And I am grateful that God trusted I was going to be the best Mom for Robby for the 33 years he was here. The least I can do is trust Him.

 
Lynn......that's perfect. I can't even comment on it.
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Lynn, Your comment as Jude says "is Perfect". Blessings that you have been so very open to feeling what needs to be felt
and to allowing God to heal you in spite of it all. Joya, dear, what Edda brought up in another thread is so very true. Often
miscarriage is because of malformation. Why does this happen, who is to blame?? With all the chemicals, pollution, carcinogens etc., in our air, water, foods, how can we blame God for what society has done to the planet He created? When I was a hospital chaplain, so often there would be 10, 14, 18 year olds dying with extremely rare forms of cancer when there was no history of cancer in their families. As so many have said, the children you have now need their mother and the greatest gift you can give them and yourself is to allow yourself to heal physically and give your body time to build up again. Any pregnancy takes an awful lot from the woman to nourish the life in the womb. Please, take care of yourself and give youself time to heal both emotionally and especially physically.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Sparrow, how fortunate you are to have seen the grace of this deepest truth.  And it truely is a grace to see this as you do. 

Lynn I do not know what more to say other than what Jude and Betty said. Perefct.  Thank you.

Joya, it does take so much time to come to the understandings that Sparrow and Lynn write of.  One must be in, go through, the grief to come to the understanding.  You are held by many arms here.  Held in the hearts of many.  I do agree with Edda and Betty.  This was not about anything you did wrong.  I believe that someday you too will know this, Joya. 

I am lighting another candle.  Just know your babies are truely okay.  Grieving the loss is natural.  Nothing was your fault. And they are okay.  As Betty has said, I too ask you to give your body, as well as spirit and soul, time to heal.  You have been through a great deal. Your body needs time to heal.  Really heal.  I am sending love and light, liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

ORIGINAL: lilsparrow

You know . . .
reading these posts, Juliana, Joya, Sandra, Buba, and Isabella  . . .
and others like me who have lost children
(and others in fact, whom we have loved) . . .
looking into the picture of the lit candles in the dark,
hearing the words of comfort and love
from Jude, liliwings, Edda and Karen . . .
it occurs to me that as a ship is lost to sight from shore,
like these children are lost to us,
there is another shore to which they have been greeted,
and they are not truly lost at all,
but have done what they came here to do
and have moved on
not without love
but without fear.
 
We don't understand this perhaps
because we still see death as the bogeyman.
I am learning that death is just a door into rebirth . . .
I hope I do not hurt with these words,
and they are relatively new to my tongue as well.
It is hard to stomach when we are so emotionally attached
and do not want to let them go . . .
but go they must,
as must we someday as well,
and I think that in the end,
it will not be so scary after all
with love . . .
sparrow

 
that really is a beautiful way to look at things. I appreciate this post as it is the time of year I lost my dad. Losing anyone to the "other side" is very hard, but the way you put it Sparrow makes me feel better about the whole thing.
 
thanks for your thoughtful post.
 
with love and a hug, karen

integrity is shown when no one is looking

Dear Joya,
 
I hope by the time you read this that you are feeling just a tiny bit more strong. I did not say better, but stronger. You will have a tough time dealing with all this, but you are a resilient person, I know that from talking to you. Life is hard sometimes but we can all be like a tree, strong but yet able to bend when the storms of life blow. We can do this without breaking most of the time. Yes it is so extremely difficult, but we can survive and learn to cope. I pray for you everyday Joya that you will gain a foothold in what you still have to do, with your family and your life. Just put one foot in front of the other for awhile. if that is all you can do. It will hopefully become a little bit easier over time.
 
WIth Much Love and Hope for You,
Karen

integrity is shown when no one is looking

To Karen, Lilwings, Sparrow,Edda, Lynn, Imenuff, Jude, Buba, Juliana & Sandra, thanks so much for your contiued support with the thoughtful words and candles. Especially while I was out of town. They have meant so very much. I don't think that you will ever know how much! Last week was very hectic and hard for me. I did stay real busy with all the kids and my mom needing help as well. I guess though even staying busy though I was very tired might have been a good thing for me. As I am back now to be honest I am physically and emotionally drained. I think everything hit me like a ton of bricks when I got back. I still can't believe that only 3 weeks ago I lost my 3rd angel baby. It is so very hard to accept. I don't think that I ever will. With your help though maybe somehow I will be able to get through each and every day one step at a time. The kids have not been as upset when they talk about the baby so I think that they have now tried to accept what has happend. My hubby and I have had many talks with them about the baby though and have told them that it is ok to be upset and to talk about their feelings. We have also told them that we don't want them to ever forget their angel brother or sister. (Which I am sure they won't) My hubby lost a brother that was stillborn and he told the kids how he always still thought of his brother and wondered what his brother would be like today. The thought my baby being deformed or not being able to be compatable to life did cross my mind as that is what the doctor had told me that sometimes that is what happens. I guess you just never think that that can happen to you. I guess as a mom though I have made myself for some reason think that there might have been something I could have done to prevent my babies deaths. I have told my hubby though that it has been hard as I have had many people tell me that I have not taken my last babies death easy. I told my hubby that everyone deals with grief differently and how am I suppose to take it. To know that I will NEVER hold my babies on earth again or see them reach any milestone is more than I can take right now. I guess in the future I will learn that I will have to accept this as well. Thanks again for all your love, thoughtful words and your lighting candles for me and my family.  

Dear Joya,

Sending you love and light....

Its good to hear the kids are doing better now. I hope each day finds you in God's arms during your grief. You are so right that each person handles their grief differently. DO remember dear it was not your fault in anyway. Bless your heart!

Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Dear Joya,
 
You are in my heart and prayers! Thank you for sharing with us how you are doing. Grieving and healing take a long time. I am glad your children are doing well. They need you! I hope you are getting some rest!
 
I am keeping a candle lit for you!
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Joya,
Thank you for sharing with us how you are, and I'm glad the children are coping better now. It's great that you and your hubby talk so openly with them.
 
As Edda says, I hope you are getting plenty of rest.
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear, dear Joya . . .
I am happy to hear that you are home now,
and have an opportunity
(I hope)
to get some much-needed rest.
When we do not have the rest we need
it affects our thinking very much . . .
rest will help you as you work your way through grieving,
and will also make a difference in how you are able to help your children
through their grieving as well
with much love . . .
sparrow
♥

everything counts... ♥

Dear mamaluvskids:  Joya  name that brings a smile
 
I wanted to post after reading your shared story only everything i wrote i erased, I remembered how it wasn't what I wanted to read or hear after it happened to me.  I know each experience is unique and I just hope the poem I post will bring you some comfort.  I still have a hard time when I think back, a part of me blocks that,  what I will share is  I was Pregnant at the same time my niece was, we were both due at the same time within a couple of days only that at 13 weeks  for me the journey turned to devasting sorrow, she went on and was blessed with a healthy baby Boy, March 8th-  I couldn't and wouldn't go to the baby shower or visit at the hospital, it was just to poinful, call it running and hiding, call it cowardness, I just asked for understanding as I tried to deal with this especially when you have gone through 3 Blessed Gifts of pregnancy , and then with out trying, without thinking about wanting to or not wanting to, I learned I was Gifted again, this time i kept the news until i couldn't keep the news,  this time was to be a baby boy, this time he would be November and what a Truly Wonderful Gift from God.  This time my same niece was pregnant again only she was due in March again 4 months after, either way now I don't go
around when she brings the boys to family gatherings as each one of hers are the same age as mine would be on Earth.
 
Here is the poem:  Written by a very Dear Person  J Sherman
 
 
How do I say Good bye
 
 
How do I say Good Bye
When everything’s wrong in my eyes
When what’s happening shouldn’t be
When living is killing me
 
How can I say Good Bye
When I should be going first
When I’ll never understand why
Of all pain this is the worst
 
How can I say Good Bye
When I couldn’t say it face to face
Why would I say good bye
When I wish I could take his place
 
When you can’t let go
Can’t take it back
Won’t give in to the pain
But the road ahead seems black
 
My heart hasn’t beaten since then
My breathing is forced and strained
My life has been robbed from me
Myself I can’t stop to blame
 
I’m sorry God but “why” I’ll keep asking
Though you said I’ll not understand
Your Promise I must hold tight to
My Life and my Baby are in your Hands
 
I know God, you will unite us again
I believe this future to be true
And then till eternity and beyond
We’ll be together me my Baby and You
 
Good Bye needs not be said
That’s why it feels so wrong
So I’ll live from day to day
And say “See You Later” instead
 
My Tears will keep on falling
My Heart may never really beat
The emptiness will not be filled
Cause I miss my Baby so Sweet
 
But others also need me
And I too need them
Together we’ll all get through this
Till together we ALL are again.
 
In Loving Memory of Austin Jacob Grant Roth
11-02-20006 ~ 07-29-2008
 
JRS
 
I hold on to many lines of this poem to take anothe step forward and all i can offer is a Prayer of comfort and grace for you and your family, I can offer a suggestion to journal your thoughts, sometimes you may want to shred the paper after you have written it, I caution you on that one, and you may want to plant a Tree or a Rose bush at this time and watch it grow commemerating each year as tribute to your Beautiful Little One,
Last but not least I offer a Boy Dedication that is inscribed on an Angel holding up a baby:
"I prayed for this child and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me.
Now, I dedicate him to the Lord. He will belong to the Lord all his life."
                                      Samuel 1:27-28
 
With Love and Prayers ♥♥♥
One Day-- SOMEDAY

The Gift of Austin
http://www.totsites.com/tot/babyaustinajr
WLAP, Austin's mommy
http://www.musicalcreations.biz/samples.html

I am still praying for you daily that things will slowly but surely get easier to deal with over time. Not that you would forget. but perhaps that the thoughts that are negative would gradually slip from your forethoughts into the back of your mind. But the love with always be foremost in your heart. Always.

I love you,
Hugs,
~K

integrity is shown when no one is looking

Good Bye needs not be said
That’s why it feels so wrong
So I’ll live from day to day
And say “See You Later” instead

Just perfect dear Xanadue,perfect...
 
♥
 
 
 
 
Dear Joya children are so open with their feelings this is one of the many beautiful things about children. I can see by what you say they are indeed moving gently forward and this is what we all would wish for,for the children and you us time .Your love for all your children will indeed stay with you for eternity as we both know.
 
♥
 
 
Joya when I read compatable to life ,sadly for my own little Louis this is what he did not have.For me I would have loved him then whatever the outcome of his disabilty ,but Joya now if I am really really honest I know my darling little boy would have suffered so much and maybe this is selfish but I am not sure if I could have coped seeing him suffer not at all.As parents we would rather suffer than our child so now I know for me maybe if I am true to myself it was for Louis such a blessing to pass on.
 
Life is hard at times Joya but for me I have been blessed in so many ways I really have..as we all have..

♥

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Sorry now I can not edit the post aboveI did not mean to belittle my child not ever.I hope this did not upset anyone it's just me being open about me no one else they are my feelings toward my family.Love is after all the most powerful thing...
 
♥

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Xanadue,
 
The poem is perfect. Such wisdom in your words today.
 
Sandra,
 
Your honest feelings are always welcome. And you're sensitivity and compassion shows through in your words and actions here.
 
Joya,
 
May each day be blessed with loving kindness for you as you heal within in your own unique way.
 
God Bless You,
Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

I did not mean to belittle my child not ever.

Dear Sandra, you have in NO way belittled your little child. What you have discovered is called LOVE ♥
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Sandra . . .
sometimes indeed it is a blessing
to die out of suffering
and into light.
There is nothing wrong in thinking this
with love . . .
sparrow
♥

everything counts... ♥

sometimes indeed it is a blessing
to die out of suffering
and into light.

 
Dear Sandra,
I agree with Sparrow...
unfortunately it is truth....
 
Buba,Goran's mom

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others." Pericles

What you have discovered is called LOVE ♥

 
Wow...Sandra!!!

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

I will pray for you and I am so sorry for your loss. I am so happy you came here to share this with us.
Love and Blessings,
Rose

for Jesus