Laughter and the Positive Effects

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

 
This one needs to be pinned up in my home!
 
thank you Sandra....good to see these again.

Love is the only way

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

. . . isn't it funny
how we all have our favorites?
   ♥

everything counts... ♥

CREATIVE PUNS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He

     acquired his size from too much PI.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. As it turned out, he was an

      optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from a high school

     algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

10.. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other:

    'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. The sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center stated:

     'Keep Off The Grass.'

15. A young boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital.

When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was doing, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

17. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

18. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

19. A backward poet writes inverse.

20. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

21. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

22. Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

10.. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 
The old ones are often the best!

Love is the only way

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Who thinks this stuff up?!

everything counts... ♥

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 
15. A young boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. 

When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was doing, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 
 
Gosh that was so funny!
 
Thanks for the laughter, Betty!

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."

That one made me cry with laughter. Thank you, Jude. (Have had something of a difficult day, so it was appreciated.)

Bless you,

Shady

I have always said that God created me to improve the self-image of every woman who comes into our home.  They can leave saying--"I am so much better at keeping our house clean than Betty does with hers."  Now, I have more reasons.

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING! 

 



 
I don't do windows because ...

I love birds and

don't want one to run into a clean window

and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ...

I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt

then I'll feel terrible

( plus they may sue me.)


I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company,

I have named most of them,

and they agree with everything I say.




I don't disturb cobwebs because .

I want every creature to have a home of their own.




I don't Spring Clean because .

I love all the seasons

and don't want the others to get jealous




I don't pull weeds

in the garden because ..

I don't want to get

in God's way,

HE is an excellent designer!



I don't put things away because .

My husband

will never be able to find them again. 



 
I don't do gourmet meals
when I entertain because .

I don't want my guests to

stress out over what to make when

they invite me

over for dinner. 


  

I don't iron because ... 
  
I choose to believe them

when they say "Permanent Press".




I don't stress much on anything because ...

"A Type" personalities die young and

I want to stick around

and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!





REMEMBER . . . .
 




  

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

thank you Betty!

Love is the only way

Thank you, Betty!
 
You are listing some very sound principles for housekeeping!
They affirm what I believe!
 
I might add concerning dusting which my mother used to do EVERY day:
 
Dust does not run away, and if it does, open the door!
 
Edda

Peace and joy!

Oh dear Betty, you are excellent !!!Both with text and with gifs!
Thank you for make me laugh!

            B E T T Y

I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

 
Is that why I do that?

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Is that why I do that?

 
Well, it must be why I do it too, I hadn't thought of it that way before.

Love is the only way

These are wonderful, Betty!

I don't disturb cobwebs because .

I want every creature to have a home of their own.

 

Here is just one of my resident spiderwebs . . .

My own cleaning philosophy
is not to,
until people notice the difference
if you do.
You are a woman after my own heart!
A home with love
is forever blessed . . .
   ♥
 

everything counts... ♥

Here is just one of my resident spiderwebs . . .

 
I always tell people who notice my cobwebs, that I keep spiders as pets!
 
Jude

Love is the only way

Just received by email...
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1qHVVbYG8Y
 

Love is the only way

A new 'Simon's Cat' . . .
finally!
Well worth the wait!
He captures the cat so well . . .
   ♥

everything counts... ♥

 Living Will

Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and
I said to him, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

He got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw
out my wine.

Yesterday is gone forever.Tomorrow may not come. Live Fully each moment today. Look for Good Things that Happen to you Every Day.

Dear Betty,

Do you mean to say the woman was YOU and it was YOUR husband who did this? In that case you have a very astute husband!
Or were you just quoting?...

Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

Very Funny!
 
 
 
 

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are