PILGRIMAGE

Peace to you Fred,
and peace to your troubled heart.
You remain in my prayers
with much love . . .
sparrow
     ♥

everything counts... ♥

Dear Fred,
Long ago, before everyone (with the exception of the upper classes and clerics,monks etc) could read and write, there was a rumour going around that too much learning and studying would be bad for you....make your eyes weak, your body weak etc. It was put about so that ordinary folk could be kept ignorant.
I had to smile at your link about this as I hadn't realized it came from the Bible.
Of course, I don't agree with it, but I think you are casting your net too wide and reading too many different viewpoints.
 
I agree with Diane, your are sounding more positive in your writing. I'm sure progress is being made. Meditation is in the Bible, even though certain Christian churches are suspicious of it. All it is is quieting the mind and listening to God, or your higher self.
 
There are many ways to God. If one way doesn't feel good to you, don't go on it. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a 'bad' way........just not for you.
 
Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Fred,
 
What a good goal for your self stopping drinking since it is in contradiction with your medications. Some people just allow one day a week for it to start the process of stopping it when you already do not do it all the time. Great Goal!
 
Cultivate peace when you are alone and isolated...it is just a small shift.
Cultivate love when you are alone and isolated...it is in this you can give yourself a precious gift each day. Cultivate joy too when you are alone and isolated...for a deep self contentment of your own deep love of your heart, mind and body.
 
Do you practice gratitude in some way?
 
I feel a beautiful enthusiam in your writing and it gives me deep joy each day.
Thank you for sharing your life here.
 
Sending you peace, love and joy always,
Diane
 
PS Lighting a candle in thankfulness of your healing progress.

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Dear friends Jude, Sparrow, Diane,
 
Not accidentally 3 women! Thanks to you all for your kindness and prayers!
It was my birthday (born 08.08.58, double lion, 8 is my number!) last Saturday and I invited some friends for a meal. I am a painter so I am also like many painters quite a good cook. The day after they called me to thank me again for my hospitality and enthusiasm. I am such a romantic, you know and I like inviting people but when everything is over I tend to have a difficult time.
I think that volunteer work (as I have done before for homeless), would be a good thing to do also. I somehow feel 'guilty' about the fact that I feel not able to do more things for others. But on the other hand as you rightly say Diane, I have to take care of myself in the first place. 
Another thing is that I am right now in a sort of intermediate stage concerning my work. I am working for the Government and have been for a long time a prevention worker in youth care. But since it was far too abstract and difficult -we worked with intermediary services and institutions like schools, youth work, ... (structural) and not with youngsters themselves (individual) -, I quit this job.
Now I am doing temporarily some administration work in youth care in the place where I live Ostend. It is below my level, so I cannot stay here. It is also very easy to do and not challenging enough.
What I notice is that in this city youth criminality, violence and drug addiction is increasing at a high rate. I was attacked 3 times by youngsters and it is really not safe anymore at night.
I wonder what is happening. On the one hand there is a lot to do about new age children (increase in consiousness), on the other hand I notice all this marginality and superficiality, at least here.
I find it not easy to bless people. Does anyone of you can tell me about experiences in this respect?
 
PAX,
Fred   

Just read this:
 

Learning to Receive

By Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat 

Many television seasons ago, one of the main characters in "Chicago Hope" had a near-death experience during surgery. While he was recovering, he confided to a friend that he had learned the secret of life. It was "giving and receiving."

Giving? Yes, we get that. But receiving the love, care, and help of others? That's more difficult for many of us. One explanation could be the reigning mythology of Western culture: It's good to stand on our own two feet and never be dependent. As Protestant preacher William Sloane Coffin once put it: "Many of us overvalue autonomy, the strength to stand alone, the capacity to act independently. Far too few of us pay attention to the virtues of dependence and interdependence, and especially the capacity to be vulnerable."
Even if we acknowledge how much we rely on others in our everyday activities, we may still hesitate to be on the receiving end when we are in trouble. We do not want to be a burden, we say. We can take care of ourselves. This attitude means that often the weakest and neediest among us don't ask for help or resist it when it is offered.
This philosophy comes across in A Home of Our Own, a 1993 film starring Kathy Bates as Frances, a strong-willed single mother of six. After leaving California, they settle down in a shack on a hill in Idaho. Instead of paying rent, the kids do chores for the landlord. Frances works at a bowling alley as a waitress. A priest from the Catholic church offers the family clothes and other items they desperately need, but Frances refuses. This stubbornness draws out the ire of her eldest son who resents being the man of the house. It takes a family tragedy to open Frances' eyes to the fact that it's no sin to accept help. The message of this movie is that receiving graciously is as important as giving.
Our reluctance to freely receive affects our relationships with others and limits our openness to God's grace. Getting better at receiving, then, is an important intention of spiritual practice. Here are a few ways to do this:
• Make a practice of consciously acknowledging your vulnerability and dependence upon others. For example, think about all the service providers who make it possible for us to ride in elevators, make phone calls, read a book at night in a lighted room, and have food or supplies delivered. Too often, we take this support for granted.
• During a meal, choose one food item and try to list all the people who helped bring it to your table — the farmers, truckers, store managers, package makers, and even those who created the map that facilitated its movement from one place to your table. When you say grace, include a blessing for all those you depend on.
• Make a habit of acknowledging one free gift you have received at the end of each day. Then thank God for the presence in your life of the bearer of the gift.
• Take compliments and words of encouragement — gracefully. Resist any temptation to downplay or minimize positive things people say about you with phrases like "Oh, it was nothing." Think about what it says to others and to God if you are always insisting that you are unworthy of their love

http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/
 
!!!
 
Fred

Gosh Fred, that is such an interesting question!
 
And is quite deep to me as I have had times when blessings just flow miraculousy out of me and I have amazing day or week or even longer often enough. Although sometimes I have too struggled with listening to my spirit in this area and of course I would say simply I am off center with my true spirit at these times. It is my paying attention to something else and not being in awareness most often of as I am walking through my days activity. Sometimes it is a deep contemplation of an issue or difficulty too.  I will say that when I focus on blessing others I see and may not even meet directly I have experienced an undescribable goodness inside of me and all others too.
And sometimes it is in the actual practise and focus in my daily prayer too that effects my wellness in blessing others as I go out of my home. Gosh it is hard to put to words some of these experiences that just seem to happen of their own making...the power of prayer! The grace of God! It is often a mystery to me! I do notice gratitude is amazing and life changing in so many ways. It is contagious like Mother Teresa was in her joy is contagious! In some mysterious beautiful flowing way!
 
I'd say practise blessing others no matter what it feels like....and make it point to do it as much as you can consciously do. A simple God bless you...or bless you from your heart to each person you meet or see or think about. Let me/us know what happens...if you'd like to share it!
 
I think your work is especially powerful...our youth needs blessings indeed!
 
Since I have four kids from 27 to 16 and know at times they can be a handful and we can often lose sight at times how much we are really blessed by them each day. I often liken it to keep the hand there and the words there and the offerings out and in the open. I am glad now that I have older ones that grew up and those teeange year difficulties are in the past and things are good now thankfully. Those testing their limits can get very trying for parents and those working with teens. There really are many very focused young kids on track and really helping each other. And yes there are some that are caught in many places that are not so healthy for them and we all need to do something all the time for them be it in small ways or large. Sometimes I get discouraged as it often feels like you can bring a horse to water but can not make him drink. But overall I have seen most of my sons friends grow up and get their lives in order.
Which is such a good thing to have as an experience within me and all of them too. They really seem to make it happen as good friends often do with each other. Even stop seeing them for awhile too. Well sorry to go off your specific question. It just makes me smile to think of those that were in an unhealthy state then to see them well again!  
 
Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Wow...I just finished my post to you and there were two more post up from you!
 
A wonderful post might I add!
 
While he was recovering, he confided to a friend that he had learned the secret of life. It was "giving and receiving.""
 
Many of us overvalue autonomy, the strength to stand alone, the capacity to act independently. Far too few of us pay attention to the virtues of dependence and interdependence, and especially the capacity to be vulnerable."
 
It always seems to speak to BALANCE doesn't it?
Too much of anything instead of.....moderation...middle ground....etc.
 
I watched that movie it is so true of many and yet there too is the other way too....I remember my grandmother's story in the depression era that she refused to get benefits and when she finally did for a short time she was so humiliated and my mom and five of her brothers and sisters went to a Catholic Orphanage until they were each 18. Her and the elder brothers and sisters worked to have place for them to be and actually got jobs right away to live on their own too. I think it is looked down upon and feels shameful even when someone is in need though and nowadays so many people are into saying this as far helping others too. The sting of paying the price for choices made or some such thing. This economy has made a lot of working people be in dire straights and seek help that never have in their entire lives. So sad! I see communities having free dinners set up. I have noticed with elders/seniors this is really hard for them to receive help also. They do not want to burden anyone and if they do not have good care giver's they are often not helped until things reach severity because they automatically say they are ok! Gosh I could go on forever with instances like these. And then of course its hard to ask and then not receive too for seniors.
 
I love this one...
Our reluctance to freely receive affects our relationships with others and limits our openness to God's grace. Getting better at receiving, then, is an important intention of spiritual practice. Here are a few ways to do this:
• Make a practice of consciously acknowledging your vulnerability and dependence upon others. For example, think about all the service providers who make it possible for us to ride in elevators, make phone calls, read a book at night in a lighted room, and have food or supplies delivered. Too often, we take this support for granted.
 
In Nithyananda's book: Guaranteed Solution's  He has a gratitude practice
from the moment you were born...think about all that made your birth possible...who was there to greet you, the doctors...nurses..and all the people who made it possible for every instrument...built the hospital...etc...all your teachers, spiritual mentors...friends, family...all the way to present day.....believe me it takes hours and hours and hours, weeks...and more... to thank every person that has touched your life directly and indirectly.....and brought you to the present!
 
Thanks so much for bringing us this topic to be more aware of spiritual blessings in each and every moment! And more practises to enhance our lives and awareness levels.
 
Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Dear friends Jude, Sparrow, Diane,
 
Not accidentally 3 women!

(my first smile of the day . . . )
 

Many television seasons ago, one of the main characters in "Chicago Hope" had a near-death experience during surgery. While he was recovering, he confided to a friend that he had learned the secret of life. It was "giving and receiving."

Some days dear, dear Fred,
you make my head hurt
with all of the brain activity you experience,
but today
you bring up to me
the simple truth of love . . .
and this sings to my soul as nothing else . . .
love is giving and receiving . . .
after all is said and done,
in the final moments
it often becomes apparent.
But I want to live my whole life with this awareness~
not wait until I am on the cusp of the wave . . .
that is why I have dropped alot of the 'searching' activity,
because it is there,
it is here,
right here
already
in the heart
waiting patiently for our attention . . .

Our reluctance to freely receive affects our relationships with others and limits our openness to God's grace. Getting better at receiving, then, is an important intention of spiritual practice.

. . . and this is where I need to find balance.
I find it very easy to help others accept assistance,
but very hard to accept it myself.
 
I remember once some time ago, 
I dislocated my knee and it was very painful.
It was hard (but unavoidable)
to accept the support of two people,
who helped me limp into a hospital emergency room,
and almost impossible to allow myself to be wheeled in a wheelchair
once inside . . .
it was not until I could let go
and allow myself to be 'given to',
that I could properly receive the care I needed . . .
the memory has remained with me
to remind me
and humble me
to the precious gift of giving and receiving.
The act of giving gives a gift to both the giver and the receiver.
The act of receiving gives a gift to both as well . . .
how can we give and give,
and deny the other?
 
My mother was in no small distress
when my father was so ill . . .
my brother was driving long distances,
and spending much time helping
with doctor's appointments and grocery shopping.
She tried repeatedly to give him a little money
to at least help with the cost of gas,
but my stalwart brother rebuffed all of her attempts.
At last he saw
that he was denying my mother an opportunity of giving,
and once he began accepting money from time to time,
balance between them was restored,
and both felt the gifts held within the practice of giving and receiving.


The act of giving gives a gift to both the giver and the receiver.
The act of receiving gives a gift to both as well . . .
how can we give and give,
and deny the other?
 
And all of this is practice in gratitude
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Whaww... Sparrow, you make my heart sing...
Please more of this later!
 
And hearing you 'sing', there is something I feel very embarassed about, I don't know whether I spoke of this here before...
 
About 3 years ago, I met this woman, I call her 'devotional', 'marian', 'simple soul' (actually a member of the 'Legion of simple souls', initiated by a visionary woman here in Belgium and 'accepted' as genuine by the church), who did already so much for me with her whole heart.
Now, she went with me and my friends to France and I sometimes was so angry about her reactions, and then I felt guilty and so forth... I feel I cannot communicate with her as I wished to and so on... My friends saw this whole affair and adviced me to break all contact. Since she keeps me small and I keep her small... One neurosis feeds the other...
I noticed her fear and shame (one night I had to drive her to the hospital because of an insect bite and she (with all her sayings about providence and trust in God) was in such a panic!... Then the car broke down, we had to wait for repair in a garage and she had to go to Medjugorgje within some days... in short I didn't say 20 words when coming back (1000 km)...
 
Now, with this giving and receiving-thing and the problem I cannot say very well for myself what feels good, what is good, I have to say I miss her somehow.
I don't like co-dependency, I have not her kind of spirituality, I can not communicate with her, ... and still I miss her...
 
Three priests have adviced me to stop all contact... she is married also, but doesn't sleep with her husband...because the church says so ...it is her second marriage etc...
Unsound spirituality? Spiritual bypassing?
 
On the other hand, it is very difficult to say, she is so 'blessed' in her life, she has something special with this guardian angel and so on...
 
I had to say this in a hurry,
 
Greetings,
Fred

The act of giving gives a gift to both the giver and the receiver. The act of receiving gives a gift to both as well . . . how can we give and give, and deny the other?

 
This little gem of wisdom, received from my spiritual friend and teacher some 17 years ago now, was one of the things which literally changed my life!
 
I am seemingly the opposite to most people, in that I have found it very hard to give, and only too easy to receive. This came from a childhood belief that I never had what I needed, at least not enough of it, and I wasn't about to give any of it away!!!
 
It has been a life-long lesson for me to learn to, and to enjoy the act of giving, and what a blessing 'giving' has turned out to be! The idea that to graciously receive what is freely given, is to give the giver a gift, changed me overnight.
And a Blessing is something I can freely give without feeling I am losing anything. (a difficult mind-set to shift)
Also, Blessing someone who may have hurt me or done something to upset me, actually makes me feel I am doing something positive to improve things between us. Also, the Blessing is putting out hopes that the person will benefit and embody the qualities I am Blessing them with. Seeing the best in people.
 
"Giving and receiving are the same."
 
Dear Fred, Many Happy Returns, Mr double Lion!
 
Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

• Make a practice of consciously acknowledging your vulnerability and dependence upon others. For example, think about all the service providers who make it possible for us to ride in elevators, make phone calls, read a book at night in a lighted room, and have food or supplies delivered. Too often, we take this support for granted. • During a meal, choose one food item and try to list all the people who helped bring it to your table — the farmers, truckers, store managers, package makers, and even those who created the map that facilitated its movement from one place to your table. When you say grace, include a blessing for all those you depend on.

 
I really like this idea. It's something we would all benefit from doing more of.

Love is the only way

One neurosis feeds the other... I noticed her fear and shame (one night I had to drive her to the hospital because of an insect bite and she (with all her sayings about providence and trust in God) was in such a panic!...

none of us are immune to panic . . .
   ♥
ps. Saints do not always appear as we think they should . . .   
pps. I think God has a sense of humour . . .

everything counts... ♥

Thanks Jude for this post.
 
I am not quite sure I understand what you are saying, dear Sparrow. It is a bit enigmatic. Can you further elaborate on that one?
G. has been to me some kind of a saint indeed... 
 
PAX,
Fred

" I have to say I miss her somehow. I don't like co-dependency, I have not her kind of spirituality, I can not communicate with her, ... and still I miss her... Three priests have adviced me to stop all contact... she is married also, but doesn't sleep with her husband...because the church says so ...On the other hand, it is very difficult to say, she is so 'blessed' in her life, she has something special with this guardian angel and so on... I had to say this in a hurry, Greetings, Fred "
 
Dear Fred,
I somehow missed this post from you.
 
Far be it for me to judge someone I don't know, but this person sounds like she would prefer to be celibate?
I don't know of any church, least of all the Catholic church, which would not allow her to sleep with her husband!!!
The three priests you mention would be bound to tell you to stop seeing her as they would think it was tempting adultery.
Our feelings for people are very powerful and sometimes difficult to understand.
You do have a connection with her, but it seems to me that she doesn't want a relationship with you, or indeed with anyone. Her spiritual life is so very important to her, and doesn't seem to include a sexual relationship.
 
Having said all that, I think the main thing from your point of view, is that you cannot communicate with her. Communication is crucial. You can't have any relationship without it.
 
Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way