Dear Joe . . .
I am happy that you have some happy memories . . .
grandparents,
whether by blood or not,
are treasures
like no other.
   ♥

everything counts... ♥

I think I have reached a very important place in this journey that seems to have lasted for ever.  For the first time in months I felt a sense of real hope and optimism, and I think it's because of what I said earlier about my faith.

I have now finished the Missing Darcy Suite with a piece I have called Surrender.  That's what I find I have done, surrendered myself to the river and stopped trying to fight the torrent.  I am not giving up the battle to be a dad to my son, and I am taking positive steps in making that a reality (Family Court, etc.).

Surrender

I am hoping to have the Parenting Order from the Court by Christmas.  I want to start a tradition of having Darcy with me for Christmas.  I don't know if it will happen, but if not this year then next.  Or maybe for the day he turns six months old - 29 December.

It really is amazing to feel this inner peace, knowing that my path has been set for me, and it is as it should be.

All you have to do is stop asking Why?


____________________________________________

If I turn around I can see where I'm going, instead of where I've been


Joe

Dear Joe,
thank you for posting "Surrender" I can hear some positive and lighter parts to it that weren't there in previous pieces.
 
I think, having goals in mind, like the Christmas visits, are very important. Keep these positive images clearly in your mind.
 
Yes, asking why? is pointless, isn't it?
 
Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Joe
 
I am happy to read you have real hope and optimism this is faith I am sure..

I want to start a tradition of having Darcy with me for Christmas. I don't know if it will happen, but if not this year then next.

 
 
I think your wise to think if it does not happen this year it will the next.It is indeed something positive to aim for.I know Christmas can be a very lonley time for a lot of people who are seprated from their children. Maybe plan to see your sister as a backup for this year just incase?
 
 
 
If I turn around I can see where I'm going, instead of where I've been
 
Very true Joe....
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dear Joe,

Let me join Jude and Sandra in saying how glad I am for your having arrived at this point of your journey. I think you´ll agree with the following quote:

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.
  ~ Aeschylus

My best wishes are with you.
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

Dear Joe . . .
I am glad that you are finding a sense of inner peace
and surrender.
I believe that this will serve you well . . .
keeping you and Darcy in my heart
with love and hope . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

I am glad that you are finding a sense of inner peace and surrender.

Unfortunately, this deserted me for several days.  On Friday I started organising the material I'll need for my Family Court application, which meant I printed out all the emails and other correspondence between Julie and me, and it knocked me back almost to where I was at the worst times.  This is the first time I've looked at it all, and it was very, very saddening to first read how it was in the first few weeks, and then to trace the deterioration in my relationship with Julie.

Which has now got to her telling me that she will not even give me any information about how Darcy is going.

While I was looking for the stuff I'll need I also found copies of emails and letters Julie and I had exchanged before I came here to be with her.  The contrast between those and what we have now is as extreme as it could possibly be.

However, I'm back to at least a sense of equilibrium and calm, not quite the peace yet, but it will come. 

I've been told that applications for interim hearings in the Court close for the year on Friday, so I must quickly get some legal advice on how to proceed.  I am NOT waiting until February next year to start the action, even if it means I have to be self-represented. 

Anyway I'm back on my feet again, ready to do battle for my beautiful Darcy's right to have his dad in his life.  I can also open my heart again.

I remember reading once that the strongest blades are those which are tempered in fire and oil.  I have walked through the fire of the pain and anger of losing Darcy, and the oily darkness of the despair and sorrow.  I am stronger now than at any time in my life.  And those who thought to bring me down have simply made me stronger.  And wiser.


_______________________________________________

Striding forward, against the storm


Joe

"Anyway I'm back on my feet again, ready to do battle for my beautiful Darcy's right to have his dad in his life.  I can also open my heart again."

Dear Joe,

I am glad you are feeling like this. Thank you for sharing it. I am reminded of one of the "Beatitudes":

* Turned to the Source are those who live by breathing Unity; Their ´I can!` is included in God´s.

* Healthy are those who devotedly hold fast to the spirit of life; holding them is the cosmic Ruler of all that shines         and rises.

* Resisting corruption, possessing integrity are those whose breath forms a luminous sphere; they hear the
   universal Word and feel the earth´s power to accomplish it through their hands.

(Quoted according to Neil Douglas-Klotz, who in "Prayers of the Cosmos" recovered some of the original language, the Aramaic that Jesus spoke).

I am lighting another candle for you, with Hope and Confidence.

Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

I am stronger now than at any time in my life. And those who thought to bring me down have simply made me stronger. And wiser.

 
The best gifts,
dear Joe,
often come in the most unexpected packages.
You are in my prayers
as you move forward
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Thinking of you Joe as you prepare.
 
With Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

I am so tired of the roller coaster ride that my feelings take me on.  Friday settled and calm, the weekend down and anxious, yesterday again settled, today way down and feeling helpless.

I am now not going to see Darcy before at least February, and probably longer.  The Family Court closes its registry for applications on Friday, and I am not going to be able to get it done in time.  In any case because of the complexity of the case it is unlikely the Court would have heard it before next year.

I am going to have to represent myself at the Court.  There is a system of legal aid for people who are on a low income, but I have just too much money in the bank to qualify, and in any case they (legal aid) do not believe it is justified in spending public money in my case.  To have a lawyer represent me through the whole process would cost me $50,000-$100,000, and even just being represented in Court would cost at least $25,000.  Which I don't have.

There is a community legal service which can help me prepare applications and documents, and guide me through the process, so at least I will know I'm taking all the steps necessary.

So I now have to sit and wait.  Find a way to safely release all the feelings.  Find the space in me which is the peacefulness I had.  Have total faith in God that what is happening is necessary.  Keep my promise to Darcy that I would wait as long as necessary to be his dad.  Keep going on my journey of healing from the traumas that my life has been up till now.

I don't think I'll continue with this thread.  The story of my journey will become repetitive.  Thank you to all who have supported me through this hell.


____________________________________________________________

I will keep going as long as there is breath in my body


Joe

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.

 
Dear Joe,
I tried to respond yesterday but something didn't work. I  wanted to repeat Juliana's quote that seems to summarize where you are. You are on choppy seas and try to keep an even keel. These ups and downs are difficult but you are learning to ride them out.
You may not see Darcy for some time, but do remain open for surprises!
 
A candle is burning for you!
 
With love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Keep my promise to Darcy that I would wait as long as necessary to be his dad.

 
Dear Joe, this is what is important.....keep the sail of your ship pointing in that direction, and as Edda says, be open for surprises.
 
with Love and Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Joe

Keep my promise to Darcy that I would wait as long as necessary to be his dad

This is the most important thing you can ever do for your child.Of course you are Darcy's Dad now, but in time I hope you can be the kind of Dad you long to be...
 
You could share your love with  Darcy in a Journal then when the time is right hand it to him.
 
Many dams will be broken dear Joe but it's a fight that will allow you to be the Father you want to be...
 
all of the fighting is over
all of the battles are won
all of the words have been spoken
and you are still the only one

all of the heavens have opened
all of the rivers are run
all of the dams have been broken
you are still the only one
the only one, the only one
you are still the only one

and all of the time we have taken
all of the joy and the fun
all of the years, the tears and the fears
and you are still the only one

although the winter storm still rages
there's a new dawn just begun
full of hope and new courageous
and you are still the only one
the only one, the only one
you are still the only one
the only one, the only one
you are still the only one 
  
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Blessings to you Joe,
as you navigate these stormy seas.
I hope you will not become a stranger,
but will continue to come here
and share your sorrows and your joys,
for I do believe there are more joys in store for you
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

I will keep going as long as there is breath in my body

Dear Joe,

It is good to know that this is what you will do. And I keep the firm hope in my heart that one day you will be here again, surprising us with a good message! Just as you did after a spell of silence when Darcy was born. I had just sent you a PM asking about him, when I spotted you online - and there was that unforgettably beautiful photo announcing his coming into the world... You both remain in my prayer.

Trusting in "the bigger picture",
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

I am humbled by the love and support I continue to receive from my Gratefulness family.  I have had five towers of strength through this time -
- the love and comfort and protection of my God, which I have felt as real as the touch of any person,
- my sister, Kim, who has given me the counsel that I have needed time and time again, even when I didn't really want to hear, and with whom I now share the love that was closed away in both of us because of my father
- my counsellor and friend, Pat, who has always known what I needed in our sessions
- my music, a gift from above, that I have played every night since I wrote it, as a reminder of my son, and as a key always to unlock the blockages in my feelings
- and this family, this beacon of goodness in a sea of darkness.

I went for a walk today, out along the breakwall near my home.  And I sat at the end, and cried the tears for the time it will be before I see my beautiful Darcy again.



And I renewed my promise to him to be waiting when he is ready to come home to me, and to keep my heart and spirit open and generous.

I have walked through so much darkness and pain.  It would be so easy to become the darkness, out of bitterness or anger.  But that would make me worse that the people who have wished me harm, because I know the difference.  So I will keep the light of my love for my son shining strongly, restated every day.  I will keep the light of the love I have received shining by giving my own.  And I will show the people who walk in darkness that it is so much more comfortable in the light.

I know Julie is living in fear and confusion and doubt.  She has shown this every time we have talked, and now by her silence.  And I wouldn't be her for all the money in the world.  She has Darcy with her, but she can not truly experience the love because of how threatened she feels by the world.  And sooner or later the fear will become overpowering, and she will be unable to face the world, as she was when I first came here to help her.  And I know she leaves all the lights in the house on all night because of her fear.  She hasn't understood that the darkness she fears is in her, not outside.  And, like my father did so many years ago, she fears the light of God and Love and Peace. 

I know my Darcy will be kept safe, and will come to be in the light.

All I have to do is have faith, and keep my heart open.


____________________________________________________

If I stand here long enough the world will do a full circle, and I'll be where I want to be.

Joe

I know my Darcy will be kept safe, and will come to be in the light. All I have to do is have faith, and keep my heart open.

 
Stay well Joe and do all you can to stay well in body, mind and spirit, both for yourself and because Darcy needs you to.
 
With Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Be well,
dear Joe . . .
you need you too!
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

If I stand here long enough the world will do a full circle, and I'll be where I want to be.

I trust you will. Love will overcome. Do keep in touch.

Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

I've found that I can't just let this thread go, because there have been developments in the time since my last posting.

On the positive side

I have found a lawyer with a social conscience who only charges what people can afford to pay, and he has a good reputation.  I have also found a person who is qualified and experienced in providing supervision for access to children, and he's free for people on a low income like I am.  Now we will see if Julie will allow me access to Darcy with supervision, or if she will refuse.  If she does that it will show very clearly that her refusal to let me see him was simply malicious or genuinely out of concerns for Darcy's safety (as unfounded as they might be).  If it's the latter then I will get to see Darcy.  If the former, I won't, but Julie will have shown her true motives clearly, and that will be to my great advantage when it gets to court, and it will give me grounds for applying to the court for an emergency parenting order.

On the not so positive side is the news that the Family Court is so overwhelmed that even a hearing for an interim parenting order would not happen until the middle of next year.  A hearing for a final order would not happen until mid 2012!!!!  So if Julie persists with her refusal to let me see Darcy, he could be two years old before I see him again.

I had a very low evening on Friday, after learning this, but I am back to a sense of

"I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES AND I WILL STAY STRONG SO THAT WHEN MY SON COMES TO ME I WILL BE THE DAD HE NEEDS ME TO BE" (Shouting to the Universe, to the Powers above and below).

The saga continued, like it was ever going to be just boring and repetitious.

Onwards and upwards.

On a different but related note I'm going to post to the music thread about a beautiful example of filling in a blank space from the past.

_______________________________________________________

When I stopped looking at the future through the past I could see the only thing that's real - the present.

Joe

When I stopped looking at the future through the past I could see the only thing that's real - the present.

 
Dear Joe,
I really like your new signature.
 
Concentrate on the positive news. You have no idea what the outcome will be, so don't 'pre-empt' it. Imagine that the very best outcome is what will happen. Our prayers need to be precise and to the point.
 
My Son went through all of this, including the access with supervision, and now it's the child's mother who has to have the access with supervision.
 
Keep faith.
 
With Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

When I stopped looking at the future through the past I could see the only thing that's real - the present.

Dear Joe,

I´m also grateful for your latest signature. Striving to live in the present... That´s what we are all called to do...
It is good to hear of the positive developments of things. As says Jude - concentrate on them!

Wishing you the best always,
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

Dear Joe,
 
I have read a lot of what is here on this long journey of yours shared through this community.  I have only been a part of all this for two months, so I wanted to make sure I took the time to read before I said anything.
 
I hear hope in what you have shared here.  For myself, as a recovering alcoholic of nineteen years sobriety, I have had to learn over and over that I do not know the future.   And when I think I do, then I started assuming the most horrible outcomes about everything in the future.  I really like your signature, as it is helpful to me.
 
I am glad you are continuing to write music.  I am also a musician, a singer/songwriter.  I often find this is the only way I can get out my deepest feelings.
 
I will put you in my waterfall meditation, which is my way of praying for people.   One day at a time.   One hour at a time.  One moment at a time.
 
Love,
butterflyspirit

Now joy is falling down, like the rain upon the ground,
Bringing laughter, bringing hope, bring love.
My heart is like a butterly breaking out into the sky,
And flying cross the heavens high above.

I have had to learn over and over that I do not know the future. And when I think I do, then I started assuming the most horrible outcomes about everything in the future.

Here's the problem.  Part of me catastrophises and expects the worst - this is the abuse survivor (child) who learnt very early that the world is a monstrously dangerous and painful place and wants to be ready when the pain comes again.  There is another closely related part which knows it's going to get hurt, and so brings it about to get it over quickly - the self-saboteur.  Part of me is totally optimistic, and is hurt when it doesn't happen - this is also the innocent child who retreated from the abuse into fantasy because it was nicer than reality.   And there is the rehearser who goes over and  over possible scenarios to try and be prepared for them.   There are other parts which are relevant, but these are the strongest. 

Every survivor I've met has a similar pattern of relating to the world.  The battle we face in our healing is to accept that we are how we are because of what was done to us, and to see that an alternate way of being is possible.  Then we have to un-learn the old pattern and learn a new one, one based on the Transactional Analysis Adult ego state, which gathers information and then makes a decision. 

The hardest part is to accept we may have been using a maladaptive pattern of responding to the world, without automatically seeing this as defining us as wrong and bad.  Because that's the other strong part, often the strongest of all - the child who was taught that if something we do is going wrong then we are bad people and should expect to be punished.  In fact we are to be punished even if something is not going wrong.  And if our original abuser is no longer here we either find someone else to punish us (e.g. Julie for me) or we do it to ourselves.

Which is all pretty ugly, really.  And hard to change, because it's been the foundation of our behaviour and of our perception of ourselves, for all our lives.

What I can celebrate today is the fact that I did the "It's all going to be a disaster, and I'm going to be punished for it, so I might as well get over with and punish myself" trip today, and recognised that I was doing it.  And took an alternative path which ended with me feeling in control of myself.  Pat myself on the back, big time.

I've had to reassert my commitments to Darcy and myself a lot over the last few days, but it's now a door into "I don't like how I'm handling this, what's the alternative?"

I'll save the story for another day.


_______________________________________________

Either I'm getting taller or the holes in the road are getting shallower.

Joe

What I can celebrate today is the fact that I did the "It's all going to be a disaster, and I'm going to be punished for it, so I might as well get over with and punish myself" trip today, and recognised that I was doing it. And took an alternative path which ended with me feeling in control of myself. Pat myself on the back, big time.

 
Joe, as I see it, you are creating your life now. You have the ability and opportunity to make this work.
 
My Blessings to you,
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Either I'm getting taller or the holes in the road are getting shallower.

Dear Joe,

There can be no doubt for me that the first part of your signature is true. As for the second, I certainly hope that it is, too! Keep jumping over or walking around any holes in the road...

Another candle will be lit, and my best wishes are with you.
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

I think,
dear Joe,
that we allow our minds to machinate
and take over
what is our true self
and our true reactions,
because our true self
already knows what to do in any given situation.
Be present and your true and wise self will save you.
Within your true self lives God
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Today I was rewarded many times over for my faith and determination. 

First, the panic I talked about in my last post has resolved in a beautiful way.  Julie had contacted my second wife, Lorraine (it is not unusual for survivors of abuse to have multiple partners who are in some way like their abusers.  It's an attempt by the subconscious mind to replay the original trauma in a way which somehow resolves it.  Of course, all it does is re-traumatise the survivor).  The breakup of my marriage to Lorraine was particularly acrimonious, and Lorraine has made determined efforts to turn my three children against me, and to get them to say they didn't want to see me.

Well, not only did she succeed in doing that, she got them to tell Julie that I had physically abused them.  My panic was about feeling very betrayed by my kids.  Last night I used my Transactional Analysis techniques to get myself out of the Hurt Child and Rebel Child ego states, which is where the panic and hurt was coming from, into the Adult state, and so back into a state which allows feelings to be present but isn't controlled by them. 

Then today I found some things which Lorraine wrote which totally discredit her.  The kids are all saying exactly the same things using exactly the same words, and are clearly just repeating what she has taught them.  If Julie uses them in the court hearings it will in fact strengthen my case.  It still hurts that the kids are doing it, but they are young adults, and have to follow their own paths.

Second I saw my lawyer today, and he said that we will have a preliminary court hearing on 8 December, and that I will have a preliminary access order on that date!!!!!!!  So it looks as if I WILL be seeing Darcy for Christmas!!!!!

Third, my lawyer said that he had a long discussion with Julie's lawyer, and she (Julie's) admitted that Julie has major mental health problems!!  If her own lawyer is saying it, then how obvious will it be for the court.

Suddenly there is not just a light in the darkness, but a blaze of glorious light.

Darcy for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!


______________________________________________

Holes? What holes?


Joe

_____________________________________
I'm still standing
Joe

Dear Joe,
Stay calm! This is my cautious side speaking.
 
Keep faith. Don't get caught up in feelings of revenge, (Julie and Lorraine) and believe.....this is going to work.
 
It must be obvious to a lot of people that Julie has big problems.
 
Want this because it is the best thing for Darcy, and not to get even with Lorraine.
 
It's going to work dear Joe.
 
Prayers and candles for you all.
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Keep faith. Don't get caught up in feelings of revenge, (Julie and Lorraine) and believe.....this is going to work.

Yes it is.  I have surprised myself with how calm I do feel.  And I can definitely see where I'm going.

I had two phone calls from Julie today, and she is losing ground mentally.  On Tuesday her lawyer lodged her application with the Family Court, asking for orders that I be denied any access to Darcy, ever.  Yesterday my lawyer told me Julie's solicitor had said to him that she was worried about Julie's mental health.  Then this morning Julie rang me to ask if I would like some time with Darcy!!!!!  She could not understand why I thought that was strange, considering her application.  She said that she would only agree to an hour a week until Darcy was five years old!!  I said it would depend on the Court she said she didn't care what the Court said, she would never give me any more than that.  Then when I said I would not do it if she was there she switched to her usual abusive self and called me names and hung up.

Then two hours later I got another call, and said that she would be OK with the supervisor I had suggested (a very experienced and qualified man).  I said OK, and she would have to organise with him about handover - where and when.  So she said "No, I'll still be there.  I'm not ever going to let Darcy out of my sight".  Which sort of defeats the whole purpose of another person doing it.  And I have to admit I lost patience and said a pretty unkind thing about her being a total nut case, which may not be very nice, but it's certainly true.  So she said her mantra of "Well that means you'll never see your son again" and I hung up.

I honestly don't think it will be very long before I am Darcy's primary carer.  I don't think there's a lot of room for her to deteriorate further.  And I have to admit to feeling a little anticipation at the thought.  As long as she doesn't take Darcy with her when she falls.  And a lot of sadness that someone I loved has got to the place she has.  I wouldn't imagine it would be very nice there.

But she chose to go down her path, and to remove me from being her support.  And sooner or later we all have to face the place we take ourselves to.  I am not able to do this myself, it's too close to the pain I'v been through, but it would be good if some of you could offer some prayers that when she falls it is not permanent, and that she can get back up again at some time.


_____________________________________________

Wow!  I think I just floated over a hole in the road


Joe

Dear Joe,
My heart goes out to you at this moment. It is all so precarious...is it not?
 
I will certainly keep up the candles and prayers that all will be well, and that Darcy stays safe and well.
 
Keep your cool. What you said to Julie may be true, but won't help you.
 
Prayers continue for all,
 
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Wow! I think I just floated over a hole in the road

Dear Joe,

Please take care you don´t land in one again, there are always deep ones around! Better bite your tongue instead of making hurtful remarks! I will light candles for you and, at your request, for Julie. If you can´t forgive her on the emotional level, I think you will be able to do so on the rational one.

With my best Wishes,
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

My prayers go out to you Dear Joe ,Darcy and Julie .I hope with all of my heart Julie can get the right care she so badly needs.
 
Take good care Joe
 
 
  
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

My day in Court is approaching, and I'm starting to have feelings of excitement and nervousness.  I am so looking forward to being able to say the things I've rehearsed so many times in my mind.  I'm trying not to have too much anticipation about the outcome.  One thing I've come to understand is that I cannot put too much store on outcomes before they arrive.

My lawyer is very sure I will have some access time from the hearing, but that assumes that Julie will abide by the ruling of the court.  I'm hoping her fear of authority is strong enough to ensure she gives me what is ordered.

I saw my doctor today for a script for Champix (Chantix in the States) to help me stop smoking again.  It has been a crutch for me during this time, but now I'm ready to quit again.  The medication takes away the cravings and the physical symptoms of withdrawal, and for me that's the big problem with trying to quit.  It's a three month program and I figure to have quit by Christmas (my present to myself).

I think I'll ask Santa for a 2010 that's completely different from 2009.  This year has not been very comfortable, in fact it hasn't fitted  at all, so I'm hoping I can get a 2010 that's more in line with what I really need.

_____________________________________
I'm still standing
Joe

Dear Joe,

Thank you for the update. You and your concerns will be held in special prayer during the coming days. What is most important in our lives is not in our hands (alone)... Let´s trust!

Blessings and Love,
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

Dear Joe,
 
I can understand that you experience a mixture of feelings as your Court comes near. I hope the outcome will bei what you are hoping for and what is best for all concerned!
 
Congratulations on trying to stop smoking. You are doing yourself a huge favor!
 
A candle is burning for you!
 
With love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Joe,
A picture of you and Darcy have been on my little sacred space, where I have candles etc, for several weeks now, and will stay there during these difficult days.
I can well understand your mixed feelings as the day in court approaches, and I hope things will be as you are so wishing for.
It might be a good idea to have a list in your pocket on the day, of all the things you want to say.
 
Prayers and candles for you all will continue,
 
Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

It might be a good idea to have a list in your pocket on the day, of all the things you want to say.

I'm finding that I'm becoming more "on alert" as the day approaches (a week tomorrow), but not overly anxious.  I think the fact that this will be my chance to tell my side of the story in a impartial arena means I'm more anticipating that fearing.  I know I will be anxious on the day, but my sister Kim has given me some herbal rescue remedy in a spray, and it has already helped settle my nerves.

It might be a good idea to have a list in your pocket on the day, of all the things you want to say.

I certainly will do this.  I see my lawyer tomorrow, and I'll be asking him what the court process consists of.  In any case I will have a speech prepared and written, so I'm not relying on remembering what to say on the day, and points about all the things I want to deal with during the hearing.

I guess mostly I'm just aching to heart the judge award me some time with Darcy, supervised or not.  Without Julie there to make it a battle. 

And the first access visit I have with him I will take lots of photos and post them all.


_______________________________________________

Give me some room, I'm ready to fly

Joe

Give me some room, I'm ready to fly

Dear Joe,

Time certainly is a friend, isn´t it? It keeps changing situations as well as feelings, and you now have something to look forward to. I´m hoping and trusting that things will go well and your fondest wish will be fulfilled.

Candles burning...
With Love,
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)