The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dearest Buba,
I'm so very sorry you are hurting so badly, and that something so beautiful, like the Lime trees are causing it.
 
I too have a memory associated with Lime trees. I visited the house where my Mother was born and saw the Lime tree where she had a swing as a child. I felt so close to her as I touched the tree and gathered leaves from the ground.
 
Please know that we are all wrapping you in our arms and holding you up.
 
Much Love and Hugs,
Jude ♥

Love is the only way

 
My dear dear friends, thank you for your help and support.
Sometimes I feel like a spoiled child who is crying to get your
attention.But believe me it is so hard and difficult to keep all feelings
inside the broken heart that sometimes I just must cry on your shoulder...
Thank you for listening and understanding (mothering me!).
It seems that I miss my mom too,so,so much...
~with regards to all~ 
 Buba,Goran's mom

Dearest Buba,  
 
You are NOT a spoiled child! It is good to let some of your pain out. Shared sorrow is half the sorrow! You are always welcome to cry on our shoulders! Tears are cleansing!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear, dear Buba . . .
I know too,
the power of memories . . .
how they are textured with colour and scents . . .
I wish that I could wrap my arms around you
just now . . .
you are not alone at all . . .
can't you feel all of us
reaching out to share your burden?
You are never, never out of my thoughts
and never, ever out of my heart
with love . . .
sparrow
  

everything counts... ♥

It seems that I miss my mom too,so,so much...

 
Dearest Buba,
I echo everything Edda and Sparrow have said. We never stop needing our Moms dear Buba. I often wish mine was still here for me too.
 
Please don't hesitate to come and share your sorrows as well as your joys. That's what we are here for.
 
Much Love and Hugs,
Jude

Love is the only way

Buba, you are far from a spoiled child.  The heart must have people who you can cry to.  Its the way it is.  People here who love you, which is a very long list of people, want you to truely say how you feel.  We do not need for you to pretend, or cover up your feelings.  So  please feel guilt free here  share your true feelings with those who love you.
 
I am sending love to you Buba.  While your heart feels broken, it is a kind and good heart.   A heart that has expeerieced what no human being should ever have to live with.  love,  liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

A heart that has expeerieced what no human being should ever have to live with.

 
God how true this is Liliwings how true
Buba I gained so much love from each post
and I am sure you did too
Like the others say you are not a spoilt child
not at all....
you are a Mother who has had to face the
heartwrenching death of your precious precious child.
I will never ever understand why we had to see our children being laid to rest not ever
we should have been the first to go and I wish
it was that way I really do....
 
Buba life now is so painful  for you, there is not a
day that goes by that I don't think  and pray for you and your Goran not ever.
 
I just wish with all my heart and soul I met you under different circumstances
 
all I can do is be there for you Buba just like you like the other ladies and like you are for us.
 
I pray that your pain eases  and that your precious and wonderful memories of your Son
 will help cushion your heart with sunshine.
 
I miss my Mother too Buba in so many ways I really do  
 
Love to you Buba and all who walk this forum.
 
Sandraxxxxxxxxxx
         ♥ 
  

 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Buba,
Scent is a huge trigger for memory. When we had to clean out Jake's apartment my husband bought scented garbage bags and took them along. Months later we ran out of garbage bags and he grabbed one of the leftover scented bags from the garage. When I opened the broom closet door and that scent hit me...Memories of a terrible, terrible day flooded me and brought me to my knees. Those garbage bags disappeared from our property after that. (I don't know why they didn't have the same effect on my husband...and I'd never thought of that until right now.)
 
Along the same lines: Jake was a young, virile guy and it seems they all have to douse themselves with body spray (Axe type stuff) to the point that it would almost induce an asthma attack when he first came out of the bathroom after primping. My younger son has one of Jake's t - shirts that smells of the body spray, his soap...him. He put it in a gallon ziplock bag and is saving it. Having it in the ziplock retains the scent, for now. My younger son is 15, going on 16, and he would never admit it...but I suspect that when he is really missing Jake he opens that bag and breathes in the scent (I know I've snuck into his room when he's not around and gotten into that bag for that purpose).
 
This is a tough time of year for me, too, Buba. Jake's birthday was in April, then we have Mother's Day, then Father's Day...then "Death week" in July. And, Jake was just a summertime, life's a blast kind of guy. I can feel myself sinking lower and lower and...
 
Like you, I am screaming inside, and only the people who have been through this can really understand (although there are lots of good people who have empathy, and they help sometimes). I don't want this life, in spite of my love for my surviving son and my grandson. It's just not enough, because I want Jake, too. The hole in my heart will never fill. That sounds so horrible when I re-read it. I do love my remaining son...but it's still true that the love I feel for him is not enough right now.
 
Hang in there, Buba. I am thinking of you.
 
Peace,
Donna

Death cannot kill that which lives forever.
William Penn

Welcome to the forum, Louie.
I am sorry to hear of your loss.
Myheart goes out to you.

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Hi Donna,
I read your words.  So eloquently stated.  you belong to a club that no one everwants to ever be a member of.  I am glad that you found this thread and am hoping that you will get to know people here.  I am sending love to you, to Buba, Sandra and all  who have had the unimaginable happen in their lives.  liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Dear friends,
Sandra,Edda,Sparrow,Jude,Liliwings,Diane...Thank you once again for your support and understanding. It helps to know that you are with me...
~with regards to all~
  Buba,Goran's mom

Scent is a huge trigger for memory.

Dearest Donna,
Thank you for your post,I am so glad to see you here.
I can understand so well every single word and feeling
you are going through! I , like you,do the similar:
keeping Goran's clothes and some little things which
have a meaning for me remainding me what he loved.
All of that is stored in his part of wardrobe where it was allways...
Every few months I put all his clothes  in washing machine to wash and
refresh but I must be careful to do that when I am home alone,I don't want
my younger son and husband to see that and to make them hurt...
I also have Goran's spray and aftershave ...Sometimes a crazy feeling
is in my mind that I keep that for him WHEN he came back home...one day...
Thank you for your support Donna, you hang in too.
Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you regards and love,
Buba,Goran's mom
P.S. This is one of many lime trees with it's flowers...and strong
       beautiful but painful for me,scent...

It helps to know that you are with me...

Don't forget this, Buba . . .
ever
  ♥

everything counts... ♥

Dearest Donna
 
My thoughts are with you right now I read your post and I just wanted to hug you.
 
I will never know what you are suffering not ever but in some ways I do
 
understand so well.
 
I understand that you don't want this life and I pray in time somehow
 
your heart feels a small bit lighter..
 
Jake would never wish you to suffer this way no child would not ever.
 
I have no doubt you love both your sons but it's heart breaking you can only
 
hug one for now.
 
My thoughts are with both you and Buba right now.


I know D God will  carry you both in his loving arms always..
 
 
 
 

you belong to a club that no one everwants to ever be a member of. I am glad that you found this thread and am hoping that you will get to know people here. I am sending love to you, to Buba, Sandra and all who have had the unimaginable happen in their lives. liliwings

 
 
My dear Liliwings
 
You wrote such powerful words and your right it's a club I never ever
 
thought I would join.
 
But do you know Liliwings it's through people like you that my own
 
pain has eased.
 
I will be forever grateful to you and all who help me daily I really will.
 
 
 
Sweet Gentle  Buba
 
It's not a crazy feeling not ever it's  Mother that longs for her child back
 
and God I wish it were different for you and for you all.
 
I am so sorry that you are suffering so much,at times I feel I
 
may not be 'normal' as my grief is less painful.
 
I would carry your pain Buba if I could and I mean this with all
 
of my heart and soul.
 
       
 
I don't want you to suffer each and everyday not at all.I don't want
 
anyone to suffer but I can't stop your pain not at all.
 
Like Sparrow said we are all with each other daily .
 
The nice thing is when I fly off this 'safe home' I feel you all
 
with me so much.This is how I get through each and everyday it
 
really is....
 
 
 
Love and so much love to you all,Sandra xxxxxxxxxx
       
 
 
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Sandra,when my Goran was a little boy he loved so much
stories about dinosaurs  !!! At that time we have every day a few hours without electricity,and he liked the best when his dad was telling him story in the dark room only with the light of a candle!He used to say : I can't wait them to turn off electricity!We asked :Why??? And he said : That dad is going to tell me story about dinosaur!
He was 5 years old and he dreamed to become an archeologist.For a days he was drawing bones and sceletons ( like archeologist).I still keep that notebook with his drawings.I thought ,at that time, if some children's psychologist would have seen those drawings he would think that something is wrong with my 5years old son! But he simply just wanted to be archeologist!
Thank you for your dinosaur story in Hello thread,
you remainded me about my precious memories....
~with love~
Buba,Goran's mom

Dearest Buba
 
what a lovely story this  it's so lovely to hear some your precious memories
 
about Goran it really is.I am sure this note book is priceless now.
 
Buba photo's fade but memories last a life time they really do.
 
God love you Buba my tea friend ....
 
 
      

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

When Jake was a little boy he was crazy about dinosaurs, too. In kindergarten, when the children were talking about what they wanted to do when they grew up, Jake said he wanted to be a veterinarian and that he wanted to treat dinosaurs. He would have been the poorest vet in the world...
 
A good memory. Thanks, you guys.
 
Peace,
Donna

Death cannot kill that which lives forever.
William Penn

Dearest Donna
 
Your post made me smile so much..the innocence of children is so beauitful.
 
Thank you for sharing a part of your Jake's memories with me.
 
Sorry now I did not see this post before I popped the other post in.
 
Take care Donna,Sandra xx
               

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Buba and Donna  My heart is just plain smiling after reading your stories.
 
Buba, what a sweet story that was.  I wonder if Goran is doing something with archeology on the other side.  I am sure of one thing, he is happy and doing well.  How lucky he is to have had such a wonderful beautiful mom.  Your heart is so beautiful buba. 
 
Donna, What a sweet story !!!  and yes, Jake would not have had many patients had he been a veterinarian who treated dinosaurs.  Bless his beautiful heart.  And yours also Donna

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.