My Son

Thank you Edda, it's most appreciated.
 
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Jude, I am sorry to hear about your son. I will light a candle for your son and all involved. Sadly I think that there are some people who are so angry that they take it out on others. I am not to say that I have not been full of anger at some point in my lfe as I don't understand some of the things that have happend to me in my life, but I try very hard not to take it out on the people that I love.
 
We are stilll have alot of problems out of my 11 year old. I really think that amger and bitterness is some of his problem and that he has so much anger in him about his real mother who left him at one and she so may drugs when she was pregnant with him. He does have the ADD/ ADHD and they have now changed his meds again but even the doc said that some of his problem is just anger and stubbornness. I think another thing is too that he does it for the attention. It has really been a real real, problem again and I know for you it has to be heartbreaking as it is me with Richard. It seems like the more I try to do for him, the worse it is. Sometime you just feel like giving up but you can't. I do hope things get better for you all. With Love, Joya 

Candle has been lit dear Jude.  I am so sorry to hear that he is feeling so much anger.  Of course this effects not only him, but those around him. His family. Huge blessings and love for you all, liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Dear Jude,
Candle is burning in your candle group.I am sorry for you as this so difficult situation when you have no peace in your own home.Thinking of you,
with love Buba,Goran's mom

Dear, dear Jude . . .
I am so sorry that this situation
is escalating.
 
I pray for healing from anger for your son,
and wisdom and courage for you
to be good to you,
and not feed his anger.
I believe that people who live in anger
are experts at getting those around them engaged.
They cannot contain and hold their own anger,
and so they try to get others to carry it.
I know it is difficult,
but if you are able to keep his anger
from infecting you,
perhaps your calm
can help to diffuse it.
This is a tremendous challenge,
dear one . . .
but there is strength and power and love
within this calm
if you can find it.
I know you can
with much love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and prayers.
Joya, I may have said before that I strongly believe my Son is one of those who are vulnerable where past/present drug taking is concerned. Yes it's heartbreaking for me, but it's Chloe who is suffering the most, and on the way is learning bad communication skills.
Sparrow, what you say is spot on!
"I believe that people who live in anger
are experts at getting those around them engaged.
They cannot contain and hold their own anger,
and so they try to get others to carry it. "
I have been thinking that too.
If I do get engaged with his anger, it just escalates, so I have learned to not get involved at all. This isn't satisfactory, but communication with him is nil. One innocent word can set him off, and if he is asked why he's angry he says something like, "because of you" so you get no-where.
My feeling of helplessness is not helped by the fact that his girlfriend will not talk about it. I know some would say she shouldn't get involved, but she is! She is in my home every week. I suspect though, that she would take his side and blame me.
 
If I get the chance I will speak to his father about it.
 
Love to all,
Jude
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Love is the only way

Hi Jude
I really feel for you and for Chloe.  Candle lit and prayers of healing and peaceful resolution sent with Love.
Namaste
Glenysc

Thank you dear Glenys,
I will light a candle now for all your concerns,
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, still thinking of you and Chloe and the whole situation involving your son. I am lighting another candle. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you so much Joya, all prayers very much needed!
 
Thinking of you too,
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

*Sigh*
I have gone through a separation and I know that, though we do it for the best, it is not always interpreted that way.
 
I'll simply say that I relate very much to the issues you are having with your son.
 
I will light a candle for you, my dear.
_______________________________
“We should not believe in traditions because they were transmitted from Antiquity and neither should be believe simply because of the authority of our masters or teachers. But we can apply a writing, a doctrine or a statement when the proper understanding we have of it and our inner experience confirm them. Be your own torch, your own refuge, your own Master…”
- Buddha
  
 

Thank you Line,
 
I was speaking briefly the other day, with the counsellor we saw, and I said to her that it has been a big lesson for me to accept that my Son has changed, and is not the person he used to be. I don't know what happens to some people, but accepting him as he is, does sort of bring some relief, even if it's still painful. There is no point in waiting for him to become the quiet, loving person he once was.
 
Jude
 
 

Love is the only way

Blessings and love for you Jude

No, I did not take this photo. but I wanted to send a red rose to you. 
love, light and angels,  liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Ahhh! Blessings and Love to you too Liliwings. Such a beautiful rose.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

and I said to her that it has been a big lesson for me to accept that my Son has changed, and is not the person he used to be.

. . . a painful lesson,
dear Jude,
but you are right~
that it does bring some relief . . .
perhaps it is in
"accepting what we cannot change . . ."
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

I am so sorry for you too, Jude!
May things change in a peacful way...
 
 

If you want to know something about someone, listen to your heart.

Hi Jude, send you prayers and positive, healing thoughts. I think it's really difficult when our adult children ( a contradiction in terms me thinks!) are difficult.
At the moment with Bobi, I am trying to be in the place where I will not let him "press my buttons". Also, in the same way that there are aspects of other people's personalities that I find it difficult and do not like, it is the same with Bobi.
Of course there are days when emotions throw me off centre but that would be a whole forum to myself!
 
Sending you postiive,helaing thoughts and prayers.
namaste
Glenys x

Thank you for caring, dear Isabella
 
Thank you Glenys. I often think about you and Bobi.
It does feel very strange to be distancing myself from....even avoiding someone who is my child, but it's the only way at the moment.
Sending you good thoughts and prayers,
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Jude, I understand what you are saying re distancing yourself. I pray that you will have your son back again.  The son you knew and respected.  In the meantime I cannot imagine how sad it is for you to miss that boy / man you love so much.  Blessings and love, liliwings

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Thank you dear Liliwings,
Yes, very sad, and the only way to cope with it is to shut my mind off to a lot of things, and pray that the more pleasant and loving side of him will reappear. It's in there, but well disguised.
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way