RE: my mum

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RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 6:36:46 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda
Thank you for your kind words to. I don't think I'll ever come out of this hole I've not seen my doctor for ages I don't seem to move forward when I do see her so I've given up. The medication don't seem to help either don't know why I take it sometimes seems pointless. I just think I'm a lost cause. love to you and Leon hope he's doing ok and that you are well
love sharon

Post #: 281

RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 6:43:52 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2653
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, why don't you give your doctors another try? They certainly can't help you if you don't see them! Tell them what you tell us, just the way you really feel!
As to your going swimming or exercising, I wonder if you could not have a friend, a buddy, who can go with you, and won't take no for an answer. Also, it is much more fun to be with someone!
Look up out of your hole, sometimes it will be night, but there is a day after every night, sometimes cloudy, at others sunny. Don't stop looking for that ray of light, it is THERE even when you can't see it!

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 282

RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 6:44:25 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Marie
Thank you for your support to. Yes I did the race for life for cancer research a few weeks ago and hope to do it again next year. I did feel good about doing it but it didn't last long. I was going to the gym for a time and swimming but I got bored of the gym found it so boring that I stopped going and have been meaning to go swimming for months but still haven't got there. I've given up speaking to my doctor these days as it doesn't change anything so I don't see the point anymore. How are things with you
love sharon

Post #: 283

RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 6:46:48 PM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Hi again Sharon,

I do understand about finding exercise boring.

I don't go out of my way to exercise, especially when feeling down, but I always feel better for it afterwards.

There are some improvements here at home with my Son, but it's early days and there are still lots of problems. We've been having one shared meal for the last couple of weeks, (for homework

) which has been nice. We've both made a little extra effort to make a meal we all like.

Keep the exercise idea in your mind. You never know, an oportunity for 10 minutes walking somewhere might come your way. Even 10 minutes helps to change our brain chemistry for the better.

Wishing you well,
Hugs, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 284

RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 6:52:37 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Glenys
Thank you for your supportive words also it means a lot that people on here care. Sending love your way to
love sharon

Post #: 285

RE: my mum - 7/30/2008 10:40:29 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1125
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Hello Sharon. Things are well with me. Like you there are days that may start out being low, but I try to keep busy to stay positive. A few weeks ago on a holiday with no special plans, I had a friend stop by to ask if I wanted to go for a walk to the park. At first I declined then quickly changed that thought, afterwards I was glad that I did. We all have days that may not be the greatest but sometimes it takes looking for someting new to do. Today for example it was hot, so very hot. After dinner I felt like doing nothing at all but instead I grabbed the badmitton set I got at the beginning of summer and we played. After that the oversized plastic bowling set then a game of catch. Doing those things was good and a had given me a lift. Maybe a game of frisbee tomorrow. All very inexpensive things to have. This summer I was determined to make it the best so far, despite sometimes feeling otherwise. And it has been the best summer I have had. But it takes staying positive and reaching out to others to be involved with. I find the longer you just sit and think the worse it may seem, but after doing just something, whether it is reading, drawing, a craft or a sport it makes you feel better or can make you realize you need practice to be good at it. Never give up! We are all on your side and pulling for you! Please, I know how it is to feel very down. God's plans for all of us was to be happy, it may take time and effort with all circumstances.

Your friend,
God Bless
Marie

Post #: 286

RE: my mum - 7/31/2008 12:17:32 AM

joanzze

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/30/2008
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

Hi Sharon, I hardly ever reply to peoples posts because I don't want to say the wrong thing, give bad advice, or think my ideas are off the wall.

I am not to familiar with your situation however, I am the sole caretaker for my elderly mother even though I have a sister who just doesn't seem to want to help and give me a break from time to time. My mother is in failing health and needs quite a bit of caring for. I also care for my own family. I try to keep busy inside the house as I cannot venture far from it. I like to knit and crochet and always buy my yarn when it goes on sale. I mostly do blankets, then give them away to someone who really needs one. The looks on faces brings me such joy.

My kids think I am crazy but, if you can afford it and find it, I got the Nintendo Wii along with the Wii Fit accessory. It's alot of fun and it keeps my mind from wondering off to the what if's, if things where different, why me, etc. Just hang in there and know there will be better days ahead for all of us.

Joni

The Lord is First, my Friends are second, and I am Third

Post #: 287

RE: my mum - 7/31/2008 8:39:05 AM

Hildegard

Posts: 2653
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dear Joni, thank you for sharing your own experience with Sharon! You have found very constructive ways of coping with what has been presented to you!

Please, don't be fearful of posting responses. We simply offer suggestions to be considered and taken or not, and try to support and encourage each other like friends do. We do so in good faith and on occasion with a gentle sense of humor. We can always learn from each other's experience. Different things work for different people but can provide ideas we never thought of.

Wishing you everything good,
Much love,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 288

RE: my mum - 7/31/2008 8:43:05 AM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Joni, you have given Sharon (and the rest of us

) some brilliant ideas there. The fact that you are making things for others, as well as keeping you interested, is brilliant, and certainly makes for a more positive outlook.

It sounds as if you have your hands full with caring for your mother and your own family.

Yes, it's easy to slip into the "what if's" Don't worry, what ever we do our kids always think we are crazy!!!!!!!!

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 289

RE: my mum - 8/1/2008 11:37:13 AM

Star5776

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sending you prayers of love and healing. x

Post #: 290

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:23:26 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Joni
Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about your mum its not easy caring for a loved one as I know only too well with my mum. She has been ill on and off with cancer for 5.5 years now she hasn't been feeling too good the last few days.
Don't worry about replying to posts on here. I may not like everything thats said to me on here but I know that people only say it because they care.
Its funny that you mentioned the nintendo wii as I nearly ordered it from a new home shopping catalogue I got the other week but I didn't as I've got a lot of debts from other catalogues that are on my back for payment plus other places I owe money too. I did order some other stuff but the wii will have to wait a while I guess or I might just order it anyway not sure. I've wanted it since it first came out I've got the nintendo ds and playstation at the moment.
I've never done any crochet but I used to do a lot of cross stitch but haven't for a long time.
love sharon

Post #: 291

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:33:37 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda
I know you are right about seeing the doctor but I guess that I am too scared to say how I really feel for fear of what she might say or do. I find it so hard to open up properly to doctors I don't know why I guess I don't want to feel judged by them there's thingsI should tell them that I never have I just keep things bottled up and I wish I didn't. I just feel that I could explode at any minute and I don't know what to do about it its all a mess. I used to go swimming with one of my friends sometimes but then we stopped going and at the moment I can't even be bothered with my friends and that sounds awful but thats how I feel at the moment don't want to feel like this
love sharon

Post #: 292

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:34:52 AM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,
Every time I see the advert for the Nintendo Wii I will think of you!!

Perhaps if I do, one will come your way. Don't add to your debts. It's tempting I know, especially if shopping online which I do a lot of. One click and you've bought it.

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 293

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:40:24 AM

celtic star

Posts: 453
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

hi Sharon, a quick "hello" this Saturday morning and sending you warmest thoughts and prayers. Glenys x

Post #: 294

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:41:51 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Jude
I pleased to hear there have been some improvements with your son although early days I hope things continue to improve for you both. Your doing your best to try and sort things out and thats all you can do.
I sometimes wish I could sort things out with my dad but thats never going to happen we very rarely speak at all now when I go to see mum. I don't like it this way I do love him because he's my dad but I hate him at the same time and I can't understand how I can love someone but hate them as well its beyond me.
love sharon

Post #: 295

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:50:01 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Marie
Thank you for your post and I'm pleased to hear you are having a good summer. You are right too much time thinking about things make everything worse but I find it so hard to distract myself even when I try the thoughts pop into my head and take over can't seem to be able to stop them. Have a good weekend
love sharon

Post #: 296

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:51:43 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Glenys
Thank you I hope you have a good weekend
love sharon

Post #: 297

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 7:54:20 AM

J1937

Posts: 848
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Austria/Europe
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,

I am am always glad to see your name appear in the Forum. Hopefully I am not among the people whose posts you do not like reading

! I certainly do not intend to bother you with "good advice", I´d just like to share what has lately been helping me a lot. It´s the motto: "DON´t EXPECT - ACCEPT!" Like you (and most people, I guess) I do not enjoy seeing a doctor. When I´ve got myself to do so, however, without expecting any bad news and accepting what he or she tells me, I am always relieved afterwards. And doctors are (or at least should be) prepared to hear anything from their patients, without judging them (listen to them with "giraffe ears", remember?) One may even tell them so!

Good luck to you!

Warm hugs and Blessings,
Juliana
_____________________________
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict

Post #: 298

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 8:20:21 AM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Juliana
Sorry if it came accross as I didn't like reading some people's post I didn't mean it that way.What I meant was sometimes I might not like what someone says but I will always read it because I know you all say things because you care and want to support me and I am grateful for that
love sharon

Post #: 299

RE: my mum - 8/2/2008 2:39:05 PM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,
I know exactly what you mean about how you feel about your Dad, because that is how I feel about my own Dad. He's dead now, but as a family, we were all affected by how he treated my Mum.
I've done a lot of 'work' on his affect on me and my life, and now I don't hate him. There's a saying which some Christians say, "Hate the sin, not the sinner" and that's how I think of him now. He wasn't a bad man, just weak in lots of ways, and he was doing the best he could really, even if his best wasn't very nice. Now I hate what he did, not him as a person.
He did love us, but just didn't know how to be a good father or husband.

A good friend once gave me some great advice. She said that everyone is doing their best at any given time. That doesn't mean we can't do better at a later date, but it does help us realize that everyone makes mistakes, and no-one is perfect.

I hope this helps as I know how confusing it is.

Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 300