Prayers for my cousin.....

Hi Everyone.

I know I've been on here in a long time. But,I need help.

I'm having a family problem.I don't really want to tell
my parents for fear that will upset them. You see,
The problem is my cousin,Debbie has giving me alot
of trouble lately. She has accused me prank calling
her place of employment,Among other things. I've
tried to reason with her but then she ignores me.
 Like nothing ever happened...
What gets me is that when I'm in presence of other
relatives she waves cheerfully at me. If she sees
me by myself,Forget it. And she's 100% rude all the
time. I try to ignore herbut my parents force me to
say hi to her.I hate this.I just hope that she will
feel God's love and apologize to me.I've had it with
all unneccessary quarrels,because I've done absolutely
nothing to upset her and she needs to quit saying
I have and also stop denying her own words.
           Thanks Everyone.
            Leanda

''Before You Judge Someone By Their Manners,
Behavior ,Disabilities, Way Of Life,Or Appearence.
Imagine Yourself In Their Position First...

Hello Leanda, welcome back!
 
I'm sorry you are having this unpleasantness from your cousin. Do you think she may be jealous of you in some way? People often behave strangely when they are upset about something within themselves, but want to blame someone else for it.
I think you are already doing the right thing in being as pleasant as you feel you can towards her without getting into a row. Perhaps one day soon you can ask her why she is acting this way.
 
This is very childish behaviour and I think you are right to say you don't deserve it. Tread carefully though to avoid a family split.
 
Lots of Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Hello, I am sad to read your post, and will light a candle for you to ask for all to be well...
 
What you may like to do is simply to send your cousin light and love in your thoughts and prayers.  The one word I sometimes repeat in my thoughts is  "peace".  It may help...
 
Love and light
Gina and Jackory

Dear Leanda, I am sorry about the trouble you are having with your cousin Debbie. While I was thinking over your story others have responded. It seems to me that Debbie is not a very happy person since she feels the need to create excitement in her life and get attention by being rude and trying to provoke you. You are wise in not returning rudeness with rudeness. If she can't get a rise out of you she may get bored with trying. She may be very much in need of a friend but doesn't know how to go about it. At this point you probably can only remain consistently polite (your parents are right about this) and let her be. Send good energy her way like Gina suggests.
As to not telling your parents, I would think they are quite aware of your differences with her. They may be aware of problems in Debbie's family you don't know about. Perhaps an honest discussion with them might help to understand her behavior.
 
I hope we've been of some help to you! Please, come back and tell us how you are doing!
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Hi Leanda, it sounds like a really difficult situation for you. I think Edda's point about talking to your parents is a valid one and it may be they have an inkling that all is not as it seems. Take care and sending you positive thoughts and energy
Namaste
Glenys

Hello Leanda . . .
Personal relationships, especially family ones can be very difficult and painful. I, like the others who have responded believe that the best way through this is through prayer and responding with positive energy.
If you can find the good in her, you may be able to draw it out, for (and I choke on this sometimes) in truth, we are all God's children and worthy of love . . .
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
with love . . . sparrow

everything counts... ♥

leanda,

if i were you, i'd tell your parents.  she's being a bully and that's not fair.  if you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, maybe someone else can help you.  perhaps you have a close relationship with a teacher or you have a minister you can talk to. 

i think someone needs to stand up to her about this and it will be much easier if others are there to support you.

keep us updated.

many blessings,
kriann

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Hey Everyone.
She still won't talk to me,Much less look at me.
But,I think I know what the problem is. This is
the cousin that I wrote a question about last year.
It was the one where I asked if it was okay if I still
talked to ex-husband because of their separation.
Well,Now they're divorced. And I think maybe that
the divorce maybe affecting her.Perhaps she finds
that as way to deal with the stress of her problems.
Or maybe she's angry about it or something.
  That's just my opinion,Though.

''Before You Judge Someone By Their Manners,
Behavior ,Disabilities, Way Of Life,Or Appearence.
Imagine Yourself In Their Position First...

I'm sorry Leanda, I posted my question before I saw this message.
I will light a candle for both you and your cousin. Divorce does strange things to people. Perhaps as her healing begins she will let go of her anger, or at least find a more appropriate way to deal with it. In the meantime, and I know this is hard, try not to take it personally.
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Dear Leanda,
 
Yes, I do remember your question from last year concerning continuing contact with your cousin's husband after their separation. I don't know how you decided to handle this, but even though you may have given up contact with him she may be somewhat jealous of you since you were able to get along with him and she not. This is just a thought that crosses my mind.
 
As Sparrow suggests, don't take her behavior personally. You can't change hers but you can choose how you treat her, and over time it may even affect her behavior.
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Leanda, I am sorry for the pain you are going through with your cousin. Sometimes family can hurt you the worst. I have been in your shoes and it's not fun that's for sure. I will say that I think you are doing the right thing by not responding to her negatively. I do believe in my own personal opinion that your parents need to know that there is something going on between you. Like someone else said your parents might already know. Also if thay don't know and you tell them, they might be able to shed some light on what you should do. Divorce can do weird things to people! People handle things so differently you know? ( Not saying that she doing right by treating you this way!) I hope this is sort of helpful. You are sure doing the right thing by having people pray for her.

Dear Leanda,
Everyone has given you some very good advice here. I am reminded of a book I read some years ago about the powerful effects of forgiveness.
In the book the writer gives accounts of people's change of heart and behaviour when they are forgiven and prayed for. Also in the book it said that we don't have to actually speak to the person for it to work. Thoughts are very powerful things, and positive thoughts will, I believe, eventually change your cousin's attitude to you.
 
However, this is something you shouldn't be carrying alone. Do seek help from a family member......one you feel would support you.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way