My friends

hi everyone.  just wanted to  fill you in on joy and her family.  she has gone into a big depression and the doctor has put her on a course of tablets because she had started self harming.  i have very gently tried to tell her some of th effects of self harm and she has responded but she still is very shocked and sad.  i have being learning her language of tears if that makes any sense - because shes shocked most of the time, but there us some anger and depression surfacing now.
 
please can you pray that my friend will feel God giving her a big hug, and that we are there for her too.   

Dear Eleanor, thank you for the update on Joy. I'm glad she is at least listening to you and responding to your kindness. I understand what you mean by her "language of tears"
 
I do indeed pray that she will feel all the Love which surrounds her now, and will light a candle for her.
 
With Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Love is the only way

Dear Eleanor,
 
Thank you for keeping us up to date on Joy. You are a good friend to her, which is all the more wonderful since you have your own share of troubles to deal with!
 
I'll light another candle for Joy!
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

today shen seems to have got lower and lower and she is finding it to string words together today when i rang her earlier.  the passing of her husband has seemed to trigger all her feelings and memories about her mother who died 18 months ago.  she said to me thjat she felt like a weakling for crying for them both.  but i said to her that crying can be very healing, and a good way of releasing thingd that youve got locked inside. 
 
some of the things she said and things i said to her have got to my emotions a bit too about my children who died.  but i prayed that God would givfe me peace so i could concentrate on her for that point in time.  she said that she desperately wanted a hug from me so later on she is coming to visit me and i will give all the hugs she needs.  she has been like a big sister to me and i just want to be there for her too because i love her heaps and loads.
 
dancing dolphin

Dear Eleanor,
Every new death, no matter how near to us or far, will trigger memories of our own previous losses. It is natural.
 
Is Joy getting proper support for her grieving? You mention that she has been self-harming and that needs specialist help.
 
Look after yourself as you support your friend.
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

yes joy did tell the doctor about the self harming when she went to get other meds for herself.  he is meant to be sending her to see the primary care mental health nurse based at her doctors practice.  im hoping that this nurse may be able to help her theraqpy wise.  and i also told her about this chqarity over here called cruise berevment care, and i said i would go with her into the building with her and sit outside praying while she talk to them.
 
 i find it hard to look after me,but im am trying to learn about it.  but to me right now Joy is the important one.
 
dancing dolphin

Dear Eleanor . . .
Helping your friend Joy,
is helping you as well.
We are all one in the end.
I hold you both close in my heart,
and I too, am helped
with much love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

thanks sparrow.  what you said about reaching out to others by supporting them being a listening ear etc made me think.  i never thought of it before i dont think.  help each other because we are one through the Body and we can extend a warm hand to people who dont know Him.  once someone said to me that when you rtead in the bible about love thy neighbour as thy self.  she then said to me but note it as thy self, becausae you cant learn to love another person until you have yourself.  what you said about been one seemed to link in with what my friend said.  if i work on that bit in the bible i guess i would understand more about loving each other too.  the more i learn, the more i realise how much more i still have to learn.

the more i learn, the more i realise how much more i still have to learn.

me too,
dear Eleanor . . .
me too
    ♥

everything counts... ♥

thanks sparrow.  i feel like anything i could ever learn is just a drop in the ocean compared to what He knows.
 
i saw Joy today.  she just looks listless and so very tired but she still doesnt sleep.  she was crying when i arrived and i sat there giving her a hug and stroking he hair until she calmed down.  she had someone come oday to sort out a leak in her conservetoy and he was clusmy and knoceked down a beautiful vase that her other half bought her on their last anniversary.
 
i am so mad with that workman.  it had been specifically moved out the way and he still demolished it.
 
dancing dolphin

Dear Eleanor,
 
Perhaps Joy's vase could be restored. There are people who specialize in such things and perform near miracles!
It is so good of you that you are there for Joy!
 
And I agree, the more I know, the more I realize how much I don't know.
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

well i went to see Joy this morning and we watched mamma mia togather and it seem to calm her down some which was good.  i cant remember if i told yoy this in another thread but over here there is a bereavement charity that provides counselling.  and Joy has agree to go for help as long as i would outside tthe first couple of times with her which i told her i would do that gladly.
 
please can you pray that she does gto for this counselling and that it will help her.  thank you for being here for me. m it means alot,

Dear Eleanor,
That's good that your friend has agreed to go to counselling. I do hope she goes, and will certainly light a candle for her and for you.
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

'Mama Mia'
cannot fail to bring some smiles and tears . . .
a good choice.
Like Jude,
I too hope that Joy takes advantage of this counseling opportunity.
You are a kind and good friend
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

i feel very sad this evening.  Joy went for the initial counselling session but when she came out she was really low and crying.  when i got her back home she self harmed and i ended up calling her doctors on her permission because  she needed medical attention.  i have been with her as much as i could today.  and now i am back hhere where i am my grief about my children is coming out now too. i keep trying to be there for Joy as much as possible but tonight her pain seems to trigger my own grief.  i feel bad talking like this but i was just triggered. i just want her to know how much i love her as a friend but i just cant be with her every moment of the day as id like to,  and i feel a bit bad for that.
 
dancing dolphin

Dear Eleanor,
 
Please, don't feel bad because you can't be with Joy all the time. You are doing so much already! You do need to take care of yourself or you won't be any help to her. Memories do get stirred up, and you need to allow yourself to calm down.
Perhaps this first counseling session brought things back more vividly for Joy. Perhaps the councelor needs to know what happened after the session, of course with Joy's permission.
 
I'll light a candle for Joy and also one for you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Eleanor,
I agree with Edda, you do need to look after you. We can't be responsible for other people's decisions about themselves and you can't be with Joy all the time. You are doing your best for her. I'm glad you called her doctors.
Joy needs more help than you can give her. You are being a good friend and that is more than enough.
 
Take care of yourself first.
 
With Love and Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

over the last weekend i have been having to rest as i burnt out a little and so it was a welcome rest.
 
joy has been to see the counsellor and i waited for her but she is still suspicious as to whether it might work or not.  they have been giving exercises to do about fewelings and stuff but she wont do them because she is still extremely emotional.  with her permission and when she was with me i phoned a helpline for her and then she spoke to them.  and she does it is shes sad and triggered in the middle of the night.  she has seen me every day for a while now, and i gradually have pulled out of seeing her on a monday for a little bit of me time as im afraid if i keep flying around with so many things to do that i might make myself unwell again and i dont want that to happen because i want tobe there for joy just a little less.
 
does what i said sound bad of me?  i juat hadto rest.
 
dancing dolphin

Dearest Eleanor,
It makes perfect sense that you look after yourself first, as if you don't, and you become tired and ill yourself, then you are of no use to anyone else.
 
You are being a wonderful friend to Joy, but ultimately she is the only one who can make the decisions to seek help and get better. You are doing so well to point her in the right direction, but she must do the work.
It's early days for her yet, and it will be difficult for her to move forward.
 
Blessings to you both,
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way