P.S. It's hilarious really, that here in Britain we have killed off most of our natural meadows full of grass and wild flowers with herbicides and modern farming practices.......and now value them because they are rare!! But we still (some of us) must not have a daisy or dandelion in our lawns.
 
Crazy.
 
Jude

Love is the only way

 
 
Sandra, I like this , you are sooo good!
Everyone(Encluding ME) PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 
We really are very similar no metter where we live!
 
Thank you Betty, I smiled a lot about SUCCESS !
 
~with regards to all~
  Buba,Goran's mom

Oh Dearest Betty you just made me  so much.
 
Bless your cotton socks my dear one ...
 
as for the question ask me anything and I will always answer it .
 
Actually on seconds thoughts one should not encourage you as your answers
 
are not always the ones I want to hear
 
Love ya heaps though regardless!

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Hi All!
 
Betty.....you made me laugh......like this:
 
 
 
 
 
and share with others to spread the....
 
 
 
 
 
Thank YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Very funny,
a little sad . . .
it sort of points the finger
at the irony and insanity
of the human race . . .
we are silly little beings, really . . .
♥

everything counts... ♥

I don't know if this has been posted before, but I've just had a fun few minutes reading them!
**********
The following are regrettably phrased classified ads that have been placed in newspapers throughout the world.

"Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel."

"2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess."

"Washing machine: free to good home."

"No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent."

"Great Dames for sale."

"Lost Cocktail."

"Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 yeards old. Hateful little dog."

"German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free."

"Free ducks. You catch."

"1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer"

"Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed."

"Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days."

"2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15"

"For sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50"

"Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks"

"Hummels - largest selection ever. 'If it's in stock, we have it!'"

"Georgia peaches, California grown - 89 cents lb."

"Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour."

"Vacation Special: have your home exterminated."

"Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours."

"Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!"

"Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast."

"Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it."

"This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens."

"Wanted. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers."

"Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop."

"Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person." 

"Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential."

"Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty."

"Mother's helper -- peasant working conditions."

"Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months."

"A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms."

"Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00."

"Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."

"His and hers bicycles, $25 each or both for $55."

"For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers."

"Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."

"Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory."

"We'll move you worldwide throughout the country."

"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."

"Tattoos done while you wait."

"Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."

"Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children."

"If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachaise Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin."

"Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else."

"Stock up and save. Limit: one."

"For Rent: 6-room hated apartment."

"Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes."

"TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets."

"This house has been fully insulted."

"Man, honest. Will take anything."

"Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!"

"Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."

"3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."

"Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."

"Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops."

"Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."

"Illiterate? Write today for free help."

"Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."

"Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating."

"Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale."

"And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."

"We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."  

Love is the only way

Dear Jude,
 
Thank you for the chuckles on a cold, rainy Saturday afternoon! Hard to pick a favorite!
 
Love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

"For sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50"

 
Gosh I remember him
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Hi Everyone!
 
 
 
 
[id=role_document color=#000040 size=4 font="times new roman"] Subject: How to sell a dead horse
>
>
>> Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer
>> agreed to deliver it the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and
>> said, "Sorry son,  but I have some bad news... the horse died."
>>
>> Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
>>
>> The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already. Chuck said,
>> "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
>>
>> The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
>>
>> Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
>>
>> The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
>>
>> Chuck said, "Sure I can, watch me.  I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
>>
>> A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened
>> with that dead horse?"
>>
>> Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece
>> and made a profit of $998."
>> The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
>> Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
>>
>> Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He's the one who figured
>> out how this "bail-out" is going to work.


 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

me

 
 
[size=3 font="times new roman"]me  
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"] 
[size=3 font="times new roman"]Too Funny, Jude!

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Diane, that was so funny! Especially the last line!! (or maybe it isn't )

Jude

Love is the only way

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package.

 

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised  not to make any rash moves. 

 

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

 

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a  misconception. 

 Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.  

 

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

 

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

 

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

 

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

 

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

 

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

 

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the ***holes in Washington.

 

 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

 my because I know too many doctors all nice  of course dear Edda

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

So funny!!
 
For Edda..... and all other nice doctors.

Love is the only way

buttington


So funny!!
 
For Edda..... and all other nice doctors.

Thank you!
 
I DO have a sense of humor!
 
And it is a rather clever play on words!
 
Love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

   

  

   I DO have a sense of humor!

I know you do Edda more so than me

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

 
 
oh so thats why the coffee drinkers are the way they are
 
gee just as well I drink tea

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥  


 

Thank you for the laughs.
Jude some of those were very funny. thank you
Diane, i dont know where you found those. but they are absolutly wonderful.  I saved them both.  Chuck in Montana and the AMA weighing in on the stimulus package.  Gotta laugh about it all every now and again.  thank you !!!!
Buba, loved the 1950s picture of the housewife drinking her speed.

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Well I am so good at giving advice
 
 
 
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. 

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. 

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. 

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. 

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. 

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. 

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. 

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. 

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' 

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze. 

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. 

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice 

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.. 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥