Love and water

I just had to share this:

"I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: 'You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.'This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love... they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retreat from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.
Thought for the day: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away..... Life is beautiful!!! Live it!!!"
by Swami Vivekananda

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

Dear Arow,
 
Oh, how true that is !! And how difficult to put into practise.
 
I fell in Love with someone who has the biggest phobia to committment I have ever come across, and I am just about as committed a person it's possible to be. Big lesson time for me. Also big heartache for me, but he's the Love of my life and was responsible for teaching me the only important lesson we need to learn.........what Love really is, and I'm eternally grateful to him for that.
 
I don't give up on people so am getting plenty of practice at not trying to possess him, but to letting him have the freedom he craves whilst rejoicing in the Love that we so obviously share. It's very hard. I believe we've had previous lives together as there is a very strong spiritual bond between us.
 
An 'astrology' friend, when looking at my chart, said that this life, for me, was all about learning about relationships, and if you've read my various messages you'll be in no doubt of that! and to think I just wanted a quiet life
 
Love J
 
 

Love is the only way

Dear Arow,

I always thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. They remind me of so many invitations for personal growth. Your "story" about water and love is similar to one that I have heard regarding prayer--to always pray with open hands, not grasping on to what I want to happen but allowing the divine to take whatever is there and use it for good. The respect of the "Divinity" for humankind--The story of the little child with the broken toy--the little one brings the broken toy to the Divine and asks, begs and pleads for it to be fixed. Hours later, the little one is VERY VERY ANGRY with the Divine and yells "I brought my broken toy to you and asked you to fix it. I asked for your help. If you are truly Divine, why is my toy still broken!!!! " The Divine One looks at the little one and very tenderly said, "My child, with all my heart, I wanted to fix your toy, but you would never let go of it."

Thank you for your post. "Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand" , truly very difficult words to live by but very wise words of true freedom.

Your freedom from Tina is daily in my prayers.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Dear J,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry that "love" has brought so much difficulty and pain to your life right now. As I read your post, the thought came to mind--how would the love of your life feel if you took the same freedom he craves and became as uncommitted as he is? I pray that this individual is not taking advantage of the fact that you are "just about as committed a person it's possible to be." As I read the part of your post "and was responsible for teaching me the only important lesson we need to learn.........what Love really is, and I'm eternally grateful to him for to him for that" I felt an ache inside for you almost as though this individual has "taught" you their version of love so that you will always be there for them to return to while they fly free.

I have read many of your other posts and pray that you see all the care, concern, good, beauty and giftedness in you and that you give yourself the same love, respect, and understanding that you so freely give to others.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

ORIGINAL: arows1faith

Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand.

I really needed to read this today. It's really helped me realise how far to go in my personal relationships.

Things I'm Grateful For - Updated Daily. Now updated to the new Mk II version.

Thank you Imenuff for your kind words and obvious concern. I'm aware that many people feel the same way as you because they tell me !
 
My eyes are open as well as my heart, and I know some of what you say is true. I made the decision to stick with this man knowing full well that he would use me as a prop. In fact, this is OK. I never thought I would be a person to say that, but I knew from the start that this was past life stuff. I recognised him the moment I looked in his eyes and remembered one of our past encounters a short time later.
 
I've always been a very 'black and white' sort of person and have also taken the high moral stance where relationships were concerned. This one has turned a lot of stuff upside down for me and has been a huge learning experience.
 
I'm 61 years old and I don't think anyone will be teaching me "their kind of love" (-:  I was with my husband for 36 years and thought I knew all about what love was. Wrong!!!!!! I did love him, but wow, not like this. After 8 years it just keeps getting stronger and better, and when I say he taught me what real love is, what I meant was, it's got nothing to do with romantic love. It's the strongest power in the Universe, unconditional and doesn't rely on reciprocation.
 
My spiritual teacher once said (of my ex-husband) that if I loved him enough I would be able to pick him up out of the gutter and kiss him. (She was being deliberately provocative) I replied that, no, I wouldn't be able to.
Well, this time I'd have no trouble. Whatever indescribable filth was on him it would make no difference. It would probably make me love him more.
I've got close to that feeling with my children and my cats!
 
Strange thing - Love. 

Love is the only way

Dear Judith,

I apologize if it came across as though I was judging you or your love, or attempting to tell you what to do. Please know that I only wish the very best for you. You have been through a lot and deserve only the best. I pray that this very special love will always fill your life with total unconditional love and bring you much well deserved happiness.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Dear I'menuff,
 
No need to apologize at all! If I was reading my post as someone else I would think exactly the same........or perhaps I wouldn't now, I don't know.
 
Life is no longer so black and white for me. I think I am a lot more tolerant than I used to be, and this is mainly because I have embarked on the spiritual path, and I believe this relationship is just a part of that process.
 
It has always felt that I was on the right track, no matter what, and as one who does things like playing the Transformation Game and choosing inspirational cards etc, I have got the message to Keep Loving anyway, so many times, (in fact, eerily, every time) both for my 'man' and for the difficulties I'm having with my Son, I know my intuition is right.
 
I get it wrong a lot of the time, but couldn't be more sure this time. Thank you so much for your input, I do appreciate it. We all need someone else's point of view.
 
Love J

Love is the only way

Solomon:
You're a man of such few words; I'm glad I chose the right quote to highlight for you.

Imenuff:
You do well at encouraging others to 'see' themselves again. What my intention to say is that you very kindly remind people to not compromise themselves. When it comes to love, sometimes, I know that I get wrapped up in the frenzy of it all and then my anxiety goes off and I completely forget to remember this: If I'm not truly comfortable then find somewhere else to sit; don't try to change the seat. Gentle reminders to 'be great to yourself' seem to be the easiest for you to dispense; thank you.

to always pray with open hands, not grasping on to what I want to happen but allowing the divine to take whatever is there and use it for good.

That's good stuff!

J:
Well, you should've known better than to 'just want a simple life.' (I don't even think life comes in that style/color! LOL) I'm glad you've someone in your life that can excite your passion and make you redefine 'what you already know.' I must side with Imenuff, though, for caution if no other reason. You did not clarify what 'freedom' meant when you said 'the freedom he craves' and, well let's just say that there's a whole lot of gray there. This could be taken as adultering promiscuity or just basic self-independence and a need for one's own space. I believe in monogomous committal (which is probably part of the reason I'm single {that's just my sarcasm trying to be funny}) as you do, but I've been in love outside of monogomous commitment without sacrificing myself, as well. You're a very sweet lady and I can't hold it against anyone for voicing concern for your well being.

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

Dear Arow,
 
I love reading your messages and make a special bee-line if I see your name! Thank you for your input which is very touching.
 
I won't even try to explain as I can't put it into words, and every time I try it comes out not at all how it is and people misunderstand.
 
Suffice to say that no-one is hurting me or taking advantage of me. The man in question is far too complicated to describe here anyway - even he doesn't know what he wants, let alone anyone else.  But he's pretty special as human beings go, and my life would be much diminished if I hadn't known him. What it's all about in the scheme of things I know not! (Not yet anyway)
 
Lots of Love, J

Love is the only way

J:
I'm glad my words land softly on your ear. Native Americans called writing "the words that stay." The significance of the written word is clear in their philosophies. It is believed that the spoken word is carried away by the wind, a finite event that fades into history. Whereas the written word remains long after the speaker finishes speaking; it leaves a mark on reality and the residual energy of the speaker is carried by those written words for eternity. I like words, especially writing them down, so I try to write with a voice that I'll be proud to have written with 10 or 20 years down the road. A huge thank you and one of Blue's patented "virtual hugs" goes out to you for enjoying what I've written.

I must say that I'm relieved by your assurance that you are not being treated badly, though. As relationships go, intimate or otherwise, a bond is established. When that bond is negative... ugh, that's the ugly side. But, when that bond is positive... beautiful things happen. Trust, faith, honesty, acceptance, kindness all rise to the surface. People in a positive-bond relationship bring their best to the table; they want to be better for the other person.

And, because I'm so fond of quotes, Greg Behrendt said it beautifully:

"It seems like it's a hard decision, but it's not. The right relationship feels good. It's bouyant; and it makes you better. A bad relationship feels bad, panicky; and diminishes who you are everyday. So, make the right choice and honor yourself. And then.... continue rocking."

J, I feel that you are honoring yourself. Ponder the nimble intricacies of your relationship with us; we'll help find something that makes sense in it all.

Much love sweet spirit

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

Dear Arow,
 
That's beautiful - thank you. Definitely food for thought. I also love the written word and have always been able to express myself best with it. Speaking has always been difficult for me as I am a shy person.
However, I still have to be careful as I have a tendency to react before thinking! The PC does give you a chance to change what you've written though, if you don't send it off before reading it first.
As it's after midnight here I must get to bed now. I'll send you one of my poems tomorrow, which might explain what I can't now.
 
Lots of Love and hugs in return, J

Love is the only way

 
Dear Arow,
the promised poem, J


 
                                COMMUNION            
 
                               The child in me sees                
                                The child in you.
 
 
                                The woman in me feels
                                The man in you.
 
 
                                The spirit in me loves
                                The spirit in you.
 
 
                                The soul in me knows
                                The soul in you.
 
 
        Jude. 11th August 2000.

Love is the only way

Dear Judith,

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!!Is this your own work??? So short, so to the point yet so completly pregnant with meaning!!!! Thank you for sharing it with us.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Dear I'menuff,
 
Thank you, yes it's mine! It came to me in the bath one day
I've written a few love poems, but I think this one is my favourite.
 
I don't set out to write - they just come, and not very often.
 
Love J

Love is the only way