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 Thoughts at the end of a day

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Isabella Bernardo

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Thoughts at the end of a day 8/12/2011 6:20 PM (permalink)
Thought it could be a good idea, to have a place where somebody can share his/her thought at the end of a day...
 
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYNM6SjD_o&feature=relmfu
 
You won´t believe it if you would see the house I left
So many years ago
But I´m longing for this place where I could laugh a several times
Although the life was hard there too
But there was someone, one person, who cared about me
So I didn´t cry for mom and dad, and I did never cry for my sisters too
Because I was too busy to learn what I could
As life is created by destiny it was never planned to become free
Because destiny was HE
The house I lived was filled with tears and cries, but much more from
Many children laughter
We had to accept  - and we did -
That no cry will be heard before the right time comes
Oh what cheerful games we have played with solidarity
And laughed when hurt was the most
We could not run away through the open doors
Because we knew that there wasn´t another place (for us)
So the time in the house where I lived
Was secure and filled with our souls
And the soul I´ve left there as I left the most memories
Because someone has to live  - only -  how this life IS.abella
 
 
true is, what happend.
 
#1
    lilsparrow

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    Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/13/2011 7:36 AM (permalink)
    "I got lost in this old world
    and forgot who I am . . . "
                                    ~Tom Douglas (?)
    . . . from the song you posted,
    dear Isabella . . .
    yes, sometimes it is hard to go back
    but often we can't move forward unless we look back.
     
    I like this . . .
    Thoughts at the end of a day . . .
    this morning I have a thought at the beginning of the day
    but it is really part of last night's thinking
    and last nights dreams which stay with me now
    in the morning
    when it is still quiet.
    Thinking of secrets kept and secrets shared.
    My husband tells me I am a woman of secrets . . .
    he doesn't know what they might be,
    but he knows they must be there
    somewhere inside . . .
    he doesn't ask though
    and so they remain
    secrets . . .
    everything counts...
     
    #2
      Isabella Bernardo

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      Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/16/2011 4:41 PM (permalink)
      My thoughts often circle around when I am thinking about all my loved ones, my children, other one and friends.
      Sometimes I was asked which of my children I love most?
      Can someone divide love? It is and wasn´t given to me to answer. Whenever I tried to find it out, the names changed, but the love was - and is - all the same!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwn6_qtQMN8&feature=related
      Some of us know, how painful it is to lose a child, maybe a partner, and this maybe is the only fear the most humans have the whole life: To lose a loved person and if we have, pain don´t stop, maybe it slows down for a small time -o be present then again. Sorry for those who mean, that it lays in our hands to feel better again, that it cannot bee to feel the grieve after years - I excuse you - because you don´t have the experience maybe, or maybe you didn´t feel love...
       
      Love,
      ISabella
       
       
      true is, what happend.
       
      #3
        lilsparrow

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        Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/16/2011 5:32 PM (permalink)
        This is my favorite of all the versions that I have heard,
        dear Isabella . . .
        I was surprised to see you found it too.
        I will responde tomorrow
        to your post as evening awaits me
        and I must go
        with love . . .
        sparrow
        everything counts...
         
        #4
          buttington

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          Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/16/2011 6:28 PM (permalink)
          Dear Isabella,
          Your post reflects the drama I have been watching tonight...'The Forsyte Saga', which so elegantly portrays all of human emotions connected to Love and loss.
          I think you are right when you say that, probably, our biggest fear is of loss.
          Love is the only way
           
          #5
            lilsparrow

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            Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 8:13 AM (permalink)
            Funny . . .
            I've been reading a book of short stories by MFK Fischer . . .
            'Sister Age'.
            The stories run like thoughts and memories . . .
            sometimes she is the main character
            and sometimes she is not.
            These stories reflect our human condition in all its frailty,
            and they make me embrace my own . . .
            no need for perfection
            for there is none,
            or perhaps as I have been thinking lately,
            imperfection bears its own perfection--
            all is perfect just as it is.
            My life here is so messy . . .
            that is,
            being a human being is a messy project.
            But within the mess that is us
            is a beauty more poignant and meaningful
            than a life lived as a machine.
            I smell, I see, I taste, I hear and I touch . . .
            and the most blessed gift of all perhaps,
            I feel.
            It becomes so easy to believe that my feelings are unique
            but they are not.
            People all around me . . .
            the people I love and those I do not
            all feel and yearn and love and suffer.
            We act as if we are islands,
            and many years ago after a very painful loss
            I tried to make that so.
            But Infinite Wisdom gently (and sometimes not so gently)
            guided me to a place of realization . . .
            and within that realization was a freedom I had never known before.
            I am learning now
            to forgive myself and to forgive others
            for the messes that we make . . .
            in the end
            it is all a part of what makes us such a rich and varied mystery.
            So I try to take the pain with the joy
            and accept in the same good faith
            that in the end all will be well.
            In truth
            (although I can't always accept it)
            all is already well
            just as it is
            now.
            everything counts...
             
            #6
              bm

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              Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 8:31 AM (permalink)

              Sorry for those who mean, that it lays in our hands to feel better again, that it cannot be to feel the grieve after years - I excuse you - because you don´t have the experience maybe, or maybe you didn´t feel love...

              Dearest Isabella,
              I totally agree with you.
               

              It becomes so easy to believe that my feelings are unique
              but they are not.

              So truth dear Sparrow, but we all often think that "my feelings are unique, others can not feel so great happines I CAN, and others can not feel so deep and painful sadness I CAN" May be it is selfishness that lies in a heart of every human being.May be it is in our nature to think that way even our mind says different.

              You can keep going long after you think you can't...

               
              #7
                buttington

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                Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 8:49 AM (permalink)
                Dear Buba, I think we hold those beliefs close to our hearts.....just bacause they are our beliefs (and only ours ) Our joy, our hurt...no-one else's.
                I don't think we want them to be the same as others'
                 
                Healing begins when we can accept that our feelings are just the same as those that other people feel.
                Love is the only way
                 
                #8
                  lilsparrow

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                  Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 9:27 AM (permalink)

                  Buba wrote: 
                  May be it is selfishness that lies in a heart of every human being.May be it is in our nature to think that way even our mind says different. 
                  Jude wrote: 
                  I don't think we want them to be the same as others' 
                  Healing begins when we can accept that our feelings are just the same as those that other people feel. 

                   
                  . . . a case perhaps of wanting to be special . . .
                  We are special, but not in the way we think we are . . .
                  everything counts...
                   
                  #9
                    bm

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                    Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 9:38 AM (permalink)

                    Healing begins when we can accept that our feelings are just the same as those that other people feel.

                    I do not believe in healing when the one you lost is your own child.
                    There is no healing with time or whatever, there is only something that I should call finding a way to live with locking all feelings of loss and grief in your own heart and mind , far away from other people's "eyes"... Outside it seems that you are "healed" and all is normal, but inside is only pain I think Issy can understand what I am talking about...

                    You can keep going long after you think you can't...

                     
                    #10
                      buttington

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                      Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 12:15 PM (permalink)
                      Dearest Buba,
                      I haven't lost a child, but I think I can understand what you are saying. Healing takes many paths, and doesn't only mean that what ails you is cured. Healing can be in baby, baby steps, and we are often not even aware that it has taken place until much later.
                      No, we don't recover from such tragedies...ever...but over time we feel a little bit different. Maybe we can talk about it a little easier, then think more about the happy times. Gentle, little steps towards feeling less pain. That is Healing.
                      Sharing our pain with others is a form of Healing, which is what we do here. It doesn't mean the pain has been miraculously removed, but sharing it is like pouring a little balm over it. Allowing others to help you carry the burden.
                       
                      When Healers are called to dying people, they aren't expected to cure that person, but to help them pass more peacefully. Healing doesn't mean to cure anything, although it often happens. The person heals themselves, and the Healer is just a facilitator.
                       
                      When I wrote my post above, I was thinking of people like my Aunt, who lost a child when he was 16. She spent the rest of her life fiercely holding her grief like a badge of honour, and didn't want anyone to help her. She didn't want to be Healed....but actually wanted to feel pain. She died a very unhappy woman. Now, nobody wished for her to be in such pain. We all loved her son when he was alive, and we all grieved. He has a brother, who suffered enormously because his mother had lost her "favourite son" and he obviously wasn't the favourite.
                      My Aunt felt that nobody on earth but her had also lost their sons, or felt as badly as she did, or understood.
                       
                      I hope you can see the difference, dear Buba. And I know you....I know you aren't like that!
                      I didn't explain well enough first time around.
                      Love is the only way
                       
                      #11
                        bm

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                        Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 12:30 PM (permalink)

                        Sharing our pain with others is a form of Healing, which is what we do here. It doesn't mean the pain has been miraculously removed, but sharing it is like pouring a little balm over it. Allowing others to help you carry the burden.

                        Thank you dear Jude for your understanding!
                        Human's emotions are obviously very complex especially for putting them to words!
                        I am grateful I have found this site and friends that can understand. 
                        Since I have come here for the first time I made many baby steps forward and some back
                        but trying to keep going forward remembering that I have a son and a husband who are going the same way like me, 
                        and came through the same tragedy like me.

                        You can keep going long after you think you can't...

                         
                        #12
                          buttington

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                          Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/17/2011 1:42 PM (permalink)
                          Dear Buba, it is a privilege to share your baby steps. You and your family are always in my heart.
                          Love is the only way
                           
                          #13
                            sandra67

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                            Luch time thought 8/18/2011 9:12 AM (permalink)
                            Just my thoughts right now....
                             
                            If a husband dies,the wife is called a widow.If a wife dies,the husband is called widower.If a child's parents die,the child is called a orphan.Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?
                             
                            How do you put heartbroken,devasted,lost,broken,hell, and grief stricken into one word?
                             
                            some broken hearts
                            __________________________________________________________________
                             

                             
                             
                            #14
                              Isabella Bernardo

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                              Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/19/2011 8:43 PM (permalink)
                              All young girls like to be dressed well, if it is possible in the style
                              it is present by the most of all.
                              Sometimes I must laugh about the time when I was grown up.
                              Of course the children at school were dressed well, but others like me
                              were out of the running.
                              Oh yes, if my sisters and me have had a coat - we could have been happy,
                              if we have had shoes for winter - we could have been happy- but we have
                              not had.
                              For children it is embrassing, disgraceful to be one of those who have nothing.
                              Even nothing really means nothing.
                              Often we had just two pullovers in winter time, normal shoes, and the way to
                              school was long - and it was a privileg to be able to visit school.
                              For my sisters and me school was the much better place than our home.
                              If children have to go to bed without food
                              without the care of parents
                              without any neighbour who would have been interested whats going
                              on next door,
                              they have their own fights.
                              It was a privileg for us to lay in hospital, have a warm place,
                              something to eat...
                              No, not for us! For my sisters. It makes a big different if
                              somebody is really sick or he/she was brought there because
                              the parents didn´t have any plan to bring up their kids.
                              So my sisters were sent home early, but one child  has to stay there long
                              intervalls, this was me.
                              Time in hospitals is terrible for children, terrible if nobody comes there to talk,
                              to show that such child is loved and missed.
                              This was normal to me too.
                              It was also normal, that my sisters could go out to play and I had mostly
                              to stay at home, mostly in the smallest room. We all had no toys and if, so
                              the eldest had enough nous to hide it from the younger sisters.
                              I don´t remember one moment, that one of my sisters hugged me or
                              each other.
                              There wasn´t a time to hug, there was the time to come through life.
                              Everything one of us has got to eat, it was eaten in the same moment, to
                              must not share it because we were hungry.
                              If one of us has got something special from neighbours, school, ...
                              my parents often sold it. The only gift I remember I have got was at one
                              Christmas day - a normal exercise book, and it was taken away the next day
                              by my parents to save it if one of my sisters could maybe need it at school.
                              It isn´t easy to be not perfect. Sisters and other children can be very cruel
                              against persons who are handycapt. So it was clear, that I always was the one
                              who was suppressed.
                              This was normal too, and I always was the one, who was beside the whole family.
                              The years from the past weren´t close to acceptance.
                              Sisters and brothers - I don´t know them anymore although some
                              of us have had contact - we never have found closeness,
                              too different are the developements.
                              We are living in a time where consumption is important for the
                              most humans. They don´t realize, that this consumption has brought
                              us on one side much advantage, but on the other side so much
                              disadvantage.
                              It is possible to buy really cheep clothes - but they are made
                              often from other humans they cannot exist with their income.
                              Children are working for "our happiness".
                              In the part of the world it is called "civilization" we have enough
                              to eat. Some of us grasp, that it isn´t needed to eat too much meet.
                              Animals are hold in unworthy situations.
                              We do not exact know which food is natural, which not.
                              But many humans from the "western Earth" turn their heads
                              away from this facts.
                              Children are unhappy because they have "everything":
                              nice clothes, food, they MUST go to school, .......
                              and the same children become sick from food, from the pollutants,
                              from mobbing at school, from the lost closeness to their parents - 
                              because their parents love them so much, that they often forget that the
                              perfect clothes, technics, second cars in the real aren´t needed.
                              These parents push away that from one moment to the next
                              everything can change, that their children can become sick, that
                              the freedom isn´t freedome -  it doesn´t need so much that
                              the peace in our countries isn´t secure.
                              At the end they are shocked if juvenils demage their illusions -
                              as we must read more and more...
                              I ask myself if it is always needed to make bad experiences
                              to find then the right view what it is important or not.
                              The talk with my neighbour, she is seventeen, last night, has reminded
                              me on the time, when I was a girl with the same clothes as more than
                              fifty children, in a time it wasn´t important, which look we had, but it
                              was important to have any. It was important for us that just one person
                              cared about us.
                              This juvenil has a perfect outlook, but she has one thing
                              more too: she cares. She cares about her oncle he has one handycap. She
                              don´t accept that others hurt him. She is standing up against those who
                              discriminate him, she has the right view - and she reminded me on my children
                              they have to put in so much because their mother often was discriminated,
                              if it were on the street, in hotels, wherever, because she wanted to be
                              dressed like others, but it was shown then, that she has a handycap.
                              My children, and this young lady, have made the experience, and their
                              hearts are bigger then those, who are turning their heads.
                              With all my love for my children and those, who are able to accept
                              the unalterability

                               
                              Love,
                              Isabella
                               
                               
                               
                              true is, what happend.
                               
                              #15
                                bm

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                                Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/20/2011 2:47 AM (permalink)

                                You can keep going long after you think you can't...

                                 
                                #16
                                  sandra67

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                                  Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/20/2011 4:12 AM (permalink)
                                  Dearest Isabella,
                                   
                                  Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.It should not matter if we are different as God made us all special in many ways.you are specialYou,your children and your lovely visitor are right in the way you think and I can only pray other's(me too) learn from your examples..
                                   
                                   
                                  I have to say some children today are unhappy because they think they have ''everything''.It's the wrong everything though as we both know.To me ''everything'' is love be it in a hug,word or a kind deed.
                                   
                                   hugs don't need new equipment,
                                  Special batteries or parts-
                                  Just open your arms
                                  And open your hearts.

                                   


                                  I don´t remember one moment, that one of my sisters hugged me or
                                  each other.
                                  this is so sad my friend.Hugs were  few in my home because my Mother had to work so hard to feed eight tiny mouths but when I got one it felt like my heart would explode with joy.I am so sorry you and others did not have this experience.Isabella I read a book once about adults who were not shown any effection as children.Most of them could never heal from their lack of love.They found it hard to hug their own children and sadly this showed in their own children's lack of effection too.You are a wonderful  example how you can turn it around as you give great hugs and are very huggable .This reflects in your children and others you so caringly love.
                                   
                                  Talking of hugs I have seen Buba's grown up son(but Buba's baby really)hug his mother  for the best reason this world can hold  ''LOVE'' .I have to say it made me care for him even more.He reminded me of one of my brothers as he hugs beyond measure too.These are the gifts that cannot be bought but can have such a wonderful ripple effect on others.
                                   
                                  I am gratetful......
                                   
                                                             
                                                             
                                   
                                  ________________________________________________________
                                   
                                   

                                   
                                  #17
                                    Hildegard

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                                    Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/20/2011 9:09 PM (permalink)
                                    I have come late to this deep, heartfelt sharing here and am moved reading it.
                                     
                                    I would like to go back to the question of healing. Perhaps it depends how we understand it. The way I see it, healing doesn't mean things go back to normal as if nothing had happened. Wounds can heal but they do leave scars. No two scars look alike, some may be more tender than others, be at a different stage of healing. Our feelings and sorrows may look similar on the surface but they are unique since each one of us is different. It is not a matter of comparing which wound is deeper or more special than any other, of having suffered more, but of realizing that most of us bear scars, the marks of having lived. We can't take the pain away but reach out in compassion to each other knowing that we are not alone.
                                    Peace and joy!
                                     
                                    #18
                                      buttington

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                                      Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/21/2011 4:28 AM (permalink)
                                      Dear Edda, I like your description of Healing
                                      Love is the only way
                                       
                                      #19
                                        lilsparrow

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                                        Re:Thoughts at the end of a day 8/27/2011 10:17 AM (permalink)

                                        Edda wrote: It is not a matter of comparing which wound is deeper or more special than any other, of having suffered more, but of realizing that most of us bear scars, the marks of having lived. We can't take the pain away but reach out in compassion to each other knowing that we are not alone.  
                                         

                                        It is true . . .
                                        and compassion comes from a place deep within
                                        of having shared pain, disillusionment and despair.
                                        We are all wounded and scarred in some ways . . .
                                        As Jim Morrison said,
                                        'no one gets out of here alive...'
                                        how we handle it and how we heal
                                        is up to us.
                                        We can grow tight and stiff and withdrawn
                                        or we can open our hearts to others
                                        with love and compassion . . .
                                        sparrow
                                        everything counts...
                                         
                                        #20
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