Marie M.
Posts: 1123
Joined: 3/11/2007
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Jen, this is my perspective on dealing with someone with addiction problems/alcoholism and my perspective only. I Am Not a qualified professional. I am a Mother that has lost my firstborn, my child to the vicious cycle of Drug Abuse and what it has done to My family.
After my sons passing, I had many of his friends come forward and tell me of the horror stories of his addictions and drugs, I had never knew he had taken. I wish they had come forward at the time of his taking them. But as his friends they wanted to protect him and not get him in trouble. Could this have saved his Life? Possibly. Friends? Not by the definition of a True friend. They had enabled them to hide his addictions. They were his co-dependent. They gave him gas money, cigarette money etc. No, I believe he used the money for drugs.
My knowledge has come to me through reading and tapping into websites on addiction and rehab and talking with professionals on the subject.
Stand by the addicted person but draw the line. Have an Intervention with friends, family and someone who is familiar with handling a drug Intervention. Expose their habit to family and friends. Later they May thank you. The addict/alcoholic likes to hide and cover up their addiction and will tell people you are Crazy. It is not true, they have No problem. Remember they are in complete denial of having a problem. Look up drug rehab in the phone book and talk to counselors to discuss your concerns. You are not responsible for their behavior. The addict Must want to change their lives. You cannot change it for them. Suggest AA and the 12 step program or offer to go for counseling with them.
Most important from what I have seen in my case and many others, Do Not enable them. By this I mean, Do Not give ANY money, do not believe anything the user tells you. If they say thay need gas money to get to work and you feel compelled to help, put the gas in the car for them. If they need rent money, do not give them the money, if compelled pay it for them, have them match it with their paycheck or stay out of it and let them find a way on their own.
They will say anything to get money to support their habit. They are not thinking rationally and will tell many stories to further their habit. They will lie endlessly with a straight face to get you to believe and even shed real tears.
They can and will bring you down financially and emotionally, if you let them. Your life can or will begin to feel as chaotic as theirs, therefore you will become a co-dependent with their addiction.
Watch your personal belongings. Hide your checkbook, wallet, credit cards, jewelry and electronics they may be able to Pawn for quick cash. Remember they are Not thinking rationally when they are using or having withdrawl and want to use. Most important: Be safe.
If you feel threatened by their actions or behavior. Get out!
Hide your car keys and go. Go to a safe place and or call the police to get help.
The world today has become a strange place in regards to Hardcore Drugs and Alcohol becoming so accessible.
Domestic Abuse rates on women (and men in some cases) due to drugs and alcohol have risen and families and precious children are put at risk. There is plenty of help out there on all of these subjects I have talked about. The internet, drug rehab centers and help lines are all there with qualified professionals willing to help. Addiction/Alcoholism affects not only the user but friends and family.
Rememeber, the addicted person, the alcoholic, or the abuser Must Want to change. You cannot change their behavior.
If it becomes overwhelming walk away, cut all ties and live your own life. Everyone deserves to be happy, worry and stress free. I guess I mean to have Peace and Tranquility in their life in this crazy world.
Everyone has choices to make. Each one of us are Responsible and held accountable for our own actions and mental train of thought. I hope I have clairified my stand on this issue. It has been a tuff reality and a hard lesson to learn. I am still working to have Peace and Tranquility in My Life. That is how God intended it to be.
I am still picking up the pieces of what Addiction/Alcohol have done to my family. But Belief in God and Faith and Hope that he will see us through and alot of Prayer are what is getting us through this Horriffic, Tragic situation. Thank you for listening. I would feel good in my flight if I could make just one person aware in the terms of struggling with Addiction/Alcohol/Abuse, of what the Real Outcome can be.
Extreme? No these are deadly chemicals and it only takes 1 time to have a tragic outcome.
Prayer and Spiritual Guidance will only help if the User wants to change and be Drug/Alcohol free. And then it is an ongoing daily commitment for the rest of their lives.
Remember these are Hardcore Dangerous Drugs!
Seek Professional Qualified Help if needed.
Thank you
Seneca's Mom
Marie
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RE: MY ADDICTED FRIEND - 
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