Oh Sparrow.................
 

 

Love is the only way

Dear Sparrow, this story reminds me of a scene in a play I saw several years ago. Peter (the apostle) was coming home to his wife and she asked him what he had been doing. He told her that he had been walking on water. Her rejoinder, "If you were walking on water, how come you are all wet?!"
 
So much for walking on water!
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

ladies, ladies . . .

please!

everything counts... ♥

Just received these in an email

Children Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find  North America
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:   Correct. Now class, who discovered  America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:   No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________


TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACH ER:  Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:      I is...
TEACHER:  No, Millie....... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:      All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    
_________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
______________________________________
 
TEACHER:   Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:       No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
  
TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE:       No, sir.  It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher

__________________________________

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!

 
Betty, thank you for the smiles!
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

just what I needed this morning!
Thank you Betty
    ♥

everything counts... ♥

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!

 
How lovely the innocents of a child.
Winnie was telling the truth bless her,
and she knew just how important she was...
 
Thank you Betty for the smiles
 
Love mexx
 
 
 
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

 BBQ RULES
 
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: 


 
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food. 
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. 
 
 
Here comes the important part: 
 
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 
More routine... 
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. 
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat. 
 

 

Important again: 
 
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 

 
 
More routine... 
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 
 
And most important of all: 
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
 
Sorry now men but I thought this was notice I did not say true..
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Love is the only way

good one Sandra
I do think men are good for a lot.  But then again I do not have one around.  Nor do I have a grill. 

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

liliwings


good one Sandra
I do think men are good for a lot.  But then again I do not have one around.  Nor do I have a grill. 

 
Well that's why you think it then
sorry men I love you really ...honest

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

 Summary of Life  GREAT TRUTHS THAT:

LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't  baptize cats.. 
2) When your Mum is mad at
  your Dad, don't let her  brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother  to hold a tomato. 
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't  sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a  glass of milk.. 
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. 

GREAT  TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing > jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like  fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts 
4) Today's mighty oak is just  yesterday's nut that held its ground.. 
5) Laughing is good exercise.  It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your  cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 
1)  Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.. 
2) Forget the  health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall  down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
 that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you  know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 
6)  Time may be a  great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

 THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 
1)  You believe in Santa Claus. 
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus. 

SUCCESS: At age 4> success is . . . ... Not piddling in your pants. 
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.. 
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license. 
At age 35 success is . . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends. 
At age 80 successis . . . Not piddling in your pants.
 Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your
way;  BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.  Have a
wonderful day with many ! *smiles*  Take the time to live!!! Life is
too short.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..

 
Gosh I can! lol What a sight that is! 
The children's ones are so funny and true at the same time!
 
Tonight it was so funny I have just set up a google talk line with a friend from India! I had just shared this email with him and he had not read it and he was discussing his life and how last year he was asked to be Santa Claus! Talk about serendipity! He was laughing so hard as he read this! Thank You Betty for sharing it. He says I am in that fourth phase of life! He has lost his wife 3 months ago and has been going through a major transition and also his father has just moved into his home about five months ago.  So it was a special evening to actually hear his voice and share in some laughter with him.
Peace, Love and Joy,
Diane
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..

me too!
I hardly got past the first one,
and I am still laughing . . .
"nailing jelly to a tree..."
"...polka dot underwear..."
These are wonderful . . .
every one of them.
Thank you Betty!
Thank you for the internal workout
"...jogging on the inside."

everything counts... ♥

Thank you Betty for a great laugh!
 
I don't know how I came to miss it this morning........this new Forum is a mystery to me!
 
Love, Jude

Love is the only way

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

 
It sure is!!! I have been in this home for nearly one full year and I am still
waiting to be asked a questionany question

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Sandra--"I am still waiting to be asked a questionany question"

Sandra, what question are you waiting to be asked?????

Jude, Sparrow and Liliwings, you will all love this!!!

Gardening from a Catholic Point of View


 GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about ...

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Thank you, Betty, this is precious and hilarious, and so true!
 
It reminds me of the time, when I first came to England and saw those perfectly manicured lawns, no "weed" in sight! I was puzzled since I was used to seeing natural lawns with grass and flowers happily coexisting and thriving. I, too, thought they were rather boring and not places for children to run and play!
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

It reminds me of the time, when I first came to England and saw those perfectly manicured lawns, no "weed" in sight! I was puzzled since I was used to seeing natural lawns with grass and flowers happily coexisting and thriving. I, too, thought they were rather boring and not places for children to run and play!

 
HOORAY!! Thank you Edda.
Betty, that's a classic....I did love it.
 
Love,
Jude

Love is the only way