Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, philosophy, psychology?

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Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, philosop... - 3/3/2008 2:33:46 PM

Friend

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Can anybody give examples of how grateful living is promoted by religion, philosophy, and/or psychology? Or even how it is discouraged by religion, philosophy, and/or psychology?

I'm a Christian, and I'm sure there are many ways in which the Christian faith promotes grateful living. For example, I was just reading how St. Ignatius' famous Spiritual Exercises ends with a contemplation that consists in recalling the many gifts we have received from God, beginning with the gift of existence itself. Also, regarding St. Ignatius' famous daily Examen of Consciousness, one of the steps is to look back over your day (and life as a whole) with gratitude for all the gifts, special moments, pleasures, goodness, blessings, etc. -- and thank God for all of them.

I've also read several books by Buddhist authors, and it seems that Buddhism also promotes grateful living. For example, I remember reading that one daily practice followed by many Buddhists is to take time each day to look back over the day in gratefulness for all the goodness that was present.

As for philosophy, I'd imagine that there were great philosophers who promoted grateful living -- but there where also great philosophers who didn't. For example, I'm pretty sure Sartre had a pessimistic view of life, with thoughts such as "existence is absurd" and "hell is other people."

As for psychology, I once came across this quote in a magazine I was reading while waiting to check out at the grocery store:

"Nurture your emotional health. Heart specialists at Scripps Hospital in La Jolla, Calif., say that taking the time to write about 10 things you are grateful for each day can help decrease stress hormones and increase your sense of well-being. In addition, a gratitude journal can begin to help change the way you perceive situations and the way you ultimately live your life."

Anybody else have any thoughts on how religion, philosophy, or psychology encourages or discourages the practice of grateful living?

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/3/2008 6:11:45 PM

joeharmony

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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Dear Friend

Welcome to the Forum

I've found that it's not the religion, faith, philosophy, psychology that promotes or discourages gratefulness, but the person's interpretation. All the major religions contain concepts of love and forgiveness and gratefulness, and some people are able to live by these. But they have also be used, and still are, to justify hatred, violence, genocide, inequality, fear, war ........

One of the most beautiful things about this forum is the openness, acceptance and generosity everyone shows, irrespective of their religion.

Amo cognito sum

With Love
Joe

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/4/2008 3:13:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: joeharmony

I've found that it's not the religion, faith, philosophy, psychology that promotes or discourages gratefulness, but the person's interpretation.

All the major religions contain concepts of love and forgiveness and gratefulness, and some people are able to live by these. But they have also be used, and still are, to justify hatred, violence, genocide, inequality, fear, war... One of the most beautiful things about this forum is the openness, acceptance and generosity everyone shows, irrespective of their religion.

Well sure, let's say that one looks at a great work of art, listens to a great piece of music, looks at something beautiful, watches an outstanding movie, reads an outstanding piece of literature, whatever... it's all going to come down to that person's interpretation, that person's conceptualization, that person's distinctive personal view, that person's opinion, that person's perception... all based on his or her experience, personality, biases, etc. The saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is very realistic.

Yet, that doesn't change the fact that religion, philosophy, and psychology are realistic aspects of the world we live in. You talked about religion and how it promotes love, forgiveness, and gratefulness -- as well as hatred, violence, genocide, inequality, fear, war. But you could also say somewhat similar things about our sex, race, age, cultural/national origin, educational level, etc, etc, etc.

But what I'm getting at in this thread here is that religion, philosophy, and psychology are realistic aspects of humankind, just like our sex, race, age, cultural/national origin, educational level, etc, etc, etc. And just like with our sex, race, age, cultural/national origin, educational level, etc, etc, etc... I hope that religion, philosophy, and psychology are all things we can be grateful for, especially if we can see how they promote gratefulness.

So back to my original question, what do you all think about how religion, philosophy, or psychology encourages or discourages the practice of grateful living?

Here's an article hosted by the psychology department of the University of California-Davis titled "Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness." It says that:

Scientists are latecomers to the concept of gratitude. Religions and philosophies have long embraced gratitude as...an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being.

And then it goes on "to provide a brief, introductory overview" explaining "the major findings to date of the research project" that shows some of the positives of grateful living.

http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/14/2008 3:07:56 PM

arows1faith

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quote:

Yet, that doesn't change the fact that religion, philosophy, and psychology are realistic aspects of the world we live in.

I don't really think that I'm in any way qualified to pose a point of view on the religion, philosophy, and psychology aspects that your inquiry focuses on, but I do have an opinion on how the economy, more specifically the marketing facet, discourages gratefulness in everyway, at every chance. I figure that 'marketing' is a realistic aspect of the world we live in, as well.

Look at WeightWatchers and Bally's: I may or may not be the first person in line when it comes to taking care of the body's health, but the marketing departments at Bally's and WeightWatchers are focused on weight, first. Now, I'm not saying that this is an absolute across-the-board assessment. As a matter of fact, one of the only 'weight loss' programs (really, it was a single commercial that inspired me) that has earned my respect is Jenny Craig. Queen Latifah promoted the Jenny Craig program in a commercial (dang, I can't find the commercial on-line to link to) and Latifah's reasoning was sound and conveyed quite realistically: Losing weight should be a health motivated decision, first. 'Looking good' and fitting into the 'skinny' jeans does not equate to better health. Plain and simple: good health preceeds good looks - not vice versa as those commercials that begin with "tired of the weight?" would lead you to believe. Good health is the goal, while 'looking good' (whatever that is....) is only the perk. In a very real and direct way, weight loss marketing campaigns emotionally manipulate viewers into not being grateful for healthy, curvy hips or swift, slender legs (I gots da skinny legs, and I can still cover a 50yd sprint in a few seconds).

My personal favorite: Commercials for starving children. I just love to consider the hours of time and amounts of brain power that go into creating the most guilt inducing 30 second spots on the tube. How am I to be grateful for a hard day's work, clothes on my back, and a plate full of food if my budget doesn't allow for a $90/month expense? Think about it: 3 big charities {to avoid any hot-buttons, I'll not name organizations} all need 'only a dollar a day.' Yet, "Shimalah will surely die tonight if I don't get on the phone right now and overdraft my checking account for a measily $30.00 to save Shimalah and her entire village." I know, there's a bit of extra sarcasm in that, but my point remains. This is a perfect example of the emotionally abusive marketing that is so agressively put before us (and don't even get me started on how this leads into de-sensitization) that, while as a society it seems quite innoculate, individual people can actually be impacted negatively, sometimes quite heavily. I could go on for hours about how seeing one of these commercials just before drifting off to sleep would, literally, spark a night of insomnia. "Why don't I have enough to make a difference?" "Only if I had more money." These are not the statements of a grateful mind (Richard, Edda: How 'bout following with some thoughts of a grateful mind, eh?), nor a grateful spirit.

OK, well I've rambled for quite a bit, but I chose two of the most glaring examples, IMHO, as 'common space' to cross-over to any life or mind. How would anyone possibly be grateful and content with his/her body if constantly bombarded with definitions of 'health' that can never be acheived (pay attention: bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors - not everyone can have Arnold's chest or Angelina's stomach)? No one will ever feel grateful and content with who they are if constantly told that they're not doing enough to meet the needs of others who are less fortunate.

I don't like the motivator: Money. Here's the mentality of a 'really good' marketer, in a nutshell: "OK, I need to sell product X. What's the easiest way to (A) Make people feel like what they currently have isn't 'good enough,' and (B) Project my product as though it's a god-send for addressing the inadequcies of the competition?"

Grateful = Good Enough (At the last minute, Imenuff, I realized that I'm going to look forward to your comment on this!)

To recap, I think the blatant emotional and psychological abuse of the 'successful techniques' that marketers employ to sell goods and services is inherently against gratefulness. Afterall, if you are content with what you have, there's little chance you'll go out and buy something to replace it with.

Many blessings, friends.

Arow

_____________________________

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/14/2008 4:41:19 PM

buttington

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Hi Arow,
Good to see you posting!

I'm not going to answer your post at any great length; just to say I agree with most of what you say.

It was a good point you made about 'weight loss' and one not paid enough attention to. Most overweight people are compensating for what's lacking in their lives, and by not eating healthily are not loving themselves either. A few years ago I saw some people on Oprah's show saying just this, and it makes sense that, to successfully reach a healthy weight, people need to address their emotional reasons for eating the wrong food and too much of it.

The starving children issue is also appealing to the wrong emotions. We need to care about ourselves, our neighbours, our environment, our world, our Universe. If we could see every person in the world as a part of ourselves no-one would go hungry. That goes for wars too.

Love and Blessings, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/14/2008 6:56:44 PM

arows1faith

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'Allo, blessed Judy. I'm grateful for having the capacity to post again, as well.

As I re-read my post and yours, I noticed that I did not side-note starvation in the same light as you did; and I do agree with you on the idea of a global communal village - the idea that we are responsible for us. However, the emotional/psychological manipulation that is woven into the requests of helping these children, for me, is quite effective at hindering my gratefulness. There are times I've actually felt guilty because I do not have more resources to allow me to help as I want to, hence the sleepless nights I'd mentioned. (In this argument, I need to ask myself, "Where is it, then, that I can help." But that is another topic, I'm sure!)

I was drawn to posting on this thread because I've developed a new technique for recognizing gratefulness, as I can never have too many tools with which to do so. At one point, I'd asked myself "Is there anything to not be grateful for?" because I'd been finding gratefulness in so many people, places, thoughts, actions. Eventually, this manifested into simply recognizing environments where gratefulness is discouraged and excluded, passively or aggressively. Weight loss commercials and similar adverts, I'd noticed, are written with guilty ink from the pen of regret; their target being any individual that does not feel acceptance, for themselves or others. And it is so very hard to be grateful when surrounded by constant, negative condemnation of one's own worth, abilities, and/or importance.

And it's 6pm and there's still plenty of sunlight to walk home with shades on.

Blessed Be,

Arow

_____________________________

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

Post #: 6

RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 1:07:49 AM

Imenuff

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This is just a quick post to say WELCOME BACK Arow. There are many thoughts splashing around in regard to your post but it's been a llllllllllllllllloooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggg and very tiring day and I am not sure they would make much sense right now. It is good to have you back again.

Blessings on your weekend.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 6:43:17 AM

buttington

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Dear Arow. I think, if we are not "giving" from our hearts then it isn't giving. These adverts are encouraging guilt, and giving from a place of guilt is not true giving either.

I remember being shocked when my challenging spiritual teacher said something like, "We have to know that, on some level, the starving and the dying are OK and 'safe.' If we feel moved to help them in any way then we should, otherwise we must leave it to those who are so moved. And, if we can't physically or financially help them we can always pray. Thoughts become reality."

Eventualy I began to understand this new way of thinking and realized I need not feel guilty, as, I have no money to spare for them and if I went to help them in person I would soon be the one in need of medical attention.

It's our thinking that needs changing. Everyone is our 'brother or sister' and we are all connected. Thoughts are so powerful and are the first step towards changing the world. "Feed my sheep" starts with my neighbour......someone or something I can help with, and my change in thinking 'infects' others and spreads out like ripples on a pond.

To mention another concern of yours, I can't save the world single-handed, but if I do my best to recycle everything I can, then this may encourage others to do it.

Similarly, making people feel they don't fit the norm, or don't have the perfect body/face etc. is counterproductive. We are all perfect, just the way we are, warts and all. From that place we can start to grow.

I hope the sun shines on you in abundance this weekend,

Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 11:30:44 AM

Imenuff

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Dear Arow,
This has to be quick. As one who is Catholic/Christian and very involved in church, at the beginning of Holy Week there is much to be taken care of, more to be finished than seemingly time to finish it.

Let’s begin with your statements about the advertisements – can this negative emotional/psychological manipulation become gratefulness for you? The fact of sleepless nights in concern for these children shows strong deep positive compassion for and connectedness with the suffering of others worldwide and so it reminds you that you are basically a very compassionate person who sees the world inhabitants as family - a real source for gratitude for the gift of such compassion. All the weight loss advertising – again can this negative become a source of gratitude for you?? Seeing this as emotionally abusive marketing shows that you are not interested in size, shape, color, etc. The value of a person lies in the fact that they are—As the word NAMATE means –I bow to the spirit of the Divine in you who also is in me. Gratitude for being able to see that it is not what you look like, your education, what you have that make you worthwhile, rather that you ARE. Both of these real gifts of seeing with clear insight and both real reason for gratitude.

What can you do—Perhaps in a lot of regards, you have already done and will continue to do a lot just by your post. We all know that these threads are read by many who do not post. How many who have never seriously thought about such concepts will look at things a little differently because of your post. The pebble has been dropped into the ocean of humanity and no matter how miniscule the ripples may visibly seem, they continue going outward.

To borrow from Jude’s spiritual guide, he/she was very wise in saying And, if we can't physically or financially help them we can always pray. Thoughts become reality."

There is a story of someone the Catholic tradition calls a “Saint”. Her name is Therese of Lisieux. At a very young age, everything in her heart and soul burned to become a missionary. When she attempted to join a missionary order or nuns, she was refused because of poor health. She joined a cloistered order of nuns (those who devote their lives to “nothing” more than prayer). She died in her mid 20’s having never spent a day as a missionary. Yet the Church honors her as the patron of all Missionaries. She devoted her entire short life of prayer in the cloister to “praying” for all missionaries. One of her favorite sayings was “if I can’t do great things, I can do small things in a great way.”

So often there is the feeling that “all I can do is pray, of there’s nothing left to do but pray/send positive energy, hold in positive thought connected with the divine. Yet, this is probably THE MOST POWERFUL “THING” WE CAN DO. As with Therese, we can take all those things we “hate” to do, swallow hard and do them lovingly as a gift of positive energy/prayer for those who are so in need. Normally, we cannot “see” any tangible results from this but we can know that there have been those who have gone before us who have had a tremendous impact on the world by “doing the small things in a great way.”

Sounds like there is an awful lot of sunshine of compassion and caring go out from within toward the family of humankind. Yes, Arow, you obviously are "Goodenuff!"

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff

Post #: 9

RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 12:37:35 PM

buttington

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Betty, how beautifully put.

There has been a recent TV series here called "How to look good naked." Fashion guru Gok Wan has the right idea of empowering women who feel badly about themselves, to learn to love themselves just as they are. Part of his 'cure' is to dress them in clothes which make them look beautiful whatever their size or body shape, then photograph them naked, in a tasteful way, and finally to have them as part of his fashion cat-walk show. Real women in other words, not these stick thin victims of the fashion industry who do nothing for ordinary women's self esteem.
The effect of this programme has been a succession of advertisements showing real women of all ages, particularly older women, doing things like modelling toiletries and hair products. Unheard of before now, but they seem to be waking up to the obvious danger to young girls and women, and also boys and men, of the unnatural and unhealthy ( and to my mind downright unnattractive) image of 'thinness.'

So, I can feel gratefulness as well as compassion for all those 'stick insect' models who have awakened some of the fashion industry. The rest of us (thankfully) don't look like that.

Jude

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Love is the only way

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 5:21:05 PM

Thankful one

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Arow, Betty and Jude,
I would to offer an AMEN to what has been said before.

Women are told they need to look like the "stick figure" to appeal to men. The truth is that many of us men find that image and those body types distasteful and disrespectful to who the person is inside the outer body.

Who wants to be with someone who cannot accept herself for who she is and abuses herself to look like these models? How could they possibly accept me for who I am?

Having said that, people who disrespect their bodies and become excessively fat are also disrespecting themselves.

I sort of see it as that we are God's caretakers of this physical form. We should not abuse it with harmful practices, harmful drugs or harmful thoughts. We should enjoy our bodies and use them in a respectful and appropriate manner knowing that each of us was made differently.

Each one of use is beautiful as we are. We do not have flaws - they are all beauty marks. Beauty comes from our relationship with ourselves.

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RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/15/2008 5:33:50 PM

buttington

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"Each one of us is beautiful as we are. We do not have flaws - they are all beauty marks. Beauty comes from our relationship with ourselves."

Thankful one, those three sentences are truly inspiring and beautiful.

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 12

RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/21/2008 7:06:36 PM

arows1faith

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Ahhh, Miss Betty - I tell you, you hit it on the head. 'Tis true, my goal was in attempting to recognize where gratefulness is discouraged, etc., but as so often you eloquently do, you pointed out that just noticing the biased in those adverts was an act of gratitude, in and of itself. It somewhat reminds me of what happened when the bank I worked at was held-up at gunpoint: Immediately after an 'incident' you are supposed to write down every detail of what you can recall. When the FBI agent took my notes and finished transcribing them to his notebook, he looked at me and asked, "And can you remember the suspect's race or ethnicity?" I remembered it, sure. But my mind hadn't considered it a 'critical' detail - so I didn't write it down. Yeah, in this instance physical appearance could be important, but my mind is so accustomed to treating 'skin color' as nothing worth noticing that I didn't, in fact, 'notice.' For good or bad, for that one reason I was quite happy with myself that day (I even made a point to mention it on my personal page!).

Judy you make a delicious point, too! - I'll be able to help when a moment comes that needs my help; a moment made for me to make a difference. Just because I'm unable doesn't mean I can justify feeling guilty about it.

I can't help but get frustrated sometimes, though. I think of all the people who are just one thought away from realizing themselves - and then one of those {explative deleted} adverts pops into their lives - exiling them further from self-realization. Alas, the empathy! Can you feel me? LOL

"It is what it is; it ain't what it ain't. Don't make it into something it isn't"

I'm grateful. Period!

Many blessings, sweet spirits.

BTW, Happy Spring (the blessed Vernal Equinox)!

_____________________________

The Goddess is alive and there is magick afoot.
Arow Blackdragon
Valley of the Kings

Post #: 13

RE: Grateful living -- is it promoted by religion, phil... - 3/22/2008 7:13:48 AM

buttington

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Arow, I love that you didn't 'notice' the skin colour of the bank robber, though, as you say, it would have been useful

If it's TV adverts you are talking about, I always turn the sound off for them, or if I've pre-recorded something I can then fast-forward through them. So, if someone mentions a particular advert to me I honestly don't know what they are talking about. They annoy me toooooooooo much.