buttington
Posts: 2151
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
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Dear Lynn, I also would like to honour your father's birthday. It was nice to hear you say that you accepted him as he was. That's the lesson we all have to learn, often about our parents. After all, just like us now as parents ourselves, they did the best they could.
I remember doing an exercise, I think after reading "The Celestine Prophesy," where I had to list the pros and cons of being the child of my parents. What things they had taught me by just being the sort of parents they were. It was a very useful exercise. I learned tollerance from my Mother who, to my amazement at first, was very kind to girls who became pregnant. (I wasn't, at the time that is) She, in all innocence and ignorance, became pregnant before marriage. She knew absolutely zilch about how babies came about. That was a big lesson for me, a very puritan child who was judgemental about a lot of things.
Because of my Father's weakness as a husband and father, with a bullying nature, I was very much damaged mentally, but have come to a place where I can see more clearly that he wasn't perfect like I wanted him to be, but, as I said, doing the best he could. It took years, but he is forgiven and I know he wasn't a bad man, just weak. He was an excellent provider and loved us all in his way. Strangely, Lynn, it would have been his 99th birthday on the 27th.!! So, here's to them both.
Love, Jude
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Love is the only way
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RE: broken hearts... - 
) is really my friend who gave me that bit of wisdom. Most things I pass on in the forum originated with her. She was way ahead of me and most people I knew, and I call her my "Spiritual teacher" because she started me off on the spiritual path. I was a very rebellious pupil though and she had to tell me many times before I realized she was usually, (actually always 
) right. She was also the therapist who I worked on my feelings about my Father with, and the idea that we are all doing the best we can at any given time, came from her too. We are learning all the time, and what seemed nonsense last year, makes absolute sense this year.
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