Dear Edda,
I think I agree with everything you say (or say 'yes' to your questions!)
When we are talking about the Love we have for people, it must be unconditinal, or it isn't Love.
This conversation has made me think about how I feel about my Son for instance. sometimes I think I've stopped loving him, but really it's his behaviour I don't love. I have to search deeply to find his essence, which was so evident as a child and young man. It's still there, and I know I still Love
that person.
I had to lose what I thought was Love in order to find out what it really is.
Personally, and especially after that experience, I believe we are all here to discover for ourselves...LOVE and what it really is. Not what we think it is.
Love doesn't mean we have to be kind to everyone (although it is good to be!) or to condone bad behaviour, and of course it hurts to lose people we love, especially for reasons we think are "not right or fair."
We are asked to Love the sinner, but not the sin.
No, we don't feel connected to this Love when everything seems to go wrong! But we
could do. Most of us are not able to...yet. The best I can do with this is to do my best to Love and look after myself in the uncomfortable situation.
Loving that annoying neighbour is pretty hard!

but trying to see something pure in them, and as you say, wanting the very best for them, is loving them.
Wishing and praying that a much loved one, who is suffering and without hope of recovery, would die peacefully, is surely loving them.
Wishing the neighbour's barking dog would die (which I did once) is not loving them!!
Interesting subject!
With Love,
Jude