Families whose lives have been affected by alchoholism.

Today, I ask that ya'll think and say a prayer for everyone whose lives have been affected by alchohlism. We don't know how many families that have lost loves ones or have love ones that stuggle with their addition to alchohol daily. I have a brother and a grandfather who fight daily with their alchohol addiction. Last year I lost a aunt to alchoholism. May we all strive to help our families and friends get the help they need to fight their addiction!  

Dear Joya,
I will certainly join you in your thoughts and prayers for those affected by alcoholism.
 
My Granddaughter's mother is, and in turn, her mother's parents were alcoholics. Although her mum is fighting hard in rehab to stop drinking, my Granddaughter is already scarred because of it. My Son got custody of her at age 4 and a half because of the life she was living with her mother and half-brother. At age 12 her brother was also found to be drinking and drug using, and went to live with his father. He is himself a father now at age 18!! He is a lovely boy and I hope he can manage to resist going the same way as his mother. Both children have behaviour problems, which is not surprising considering their start in life and the disruptions to their lives later on.
 
So, my Granddaughter has had to grow up largely without her mum, and her mother lost both her parents to alcoholism. This is one area where the 'sin' of the parent really does get visited on the child. With the best will in the world, you can't stop passing on damaged dna. Also I can't imagine growing up without my Mum.
 
Blessings and prayers fo all affected by alcohol abuse.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

i'm sorry to hear how much your families struggle with this disease.  mine has also suffered from alcoholism.  in my family's case, it was an alcoholic father whose drinking effects me in negative ways to this day.  i still struggle in therapy to overcome the damage done by it.  i have my own addictions, not to drugs or alcohol, but i know my body carries whatever gene or chemistry that causes people to drink.

i have a really good Bible for 12 steppers.  i'll link to it in case anyone wants to check it out.  i am not a christian, but the book seems to speak to people in a way even non-Christians can relate to.

http://www.amazon.com/Serenity-Companion-Twelve-Step-Recovery/dp/0840715420/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t

i find a lot in the psalms to help me as i try to apply the 12 steps toward my healing.

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Dear Joya,
 
Thank you for bringing up a very important subject. I feel for all who have been affected by alcoholism. My heart goes out to them. My family has been spared but I do know others, personally and professionally, who have suffered from it. I have a special concern for those who are victims of drunk drivers. So many innocent lives are lost by this irresponsible behavior. Another concern is the binge drinking on college campuses leading at times to the death of young people due to alcohol poisoning. So much heartache is caused by the abuse of alcohol! It deserves our prayers, and intervention whenever possible.
 
Love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Kriann,
Thank you for the link to the book. I think we all have our own addictions.
 
I found a wonderful little book in a charity shop (where I have found many wonderful books!!) called "Each Day A New Beginning" a daily meditation book for women, compiled by the Hazelden  Foundation in the USA. They describe themselves as providing materials and information on chemical dependency and related issues, and used the 12 step program with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous.
 
When I bought it I had no idea about the 12 step program. All I saw was a lovely little book with daily wisdom and meditations. I collect these books, and this is still one of my favourites.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, thanks so much for posting. I am sorry that your son and you have to deal with alchoholism in your family. My heart goes out to you and your family. I don't think that people know how much alchohol affects so many lives and damages so many relationships. May God bless you and I hope that in time your family can heal and can overcome this obsticle. With much love sent your way.... Thanks for all your wonderful and caring posts. They mean so much to so many!

Dear Joya . . .
Haven't we all been affected in one way or another? What a tragedy. I am no different than anyone else here...I too, have been affected . . . and aunt, and an ex-lover of over ten years. And in the second case there was abuse...why did I stay so long? My aunt is unfortunately no longer with us. She committed suicide. I do not know what became of my alcoholic lover. I have forgiven him, now that the experience is almost twenty years behind me, but your post has reminded me that he still needs my prayers and compassion. No one becomes an alcoholic because he or she wants to.
I will think on this more.
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Sparrow, you are right in saying we are all affected in some way. My Father wasn't alcoholic, but he drank too much and was sometimes abusive to my Mother. It left me with a phobia of pubs and drunk people which has definitely restricted my life.
 
Lots of Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Sparrow, I'm sorry to hear that you too have been touched by alchoholism in your family. Like I have said before I think that everyone has at least been touched in some way or another with alchohol abuse. I am sorry to hear about your aunt taking her own life. I have heard that alot of times that does end up being the last resort. I know before my aunt past away they tod her that if she didn't quit drinking then she would die and she told us that she would rather drink and die then to quit drinking. As far as your ex is concerened sometimes I think that it's harder when you love a person and you have to let them go. I mean I know you love your family but when your in love with someone and you are thinking that you will spend the rest of your life with them, it's alot harder to see them drink theirself away and not care about themselves. I had an ex that drank and did drugs and he abused me much like your ex did you. In fact, I'm not putting blame just on him because I'm not God, but I lost 2 babies due to miscarriages and I really believe that it was the abuse that he put me through. I do try to pray for my family and my ex. Right now, my brother is the biggest problem. He doesn't want me or my kids around. If we go to get togethers with family he is always drinking and he is so hateful to my kids. My brother also abuses his wife. I try to help and be there for my sister-in-law. I have even told her that the abuse will never get better and that she needs to get out before he ends up hurting her really bad. I can't make that decision for her. She is the one who has to have enough and want to get out. For her and my nephew, I just hope when and if she decides this, it won't be too late. Thanks for sharing your story. To you and to others that have taken the time to post, may God give us the courage to keep trying to make a difference and may God help our families realize that they need help..  

Dear Joya,
 
Thank you for sharing with us the many struggles you have been and are dealing with. My heart goes out to you! Family relationships can get so complicated. You would like to help but others have to make their own choices. Hopefully there are no children being abused. In this case I would call Children and Family Services. One does not have to give a name because there is always fear of retaliation.
You have such a big heart in caring for so many! My prayers are with you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

I understand that phobia, Jude. I too, become uneasy if I am around someone who is drunk, which isn't very often anymore.
Thank you Joya, for your kind words, and for sharing some of your story. Alcoholism in the home makes for a very chaotic and unstable life for everyone exposed. I am glad that you were able to break out of your situation. When children are involved it compounds the situation even more. Your experience can make you wiser when dealing with the other situations in your family. You cannot live their lives for them, but you can and do offer your support and love. You are a very courageous woman.
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Sparrow, thanks for you an all the other people's kind words. I appreciate you and all the other people's blogs and comments. Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you all. Thanks again to you and all the others who have reached out and are trying to be a blessing to so many people.

Dear Joya . . .
We are all connected . . .
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Alcoholism in families is still the best kept secret and is still causing unneccesary deaths until someone decides to get better in the family The non drinking member can be the one who gets better first and this causes change in the family system in time sometimes lots of time is needed however Recovery is {ossible ans we hear the word enabling a lot however you can Enable Recovery if any of you would like to share or encourage anonymously please visit www.famrecov.com post an email and I will place what you send on our web site. If you would like to receive our newsletter leave your e address
Namaste
Barbara T

God I gratefully await and accept your miracles for me that I may be a witness to your wonder

Drinking too much is an easy thing to get into and so hard to get out off. I started drinking trying to deal with depression and more lately my mums illness now I'm stuck in this rut where I can't go a day without having a drink. I wish I'd never started as I can't stop. I've tried cutting down but that doesn't work. I hate the fact I drink and the hold it has over me and I have health problems which are only going to be made worse the more I keep drinking. I  feel weak that I allowed myself to turn to the bottle. I will drink anything even alcohol that I don't like its crazy but I can't stop even though I want to
sharon

Sharon
if you find the courage to talk to your doctor or physician there are medications that control the cravings and ease the withdrawal please dont ever stop drinking all alcohol abruptly it is a very dangerous thing to try I as a recovering alcoholic 29 years validate how hard it is but Sharon so worth the sober living. Im recently a non smoker now there is a crazy addiction I still think about it and I was smoking with early emphsyema and throwing up blood clots and the addiciton would say "Oh a blood clot is not that bad" wow am I grateful for my knowing the 12 step program I went right into action with it and it saved my life twice. please keep trying and sharng your journey too. God grant me the courage to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change , the wisdom to know the differance you can also get 12 step support online by putting AA or Twelve step Program in your search box I have some links from my web page
http://www.famrecov.com

Dear Joya,
I know what you mean. I have an alcoholic uncle. And I
worry about him nearly everyday.I sympathize maybe a
little too much. But I don't care.I love my family.I miss
my uncle was he was a nice man.Now he's mean and the
alcohol has taken over him.He doesn't even care to be around family in more.Stays locked in his bedroom all
day when family is around.Seldomly offering a hug or hello.
He also screams,curses and fights with his sons,their
wives and families.I hope and pray one day drugs and
alcohol will not affect anyone.But who knows when.
  I join  you in love and prayers.
   
     In God's Love,Always...
        Leanda
 
    

''Before You Judge Someone By Their Manners,
Behavior ,Disabilities, Way Of Life,Or Appearence.
Imagine Yourself In Their Position First...

Drinking changes how you see the world.
We drink to forget, or to ease the pain, but it leaves an aftermath of depression and hopelessness, so we drink to ease that pain.
Sharon, I hope that you might be able to find some spark, some small thing to live for, the drinking might fall away like a cloak no longer needed.
I feel helpless in trying to reach you because I feel that you are deeply enmeshed in self-hatred and regrets. You are a beautiful person. You just don't know it.
Please know that I hold you closer to my heart than you will ever know.
with love . . .
sparrow
 

everything counts... ♥

Dear Sharon, my heart goes out to you. I can't say that I know exactly what you are going through because I have never had an addiction myself. I do feel that it is not all your fault for the way you feel. You had had so much go on in your life. Especially with your mom. I think that maybe you started drinking little by little each day to ease the pain and the stress you were and are under. I hope that you know that no one here is here to judge you. We want you to know that we are here for you whenever you need to talk to someone. Please feel free to pm me or e-mail you anytime.
I do know that I have heard that smoking and drinking is 2 of the hardest things quit. I do know that my brother has never stopped drinking. It has gotten to the point that I even hate to say this but I hate to be around him because he is always yelling at my kids or doesn't want me and my kids around. My feelings have really been hurt. I just can't understand why an addiction can take over a person's life like that that, or why  a person would put it in front his family. As far as the smoking addiction, my husband has been trying to stop for a couple years now and hasn't been able to. My husband is somewhat older that I am about 2 years ago we found out that he had C.O.P.D. , emphsyma, and chronic bronchitis and to top it off he has a spot on his lung that they are just about sure that it's cancerous. They want to do surgery on him but my husband is not wanting to do it. My husband has not quit smoking and I want him to be around for our small kids. I don't want my kids to see him die. I had to stop asking him to quit smoking because he said that I was nagging him. I just want so bad to get in his mind and see why he can't stop. He knows what it's doing to his body. I have had to ask forgiveness because I feel (and please don't be upset at me saying this) but I feel like he is being so selfish knowing that what he is doing, will end up killing him and he will not be able to spend as much time with me and our children. Please help me understand how to cope with this and to give me some advise? Do you think that I am going about it the wrong way? I will light a candle in the "all" group for you and pray for you to be able to quit drinking. Thanks for taking the time to post. I know that it could not be easy admitting your addiction.