I called my doctor's office this morning, the mail hadn't been opened yet so the secretary gave me an appointment as mentioned above.
 
My spouse is just as anxious as me, poor soul, he has a hard time eating. He never had a big appetite to begin with (he weighs 95 pounds!). I love him so. He brought me some chocolates to cheer me up. ♥ White Lindt, little balls in golden paper...
 
People who know what is going on are very nice to me, even my accountant is worried about me. There are good people in this world and not everybody is out to get you. I have always refused to be suspicious of everybody (without being naive, of course).
 
One positive note though: the non-profit organization who helps people with mental health problems find a suitable job (my spouse is in a long-term depression, but he is beginning to feel a little better) called yesterday. The lady who met my spouse (his name is Richard) said that he can expect a phone call within 10 days or so. We have been searching and hoping for this kind of help for so long. This is making me very happy as it is very hard for Richard not to work, it is hard for him at times, it increased his (uwarranted) feeling of worthlessness. I LOVE HIM SO!
 
My face is all wet as I write this. It seems the dam has broken, finally.

Dear Line,
 
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and praying for you as well. I hope the news is good!
 
Richard is quite touching in getting you chocolates, and Lindt to boot! I am glad he has prospects of getting a job. It certainly is good for self esteem!
 
I'll light a candle for you both in the ALL group!
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Line, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and praying for you as well. I hope the news is good!

Dear Line, me too! Fingers crossed for goodluck!
~Buba,Goran's mom~
        

I too will be thinking of you tomorrow.
 
I will light a candle for you and for Richard.
 
With Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

What a dear, dear husband you have,
Line . . .
how fortunate you are
to have each other.
A candle is lit,
and you (both)
are surely in my thoughts and prayers
as you await your test results
with much love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Well here are the results.
 
Take a deep breath.
 
It could have been worse.
 
I have cancer on both sides. Yes I do.  But the tumours are very small (they are measured in millimeters). It is not the same as the first time, therse are hormone reactive, so she will be able to give me tamoxifen. My MD says she won't have to remove more lymph nodes on the right side and the radiation will be applied locally with needles. She says that on the left side she will ptobably remove only one node ("sentinel node").
 
The amazing thing is that she told me she felt nothing wrong when she examined me. It is just my intuition that enabled these to be discovered when they were small. I don't examine my breasts, they are too big. But my MD  trusted my hunch and sent me to have an echography and bingo, there they were.  (She has received recognition from her peers in Quebec for being a leader in this field.) The hospital where I am followed has an excellent pathology lab and quality control process... everyone works as an integrated team. I am very well taken care of and it costs me 0¢ out of pocket.
 
All I hope is that I don't have metastasis. I am going to undergo lung X-rays and magnetic resonance imaging (something else too but I forget what it is)  in a few days (our much, and unfairly, maligned public health insurance system pays for everything). I'll keep you posted.
 
At least I have orders coming in so the money will come.
 
I have this pack of cards on my desk called "Gifts of the Goddess -- 36 Affirmation Cards". I draw one every morning. I keep getting the one that says "I let go of things that are no longer useful". I guess it refers to my old way of eating, not exercizing, etc. and really take care of my health. This morning the one I drew says "I learn valuable lessons from studying the past." It's the first time I draw it!
 
I will make myself a self hypnosis CD. I also bought a book (from 2 biochemists who are local experts) that describe how certain foods can help prenvent cancer or stop its spreading. They are not quacks, this comes from research results. If need be, I'll go see a nutritionist. And I will resume tai chi.
 
War is declared. My objective: be a grandma. 

It sounds,
dear Line,
as if a place of great strength
has arisen up within you.
It is serving you well now,
and will continue to do so
as you move forward.
I am so glad that you have a good health care system,
good support,
and a pro-active approach.
My prayers remain with you
as you bravely face this new challenge
with much love . . .
sparrow
 

everything counts... ♥

Dear Line,
 
Thank for sharing with us the result of your biopsies. I am sorry that they do show cancer but it sounds like treatment should be effective. I am glad you have such outstanding medical care. Your positive, constructive approach is really helpful. You are doing everything to make a good outcome possible. I admire the strength you have found and your determination!
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Line,
I join Sparrow and Edda in admiring your response to what could be thought of as bad news by some.
Your good, positive attitude will help enormously.
 
I have 2 friends who, years and years ago, were diagnosed with cancerous lumps in their breasts. Both of them immediately reviewed their lives and lifestyles, diets etc (like you) and both realized that the lumps were bringing them important messages, just like you seem to. Both women are still alive and well.
 
I will light candles for you and for good results from your further tests.
 
Sending Love, Light and Healing,
Jude

Love is the only way

[size=3 font="times new roman"]Hi Line.  im in awe with the way you commence battle.  you are very brave lady and i will light a candle for you that the treatment is effectiv as it sounds like, that He will make medication and stuff will be perfect because He has made it for you.
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"]my heart and prayers go with you.
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"]lots of hugs to you!
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"]eleanor

Hello Line,
I too can only join to other ladies and agree with what they have said:
stay brave and positive and it will help you a lot!
My thoughts are with you too,
with regards,
Buba,Goran's mom

Dear Line
 
Breast cancer deaths in America have been
declining for more than a decade. Much of that
success is due to early detection and better
treatments for women.I light a candle for you .
Looking forward to the day you can share
with us all the stories about your (future) grandchildren.
 
Take good care , Tinkerbelle (Sandra)
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

War is declared. My objective: be a grandma.

Dearest Line,

I admire your attitude, and know that such an attitude can only be a blessing in the situation you are facing. The war has been declared, this battle will be won, for your objective is a noble aim, one which I am sure you will be around to see, with your marvellous positive attitude.

God bless- a candle will be lit for you in ALL- if there is a designated group, please let me know so that I may light for you while I am lighting for others.

Shady

Line, positive intentions and prayers of support, healing and strength for you and your husband.
Namaste
Glenys

I have to be honest: I am very, very sad and also terrified about the future.
 
It comes and goes.
 
I try to stay positive and not dwell on what is wrong.

Dear Line,
 
It is so very understandable that you feel sad, and the futures scares you as it would anyone else. You will get through this as you have in the past. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyhow. And know you are not alone. Everyone here is rooting for you!
 
I will light a candle for you in the  ALL group!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Thank you and be blessed tenfold.

Dear Line,
Edda is right. I too will light a candle for you
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

There is nothing wrong with being  scared,
dear Line.
Fear can be a valuable precursor
to strength and courage and faith,
which when called upon,
can bubble up out of that well
to serve you.
You are stronger than you know.
And you are also not alone,
dear one.
We are here for you
as you move forward,
and many heartfelt prayers
are coming your way
with much love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥