A worrying new trend

This isn't new exactly (unfortunately) but is impossible to understand.
I heard today on TV about a young man who, although by all appearances was not depressed or distressed, was spotted on the parapet of a multi-storey carpark. Naturally a crowd gathered and the police were called.
But people on the scene were appalled to see quite a few young people with mobile phones, taking pictures and videos of the youth on the parapet, and goading him and encouraging him to jump! Which he did.
Later, a child showed her parents what one of her 'friends' had sent her on her mobile phone. It was a video of the youth falling to his death.
 
This sort of thing is becoming ever more common on the Internet and there seems to be a strange culture emerging. I think we all need to be more vigilant about what our young people are seeing on the Internet.
 
I don't know what is causing such depravity, but we all should be more involved with our young, and not leaving them to become infected. Young minds are so vulnerable, and it isn't just to drugs.
 
Prayers for a return to sanity!!
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, how horrific.  what is wrong in our society that children are led to do this type of thing? (i'm truly asking this group about this as a topic of discussion hoping it can help us figure out why some young people act in such angry ways).

i'm overwhelmed wondering what this would have been like for the man before he jumped to his death.

i have been thinking a lot lately about ways i can add more good to the world since there is so much negative happening in it.  maybe this is one of those things where we can help by putting positive and compassionate things on the internet versus some of the craziness that these kids are drawn to.

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Jude, what a sad and sickening story! What goes through the heads of young people so unaware of what they are really doing? They seem taken in by the sensation of the moment without thinking of the consequences. I agree with Kriann that we need to give serious thought as how we can constructively affect such disturbing behavior. One would hope that those apalled bystanders would have tried to stop the goading! Too often one hears of bystanders freezing when they witness crimes in progress. The cause for this is a differen subject to be pondered.
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

Edda, I agree, you would hope, but I'm not sure I would want to risk even speaking to these youngsters. They can be so intimidating, and gang-warfare is becoming a problem in our cities.
Not long ago I would have had no hesitation to speak my mind, but I'm not so sure now. I fear a knife in my back just like most, although our indifference sickens me too.
 
But we are all responsible, including my response or lack of it. Young people have been badly let down if they get their kicks this way.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

I suddenly had another thought about this, after re-reading Edda's comment about them not knowing what they were really doing.
 
It has come to my notice lately that people are losing a sense of responsibility to others. Things are done without any regard for the effect on others. I have realized this week that my Granddaughter is being infected by this, normally a very kind child. I feel very responsible for the outcome.
A TV series also highlighted this among the young. Girls and boys in their early teens who had become unmanageable at home, agreed to go abroad to families in various countries, to live for just over a week with very strict but loving adults. These children were very rude to their parents and did nothing to contribute to the day-to-day family life at home, letting parents do absolutely everthing for them and coming and going at all hours.
In their host families things were very different, and they were soon informed about the effects on others that their bad behaviour had. Often with big big lessons to learn when they came face to face with the reality of what they had caused to happen to someone else through their own selfishness.
I'm all for children thinking for themsleves, but it's looking as if they have lost parental boundaries or something, and certainly respect. Respect for themselves and for others. For life!!
Children might be richer materially in our countries, but obviously need guidance more than ever before.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

I too saw about this as well I can't imagine what would have gone through that young mans mind in the seconds before he jumped and while he was falling. It sickens me to think that people were taking photos of this on mobiles and encouraging the poor man to jump. He didn't stand a chance at been talked down when people were telling him to jump. I hope they can live with themselves after doing that, they wouldn't have liked it if it had been one of there family who jumped and people were doing the same. I bet they would be up in arms.
We had a man a few years ago who jumped from a six floor window at a hotel and I was really annoyed with the press who reported it. Amazingly the man survived the fall though I don't know whether he lived or not it was never reported on. But the press were there watching and reporting and in the following days paper there were about 6 photo's of the man one where he was leaning out of the window and the others when he was actually falling which I thought was totally out of order. He wasn't a local man but you would of recognised himif you knew him. Only last week a man jumpe into the river while the police were trying to talk him out of it they found his body the next day.
I have to say like Jude I wouldn't be willling to talk to groups of young people you just never know whether they are going to pull a knife out on you. I don't like going out after it gets dark unless I really have to or I'm with someone. I'd rather be in the comfort of my own home. I don't know what the answer is to these groups of young people but I think a lot of parents these days just let them do what they like they have no rules and no consequences for breaking them at home so do as they please on the streets and there have no respect for the police or ayone in authority. Children are brought up with computer games these days some of which are very violent. My brothers stepson was playing 18 rated games when he was 8 years old and was playing some violent games that I wouldn't want to play and I do love playing games. My mum wasn't happy about it but it up to his parents if they let him but I do think its wrong.

Dear Sharon, I appreciate your observations! Sad things are sensationalized by the media since it makes for news. Too little thought is given to how people especially children may be affected by it.
 
I was not implying that anyone should risk their life intervening in a situation like Jude reported. It depends on the circumstances and who is around. Certainly the police shoud step in as quickly as possible. Cell phones are useful in reporting events quickly.
 
Wishing you everything good,
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Sharon, I do worry about children like your brother's stepson. I strongly believe that violent video and computer games have a very harmful effect on children. Something has to happen to change the trend.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Hi Jude
You are right about computer games having an effect on children. I don't know how old my brothers stepson was when he started playing these games or indeed watching 15 and 18 rated films. I went for a visit a few years ago (won't be doing that again ) and at the time he was 8 and I have to say I was quite horrified by some of the games he had and also films which I don't think he should be watching, but its nothing to do with me. Children are influenced by these films and games they are too young to understand. I went out with someone a few years ago and he had a young son and he wasn't allowed to watch rated films or play games. If he asked for one that ha a rating older than him he wasn't allowed it simple as that and I think that was right. My brothers stepson is 12 now but to me he's still too young to be playing rated games for me if your not old enough to buy it yourself then you shouldn't be playing it. I love horror films and watched one the other night and I wouldn't like to think a child watched it even I had to turn away a couple of times it was quite gruesome in parts. But my brother doesn't seem to be bothered about what he watches or plays since its him and the boys mum who buys them for him.

Dear Jude . . .
Your story touched me deeply. Unfortunately I've heard similar stories before. It brings to mind a quote from a movie I saw many years ago. I'm not sure what movie it was, but it doesn't really matter.
"There is something loose in the world, worse than sin..." The implication was that the 'something' worse was pure evil. The kind of thing you described is evil. I don't know if evil is worse than sin, or if it's all just a slippery slope. It might not be my job to decide this, but I do think it my job to put as much light into my small sphere as I can. I believe that everything we do counts, and makes a difference, as ripples on a lake when a stone is tossed in.
Even as we try to instill thoughtfulness and wisdom into our children, out in the world they meet the ever-growing effects of what is happening out there. In the US children are growing up with a sense of entitlement and selfishness I wouldn't have imagined. They have no conception of life without the things they have. They are encouraged by the media to want things. I think many parents feel guilty because they can't or don't want to give their children time and attention, so they give them things. I think you and I have had a similar conversation on another thread . . . that we older people were raised with at least a sense of manners and ethics. We wouldn't dream of talking to our parents the way children feel free to talk to theirs. There is a difference in how children are being raised. I don't mean to sound like an old hen by harkening back to the "good old days", which had their problems, but maybe it is time to return to child rearing with intention and attention. Truly, I have no solution except to do the very best I can with my life . . . like lighting loving candles to counteract the negative ones.
Your story made me heartsick. Like Edda and Kriann, I wondered what that poor man was thinking and feeling as he leaped over the parapet on that building. What a sad, sad way for him to end his day. I think there is no soul in mob mentality.
I will light a candle for him, and for the mob that goaded him to his death.

everything counts... ♥

I posted before I meant to . . .
I meant to say that I think everything we do either for positive or negative counts.
It gives me something to think about as I go through my day. Everything we do makes a difference. We will never know if a kindness offered to a stranger has saved the life of someone who is desparate. We do it anyway.
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Sparrow, I think I will put that up somewhere prominent.
 
"Everything I do makes a difference."
 
How did you know what my 'discussion' with my Granddaughter was going to be about?
 
She was talking about her birthday, what she was expecting to do and who she was expecting to invite etc. But she said her Dad didn't know if he had enough money to pay for it. I suggested she do some little jobs and earn some money to help out. (Oh my God!!) She couldn't pay for her own birthday party.........what a suggestion!! Other children's parents did this and that for them on their birthdays. That's what parents are supposed to do.... Hmmm! She asked me to think back and remember how my parents had organized birthdays. I remember only one birthday party. My Mother had no spare money for anything, let alone a party. But I don't remember thinking I was being hard done by. I wasn't short on Love or food. That was enough.
All very sad. I hate to see this lovely little spirit becoming so selfish.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude . . .
It must be the syncronicity you've been talking about . . .
We didn't have much when I was growing up either, but I, like you never felt deprived. I'm so sorry that your granddaughter is growing the way that so many children today seem to be doing. Grandchildren are not an experience I share with you. My son married later in life and I doubt very much there will be children there. Although I didn't expect parties and lavish gifts I was selfish and self-absorbed in my own little dramas, and I know that my parents despaired of my ever "coming around".And I admit that it took a lot of hard knocks and heartbreak, to make me see the world from a perspective from which I realized that the world does not revolve around me. 
Truthfully Jude, I don't know the answer. It is sad to think that your granddaughter may have to learn her lessons in this painful way . . . sometimes we just don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. Perhaps you can just love her and allow her her disdain, until she discovers what a treasure you are.
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Dear Jude, your granddaughter is giving you a hard time expecting more than she can have. I suppose her friends are used to parties and gifts, and she probably wants to do no less than they do, or even more! There may be peer pressure even at her young age!
What to do? Perhaps once she gets over her immediate upset you can sit down with her and decide how best to spend whatever resources are available. Having her plan a party for her friends on a budget may be a novel idea but it might be a challenge for her. She might even take pride in using her imagination. This may be wishful thinking.....! Welcome to the grown-up world, especially now where financial headaches are everywhere.
 
Growing up during a war and its aftermath taught me many lessons very early in life. I never had a birthday party. Like Sparrow, I did not feel deprived. My mother used to bake a torte. My preferred gifts were books. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but for my 12th birthday in 1945 I asked for a loaf of bread all to myself, and my mother managed to bake one for me (and my brother as well!). I remember being invited to only two birthday parties which were quite simple with cake and beverages. Those were difficult times then, but we have them now as well.
 
My prayers are with you,
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Jude, I'm sad to say that you are right. The young people today are being corrupted by not only drugs but by the internet, TV and alot of other things. We as parents or even family members should take the extra time to make sure that are young people know what is right and what is wrong. They also need to know that they are being watched and that if they decide to do something that is wrong, there will be consequences. I think in today's society things are so hectic that we often forget that young people still need us to spend time with them and to make sure that they are doing the right things. May we all strive to help the youg people in our world today. Thanks for your post!

Thank you darlin's !!
I'm not sure Chloe is in any frame of mind to sit down and talk to me, but that is my aim. Children are certainly different these days. Thankfully a good spanking isn't now an option, but I feel like it!!!!!! What is the alternative though? I need Supernanny!
It will be one of the subjects of our counselling session tomorrow. I don't want her dad to punish her, but I do need his support and cooperation.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, I tell you what, I think that that sort of what has happened in today's society. The kids know that we are afraid to spank and discipline them and that if we do that they will tell on us and we will get into trouble. You never heard tell of all the things going on years ago like they do now and we got spanked and disciplined back then. I still discipline my kids. I don't beat them but they are going to be raised right and they are going to know what's right and what's wrong. My kids know that when they do wrong that there are consequences. If they choose when they get older to rebel, well than that's going to be on them and at least I can't say that I didn't do my best with them.

Joya, I think you are probably right. We seem to have gone too far the other way. For instance pre-school and primary school teachers are not even allowed to accompany a little one to the toilet any more!! It's gone mad.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Hello Jude . . .
I realize I may have said something in my last post that could be misunderstood. I said, "perhaps you can just love her and allow her her disdain, until she discovers what a treasure you are."
I did not mean not to discipline her, or let her get away with bad behavior. By "allow" I meant that when all else fails, to acknowledge it to yourself, come to peace with it within yourself, knowing you are doing the very best you can. When you can't change what won't be changed. I did not mean to give up. As Edda said in another post, to meet her chaos with your calm. I'm still not sure if I am making any sense, but I hope you understand that I wasn't thinking that you should ignore the situation.
Did I over-explain?
with love . . .
sparrow
ps. My thoughts are with you today as you go to your counselling session.

everything counts... ♥

Dear Sparrow, Bless you, bless you, bless you. I understood you perfectly the first time, but thank you for putting in more detail. I do agree by the way.
There is still a battle going on as she is getting really furtive, stealing, lying and being rude, but I can see fear in her eyes and I wish she would just sit down and talk and listen. That seems to be the one thing she won't and can't do. She is behaving like a young teenager, but she is only 10, (11 in 2 weeks) Send me some patience.
Thank you for your good wishes for the counselling. My Son and I need to pull together on this one.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way