You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.


15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What is the difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack , Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it . . .. at least one of these made you smile!

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Sorry all blonde's
 
Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. and sat
down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM
news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a
ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob
and said, "Do you think he'll jump?'"
 
Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
 
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did
a swan dive off the building. The blonde was very
upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's
your money."
 
Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM
news and so I knew he would jump."
 
The blond replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money...

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

 
Despite the sexist comment I still thought it was funny!
 
Jude

Love is the only way

 me too

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

 

I failed it big timebut I have faith in my clever friends

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Well...........this friend isn't clever!!
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Thank goodness someone else is as bright as me

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

these made me laugh.
The Frog Jump I am afraid
has set me back.
No fair, Sandra, so early in the morning . . .
it must be one of those things
where you must think outside of the box

everything counts... ♥

The Frog Jump I am afraid
has set me back.

 
Sparrow...I have found someone who has solved it!! If he lets me know how he did it I'll let you know.

Love is the only way

Sparrow...I have found someone who has solved it!! If he lets me know how he did it I'll let you know.

 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

hm, I hope, that it isn`t inappropriate (Susan), my thoughts are by Sam, our house-and-farm-dog (we often said):
 
When he was about ~ half year, our neighbour told us, that a farmer wanted to kill his dog-babies and we where so shocked. So, one of these little came to us - and we knew, we would find a good place for him; he was just black with a white spot on his breast.
One day we got visit from some friends and as all people are doing, we had a really fine sideboard with many things like sausage, cheese,....small tarts, cakes...
 
When they came we had to go out into the garden, to receive - at first - the kids, and as you can know, we talked a little bit and than went in.
 
As we came into the sitting room, these "two" jumped one into the next, and the other to another corner,  drooled after having a very good feast...
 
At first we all looked very shocked, but all of us burst out laughing and Sam& Charly where so "proud"...
We had to clean the whole room and after - ?
We all made a new sideboard and instead of cakes we had ice-cream (and some of the kids "rewarded" them with ice-cream we had to forbide...
But Sam never did it again-because after dog-training, we had a really good "braught up" - dog...
and for Charly we find a good place.
 
Love, Is.

If you want to know something about someone, listen to your heart.

Oh Isabella. that is a lovely story, and so typical of dogs!
I'm surprised that Sam only did it the once.....he must have been very well trained!
 
I remember one of our dogs, Bella, also a collie/sheepdog, who ate sandwiches I had just prepared for a guest. I can't remember what I gave the unfortunate guest instead. Bella also ate a lemon meringue pie I made for my first wedding anniversary. She was always a thief, but the strange thing was, we never caught her in the act. She was clever!
 
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Thank you, Isabella, for your humorous story! I suppose the dogs thought the table had been set for them! And their table manners were probably anything but neat! Well, the dogs apparently felt they had done a good job or else they would have gone into hiding! A good thing that everyone had a good sense of humor. This visit was probably more memorable than others.
 
Love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dearest Isabella,
 
Your post made me Sam seemed to be a little wild but ....I can relate to this as I am too
 
   
 
could you train Isabella for me..please
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

I see dear Isabella,
that you have brought us all memories of similar times.
When I was a blushing bride at 18,
my husband and I had Thanksgiving dinner with some friends.
We brought our puppy with us.
After dinner, all stuffed with turkey and trimmings (I was a meat-eater back then),
we decided to go for a ride.
The other wife and I went back through the dining room to find car keys,
and there was my puppy on the table,
helping herself to the leftover turkey!
The turkey was bigger than she was . . .
♥

everything counts... ♥

and there was my puppy on the table, helping herself to the leftover turkey! The turkey was bigger than she was . . .

 
  oh dear  Sparrow you made me

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Oh my what funny puppy stories, Isabella and Sparrow!
Thanks for the laughter!!!
 
Here's joke I was just sent!
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July
picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You
really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't
understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know
what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's
prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break
down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "At your
wedding."
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "At your wedding."

lol Diane
An enthusiastic young Methodist minister was posted to a small town where there was both a catholic church and a jewish synogogue. The catholic priest and the jewish rabbi welcomed the young minister warmly and offered any assistance he might need in his new charge. Then they invited him to go fishing with them. As they were sitting in the boat about fifty yards from shore, the priest said he was thirsty. But they had left the cooler on the dock. The Rabbi said, "I'll get it." With that he stepped out of the left side of the boat, walked to the dock, and returned with the cooler. Later the rabbi hooked a large trout, but the net had been left on the dock also. So the priest stepped out of the left side of the boat, walked to the dock, and returned with the net. By this time the young minister was a little red in the face. Then the old priest said that he had left his knife on the dock and he couldn't get the hook out of the fish's mouth. The young minister stood up and said, "I'll get it!" With that, he stepped out the right side of the boat an promptly sank to his eyebrows. The rabbi turned to the priest and said, "Well Father, if we're gonna' help this boy, we should start by showing him where the steppin' stones are."

everything counts... ♥