Laughter and the Positive Effects

 
I wanted to wish everyone a beautiful morning on this glorious day in which we get to be alive!
 

Thank you, Thankful one! Here the morning is beautiful to look at from inside, blue sky, just a few white clouds, but the outside temperature is now - 3 degrees! Some birds have been warming themselves on the chimney of a neighbor's house! Your picture makes me look forward to spring!
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer,2007 Release).
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
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Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Betty, thank you for the Bulletin Bloopers. They are funny as they appeared typed that way. LOL
 
Marie

               
 
 
10. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
 
9. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
 
8. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
 
7. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories all at once. Isn't that handy?
 
6. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
 
5. Eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, for a balanced diet. They actually counteract each other.
 
4. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
 
3. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
 
2. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
 
And the # 1 Rule of Chocolate:
 
1. Put "Eat Chocolate", at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
 
 
 

             
                   "I always wanted a real bunny this big!"
 
 
 
 
 
Marie

 

 
 
 
 
Marie

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
 
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter.
 
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
 
4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie Nelson."
 
5.  Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
 
6.  When You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
 
7.  When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
 
8.  When.. "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
 
9.  When.. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
 
10.  When... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the rest room!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Loving You Always

 

As you got up this morning, I watched you and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to work.

 

I waited again.

 

 

When you ran around the house getting ready I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy.

 

At one point you had to wait fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.

 

I watched as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long.

 

With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn't bow your head.

 

You glanced three or four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn't. That's okay.

 

 

There is still more time left, and I have hope that you will talk to me yet you went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do.

 

After a few of them were done you turned on the TV. I don't know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there & you spend a lot of time each day in front of it, not thinking about anything - just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal but again you didn't talk to me.

 

Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.

 

That's okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you.

 

I've got patience more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well. I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart.

 

It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.

 

 

Well you are getting up again and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you, hoping that today you will give me some time.

 

Have a nice day!

 

Your friend,

 

GOD

 

P.S. Do you have enough time to send this to another person?

A GOOD VALENTINE STORY
 
John Blanchard stood up from the bench straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station.

He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.

His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell.

With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City.

He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused.

She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York.
"You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.

I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened: A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell.

She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her.

This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"

The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"

It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

 

 

 
 Sometimes the Dreams that come true, are
     Dreams you never even knew you had!
 
 
 
 
Marie

 
Smiles In A Few Minutes!
 
 
 
 
Marie

The Great Car
 
This is a great car, said the car salesman. It runs so smooth you can't feel it. The motor runs so quietly you cannot even hear it idling. It runs so perfectly you cannot smell any exhaust. It is so extremely fast you cannot see it down the road. It has a real purr to it. Bob thought it over for a while, and asked the car salesman,  How do I know it is there then?
 
 
 
Marie