Sandra, there's an uncanny resemblance to you in that young exotic dancer.
 
As for the other.....well......Hmm!! Have you had your eyes tested lately?
 
Jude

Love is the only way

As for the other.....well......Hmm!! Have you had your eyes tested lately?

ORIGINAL: buttington

Sandra, there's an uncanny resemblance to you in that young exotic dancer.

As for the other.....well......Hmm!! Have you had your eyes tested lately?

Jude

 
Jude your in denial... I had my eyes tested last week and they have improved

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

No no no!!

this is me..........
 
 
 

Love is the only way

errrm Judethat's me you cut and pasted it here now tell the truth
 
Your photo's are coming on a treat..what a joy it is to see them

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dearest Buba, "And I am too sad to be here...or anywhere... " I know that Goran also knows of the sorrow
that is so full in your post. Dear one, this is the perfect place to be in your sadness because so many of us each in our own way,
understand those times of intense sorrow over the loss of a child. It's ok to feel them. In truth, the only way to heal is to go through
then, allow them, and in the midst of them to sink into the love and prayers that support you here, knowing that to a degree, many
of us understand somewhat what you are feeling. Dear One, know that you are carried in prayer right now that all the beautiful posts
of poetry, and pictures from Jude and Sandra will comfort you with the knowledge that Goran is as close to you as your own breath. May his
love surround you and hold you tenderly with little Goran surprises that only you and he know about. Each time you see a white dandelion puff
blowing in the wind may it remind you of all those little hugs and kisses he is sending to you.
This deep sadness for now, too, shall pass--I promise!

Jude and Sandra, your little pictures made me smile. I would definitely be the little old lady but right now, I am far from dancing the jig and
quite sure I wouldn't even be capable of it.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Dear Betty,
thank you for your comforting words.

May his love surround you and hold you tenderly with little Goran surprises that only you and he know about...
This deep sadness for now, too, shall pass--I promise!

I know dear Betty but some days are very hard to cope.I feel so tired of sadness,of trying to be "normal" for other people,
so miserable,so helpless to change things in a way I would like them to be ; I want impossible - to be happy again but with
both my sons together...
 
      
 
~with regards to all~
  Buba,Goran's mom
_____________________________

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles

Dearest Buba,
I haven't lost a child, but I do know the excruciating pain of not having what I long for, and how powerless I feel to change that.
 
Accepting what is can be one of the hardest things for us to face up to.
 
I can't do or say anything to comfort you, but please know you are in my heart and in my prayers.
 
With Love and hugs, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Dear Buba,
 
I guess in many ways the new 'normal' is what we live with every day
 
of our life.It will never be the way we long it to be.Through each other
 
we learn to live again we really do.
 
How many times Buba have I felt low and you have picked me up with
 
your endless cups of tea and love ..I have lost count I really have.
 
Buba I wish I could turn back the hands of time for you but I can't.
 
I do know though Buba through Goran I have found you and I am
 
forever grateful to him.Buba one day your family will be complete again
 
but until that day you must stay on earth if only to keep your Goran's
 
memory alive.
 
 
I know today is dark but I pray with all of my heart that tomorrow
 
will bring you light I really do.
 
I don't want to see you suffer Buba however I know that the pain you
 
are feelings allows you to grow it really does.
 
Love and warm hugs ...come home soon Buba as you tea is getting cold.
 
Love always,Sandra the dippy onexxxx
 
.
 
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

I understand the pain of losing a son. My son, Brandon, who was 29 yrs. old, shot himself on March 6th. I am devastated beyond words. I have screamed to Heaven for my son back...that I could have done something...but I know I will see him in Heaven one day. It can't come too soon. This pain is immeasurable and I am in a gulf that has taken me down down down. Our son had been on zoloft for a short time and it was the catalyst for his unexpected suicide. I have cried daily several times a day to the point that my vision is blurry now. I ask God for peace...that maybe I can dream about my son...hear his voice...his laughter...I love him so much. It has changed our lives...I am afraid I will never genuinely smile again. He was very close to me...we always had long philisophical talks...religion, politics...everything that had meaning. He was a deep thinker and a lover of life. I am so so sad.

In Brandon's Memory, My beloved son

Welcome to the forum, Dale!

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Brandon. My heart goes out to you in your grief that is so fresh and overwhelming. As you have already discovered, there are other mothers here who have lost children. They, better than anyone else, can understand your pain. Please, feel free to come here and share your feelings and thoughts. There is always somebody here glad to listen to you and offer support!

I will light a candle for you in the ALL group. Perhaps you would like to start a group of your own. The top threads in the Light a Candle Forum provide instructions. If you wish we can start a group for you.

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Dale, 
I am so sorry for your loss and I understand very well everything you feel.
Instead of my own words ,I will post this letter from our forum-friend Lori,who lost her beloved son Eric.
In this letter she told everything we are going through and I hope she will not mind that I post her letter.
 
My New Normal..........
                              By Lori Connoly
    
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you know someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every tall, blue-eyed young man ,who looks like he is my son’s age.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something or someone special my son loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.

Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.

Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..." I love God, I know that my son is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why healthy children were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food.

Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours.

Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal".
 
Buba,Goran's mom
 
P.S. I will add : Normal is that we HATE our NEW NORMAL and it is so hard to live like that...
 

Dear Jude and Sandra,

I can't do or say anything to comfort you, but please know you are in my heart and in my prayers.

You have done so much for me being here for me and holding my hand , when I am feeling dawn and when I am feeling "normal".Thanks!


~with love to all~
Buba,Goran's mom

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles

Dear Dale and Buba,
 
My heart goes out to you both anew, especially having read Lori's heartfelt post too. thank you Buba for posting it.
 
My Love goes out to all three of you.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Dale,

I would also like to welcome you to the forum.

My heart really goes out to you  reading about the sad way your son's life came

to an end on earth.

I can't imagine what pain you are feeling in fact I am sure  it's beyond measure.

Your grief is so new and raw at the moment but in time even though it may not

seem like it right now,you will gain  inner peace then  all the wonderful

and precious memories of your son will come flooding back.

Brandon is still close to you in so many ways,but sadly not in the way you

plead and beg for daily.

My thoughts are with you they really are.

Take good care,Sandraxxx



Dear Buba,

The  'new normal' will last a life time for many,but Buba it helps so much when

other's hold our hand,just like you do for so many of us.

Holding your hand right now Buba to lovingly.

Take care My Dear Gentle Buba,Love always,Sandraxxxx

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

ORIGINAL: bm

Dear Betty,
thank you for your comforting words.

May his love surround you and hold you tenderly with little Goran surprises that only you and he know about...
This deep sadness for now, too, shall pass--I promise!

I know dear Betty but some days are very hard to cope.I feel so tired of sadness,of trying to be "normal" for other people,
so miserable,so helpless to change things in a way I would like them to be ; I want impossible - to be happy again but with
both my sons together...

     

~with regards to all~
  Buba,Goran's mom
_____________________________

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles

*****************************************************
 
Dear BM  GOOD MORNING
 
">
 
Sending a morninig cup of warm sunshine across the pond 
As we sit and chat over a morning cup of Sunshine, please remember all the blessings you have and continue to give.  As you see
the sun out your window, and feel the warmth, let it light up your heart and warm you up like a cozy snuggly blanket, that would be your morning hug from Goran,
then when you hear a bird sing, that will be Goran saying  Mom where is my shirt??
As we continue our chat: let me just say, I am with you on your posting, I just scream it in my head, and thats where it all began,
I read your post and immediately responded, it was the first time I posted, and that changed alot, while it isn't the change you are
seeking and I would give anything to have the Magic Change wand, change what happened to Goran for you, except that we are always placed in the right place at the right moment in time, not that we humans comprehend this very well, and His Promise is to
prepare a place and he will return to us.
 
John 14:2
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
 
John 14:3
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
 
I keep you in my prayers each morning, and as the tears well up in my eyes- as I pass the cows and think of Austin- I think of you and Sandra and many others that post here, until I arrive at work, to get in the normal mode for others, I think of the funny posts and pictures you put up and I think you have such strength and grace to go on.
Besides that You are a Very Important Person, a candlelight Keeper, as so many times I go to check on Austin's candles, (48 hours goes quick)and there is your candle beaming brightly with a lovely message, I begin to think maybe Austin who looks after Lois found Goran and Goran looks after Austin and Louis as he had more Earth experience, and they each are trying to keep us happy
and smiling here and not be miserable and through this lovely cyber forum we have the ability to connect with each other even
though we are far away from each other.
I spoke to someone today, I asked how are you today, he said " miserable" I said why?  the sun is out, its bright and warm, he said
my doctor tell me I have terminal COPD, and I'm not supposed to be here, and that he was told 2 years ago, he had maybe a year,
he said, but he is not done yet so he is not willing to leave here yet.  I said You want to be here on Earth with everything that is going on, he said he has a few more things to do... (I wear a pin picture of Austin he noticed it) he said what a Beautiful boy, I looked and my hair usually is covering it, so I looked and said, oh THank YOu, he asked how old is he?  I had to stand and keep the tears back while mustering my answer, and I said think of BM and San67, so I said well he is in Heaven and gave him the age Austin would be, he then told me he had 4 daughters, and he is 84, and then told me of the horrible tradegy that happened to his one daughter at age 15, it was a long time ago and I could understand his answer of miserable, as I can understand your posting to say so miserable, and that is why I brought a cup of sunshine to you.
I want you to be happy with both sons together and you will all be together, just keep saying One Day, Someday
that's my new phrase when I get those feelings and believe me I have so many so much of the time.
 
Here is a Song that I hope will brighten your spirit:
 
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzdekl3Qj8c
 
And Last but not least: My Prayer with You
 
Lord,You've chosen specific people to be a part of my Life
Thank You for family and friends,
casual acquintances
and strangers
I meet only once.
They're all a part of Your plan
and all in my life for a reason.
Bless them today, Lord
as You meet their needs
and guide them
according to Your will.
Near or far, together or apart,
keep friends and loved ones close
until we meet again.   
 
I enjoyed having a morning cup of sunshine with you, and I Thank You so much for caring to share. Your Postings and your Candles
are very Appreciated:
 
WLAP
 

The Gift of Austin
http://www.totsites.com/tot/babyaustinajr
WLAP, Austin's mommy
http://www.musicalcreations.biz/samples.html

I begin to think maybe Austin who looks after Lois found Goran and Goran looks after Austin and Louis as he had more Earth experience, and they each are trying to keep us happy
and smiling here and not be miserable and through this lovely cyber forum we have the ability to connect with each other even
though we are far away from each other.

 
Xanadue, that is the most beautiful and heartfelt post. How lovely that you had that exchange with the elderly man, who so needed to talk.
Also I loved the idea of the "cup of sunshine."
 
with Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Oh Dear Xanadue,

Like Jude says what a moving  post....

Xandadue when you met that man yesterday I feel in many ways you both gained

so much.I am so proud of you to be able to share with him a small bit about your

precious Austin.I am sure it must have been hard Xanadue but like you I felt so

proud and happy to hear you tell this man about your Son.I am sure this kind man

also felt happy that he could share his story about his little girl,even though like you

the pain in doing this may have been heavy.But each time we feel pain in many ways

I feel we grow.Not sure if this makes sense but I do feel through our pain we see

other things that allows us to become who are are today.


One of the things this nice man had to do before he passes was to be there yesterday

to meet you , I am positive,bless him I hope he lives many more years and

that when he does pass on it will be painless I really do.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.

John 14:3
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Do you know each day I am growing in Faith,yes there are days when I knock myself back

but we all do this I think.

I do hang on to this belief that our loved ones will indeed take us home again.But only

when the time is right and not before.


Everyone on this forum has lost someone dear to them ,but what a gift they have  left us.

I am so grateful to all of our loved ones for allowing us to grow through them each and

everyday.

I hope today brings you all some sunshine as this is what our loved wants want I am

so sure,Love and many gentle thoughts,Sandraxxxx


Sending a morninig cup of warm sunshine across the pond

Sorry forgot to add...you really did do this today Xanadue for me and many

more people I am sure!

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dear Dale,
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. It is horrible to lose a child, regardless of their age. I lost a son 20 months ago. The raw pain you are feeling now will begin to mellow as time passes. I don't think we will ever 'get over it' but we can have moments of peace, comfort and even joy.
 
Our worlds have changed forever, as Buba wrote in the 'new normal'.
 
You're a wise and kind person, Buba. I'm glad I've gotten to know you a little bit...but I would give anything to have the circumstances for all of us changed.
 
Peace,
Donna

Death cannot kill that which lives forever.
William Penn

This is a poem written by Zann Carter, after her son died.
 
At the Supermarket for the Bereaved
 
there is an open box of Kleenex
at the end of every aisle.
 
No one questions why you weep inconsolably
before the Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
 
why you stand still and silent,
staring at the little Jell - O cups,
remembering.
 
At the Supermarket for the Bereaved
 
there are blank journals
attached to each cart.
 
On the pages, blue - black
with ink and tears,
you can write
            "he loved salted butter"
or
            "I made him Ovaltine shakes when his jaw was broken"
or
            "i miss i miss i miss him
                      with all my heart"
 
just underneath where someone else wrote
             "I always brought her Oreos for a treat"
and
             "Every normal act is not normal
                      anymore."

In the Supermarket for the Bereaved
 
there are angels at the check - out.
 
They add everything up,
golden light radiating
from their brows, promising
some kind of grace
 
somewhere.
 
'Fear Not,' they murmur.
 
They handle your food
as if it is sacred.
 
When they give you change,
their cool fingers brush your palm,
 
and for a blessed instant
hold your grief as their own.
 
At the exit, there are candles to light
and places to leave things:
a can of mini - raviolis,
a strawberry,
blue corn
chips.
 
 
 
I read this less than a year after Jake died. It resonated then, and still does. This is what it was/is like for me...especially the Cinn. Toast Crunch. I get hit with a wave of grief and memory at the oddest times and, sometimes, for the weirdest reasons. A couple of months ago Elton John came on the radio at work and sang "Circle of Life" from The Lion King. I basically knocked a couple of people down getting outside, where I could bawl in relative privacy.
 
And so it goes.
 
Peace,
Donna

Death cannot kill that which lives forever.
William Penn

P.S. I will add : Normal is that we HATE our NEW NORMAL and it is so hard to live like that...

Dear Buba,

Hope each day you find new ways to shine forth in this "new normal" and I know you do in some ways. Its true at times we never get over our loss yet we do carry on for others and ourselves. You know after 30 years after my sisters passing it still like I have so many moments of wondering what it  might be like to be able to share my life with her. Her son who was five at the time of her death just wrote me a email about what he is learning about her life. He asked me to explain what I know and its hard to do. I think about the things her sons will never have...because they did not get to feel her physically with them as they grew up and know her bright and loving ways as I did and all the joy she brought into everyone she met. That quote so sums it up, "the new normal" it is not easy to carry on. I tried to find this writing a retreat (Immaculate Heart) sent me but I have not found it yet. It went something like this....As we go on through our lives let us not dwell in the missing but bring you with us today to share in the joys of the now. So when we are in a beautiful setting or amongst friends and family, or near something we know you would enjoy, we bring you there and share it in our hearts with you. Just saying to ourselves you would of loved this too...

I like to welcome Dale and Donna here. The poems and the heartfelt posts so tender and honest. Thank you for sharing your hearts with all of us.

Xanadue so very deep with understanding...when the triggers come and we cry...

As I sit here and think about sharing with my nephew about his mom and I see her bright smiling face and remember her warmth and loving spirit. I hear her laughter and remember what she loved in her life her sons, nature, music, dancing, people...................the list could go on and on.
The moments we shared....come and they comfort me. As the tears still come to....the new normal at times.

My heart goes out to all of you here who have lost a child....and that each day brings you love and light as all of the angels prepare a way for you to heal. As Jesus holds your hand and the Holy Spirit comes and comforts you all. As understanding souls come into your life each day to share with you all that this new normal is....now. On the post by Tarika she writes about...each tear being used at the end of times for healing by God...as most of us here has shed rivers of tears...it is a consoling thought to hold when they flood our eyes again and again. I love you all and thank you all for each word you have wrote and shared here. In the impossible.....mourning that comes with all of this.

Live life to the fullest..was one of my sisters sayings and one that I held onto...so many times...to continue in her honor and her memory.

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are