2 months since death of my son (Full Version)

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Mikes Mom -> 2 months since death of my son (5/20/2007 12:15:40 PM)

I am new here, iam greiving the lost of my younest boy, he was one month from38 the youngest boy of 5 children decided on March 12, 2007 he couln't take it any longer and hung himself, i am having a real hard time with this as Michael was a Mamas boy even at his age , i've read books joined support groups and still don't understand why,Thanks for listening. Mary ( Mikes Mom)



Lori -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (5/20/2007 1:08:31 PM)

Mary,

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your son.  I am a grieving mother also, and It has helped me tremendously to reach out to other grieving parents and offer support and encouragment.  This is a wonderful site and alot of wonderful people here to help you.  Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

~Lori-Eric's mom forever.....



yorkiemary -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (5/20/2007 1:34:20 PM)

Dear Mary and Lori,

I am posting this poem for you, which I found many years ago, I don't presume to say that I understand how you are feeling, it is impossible.  I do know that my heart goes out to all those mums and dads who have lost their children.
One day, we shall understand...........




A Child Of Mine (To All Parents)
Edgar Guest

I will lend you, for a little time,
A child of mine, He said.
For you to love the while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years,
Or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief.
You'll have his lovely memories,
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there,
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over,
In search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labour vain.
Nor hate me when I come
To take him home again?
I fancied that I heard them say,
'Dear Lord, Thy will be done!'
For all the joys Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we've planned.
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (5/20/2007 1:47:50 PM)

Dear Mary,

You have my deepest sympathy. Know that you are held in prayer as you grieve the loss of your dear son. I pray that Our God who knows what it feels like to suffer the death of a Son comfort you as He walks with you and shares your pain.

It has been 38 years since my own son died. It is a very difficult experience to live through and "not supposed to be how life turns out." Children are supposed to outlive their parents, not parents outlive their children. From my own experience and that of others I know, the best way for pain to begin healing is for us to go THROUGH the pain rather than deny or ignore it. There will always be the hole in one's heart, but looking back, there would be an even bigger hole in my heart had he not been here. When I think of Tim, I see what a gift he was and is to my life and all the ways he added/adds a certain specialness to my life. His being a part of my life even though only for a short time allows me to be grateful for all those little ways I was and am still touched by his presence and those special memories that help me celebrate the gift of his life.

May you begin to see Only One Set of Footprints as our God shares this most difficult time with you.

Shalom



Lynn -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (6/14/2007 2:26:15 PM)

Thank you for kind and thoughtful email. The poem really made my day. Such insight to life. I wish good things for you in your life and I'm sorry for the loss of your son as well. Godspeed. Love, Lynn



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (6/20/2007 12:18:10 PM)

Dear Mary,

This is late in coming but thank you so much for the poem you have shared here. I have passed it on several times to parents I know who have had a child die recently. It has been very meaningful to them and a real gift. I personally have found that as the years pass after a child's death, one begins to see and celebrate the gift of the life that they were blessed to share.

Thank you for sharing such a special gift of consolation to parents who have a child who has died.



Bluemoon -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (6/20/2007 6:54:15 PM)

Dearest Mary,
I'm so sorry about Michael. Please accept my deepest condolences.  I know your heart is breaking and I pray that this will ease with time. Hang on to your love for him Mary, he knows and he is with you. Remember in your heart the many years you had him. Rejoice and celebrate the smiles he gave to you the gift of love and all that he gave.  He fulfilled his purpose here, he is at peace. I feel sure he will check in with you from time to time. Let him know your love and feel his embrace when he comes to you. I cannot answer the question of Why, I wish I could for you, but please accept my prayers for you and Michael, And I trust that God in his time will help you. I will light a candle for you in the group "JESUS".  

Take care Dear Mary,
God Bless you
Blue



Vicky -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (7/14/2007 2:41:15 PM)

Mary,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son, Michael. My deepest sympathy.
 
You've come to the right place for support. There are wonderful, caring & supportive people here. They get me through the day. One day at a time!

You are looking for a "why" for the reason your son took his own life. I don't think you can find the "why" ... only he knows the "why".
 
Remember him for the wonderful son that he was, do not try to reason his death - only "celebrate" his life!



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (7/14/2007 4:52:17 PM)

Welcome to the forum, Vicky,

quote:

There are wonderful, caring & supportive people here. They get me through the day. One day at a time!


Your words are so true. There is so much to celebrate in all the lives that have touched each of us, both those that have gone before us and those that each day seem to pass by on angel wings at just the right moment when we need that gentle extra breeze of love. May we all be more aware of those "little" breezes of love that come one moment at a time, one day at a time to gently enfold us in love and support.

May you be blessed and each day sense how much you are raised upon those gentle breezes of angel love.



Ms. M -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (7/14/2007 5:18:19 PM)

Dear Mary,

I am so very sorry to hear about your son, Mike. Sometimes these beautiful people come into our lives to give us lessons, lessons that are sometimes hard to bear, but they can teach us much. My son (37) was a musician and model before he was stricken with MS. Now we live together and I am his caregiver. I will say that living with Beau has taught me SO MUCH! I am grateful, not that Beau has MS, but that I have been privileged to learn and grow just by being with him. 

I know it must be SO HARD to adjust to Mike's death. I can only send you love and peace, and I do.

Love, Mary J.[:)]






Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (7/14/2007 6:16:42 PM)

Dear Mary J,

Welcome to the forum. Know that you and Beau will be held in prayer. It must be very difficult for your son in the midst of such a young full life to have it change so drastically. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It is so difficult as a parent to watch one of your children suffer from a debilitating disease. I am sure that you take very special care of Beau. I pray that you also take very special care of Mary J. It is so easy as parents when we are involved as the caregiver for one of our children to forget how much the caregiver needs self-care. I pray that you take time each day for you and know that we are always here for you with our prayers and love.



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (7/23/2007 4:49:50 PM)

Dear Mary J,

Just wanted to let you know that you and Beau were thought of today and lifted up in prayer. May our God sustain you both and may you always know that you never walk through life's difficulties alone.



dena -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/1/2007 2:17:14 AM)

How sad that so many of us live within the "same club"  - losing a child is the hardest thing I have ever been through and although it has been a year, some days the hurt is so strong- I just want to see him, smell him, touch him and know that he is ok.  Where is my faith??  Where did the faith that I so quickly stood up for go?  



cambucha -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/1/2007 9:31:53 AM)

To Mike's Mom: I can't imagine what you are going thru. But I wanted you to know that my oldest daughter lost her baby girl on childbirth. It will be 3 yrs this August. As a Grandma and Mother I have been coping with my daughter  loss and mine, too. The other day she told me that she has a hole  in her heart. The most difficult part for me is What can I do to help her? Why I could not protect her for this suffering? I was with her during all the labor process and I have been feeling so guilty.
I only pray for her and her husband inner peace.
God bless you.



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/1/2007 8:47:11 PM)

Cambucha,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your granddaughter!. I am sure it is very difficult both for you as grandma and as a mother seeing the grief your daughter carries. I,too, had a little one die many, many years ago. The hole always stays in your heart but eventually, it begins to brighten. I know that for me, after Tim's death, my other two were all the more special. I would hate when they had to go back to school and yet often heard other Mom's complain how they just couldn't wait til vacation was over.

Each of us has our own suffering we go through and it is never easy. I know for me, it really helped to have those around who would allow me to grieve and love me where I was. Eventually, I volunteered at a Children's hospital. Seeing all the excruciating pain that so many little ones went through and trying to help them and their parents deal with it helped me deal with my own "heart pain". Know that you and your daughter will be held in prayer. I will ask Tim and your granddaughter to help you both through the loss.

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff



Lynn -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/10/2007 7:10:57 PM)

Prayers for you and your family. Lynn



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/10/2007 9:01:24 PM)

Lynn,

It is so good to have you back after your surgery. Take good care of you and know that you are being held in prayer for a complete and speedy recovery[:)][:)]!



psychicblonde -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/29/2007 11:23:15 AM)

I am so sorry to hear of the death of your son, my heart goes out to you and all parents who have lost children no matter what their age.

I heard this poem a couple of years ago and thought it was beautiful, I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you.

When Tomorrow Starts without Me.
 
 
When tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an Angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.
 
The Angel said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I would have to leave behind,
All those I dearly loved.
 
But when I walked through Heavens gates,
I felt so much at home,
For God looked down and smiled at me
And told me "Welcome Home"
 
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we are far apart,
For everytime you think of me,
I'm right there in your heart.
 
 



Imenuff -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (8/30/2007 3:33:38 AM)

Elaine, Welcome to the forum.[:)] You are correct. That truly is a beautiful poem, not just for the loss of a child but for the loss of anyone near and dear to us[&o][&o]. It is always difficult when one we love dies. Your poem reminds us all that death does not conquer love. Thank you for sharing it with us.



blue_butterfly -> RE: 2 months since death of my son (9/11/2007 1:18:23 AM)

Dear Mary,

My deepest sympathy to you also. My brother, (another  Michael ) took his own life in July of this year.
I still grapple with the 'whys' of it all  but trust that God  has his plan for each of us even though our finite minds can't even begin  to comprehend HIS wisdom.

I am just so thankful for my faith. May God be with you  and I hope and pray that you find peace and consolation .



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