My firstborn son Seneca

Marie, I can only applaud everything you say here so eloquently.
 
Wishing you a Blessed Christmas.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Marie,
 
Thank you for sharing your Christmas reflections with us! I hope they will help others who have lost a child see that healing can come even though it may take a long time.
 
Have a joyous Christmas and a grace-filled New Year!
 
Love,  Edda

Peace and joy!

Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas. Keeping everyone in my prayers today.
 
God Bless
Marie
Seneca's Mom

My older son, Jacob, died of a drug overdose in July, 2007. I agree - there is no 'getting over' this loss. We just made it past the first holiday season since he died. I hope you and your family have found some peace.

Welcome to the forum, Donna! I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Jacob. I can't even imagine how hard this festive season must have been for you. There are several mothers in this forum who have lost their sons. Looking through the various threads you will encounter them and discover that you are not alone in your grief and the struggles this life-changing event has caused in your life.
 
I'll keep you in my prayers!
Wishing you peace, comfort and strength,
Love, Edda

Peace and joy!

Hello Donna. I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest prayers for you and your family for comfort to you during this time.
The thought there is no getting over it and realizing it for me has become a very small part of my own personal healing after many years.
This is my story. My own personal grief and how I was looking at the tragic loss of my son is something that was worked through everyday full time for many years and became a heavy load that had became part of my being and had become a load very hard to carry. I felt the tragedy and all it's visions of indecribeable memory had become a part of me, not the loss itself, I had to let the tragedy and all it entailed go for once, for one full day for relief. I began to feel as if I wore it as part of dressing in the morning. It had been consuming me. Relief came and went 3 years later without being aware of it until later one evening. It struck me late one night I did not grieve and react to the tragic situation all day and it came back as before, except this time being more aware of what I was doing. Grieving is part of the natural process, and is much needed to work through this very diffucult road I never planned to be on and was lost, blinded by loss, grief and shock. But in my case it had become me, who I was.
Healing may have come sooner had I realized how unhealthy grieving this way was on me and reached out to a clergy member or someone who was able to guide and counsel as I did later. A way to unload some of this.
What I am trying to say, no disrepect intended please, be easy on yourself.
Getting caught up and overwhelmed as I was doing was not good and not healthy and the tragedy took it's toll, again in a different way.  I had to let it go, not the loss but the tragedy of it all, for me and my loved ones to return to functioning, and care for and love those in the family at an optimum level. For me, there is no getting over it, but looking at the situation in a new light, possible by God, many prayers, people that were supportive in many ways and self realization, life has finally after 4 very long years of blame, guilt, and I should have, I could have, as many family and friends have also said. I have been able to return to a so called normal life. Other family members needed me to love them and be loved. They cannot replace my son, by any means.  My pain will always be there, it is natural, still very painful and real, but the joy of my son and his life and love are a bigger part today, and I haven't given into the tragic reminders, but could have and been in a different place. These are my own thoughts on I will never get over it. Learned and worked through, and almost lost myself to anger, blame, guilt and carrying it around as part of me. I have asked Our Lord and His Blessed Mother for healing daily regularly for a long time. Our Lord is there and can answer for the asking and His Mother was a Mother too and understands, just as we do....
 
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Another Mother who understands,
God Bless and comfort all
Marie
Seneca's Mom      

Hello Gratefulness family. Could someone please help me locate a poem. I am looking for a saying I have once seen on the forum but not sure where. What I am looking for is the poem of sorts that talks about friends and the ones that come into your life for a time and the friends that come for a lifetime. I would like to put this on Seneca's Memorial website. Thank you.
 
A Blessed day to everyone and a good week. Keeping  everyone in my prayers.
 
Marie

Marie, I checked on Google, not sure if this is what you are looking for.
 
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.
 
There is a much longer version there too. Good luck in finding what you seek. Blessings to you and Angel Seneca.

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
 
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season .
 
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.  Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Love is the only way

Lynn and Jude thank you, thank you for finding this for me. I am Grateful to have this to add to my son's site. Over the years it makes you think of those friends that have come and gone in your life and adds a sense of understanding of those special people, perhaps some Angels that may have been sent for times when you needed them the most. I wish I had read this when I was younger, perhaps missing friends that have come and gone may have been clearer. Well with age comes wisdom, I guess. LOL
 
Marie 

Marie,
I have been playing catch up with this site, and was reading through some of your older postings, including one with a link to the story of your son's addiction and passing.
 
You have such courage to put this story out there in an effort to raise awareness.
 
I have been doing small works with a local halfway house for recovering addicts and alcoholics, which was the place where Jake began his recovery. It helps me to feel that there is some meaning to his death. Hopefully, your story will help others in a much larger scale than what I have attempted so far. If the education you are providing can prevent just one death you have, in my opinion, done your job.
 
Thank you.
 
Donna
 

Death cannot kill that which lives forever.
William Penn

Hello Donna. As a parent we both have realized the need to help others through our own experiences. Posting Seneca's, My family story was done so awareness can be made of the possibilty of what impact an addiction can have on the addicted , the family and all loved ones in their life.
Addiction and the pain, and emotional turmoil takes the toll on Everyone invloved. Not only the user.
The family and friends are also feeling the pain of addiction, although the user may say there is no problem.
Because of addiction, the drug begins to speak through the person, personality changes, words are that of the dependecy, no longer of the person, relationships break down and fall apart. The physical addiction becomes stronger. And emotional isolation from the breakdown in relationships can make one to use more.
This thread is about addiction and My family and the destruction it has had on many, most importantly Seneca, my son and the high price he had paid because of addiction, his life.
The suffering and the pain of addiction to drugs or alcohol is not a game, not a casual taking of a substance, it can cost one their life.
We, all suffer the pain that is part of the addiction, the user, the family members and friends who are there to lean on and are there to help, if one would only ask for help, then we can guide and help can be sought.
Addiction does not need to be handled alone, we, are all here to help, whether we are family, friends, a counselor or someone you feel you can trust to guide you, to help. You just need to be open with the problem. We are not here to judge, we love and care about you and your well being, we can help if you ask. We have become part of your deep pain and darkness. We are your family and friends. We will be with you to walk with you, support you and get help and be a part of your help.
 
Living in the here and now, I could not help Seneca, but of a possibilty, just maybe, one can see their family in this story and the destruction it has caused. Here and now, does not take away the pain and the lifetime of pain it has caused on the user, family, friends and loved ones. Please do not play a game with these substances. You are loved by us and God, Our Maker. We can help. You just need to speak, you won't be judged. You are loved, our friend, our family member.
 
Amen.
 
 Marie
Seneca's Mom
 

Coming here to Gratefulness was brought by grief. Through doing a search late one night and finding this site. Not sure of where I was when I first came here and started lighting candles and very unaware of the many that were there to help me along my path of "Grief and Loss". I had suffered a loss in the past, but none was like the loss I had suffered now. The loss of a child, my son. Grief to be worked through many days, turned years and unending sleepless nights and weeks. My Faith had never left me, it was my Hope. But the feeling of weakness and being weary had begun to show it's wear.
Coming into the forum and learning of the wonder, once I had come through that door, I had no clue. At first I didn't think I would return, I would only come to light candles and pray alone. There was nothing that could be done or said to further me along this thing called grief. The moderator Edda had welcomed me most graciously every time as others did.They offerred their prayers for my son and healing for me. I began to see life's other many challenging heartaches, crosses that other's were to carry, I began to pray and ask for healing for them, I would feel their pain. I prayed and lit candles. Slowly after time, my burden began to ease. Why? I had prayed for many years. Was it because in time, I had worked through? No it was because of the many prayers and candles that had been lit for my son and for me, his Mom. Prayers asking God to relieve and heal some of this pain, a pain that was excruciating. God was there to answer the prayers of the many that had stepped over to my path, unselfishly, giving of themselves, carrying their own crosses, and reached over to help carry my burden. A burden I had been down on my knees carrying emotionally, when I first came through the door, and wanting to do it as I had been doing before locked in grief. Going through the daily motions of the day and the resonsibilities of caring for my family and loving them and nurturing my infant daughter. Hiding the pain and holding back the tears and saying it was going to be alright. Praying for God to help me through this way of life I was not familiar with. Everything was different, my son who was my life was gone, I could not recognize myself or my life and where and how do I go? Prayers were answered. Hope was not lost, most importantly God had walked with me leading the Angels at my side.
The Power of Prayer is amazing and God is there for us, or whatever be the name you call your Maker by. Believing, together all of us can be Angels to others. Gratefulness is more than a candle lighting site, looking at the number count of the candles burning and the many countries. There has been as many as 235 countries that I have seen all brought together as one.
Amazing, the prayers for those worldwide, people helping people. A reaching out of people among the chaos of the modern day world. Angels that have been sent to help others. Praying for their loved ones and friends, for strangers or those we have heard of suffering in tragedies, through the news media.
 
The door has not closed nor do I want it to. There is more to this forum than people writing threads.
There are Angels in the form of people holding others up in Prayer for many requests and requests not ever asked for, though they may be needed.
 
Galatians 6:2
"Bear one another's burdens and in this way you will fulfill The Law of Christ".
 
My gratitude cannot be put in a thread, or by a couple of keystrokes. My Gratitude for those Angels here in the forum, or Angels futher stretching across the world is a part of my heart and my healing, a once very heavy heart, with a "Small" part that has been healed. The sun has started to show itself over the horizon. Thank you to those Angels worldwide and in the forum. I have read your candle requests in my candle group and have felt the benefit of your prayers. My heart will forever remain with a piece that is missing, a piece that cannot ever be replaced. God has been here as he is always, everywhere. I have expressed my Gratitude, I am Grateful.
I am also Grateful for many others that have helped me along this very dark journey and have been the candle and the light to lead me along the way in my personal life.
 
When starting this thread, I have used my son's name, Seneca. A name that is very important to hear me say, and see, to ease some of my pain, to feel he was with me.
 
I have started another thread, "Laughter and the Positive Effects". Though laughing has not been a part of life for many years, it is something that is part of all of our human makeup, watching the small children, our next generation laughing. Something we are gifted with at birth, laughter. The small children to be the next generation of Angels to others in need, by the Grace of God or by your Maker.
 
I have requested to use my name, Marie as my threadname, my user name.
I have been brought here by Our Lord, and walked through this door, at the time it was thought that I was brought here by a keystroke. There are no coincidences of finding my way here, I can see that now. Grieving does not just go away. It is a pinful, hard, diffucult process and must be worked through. Much of mine had been repressed. At a time of raising an infant, my daughter who was a reason to get me up in the morning as I have said in my first posting of this thread.
Thank you for helping me, a lost Mother, one that needed Spiritual healing and a hand through this awful thing called Grief.
 
I am forever Grateful.
 
Marie
 
 
 
 
Helping one another 

Dear Marie,
Thank you so much for sharing this. You may not know how much you are helping me and others with what you have said. I agree with you: This website is a door through which we may enter to find healing and peace. I am reminded of what Richard Rohr says on a cassette to which I have been listening over and over again, and which keeps changing my thinking. This is roughly what he says: We always want to get rid of pain and suffering. But Christian faith proclaims the message of the cross, without always saying what is meant by it. Richard Rohr calls it "the ultimate holy space", where one is suspended between two extremes, hanging in between. This is where personal transformation takes place - not some time in the future, but in the "now".

I consider his thoughts so enlightening that I have tried to share them in spite of certain problems with expressing them. Maybe someone can help.

Love, Juliana
_____________________________
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict

Thank you so much for sharing Marie. I know there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. Bless you and Angel Seneca for being such a help to me. Love Lynn xo

DREAM WITH YOUR HEART!!

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Love is the only way

Thank you for your generous words, Marie, and for sharing your journey with us. I think everyone would agree that it is a privilege to be allowed to support another along the way.
 
May your continued journey be richly blessed,
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Juliana, Lynn, Jude and Edda, and others here, thank you for the support and listening to some of my lengthy threads. Generally, I am a quieter soft spoken person. Your kind words and new perspectives have helped very much and are appreciated. The Angels that have hearts so big.
I do not want to use all the memory up in the system so I will try to keep my postings briefer.
 
Julianna I would be very interested in getting a cassette or a CD of Richard Rohr and hearing of his thoughts. I will look into finding it. Thank you for sharing this. Personal transformation can be confusing when you are there.
 
Thank you
God Bless
Marie

Marie, go to   www.cacradicalgrace.org  and click on Mustard Seed Resource Center. You'll find an abundance of material there!
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

Hello Edda thank you for the resource. It has been sleeting here with quite a bit of ice for the past hour or so. Be careful if you are going out.
 
Take care
Marie