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Please light a candle for me. - 7/16/2008 1:43:18 AM   
AngellaNBabys

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		My name is Angella. I have never been much for prayer. But at this point the only thing I have to turn to is the higher power above. I am so lost in words. I hope you all don't judge me.
 
I am 9 months pregnate. And I feel like I wont be able to raise this child. I am already a single mother of one. It just I have nothing for this child. I feel so empty. I have been with man for almost 9 years now. And this is are first child together. He is not much support of my pregnancy. And wants no part of it. I cant even get him to touch my belly or even go to a doctor appointment with me. He is a very selfish person. We dont live together. He don't believe in the whole getting married thing. And he has made my pregnancy a very lonley one. He puts me down every chance he gets. I am just alone.
 
I have looked into adoption. And in the state of Ohio. The father has to sign off to give the child up. Also my little girl is so excited about the new baby. I would hate to take something so joyful in her life away. She just lights up every time we go to the doctors. And she gets to here the babys heart beat.
 
I have made the mistake of getting pregnate. And like I said, I dont have much for the baby. Cloths, and a crib. I get little by little. I can not work anymore. Because my pregnancy has taken such a toll on my body. And I am always in pain. I am just so confused.
 
 
I wanted to know if everyone can help me by prayer. I have seen so many wonderful things threw this site happen from just praying. And lighting a candle.
 
I just need to be guided to a better state of mind. And hopefully god will help me threw this all. And help me figure out my next step. And also give me to leave the horrible relationship that I am in. Because I so scared of being along.
 
Thankyou everyone..
 
My group is Symon. That is the babys name
Post #: 1
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/16/2008 1:56:00 AM   
AngellaNBabys

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		I also wanted to add to my post.

I am still very excited about the baby also.  I just wish my life was in a better place. And not the path that I decided to take. I hope you all understand that.
Post #: 2
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/16/2008 8:10:02 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2151
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Angela,

I will light a candle for you and your children. Only you can decide what is best for yourself and the little ones. Find support from others so you aren't dependent on the baby's father.

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 3
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/16/2008 8:41:28 AM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2645
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Dear Angella, welcome to the forum! I am sorry you find yourself in such difficult circumstances. I'll be glad to pray for you and light a candle in your group.

We certainly don't judge you. We all make mistakes. What is important is to accept the consequences and deal with them as best as we can.

I don't know where you live, but there should be help available. You could contact the social service agency in your community or turn to a church community even if you don't belong to one. At least they can point you in the right direction knowing what is available in your community. You are certainly not the only one in your situation!

Wishing you courage and hope,
Much love,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 4
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/18/2008 3:59:15 AM   
AngellaNBabys

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Thankyou everyone for your kind words. I know that I will make it threw this.  I just need to pray and to make it to the next chapter of my life when this little girl is here.

I have alot to live for, and alot to fight for. Thank you everyone for fighting along side me.
Post #: 5
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/19/2008 10:39:05 AM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 445
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		AngellaNBabys
welcome to a place of respite and hope I encourage you to visit daily we are your cyber family in faith
 
I am a 57 year old grandmother of 5. I was a single unwed mother (in the early seventies not a historical time of acceptance) and I am writing to say I know your heart and soul my childrens Father was angry at my second pregnancy our first child was 8 months old....he became abusive when I refused to terminate my pregnancy and eventually began another relationship...It was so hard to express my joy and desire for my children but I kept praying to God to resolve my issues and he did!!!! My daughters are the light of my life they gave me hope and led me to the Blessed Mother often....it all worked out and they have 5 children who now keep me busy...as does my community work with families.
I found many community support groups, counselors, churches who helped me to be able to own and express my feelings and grow into wonderful new experiences both as a mother and a woman I have no regrets!!!!
Bless you and your babies who are sent to better enrich this world.
Namaste
Hope coach
Barbara T

_____________________________

Our Glory Is not In Never Falling
Our Glory Is Rising Every Time We Fall
Confuscious
Post #: 6
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/19/2008 3:31:09 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2645
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Dear Barbara,

Thank you for sharing so generously your very personal experience with Angella, and us. The way you have worked your way through all the challenges, with God's help you would say, is certainly inspiring and encouraging for someone at the beginning of this journey.

Much love,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 7
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/25/2008 11:39:59 PM   
kitonthemoon

 

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, Angela,

My heart goes out to you...and please don't worry about being judged here, 'cuz I'm sure that no one will.

Being single mom is tough, but many moms are very successful at it. I wish I could have children like you do, unfortunately, I had endometriosis and wined up haing few miscarriages.   I would do anything to have a child in my life.  But I made peace with it and I'm fine.

Candle will be lit on your and your babies behalf.  Stay in faith and God bless.

Kit
Post #: 8
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/27/2008 10:26:24 AM   
Vicky

 

Posts: 362
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline 		Angela, My heart goes out to you. This should be such a happy time in your life. You have many decisions to make, and only you can make them. One important one you should make - remove the baby's father from your life. You DESERVE much better than he is providing. Look out for your daughter, she will understand and will be proud of whatever you decide. Make the best choice you can. You will not he judged here only blessed and supported.
I too, suggest finding information where you live for help if you decide to keep your baby. Also, keep in mind there are many childless loving people out there if your choice is adoption. Bless you and I pray for only the best for you. 
Vicky
Post #: 9
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/29/2008 1:28:09 PM   
mamaluvskids

 

Posts: 140
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		I want to tell you that I am praying for you. I hope that all goes well and that God will help you make the right decision for you and your baby. I can tell you from previous experience that if you decide to keep the baby, there's nothing you can't do if you raise a child as a single parent. My 1st child was raised just by me and it was difficult because I felt that I was alone and I had no one to turn to. I also felt that I would not be able to find someone that was willing to take on a baby that was not theirs and to love me too. I was wrong. My son is now 8 years old and I have remarried and also have a step-son and have had 3 more children since then. Please don't hesitate to keep in touch with me if you need someone to lean on. May God bless you and help you in this hard time.
Post #: 10
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/29/2008 3:24:23 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2645
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forum, Joya!

Thank you for sharing your experience with Angella to reassure her as she faces her personal challenges. You have found your way, and so can she.

I hope you will visit often to continue sharing with us your wisdom. There is so much we can learn from each other!

Wishing you everything good,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 11
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/29/2008 3:49:38 PM   
Marie M.

 

Posts: 1125
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Angella, welcome to the forum. I will keep you in my prayers. I agree with Edda to look into support from your community church or other organizations that may be able to help you with your needs and the support of having them to turn to, and keep coming here, there is great support within this forum.

There is no reason to accept abuse whether it is emotional, verbal or physical from the man in your life because he is not accepting of your situation. You deserve better than that and so does your child. I feel very strongly of that, having been in a similar situation and have realized this is wrong, and chose a better way of life.

Prayers for you,
God bless
Marie
 
Post #: 12
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/29/2008 7:23:24 PM   
Judy Williams

 

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, I am Judy In west tennessee. I  am afraid of being alone too. You know i am not so much afraid as I was, because i have been praying more and thring to be thankful as you are doing.
Hon, you are in a bad situtation with  the father of your baby. Is there any way you can move away from  where he is, and maybe even  move with a friend?
also sign up for freecycle.com  in your area, and craigslist, put an ad in craigslist for what u need and look in the free section. I don't have any sibilings or children, when I was married to an abusive man, I miscarried at about 8 weeks, and I was aso scared. I am praying for you, and want you to know, I am Juditutie on yahoo messenger feel free to e- mail me at Juditutie@yahoo.com  I am glad ur letter girl is so excited,,, hugs and God Bless you ,your little girl and baby on the way. You have friends here. hug, Judy Williams
Post #: 13
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 7/29/2008 8:08:57 PM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 445
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Angela
dont spend any more time beating your self up...we all trusted someone once and were disappointed by them...I was struggling at first as a single parent then loved it no more confusion I wanted to raise my babies and I did our story is so much alike except when I stopped beating me my life got better
Here is something that helped me when I went to the hospital I asked for the social worker they connected me with help for cribs etc. Also if you can apply for some finanacial aid, WIC gives you formula and some food products....the hosiptal social worker or dept of human services.
Betty I found a web site dedicated to St Ann it was truly meant for you as I had typed in my search "Prayers for the Ill or Infirmed" I will try to find the address again it was truly beautiful with a guided Novena et al I know exactly how you feel as you sit there with dear Paul and how wonderful that he took communion as well Blessed Be so let us give the glory to the Holy One who leads me as he needs me to reach others with what they need. Edda one of my most impactive, memories of my shifts in the Emergency Room was following a code witnessing the doctor embracing the patients wife and crying as they held on to one another such a beautiful act of trusting God together as they each let go. Jude so happy for your good fortune to have a counseling session just for you and seeing your young buzzards I too have had a few email issues perhaps it is the world wide web that is suffering a sun spot Juliana as I bake here in the heat I try to imagine your beautiful mountains and the air thin and crisp what a brief and memorable coolness comes over me I wish I could fly I woud love to take the Switzerland trip well all I am sore and exhausted Betty wll relate me and my grandson began pulling up the tile today to have new kitchen floor laid down Please send prayers for Munchie the cat to be fostered by an interested family we will know tomorrow he is a lovely little guy my landlady will not let me keep him here for Dina Also Im going to add my gratitudes for health, energy, lovig people who support my community work, God walking before me making the path straight and all of you
Namaste
Hope Coach

_____________________________

Our Glory Is not In Never Falling
Our Glory Is Rising Every Time We Fall
Confuscious
Post #: 14
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/1/2008 2:19:58 AM   
AngellaNBabys

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Hello to everyone. I thought I would send a little note. And thank all of your for your prayers and kind words. Life has been a little crazy for me . I have been very ill and unable to walk. I am in alot of pain. and the doctor will be taking the baby on Augest 14. So I hope all will go well with the delivery.

I have been able to buy the baby more items. And got help from a local agency to get the babys a few items. The only think I have left to get her is a car seat and stroller, and some more cloths. So for that I am happy. its more then I ever thought I would have for her.

The babys father is still around, and making my life not so happy. He just is not there for me. And he is so selfish. And seems like he only cares about what he wants. And not about me. Even with all the pain I have been in. And all the water I have in my legs and hands. I still get up every day and make sure that my 8 year old it taken care of, the house is clean, the yard is done (yes I mow my own lawn) and meals are prepaired. Its very hard. And most days I am going on about 4 hours of sleep. But I do what I have to. And pray that it will all pay off in the end.

I have been speaking to a counsler about my issues with my boyfriend. And I know I need to leave him. I start to, and then I get scared. And not of him. But scared to hurt his feelings.

I did consider giving the baby up for adoption. but I cant do it. I dont have it in me to do it. And I cant take something that means so much to my daughter and myself away. She lights up every time she hears the babys heart beat. And she is so very excited.

I know that I have taken this path in life. And this is what I decided. I just wish that it was not so hard. Or that I would have picked a better life partner. Someone that was there to help me more. And someone that would be more excited about this little life growing inside of me.

I am still very confused. But I know with prayer, and people to talk to it will all pay off in the end. I dont have many friends. So speaking to you all means alot to me. More then you will ever know. Its nice to talk to people that dont look down on me. And are there to support me. And the crazy part is you all really dont know me. And yet you welcome me with open arms.. So I thankyou for that..

angella
Post #: 15
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/1/2008 5:36:49 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2151
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear Angella,
I don't think the baby's father is mature enough to be a real support to you and your children, and maybe he never will be. At the moment, the relationship sounds destructive for you and your little ones. I feel you would do better to find support elsewhere and finish the relationship.

I hope you have the courage to do what is right for you and your children.

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 16
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/1/2008 11:03:00 AM   
AngellaNBabys

 

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Your right. The father is not ready for another child. He does have a daughter who is 13. He is very good to her. But I think its just me. I dont think he wanted a child with me.

And I have looked for help. And I am going to raise this child with all the love I can give her.
Post #: 17
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/1/2008 11:23:25 AM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2645
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Dear Angella, it is good to hear that you are doing all the right things to prepare for the baby (expcept not getting enought sleep!) You do need your rest with all the swelling and discomfort you experience. I always remind myself that dust doesn't run away! I am glad your doctor and your counselor are helping you. As to your baby's father, I don't think it is necessarily you, but the thought of the demands of a baby! A young girl isn't easy but has different needs. If he stays around, perhaps you could invite him to mow the lawn and tidy up the yard?!

I keep you in my prayers and have been lighting candles for you,

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda 

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 18
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/6/2008 8:35:03 AM   
Star5776

 

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		Sweet Angel....so much love here for you and around you....

Praying for love and light to fill your heart and soul during these times....may the spirit of your child to be fill you with all the love that is there for you....

Praying for angels to guide you and to sing you to sleep....

With love,
Tara x

Post #: 19
RE: Please light a candle for me. - 8/10/2008 7:01:20 AM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 445
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Angela
I send good thoughts and prayers to you Im praying that St Gerard surounds you with protection and guidance during your preperation for delivery you will receive the strength you need and small miracles are provided all along the way look for your guarduian angels they are there representing the God of Love Namaste
Hope coach
Barbara T
 
“Unmarried Mother”
 
Unmarried mothers are born not created they’re a special breed of women
who can tolerate intense situations to love a child so deeply to some is a crime defying the natural order to replace the moral with a rhyme.
 
While pressing the warm body to your breast always striving to do your best Caution must precede your step or you may fail a neighbor’s test don’t sing too loud or appear too proud for your child’s father cannot be found.
 
Your love is measured constantly your actions watched incessantly but your heart your desire your flesh is exactly like the rest you conceived in no special style the pain at birth prolonged the same while your crowning was as dramatic as the next a child moist and warm placed upon your chest.
 
From that moment on your heart forever torn your punishment begins for your heart can hardly win your motherhood will be challenged everyway the love for your child tested everyday the family you created will place you in a dual role you will be mother, father and soul.
 
As society screams and yells the neighbors negative whispers and judgment of hell while you stand there your child’s hand held in yours you can only feel proud with a loving surge and know in your heart this is not a gift earned no honor bestowed for a job well done God peered from the heaven knowing all the while you were the one.
 
Who possessed the special love and strength to mother alone this child heaven sent for motherhood at its best can be a test some women experience this in a naturally accepted way they are supported and celebrated each passing dayTo women who are like me we have been given the over abundance of love to raise our children intentionally despite the fact we were left free.


written by
Barbara DeHart-Titone
1980


_____________________________

Our Glory Is not In Never Falling
Our Glory Is Rising Every Time We Fall
Confuscious
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