Loss of a loved one

Loss of a loved one (Full Version)

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deliz -> Loss of a loved one (5/6/2008 5:18:00 PM)
this is hard to start. I feel so empty inside I lost my husband to cancer and I am so lost with out him. He was a very nice person. Why do such nice people have to leave our lives? Can some one answer that for me? I still can not figure that out.

Hildegard -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/6/2008 6:42:06 PM)
Welcome to the forum, Deliz! I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. My heart goes out to you in your grief. I don't have an answer to your question. There are several others who have lost a loved one who ask the same questions. I can assure you of one thing - many here want to accompany you in your grief, support you and pray for you. Please, feel free to return here often and share your thoughts and feelings. Many feel it helps to have a safe place for sharing. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Wishing you comfort and peace, Much love, Edda

buttington -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/6/2008 6:43:19 PM)
Dear Deliz, I am so sorry to hear you lost your husband. Why good people have to leave us is an impossible question to answer, but I wish there could be some comfort for you. Some people believe that God needs that person for a very special mission. It depends on your belief. Personally, I believe that we are all born with a purpose, and when that purpose is fulfilled we leave this life. Perhaps we come back to live another life, with another purpose.......I don't know. None of this will be of any comfort to you at the moment. Time will make it less painful. Take each day one at a time and do just what helps at the time. Meanwhile, think about the good fortune that this good man came into your life, and the good times you had together. Finding a good mate is not so easy and I'm glad you did, even though losing him is so much harder because of it. Please come back and talk to us some more. We are always here to listen, and help if we can. Love Jude

bernie -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/7/2008 8:28:26 PM)
Dear 'loss of a loved one' - without a doubt, this is one of the greatest stressors ever; though, of course, in the grieving process there is so much to find in reconciling yourself with him at a deeper level. The spirit dimension is the other side which we'll all eventually, yes, sooner or later, enter; and in doing so it is very comforting because we are reunited w/ all those loved ones that have already passed & w/ our heavenly Father who is always there for us for all eternity. This is just temporal; the other dimension is forever and ever, our spiritual home. Loss & separation are painful, but ultimately there is reconciliation which will surely follow as God in His infinite wisdom foresees.

Thankful one -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/7/2008 11:47:08 PM)
Deliz, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband to cancer. I don't have any answers to you but will share some words that have helped me cope with a loss. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. I'm glad that you have come to share with us and can certainly attest to the comfort that this group has brought to me in my own time of loss. I would like to send you some welcoming sweet pea flowers. [image]http://www.mooseyscountrygarden.com/hampton-court-flower-show-marquees/pastel-sweetpea-flowers.jpg[/image]

ananda -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/8/2008 1:02:52 AM)
Dear Deliz, sorry for your loss. Here is a song for you. Hope you find some comfort in it. May you be blessed. Jessica http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=xHCISYQW5bg&feature=related

J1937 -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/8/2008 1:40:20 AM)
Dear Deliz, My heart goes out to you. Let me share two images with you which came to me spontaneously when I lost my husband. Years later I still find them comforting. If you can see pain walking by your side like a gentle brother, you will never despair. You may now feel as if your heart had been torn out of you. Only half of your heart, though. It is still whole: Your husband has left you half of his, and no-one can take it from you. Feel the warm hugs of a distant sister. Juliana _____________________________ Speak Peace in a World of Conflict

buttington -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/8/2008 1:06:40 PM)
Julana, thank you for sharing that - it's such a beautiful thought. Jude

IIdog -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/9/2008 1:09:07 AM)
My heart goes out to you as I have lost three children, two adults and one 18 month old baby girl. My son was 44 he died Oct of 2006, a daughter 35 died July of 1995. After my son died in 2006 I've had different thoughts on just about everything including God. I've been attending a grief group that has helped me and being of service to others in some small way helps me more than anything else. I wouldn't have made it without my grief group. The group has taught me many things about grief and what to expect from myself and others.

Hildegard -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/9/2008 8:29:18 AM)
Welcome to the forum, MJ! I am so very sorry for your losses! My heart goes out to you! I am glad that your grief group has been helpful to you. There are several in this forum who have lost loved ones and understand the pain of loss. Everyone here is happy to offer support and encouragement. Please, visit often and share with us whatever you wish. Wishing you peace and comfort, Much love, Edda

celtic star -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/9/2008 8:30:26 AM)
Deliz and Ildog, I am so sorry for your losses and my heart goes out to you both. I hope that you find support and companionship here. Glenys x

deliz -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/9/2008 8:34:15 PM)
I want to thank everyone that has answered, That has helped I enjoy reading things like prayers and poems. May God bless you all. I am so sorry to hear about everyone else's loss I know how you feel. One more question? Can the deceased hear whne you talk to them?

Hildegard -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/9/2008 9:20:23 PM)
Dear Deliz, I believe that the ones who are no longer physically with us are very close to us. I also believe that they can hear us, especially what we say in our hearts. Much love, Edda

buttington -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/10/2008 10:12:26 AM)
Dear deliz, I agree with Edda that the deceased are very close to us and can certainly hear us when we talk to them. I have recently lost 2 people from the same family, and was amazed when I started hearing my Mother-in-law answering my questions, even though she had just died. We had several conversations and cleared up a lot of misunderstandings and worries for me. And last night I heard that I probably wouldn't get to my brother-in-law's funeral and it really upset me, as I've known him since he was 14 and was very fond of him. Now, because I'm divorced and not strictly speaking a member of their family anymore, I feel like an outsider, while my children aren't. I have a picture of the two of the deceased together,taken 30 years ago, and I looked at it and heard my brother-in-law's voice say, "I don't mind if you are not there. We know you want to come, so don't worry" I know they won't mind, but I do. However, to hear him say it, is a comfort. I used to be a bit scared to allow anyone who had recently died to contact me, but now I realize that Love never dies and of course they would want to still be able to talk to me. there's nothing scary about it! So, talk away deliz. You might also get a reply. Love Jude

bernie -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/10/2008 11:03:51 AM)
Dear 'loss of a loved one', yes, most likely, those who have passed are aware of our heartfelt prayers & sometimes will even communicate w/ us in subtle, mysterious ways to let us know that they are always very close to us. Sometimes, too, we may actively participate with the other side in our dreamwork in lucid or semi-lucid dreams which are ways of facilitating deeper kinds of unity spiritually...we are truly spirits having a human existence, i.e., as body-mind-spirit (ontopsychosomatic) entities or continuums. And as we integrate & unify ourselves we heal ourselves holistically, integrally, unitively in our journey thru nature - wisdom - final happiness. Dante, for instance, as he consummated his Divine Comedy experienced a Beatific Vision in which the whole is finally experientially brought into perspective nondually - for to split, to dichotomize is to pathologize.

sharon -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/10/2008 6:44:08 PM)
Dear Deliz I am sorry for the loss of your husband my thoughts are with you all sharon

Marinianora -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/24/2008 2:03:53 PM)
Hello Deliz, I am very very young and just joined. But when I hear a sad story my heart goes out to you. I do believe when you want to talk to them....they may answere back. It's hard to explain but you get feelings inside yourself like, an answere of some sort. To me, I would say that if you lost your husband, that you should grab something like...a photo of him or something that you and he are very attached to. Something that makes you feel closer to him, and thus talk to him, tell him how you feel, what you're going through, what was in the news....I lost a VERY close pet of mine. SHe was a cockatiel named Catie. She had one leg missind and she died at the age of 36 maybe even older but we knew she died of old age. We buried her in our front yard under a hollow log and planted flowers within the log. I would say goodmorning to her everyday I went to school and I would get this feeling....that she says hello to me back. It warms my heart. But still I shall give my self a moment of silence to remember what you grieve and hope you make it through. I remember she had been in our family for many many years. I hope you feel much better soon, Emily

buttington -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/24/2008 7:42:44 PM)
Dear Emily, welcome to the Forum. In my experience, there is very little difference in how we feel, between the loss of a beloved pet and a family member or friend. I can identify with how you feel about your cockatiel, and have had experiences just like yours after people I know have died. I also had a vivid dream soon after my pet cat Willow died. In the dream he had come back to life, and was well again. In the dream he miaowed at me and I woke up.I felt that the dream was to assure me that he was indeed well again and in a happy place. A message from him. I hope you will visit us again and share some more of your wisdom. Jude

carolken -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/28/2008 7:10:42 PM)
Hi Deliz: My condolences to you in the loss of your husband. I also lost mine last May and it has been the same question. Why do the nice ones leave first? I have not found an answer to it either but am meeting some wonderful friends to share my grief along the way and welcome you to a great forum. I just found this forum a few days ago myself and already it is helping a lot. I started by lighting a few candles for my husband then found this forum. So glad I did and my heart goes out to you along with others. Loss is very hard to cope with but we don't have to do it alone and for that I am so grateful. God Bless.

buttington -> RE: Loss of a loved one (5/29/2008 1:36:12 PM)
Dear Caroline, I'm pleased that the forum is helping you. I'm sure we would all agree with that. Most of us came to it at a pretty low time in our lives, and were picked up by the likes of Edda and Betty and others who care. Welcome to the family! Jude

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