I never really knew what death was.

Hi everybody i was sent this wonderful site from a Medium that just visited me.
My beautiful mum passed on the 16th Sept 2006, we have had people passing before and i felt terribly hurt.
But nothing on this earth could prepare me for this pain that i feel, it is like torture and it is getting worse i miss her more and more, i miss the feel of her when i kissed her and held her, I miss her ringing me up and saying "It's me mum" like i didn't recognise her voice.
My heart is broken and i don't know what to do, my mum was 69 when the angels took her i am 46 and i can't bare the thought that i will have to live with this pain for another 30 yrs.
I knew i loved my mum but i never had a clue just how much.
I have read many things on here and i feel so sad for everyone, i pray you all find peace ....suraya 

If Tears Could Build a Stairway And Broken Hearts a Lane Then We Would Walk Forever To Bring You Home Again.

Dear Suraya, I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing our mothers is something we all sooner or later experience, a very hard part of growing up.
Here is something I wrote about my experience. I don't know what your beliefs are, but maybe there is something that may help you.
 
ORPHANED
 
When our parents
die, we feel orphaned.
All of a sudden
we've moved up
one generation.
No matterhow young
or old we are,
we still long for
motherly care, a
father's protection
making us feel safe
and loved.
 
Perhaps they never
were able to fully
provide what we
craved, but there
is One who does
just that - God,
our Father and Mother.
We need to open
our hearts to a
love that is greater
and deeper than we
can even imagine,
love that assumed
human form to
convince us.
 
You are in my prayers and I'll light a candle for you under "suray",
Edda 

Peace and joy!

Suraya, I feel so bad for you, I too never knew death till I lost my brother in Sept. 2003. To this day my heart is still broke, I feel like a part of me is gone. I think of him every day and still cry several times a week. Everyone says it will get easier with time, but at times it seems like it is worse the longer I am here without him. At times I am a very bitter person, just the opposite of what I used to be. I know God is with me but I can't understand why he took my brother from me. Take care and keep God in your heart, it helps.

Hi Suraya, I am sorry for your loss. Unfortunatelly there is not magic that can make your pain go away. Dead is part of our lives and we must learn to cope with it. I lost my young brother 15 years ago, and still I feel some pain everytime I remember him. fortunatelly, pain does get less painful over time when dealing with a loss of a love one. One way of coping with my loss was knowing that my brother was born into the heavens the day he died here on earth. He is now an gardian angel for me and our family. while coping with my loss, someone told me that by crying everyday and wishing he was not dead, I was not allowing his soul to get to heaven where he belongs. I know my brother loved us very much and he would probably had choosen to stay here with us, but this is not our call. Only God knows when he/she want us to go to be with him/her. Your Mum is now an angel and I am sure you are always on her prayers. Ask you Mum for strang and guidence to cope with her loss. Eveytime sadness gets the best of you just remember the beautiful times you had with her and talk to her because she can hear you even in your most silent prayers.

Rosa, someone very close to me said almost the same thing. I was grieving terribly for my son, it was so hard to "let go". I cried every day. She told me I was holding him here by my deep grief. On his one year anniversary, I decided to "let go". Not that I don't still miss him, or that I've stopped loving him, but I know now he went to his true home to live with God and be one of the many Angels that guide and protect us every day. I still feel him with me sometimes, mostly when I'm sad, then the happy memories begin. He's helping me to move on as I have helped him. My child lives on in my heart and will forever until we meet again. Blessings to all. Love, Lynn xoxox

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!

Suraya, losing your mother is one of the most painful things that can happen.  My heart goes out to you.  I restarted the "suray" group with a prayer for you.

Marion in Savannah

Dearest Suraya . . So sorry about your loss.  I hope that your hurt is beginning to lessen.  I too, never knew what death really was until my father passed away when I was 16 . . almost 30 years ago.  I had never even been to a funeral . . his was my first.  When someone very special is suddenly gone, it takes some time to get over.  Give yourself time and think about what you feel your mother would want you to be doing . . Would she want you to be moving towards a place of peace or would she want you to continue to hurt deeply?  If you are a mother and perhaps you pass on, what would you want for your own children?   My heart goes out to you and your heavy heart.  I wish for you a more peaceful place . . . God Bless . . J.J.

I want to thank you all for your kind and understanding words. Iwish i could except that my mum has gone but i can't because i still can not believe it, she was here one minute and gone the next, i miss her more as each day passes.
My brother and sister feel the same we cry so much for her, when i go to my mums house my brother has not changed anything, her slippers are still be the settee in the living room, her things are everywhere we want her near us and we are sure she is with us, because we do get signs from her.
But that does not make us stop crying it just let's us know exaclty what we have lost.
I know i sound down but i am so greatful for all of your messages ...This world is full of broken hearts i will wait untill it is my turn to be free .....

If Tears Could Build a Stairway And Broken Hearts a Lane Then We Would Walk Forever To Bring You Home Again.

Dear Suraya, welcome back! I am so sorry that you still feel so badly. There is something you might try. Find a quiet place where you feel your mother's presence. Ask her what she would like to tell you. Listen with your heart. I think she might tell you that she is with you, that she wants you to be happy, to go on with your life in the way she taught you, when she was still with you. Just listen!
I'll light candles for you and her under  "suray".
Wishing you peace,
Love,  Edda

Peace and joy!

It takes baby steps sweetie to get over a loss. Don't push yourself, everything that's supposed to happen will all come to you in the time that it's supposed to. Prayers for your strength during this sad time in your life. Lynn

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!

Dear Suraya , so sorry for your painful loss ,  it's so hard when you lose someone dear , especially a parent . My father died in 1999 and I miss him so much , the feelings are the same hard to bear , but he is living in our hearts and memories .
I pray that you shall find the consolation and inner peace , that God shall ease your soul and bless you now and forever .
In Christ ,
 
D

Suraya,
 
I have only just come across your link. I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I am in the same boat as you I lost my mum (My Bestfriend) on 29 July 2006 and it cut me like a knife. I am as heartbroken as you and truly it hurts like hell not to have her around anymore.
 
I have started to visit mediums too and have had some good responses from them (thinks only mum could of known).
 
Please be aware that I am hear for you if you ever need me as we are both going through the same thing..
 
Love to you and your family
 
Nicola xxx

God bless everyone here, we are all here to help eachother....

God Bless us all

xxx

I am so sorry for your lose, a mother especially is hard to lose. May there be a peace in your heart. I lost my mom 4 years ago and I still mentally talk to her, this gives me comfort. 

sophie

If you enjoy reading I know of two great books God's gift of love: Christine marie duminiak and embraced by the light you can find them on amazon.com.
blessing to you and your family

sophie

Prayers for you and your precious Mom.

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!

Hi i never really knew what death was and also was very scared of dying but since we lost our beauitful baby boy who was 10wks old i now feel every day that goes by im getting closer to being with my baby again. I miss him so much and feel life is not worth living at the moment it has been a month tommorow since we lost our precious boy. I know we all hae to die but why do the young die when they have only just started? Life is evil and can be very unkind
The saying the good die young is so true Tommy would have been such a lovely lad and a great character. He is a very special boy who has touched a lot of hearts. Miss you baba xxx

Carolyn Murphy

Welcome, Carolyn! I am so very sorry for your loss of your baby boy. Here you will meet several mothers who have lost children and understand what you are experiencing. They will support you in your grief. I will start a candle group for you under "cazto".
Wishing you comfort and peace,
Edda

Peace and joy!

I too know your pain, after losing my daughter a month ago. The parent child bond is unbreakable.  Perhaps the book, "We are their heaven" might provide you some understanding. She is with you. Not only does she have access to all who have passed before her, but she is not done watching over you in your life. You ARE part of her heaven, so make it a pleasant viewing for her! YOu will make her happy to see you moving towards healing. May God bless you with peace and inderstanding... Another statement worth repeating - "I'm still going to cry -because my tears don't compromise my strength."
 
Take Care
Kat

I cannot know or understand what you are feeling; only you can feel that.  I can only hold your hand and feel compassion for you.
 

You may have lost an acquantance but you didn't lose the friend.
You may have lost a body but you didn't lose the soul.
You may have endured what you hoped would never happen.
But the dearest thing of all is the love you keep inside,
That will surely rekindle as you make your way along.
Remember the times, the good and the bad.
For it is with these that you build your castle
That will shine for all eternity and make your dreams come true.
 
Remember, we are all together as one.

"We must be the change we want to see in this world."

Please light a Candle in the "zendo"

You have touched my heart with your beautiful words. Thank you so much. Lynn

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!