Dear Mamaluvskids . . .
I am glad that you are feeling better, but hope that you don't become ill again with all of your worries. As Edda and Jude have said, consistency and unity are very important in how you handle the situation. Also, more and more these days, children are having behavioral problems. It doesn't help to know that, but it does help in that there is more information out there, and support groups are springing up out of necessity. I'm sure you could find a group in your area, maybe through a local hospital or church?
But please know that you are not alone, and that we keep the candles burning . . .
with much love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Dear Jude, Edda & Sparrow, thanks for all the post back to me. I'm sorry Jude, I wasn't trying to take over your post, I was just letting you know that I knew how you felt. As far as what all of ya'll said about my husband & I having a united front, my husband doesn't see things like I do. The doctors have even told me that he needs to step up and be with me and agree with me on Richard's behavior. My husband works alot of hours and when he is at home, he doesn't want to deal with the kids. He usually goes outside to do things. I am usually the one stuck with the schoolwork, homework, doctor's appointments etc. My husband says that I am too harsh on all the kids and that I need to let them be kids. I am the one who took Richard last year and had him diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. I kept telling my husband that something just wasn't right with him. My husband finally gave in and told me I could take him to the doctor when I told him that Richard was breaking up our marriage. I don't feel that we have gotten that much further with Richard except that Richard is doing better in school. (which is a good thing) I think that the older he gets that the more disrespectful and mouthier he gets. I don't expect him to be perfect but he is going to learn respect and obedience and to not be such a liar. I have no clue as to what the ending will be to this story. I hope that it doesn't break up our marriage but I can't keep going on like this with no help. I am going to check on-line for a support group for me. Even if my husband chooses to not be a part of it.  

Dear Joya,
I'm glad you are going to keep looking for support and help. This is a common story where one parent, usually the father, works long hours and leaves all the child-rearing to the mother. But he needs to see that he is a parent too and needs to share the parenting.
Do go and get some help, some counselling for you. You are struggling with a problem which isn't yours, or not yours alone, and you need to look after your own health.
 
Don't worry about taking over anyone's post. We are all here to prop each other up.
 
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude . . .
wishing your son and Chloe both, very happy birthdays!
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Thank you Sparrow. I will pass on your wishes.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, please send my birthday wishes as well to your son and Chloe. Y'all have been in my thoughts. I hope things are better between you and him.

Thank you Joya. We had a little birthday dinner tonight with me and my ex-husband, together with my Son, Chloe and his girlfreind, plus children. It wasn't easy! But we did have a few laughs as well.
My Son has twice asked me if I was alright this week!! Not like him to notice, so maybe something has shifted.
 
Blessings to you and Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, you are so welcome.I do hope that your son has had a change of thought. You don't deserve to be treated the way he has been treating you. I hope that he continues to treat you better.   

Thank you all for your good wishes and candles. They are so much appreciated. Please keep the candles burning as we need some inspiration re: the house. It is looking more and more as if it will have to be sold.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Hi Jude, I haven't been online in a long time (computer died and had to get a new one). I am so sorry to read about your ups and downs with your son. I pray that things will get better. It must be so difficult. I am glad that you are still seeing the therapist. It will get better. We only have one Mother and I  pray that he finds it in  his heart to treat you with love and respect. Peace and love to you. Vicky

Sad to say, tonight was the last session with the counsellor. We all agreed that we weren't getting anywhere.
 
If one of us isn't prepared to really look at our behaviour, and to change it, then things will never get better.
 
It was my decision really, but the counsellor agreed and my Son had to. So, it's all up in the air again and I don't know where we go from here.
 
I may carry on seeing the counsellor myself, especially if things carry on being as stressful as they have been lately.
 
Thanks to all of you for all your love and candles and prayers. I still need them.
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude,
 
I am sorry for this turn of events! I hope your son will think this over! Seeing a counselor on your own might be helpful in this stressful situation.
 
You are in my prayers, and your son as well!
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Thank you Edda. I think he was a bit taken aback when it was suggested we stop, but it was impossible, as it usually is, to get him to really 'see' his own responses. In the way of many men, his way is always 'the' way, and his way, apparently, at the moment anyway, is to express anger. It isn't mine, although I can certainly get angry. I find it only adds to the bad feeling.
 
I don't expect I will give up hope!
 
With Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Blessings dear Jude . . .
on striking out on your own with the counseling
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Dearest Jude,
 
I am sorry to hear that your son won't budgebut Jude I was like your son once so there is hope.
 
Mine was not anger thoughbut my counsellor could only take me to a
 
certain piont then I knew I had to admit to myself.This is the hardest
 
thing in the world to do(for me anyway) but once you do do it it allows a
 
whole new world in.
 
I'm not a man but I am so strong willed when it comes to me sadly.
 
Jude ,Edda is right you need support and it's always comforting to have
 
someone else you can turn to in your times of need.
 
I hope your Son turns a corner soon I really do.
 
Take good care Jude,love always Sandraxxxxx
 

 
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Dear Jude,
 
Never loose hope, if you do you almost cease to exist.  Every day we wake with the Hope of a better day than yesterday, we hope that the ones we love are safe and sound, we hope that no matter what life might bring us things will be ok.
 
Don't allow your hope die.  Hope, faith, prayer and belief are going to get you thru your difficulties.  This I can promise.
 
 

Thank you dear Sandra and Olga.
I agree that we should never give up hope, and I am ever the optimist.
 
I live from day to day, and Sandra, if you mean you dig your heels in rather than change.....join the illustrious 'Dig your heels in' club.
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude,
 
Bless you clubs like this are hard to leavebut in time we learn I guess.
 
I hope things are a bit brighter now for you,My candle is still glowing.
 
Love and warm hugs always,Sandraxx

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Please would you light candles for my Son in the 3 C's
group. He badly needs some Healing for body, mind and
spirit.
For reasons unknown to me he is so full of anger, and it gets expressed towards those nearest to him.
It's making him ill as well as the rest of us.
 
Very worrying.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude,
 
I am sorry that your son is having such a problem with anger!
 
I gladly light a candle for him and everyone affected by it!
 
Much love,
Edda!

Peace and joy!