No... I don't want anything nuked... or nobled...

This goes far beyond the game...

If... you believe in the power of prayer...

I am requesting your prayers...

Some of you know this... For some this may be new...

About 5 years ago... I was told I had cancer... I was very suicidal back then and I ignored it... a year later... so sick... I went to the doctor... was told I had a year to live... well... I outlived all there predictions...

Things over the last few months have gotten worst... the radiation reduced but did not eliminate the cancer... I kinda hit a dead end...

A referral has allowed me to go to a special treatment center this week... They specialize in critical cases... I arrive there on Tuesday... They will draw lots of blood... On Wednesday... they will run lots of test... Thursday is a waiting... panic day... and Friday is D-Day... I will return on Saturday... Unless they want me to stay for surgery... or some other reason... if that happens... I may be gone for upwards of 3 weeks... and who knows from there...

I will bring my laptop... and wireless connection... and get on when I can... But who knows what will happen...

So... if you believe in the power of prayer... pray... or do whatever you believe in... to your understanding of miracles and hope...

Thanks... I want to say this has been fun... and that I will be back... and the news will be great... but I am so filled with fear I have little hope... and I am really struggling with this... add this to my Bi-Polar... and Self-Harm... Well I'm a mess...

So I won't say good-bye... I will say... I will talk to you again tomorrow...

Love...

Tariki...

Dear Tariki . . .
Your story is heartbreaking,
what I can grasp of it . . .
You will surely be in my thoughts and prayers
as you go through this treatment process.
I do believe in the power of prayer,
and you will find that many other people who visit this site
believe in it too.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing
with love and compassion . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Dear Tariki hello I have not met you before....
 
I will pary to Jesus for healing for you,you are going through so much
 
and I hope for a miracle for you too.
 
I can't take your fear away I'm sorry but please know I will keep a candle
 
burning of you and I pray you get peace of mind so soon.
 
Your right not to say goodbye as it's not goodbye it's just a see you very
 
soon.
 
Take good care,Sandraxxxxx
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dear Tarika,
My heart goes out to you. I will certainly pray and light a candle for you.
 
Yes, do please keep in touch, and don't stop hoping!
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Tarika, while I was lighting your candle in the 'All' group, this came into my mind, so I thought I would share it with you.
 
"Be realistic......plan for a miracle."
'Osho'
 
On the candle I wrote "be optimistic", but it should be "realistic"
 
Jude

Love is the only way

ORIGINAL: buttington

Tarika, while I was lighting your candle in the 'All' group, this came into my mind, so I thought I would share it with you.

"Be realistic......plan for a miracle."
'Osho'

On the candle I wrote "be optimistic", but it should be "realistic"

Jude

 
OSHO is my favorite teacher... as the Bagwan Shree Rajneesh... He gave me my name... Prema Nishanto... Prema... means love... Nishanto... means coming out of darkness... He told me... that Love... would come out of my darkness... later... the name Tariki was added... Tariki... is the buddhist word meaning "other power" opposed to the buddhist word... jariki... self-power... So... There will be Love... coming out of darkness... as I rely on the other power... the unknown...
 
Your words made me cry.... and reminded me of the teaching in the Kabbalah... in the Book of Letters... That G-d... Counts the tears of women... Why... Because women are more sensitive... therefore they cry more... But G-d saves those tears... and in the end of days... will use those tears to bring healing to the world...... Thanks...

Dare to Dream...

(((((hugs))))) and i place you prayerfully within my heart.

with love.....

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Dear Tarika,
And so.....the linking of hearts! 
 
Wishing you Healing on a deep level.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Tarika, welcome to the forum! My heart goes out to you as I read your story. Your fear is so very understandable, especially since uncerainty is so difficult to cope with. This is a good place to return to and share your concerns, fears and hopes. As you already can see from the previous posts, there are many ready to reach out to you and hold you in their hearts.
 
I'll keep you in my prayers and will light a candle for you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Tariki,
 
Although I have never met you and I know nothing more than what you've posted on this site I pray this. I pray that G-d heal you and comfort you in your time of need.
 
What you are living thru makes us reflect on how human we are and how thankful we should all be for the life we have been given. 
 
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Another sleepless night... In the morning I meet with my personal doctor and get the news... Good... Bad... or Ugly...

I am terrified... I mean that... You have... (and maybe you do)... have no idea the terror that fills my heart and mind...

I found this site a long time ago...

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng...

Would you do something silly for me... and light a candle for healing...

When it says selective group... Place in the PTN group...

Thanks...

Tariki...

 
Its so nice to see friends respond... It has been uplifting...
 
The news was awful... and I just am not sure how to speak the words yet...
 
will update later...

Dare to Dream...

Dear Tariki,
 
I have just lit another candle for you in the group you asked for.
 
with Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Tarika,
 
I'll light another candle for you in the group you named.
I am so very sorry that you feel so badly. I wish i could put my arms around you, but it will  have to be long-distance.
 
Much love and warm (((hugs))),
Edda

Peace and joy!

Tarika, Dear, I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling. I pray that you have family around to support and assist you, to laugh with you and to cry with you. Although this forum family is scattered worldwide, you know that you have our love, support and prayers. Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. Prayers go out that the Divine fully, tenderly enfold you in the miracle that you most need at this time.

I pray that you will be able to find a way to put into words the awful news, since “sorrow shared is divided.” You have been tucked into the “kitchen table candle” which burns 24/7. May you be imbued with peace, tranquiliy and hope and may gentle healing tenderly enfold you.
Gentle hugs and whispered prayers

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

ORIGINAL: insideiamdying

ORIGINAL: buttington

Tarika, while I was lighting your candle in the 'All' group, this came into my mind, so I thought I would share it with you.

"Be realistic......plan for a miracle."
'Osho'

On the candle I wrote "be optimistic", but it should be "realistic"

Jude

OSHO is my favorite teacher... as the Bagwan Shree Rajneesh... He gave me my name... Prema Nishanto... Prema... means love... Nishanto... means coming out of darkness... He told me... that Love... would come out of my darkness... later... the name Tariki was added... Tariki... is the buddhist word meaning "other power" opposed to the buddhist word... jariki... self-power... So... There will be Love... coming out of darkness... as I rely on the other power... the unknown...

Your words made me cry.... and reminded me of the teaching in the Kabbalah... in the Book of Letters... That G-d... Counts the tears of women... Why... Because women are more sensitive... therefore they cry more... But G-d saves those tears... and in the end of days... will use those tears to bring healing to the world...... Thanks...

 
I will say prayers for your healing, and that God may give you rest from worry, calmness for you, strength to hear what the doctors say,  wisdom and compassion for the doctors to explain to you the course of treatment for healing, and that you will take his hand, trust him and know he is in control. Your Heavenly Father loves you very much, I ask all this in Jesus name, Amen
I found this song for you based on the name you were given, may you sing it all during the week:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVNPZxPRmHc

The Gift of Austin
http://www.totsites.com/tot/babyaustinajr
WLAP, Austin's mommy
http://www.musicalcreations.biz/samples.html

I think I do have an idea . . .

You have... (and maybe you do)... have no idea the terror that fills my heart and mind...

Please know dear Tariki . . .
that you are most surely not alone.
You are embarking on perhaps the most important journey of your life
and it is essential for you to honour your feelings.
There is no good and no bad here . . .
even the fear can guide you into a place of love and healing.
Blessings of light and wisdom and courage dear Tariki . . .
I join the others and light a candle of hope for you,
and pray that this opportunity
opens up a new world of grace and healing . . .
holding you tenderly in my heart
with much love . . .
sparrow
 

everything counts... ♥

Cancer

It eats through your body and soul.
It does not matter who you are.
It takes you completely as a whole.
Leaving behind a scar.

It attacks in many different ways,
Slowly taking over your life.
Unbeknownst it takes over day by day.
Soon you start to feel the strife.

It is evil by its own name,
Attacking no matter what the age.
Child or adult we are all the same.
It sets everyone on a rage.

Sometimes it gives us signs,
Other times it is silent.
It has its own design,
Working in a manner so diligent.

Cancer is its name so clear,
This is a good name for this evil.
Just the mention of it brings fear.
Leaves everyone in an upheaval.

The doctors work so desperately,
Trying to save each and every life they see.
It can be a loss and life is crushed so deeply,
Other times it is a success and we all agree.

For those of us who have survived,
We hold on to the precious times,
And those who could not be revived,
Family and friends remember pastimes.

Research is needed to find a cure.
Give generously when you are asked to.
It may be you who will have to endure.
Then you will wish others care to give too.

Dare to Dream...

It sets everyone on a rage.

 
Dear Tariki,
Thank you for this very meaningful poem.
 
The rage is so important, because it affirms life and encourages the healing.
 
Wishing you hope and healing,
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Tariki,
 
Poems sometimes can speak to us so much,your words fill me with sadness but also with hope for you.
 
I really hope your news will be good for you I do.
 
Take care,Sandraxx

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Hi Everyone...
 
Basically I was put on some of the newest cancer drugs available... and started a new round of Chemo... The drugs really kick my a**... the Chemo is old hack...
 
The only real benefit of Chemo... as far as I'm concerned... and its lame... is hair loss... I lose it... EVERYWHERE... So... I don't need to even shave my legs... and I love my wigs...
 
But... bottom line... He said if this does not work... seeing a new year... odds are... slim to none... I was really angry... and told the doctor... who is a friend... I would pi** on his grave in 30 years... He smiled and said... He would be honored...
 
So... thats it... guess... I proved them wrong once... why not twice...
 
Silly movie... Space Quest... The motto... Never Give Up... Never Surrender...
 
and as the Marines taught me... I will go down fighting...
 
Hugs to all...
 
Tariki...
 
 

Dare to Dream...

Dearest Tariki.
 
Thank you for sharing with us what has been happening to you! I am so very sorry that the news is not better!
I can well imagine that the doctor's words made you angry. Anger is a good starting point to get your fighting spirit going, and it seems it has done its work! Your positive attitude is so very important and helpful! I am sure your doctor would be happy to be proven wrong! Do I detect a subtle sense of humor in your remarks about hair loss? Wouldn't it be nice though if it was more selective?
 
Please, let us know how you are doing. You can feel safe here to share your feelings whatever they are. We are rooting for you!
 
I am with you in my prayers and will keep a candle burning for you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Tariki,
 
I like Betty am very sorry that your news is not better.
 
Tariki you are right you proved them wrong once and you WILL do it a second time I am sure.
 
I did smile when at your funny sense of humour this and prayes will get you through this ,it will.
 
Take care ,thinking of you,Sandraxxxx

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dear Tariki,
I am so happy to hear your anger. Use it to fight the cancer.
 
Prove the doctors wrong........they should never say 'how long' Some people obey their doctor's every word!
 
I love your attitude to your wigs.
 
I can almost feel your love of life
 
I really hope you get to act out your prediction.
 
With Love and prayers for your Healing,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Tariki . . .
You honour your life with both your anger
and your sense of humour . . .
and I think I detect a heart full of love.
A positive attitude is also one of the best tools in your arsenal I think.
You can become a postive force in your own life,
and I think you are well on your way.
It sounds as if you are no stranger to this cancer,
so you are already blessed with knowledge.
I will keep a candle burning for you here
and also on my kitchen table
with much love and much compassion,
and with much prayer for you . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

I'm praying for you.  And will light a candle.  And I will hold you prayerfully in my heart.

with love....

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Hello Tariki,
 
I just now found this topic and wanted to tell you that I am sorry for what you have to go through. I know having bipolar disorder makes things more challenging to deal with because I have it myself. I will light a candle for you in a minute and wanted to offer you my support and understanding. Take it one day at a time but dare to dream of your future which could very well be better than you might imagine. I am glad to see your sense of humor about shaving your legs (such a fun chore for us ladies). Hold on tightly to your sense of humor, it lets you know you are alive and that you can find something to smile about, if only on the inside.
 
If you dont find time or energy to post replies dont worry about that. i will still keep you lifted with warm thoughts and caring prayers. and dont forget the word that is one of the most important words I have found in my life - BELIEVE
 
~K

integrity is shown when no one is looking

and dont forget the word that is one of the most important words I have found in my life - BELIEVE

 
So true Karen, so true.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

OSHO is my favorite teacher... as the Bagwan Shree Rajneesh... He gave me my name... Prema Nishanto... Prema... means love... Nishanto... means coming out of darkness... He told me... that Love... would come out of my darkness... later... the name Tariki was added... Tariki... is the buddhist word meaning "other power" opposed to the buddhist word... jariki... self-power... So... There will be Love... coming out of darkness... as I rely on the other power... the unknown...

Your words made me cry.... and reminded me of the teaching in the Kabbalah... in the Book of Letters... That G-d... Counts the tears of women... Why... Because women are more sensitive... therefore they cry more... But G-d saves those tears... and in the end of days... will use those tears to bring healing to the world...... Thanks...

Beautiful name you have been given Tanki!
 
I also am thankful you have shared this ...will use those tears to bring healing to the world.  God uses everything....God never fails!
 
I have lit a candle for you today!
 
We have a great thread called laughter and gratitude you should check it out if you can.  Laughter helps.....
 
So sorry you are going through this and know we are all here for you.
My heart goes out to you today.
 
May God's healing love and light surround you forever and ever.
 
 
Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Hi Everyone...
 
Well the new medication has started... and it really is a body beater...
 
and the Chemo... well... I have never met anyone who enjoyed the experience...
 
and I suppose I never will...
 
Can't say for sure if its doing any good yet... it will 4 straight weeks of treatment... followed by a week off...
 
I will update as soon as they tell me something...
 
All my Love...
 
Tariki...

Dare to Dream...

Dear Tariki
I just found this thread and have read both pages.  I am deeply sorry you are having to deal with this daunting ordeal.  And yes, sometimes anger can be used as a great ally.  Glad to have read also your words of humor. 
 
Your name is beautiful. It sounds like the teacher who gave it to you was in recognition and respect of your power to transform and heal.  Altnough sometimes we cannot judge what form transformation and healing take.
 
I would be honored to light a candle for you in the PTN group.  I am sending prayers for great healing.  with love, light and angels, liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Dear Tariki,
I will light a candle for you that your treatment will go smoothly with few side-effects.
 
Blessings of Healing,
Jude

Love is the only way

(((((hugs))))) keep updating us.
 
love you,
kriann

[image]http://img185.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bcandle3fq9.gif[image]

Thanks for the update, Tarika!
 
May thoughts of healing surround you.
 
Love, Peace and Joy,
Diane
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Dear Tariki,
 
Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. I hope and pray that the chemotherapy will bring the desired result.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

  TARIKA, I'M SORRY THAT YOUR NEW WAS NOT GOOD. PLEASE KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE FOR YOU AND THAT IF YOU NEED US FEEL FREE TO LET US KNOW. I HAVE ALREADY LIT A CANDLE FOR YOU. PLEASE ALSO KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.

Dear Tarika . . .
You are surely in my thoughts and prayers
as you go through this course of treatment . . .
A candle is lit for you,
and I send you all the good, loving energy that I can
with love and with compassion . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Tarika
you are in my thoughts and prayers.  I am lighting another candle for you.  Asking the angels to help you through the chemo ordeal and healing.  Sending love light, prayer and angels, liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Dear Tarika,
thinking of you as you go through the treatment.
 
Love, prayers and candles,
 
Jude

Love is the only way

I read this just now, and I am very sad...
May this human be here, to can ..
I don´t know, what to say, but it makes me heartache, to do not know, how she/he is at the time.
 
is.

If you want to know something about someone, listen to your heart.

Dearest Tariki
 
I just noticed today is your birthday.I hope your special day has given you many hours of sunshine.
 
My heart goes out to you reading this post  and reading your forum name. I just feel like hugging you with all of my might.
 
I will light a candle and include you in my daily prayers.
 
Take care of yourself xxxx
 

 
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥