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 The Courage to Change...

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bernie

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The Courage to Change... - 12/6/2008 2:00 PM ( #1 )
Many so-called neurotics and persons w/ character disorders work long and hard until they recognize and admit their own shortcomings. But all their insights, hard as they were to come by, do little or nothing by way of a cure. The reason is that existing ego deficits make it impossible for them to translate the insights into practice. Until ego arrests (defects of the psychological structure & of ego functions that render many insights useless) are developed in their stead, the patients cannot complete what is called the "working through" process.
 
...it is erroneous to assume that the many difficulties in loving, working and living faced by the neurotic personality are exclusively the result of conflicts. Rather, the underlying  ego structure and functions are not adequate to resolve the conflicts, even after the patient has become convinced that solutions and resolutions are necessary.
 
...But amongst the goals of all psychotherapies one stands out invariably: to discover maladaptive behavior patterns and to replace them by adaptive forms of conduct.... it depends on the patient whether or not therapeutic and reparatory opportunities are being used. the only remedy against the patient's frequent unwillingness to learn to live is the removal of resistances - which is what psychotherapy amounts to.
 
(Edrita Fried, Ph.D., The Courage to Change: From Insight to Self-Innovation)
 
 
 
 
The liabilities of our ego and of self have to be transformed into assets before insight can produce behavioral change.
 
 
All men of good will or, rather, all men who love life must form a united front for survival, for the continuation of life and civilization. With all the scientific and technical progress man has made, he is bound to solve the problem of hunger and poverty, and he can afford to try solutions in different directions. There is only one thing he can not afford - and that is to go on with preparations for war, which, this time, will lead to catastrophe. There is still time to anticipate the next historical development and to change our course. But unless we act soon we shall lose the initiative, and circumstances, institutions, and weapons, which we created, will take over and decide our fate.
 
(Erich Fromm, May Man Prevail? An Inquiry Into the Facts and Fiction of Foreign Policy)
lilsparrow

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RE: The Courage to Change... - 12/7/2008 2:35 PM ( #2 )
Dear Bernie . . .
For many years I was in therapy, seeking to be made whole. I gathered many insights and tools, but was never able to utilize them. I would become disillusioned and stop, only to go back later to a new therapist, always seeking answers. One day it dawned on my that I was searching for someone, usually a therapist, but not always, to "make me better". I was seeking a savior. But of course, no one could do this. After this realization, I stopped searching for a cure through therapy, but continued privately on my spiritual quest. Some years later another light dawned, and that was that I am not my ego, and that trying to feed the cares and concerns of my ego, would not bring me either wisdom or peace. I also realized that happiness was not the goal, but a byproduct. By the grace of God (God being of course identified in an infinite number of ways by people who have felt the touch of his presence in their hearts) I see that it is up to me to save myself, and that truths of who I really am, are beginning to make sense to me and free me from the clutches of my "Iago". I now have a direction in which to travel, spiritually, and I have never felt more free in my life.
 
"The liabilities of our ego and of self have to be transformed into assets before insight can produce behavioral change."
 
I now completely "get" this. I did have a therapist who sought in every way she knew to help me see this . . . but at the time something in me was too resistant to its truth. I often feel like contacting her to tell her I understand, but she has long since moved on.
Thank you Bernie, for sharing this . . .
with love . . .
sparrow
ps. If this sounds a little garbled it all got erased by mistake and in trying to re-capture my thoughts.
everything counts...
bernie

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RE: The Courage to Change... - 12/7/2008 4:39 PM ( #3 )
God bless!

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