RE: my mum

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RE: my mum - 8/14/2008 4:02:40 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda
Thank you I wasn't sure about posting a photo of him. He's only a dog but he's mine and he means the world to me and he keeps me going sometimes. I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to make an appointment to see my doctor. This has not been a good week tuesday I stayed in bed most of the day and todays the first time I've got dressed since sunday just couldn't be bothered. I just feel so drained and completely fed up with everything
love sharon

Post #: 321

RE: my mum - 8/14/2008 4:10:53 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Jude
Thank you for your post and your support. Did I read you were going away visiting family I hope you have a good time away and come back refreshed. I've gone and ordered the Nintendo Wii out of my catalogue but I've got to wait till the beginning of oct for it to come so I'll have to try and keep some money aside for it before I have to start paying for it. I'm feeling the same completely fed up with life in general
love sharon

Post #: 322

RE: my mum - 8/14/2008 4:18:19 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Juliana
Yes he is my dog Rye he is 11 years old now and he came from a rescue centre he was picked up as a stray. Thank you for posting that quote it is so hard to find any hope I keep trying but never seem to get anywhere it all feels so bleak and feels like things will never get any better. I am just so sick of everything
love sharon

Post #: 323

RE: my mum - 8/14/2008 10:16:54 PM

Star5776

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sharon....

love your dog !! he's so cute !!

sending you love and peace......and a smile to brighten your day.

x Tara

Post #: 324

RE: my mum - 8/15/2008 6:20:18 PM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,
Thank you for your good wishes. Yes, I am at my sister's now & going down memory lane seeing all the old places of my childhood. Glad though, that I don't still live here!

Be strong. Keep trying to see that speck of light in the dark,

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 325

RE: my mum - 8/15/2008 10:27:31 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2653
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dear Sharon, keep working on that bit of courage you need to call your doctor! Doesn't your dog get you out of bed to take you for a walk even though you may not feel like it?!

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 326

RE: my mum - 8/16/2008 2:22:14 AM

J1937

Posts: 848
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Austria/Europe
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,

Thank you for answering my posts. I think Hildegard´s advice is very good and useful. Rye helping you to get up, Rye taking you for a walk and to the doctor´s... I can´t do that via email

, although I would so much like to. Once the first step is taken, the rest gets easier and the speck of hope gets bigger

!

Warm wishes,
Juliana
___________________________________
I cannot change the direction of the wind. But I can adjust my sails.

Post #: 327

RE: my mum - 8/16/2008 5:58:51 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Hi Jude
I hope you have a good time at your sisters and some nice weather
love sharon

Post #: 328

RE: my mum - 8/16/2008 6:32:45 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda and Juliana
I should explain about Rye I don't have him at my house he's at my mums. The main reason been that he's got the garden there to go out in. I live in a flat and haven't got a garden where he could go out and play. I do have him here sometimes when I'm feeling up to it but sometimes its hard to look after myself never mind Rye. I sometimes wish I had him with me all the time but I know that he's better where he is and I see him as much as I can. And he's great company for my mum especially lately and I couldn't take him away from her she would miss him so much. And I think she needs him more than me. I have said that in the event of my mum dying before Rye then he will come to my house as my dads not having him. He doesn't want him around now but begrudgely puts up with him. But if my mum wasn't there there would be no question of him coming to me.
I had thought my mum was feeling better but now not sure. when I spoke to her this afternoon she said she had had a bad night and had felt sick then she got up to go the toilet and she says she must have either fainted or blacked out. She came to and Rye was by the side of her licking her he is such a loyal dog and she's been sleeping most of the day been really tired and drained. So I don't know whats going on. I look at her and sometimes think that cancer has robbed my mum of so much and it makes me angry. I am grateful she is here but at what cost she tries to stay positive about things but I know that inside she's scared about what the future holds. I don't know I sometimes think she's not the same person she was before cancer entered her life. She went through it all before with my gran (her mum) she died of ovarian cancer some years ago now. And I guess that ultimately I will have to watch her the same and I'm not sure that I can I'm not strong enough to do that as I know I would be doing it on my own as I did when she was in intensive care once. Sorry I'm rambling on not sure I'm making any sense I guess today is a very bad day I am just scared of whats going on and I can't do anything to take it all away and make my mum completely better and I wish I could
love sharon

Post #: 329

RE: my mum - 8/21/2008 9:49:22 AM

4utom

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline

Hi Sharon,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother I'll lite a candle for her & pray for your whole family...
I traveled that path with my own family when my sister Patty (my best friend) got breast cancer... unfortuntly she had cancer at its worst & after 2 hard years God decided to call her home. Sharon each of your family members will deal with this differently may it bring you closer then you've ever been before! Remember that laughter is a great medicine as hard as some days will be... it will help all of you.
God Bless Your Whole Family As You Travel This Journey Together!
Holly

Post #: 330

RE: my mum - 8/21/2008 11:47:53 AM

Hildegard

Posts: 2653
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,

I am sorry I did not find your post sooner! Thank you for explaining about Rye. I can well imagine that he is a good companion for your mother and stays close by her. I am sorry your mother is not feeling well. You don't mention if she has seen her doctor recently. I hope she does get all the care she needs. Much can be done to make her comfortable. I understand that all this weighs heavily on you. The only way to manage is one day at a time. Know that you have all our support and prayers to help you at this difficult time. How I wish I just could put my arms around you!

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 331

RE: my mum - 8/22/2008 4:55:23 AM

celtic star

Posts: 453
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Sharon
Praying that today is a better today for you. You care for your mum as best as you are able, that is all any of us can do and I am sure she appreciates it.
Rye looks like a great dog. Our first dog was Jess and we had her from when she was 12 weeks old until we had to have her put to sleep aged 17. We were devastated and still talk about her fondly.
We now have Ben, a sheepdog who is a totally different kettle of fish - a rescue dog who lives alongside us but not "with " us and has a number of behavioural issues which one to one dog training sessions, dog obedience classes have not resolved.............
Another of life's lessons!
Namaste
Glenys

Post #: 332

RE: my mum - 8/22/2008 5:44:58 PM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,
Rye is a great dog! They can be so sensitive to our needs and he obviously sensed your Mum needed to wake up, so he licked her. Bless him.

Sharon, you are doing marvellously with your Mum. Don't put yourself down. You have so much to struggle with, and yet you are still caring for her and your dog as best you can. Try not to be afraid for your Mum, but do try and persuade her to see her doctor again. Edda is right, there is so much that could probably be done to help her and you.

You have proved to us that you are a very strong woman, and a caring one too. Keep leaning on us. You will be able to cope with things, I am confident of that.

Much Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 333

RE: my mum - 9/3/2008 11:57:00 AM

Gennai

Posts: 83
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline

Hello Sharon,
I am lighting a candle for you, your Mum and Rye. He sounds a great dog!
I am thinking of you all and sending you love and light, from me and Jackoryx

Godlove
Gina

Recovery isn’t a goal, but a process.
Love is like a deep pool, that never dries up.

Post #: 334

RE: my mum - 10/6/2008 6:42:29 PM

sharon

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

I don't know why I'm on here tonight I really intended staying away for good and I am sorry to bother everyone on here. I can't begin to say how I'm feeling but its not good. I went with mum to her latest check up at the hospital last wednesday and the blood tests indicate that the cancer is starting up again the tumour markers were higher than what they should be which suggests things are changing and that the cancer is starting to grow again. At the moment its a case of waiting and seeing what develops although there was nothing showing on her scan result at least not at the moment. The oncologist kept asking about any symptoms she had and said if she's worried about anything before her next appointment to get in touch with the hospital. I can't help feeling the worse on the one hand they give you ok news then take it away I don't know what to think anymore. I just wish someone would say what will happen I hate not knowing it drives me mad. Too many things going round in my head I wish it was me who had the cancer and not my mum she doesn't deserve any of it. I don't know what to think anymore I just want out of it all. I tried to end it all but it never works I fail at everything. I am sorry to bother you with it all I don't belong here and I don't belong anywhere
sharon

Post #: 335

RE: my mum - 10/6/2008 9:40:09 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2653
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, I am glad you came back. You DO belong here! You say you don't know why you returned, but I think you know in your heart that you are always welcome, that everyone is trying to encourage and support you. Let this be the lifeline to so many who love you and refuse to give up on you.

The uncertainty about your mother's health is very difficult to bear, it would be for anybody. None of us like uncertainty and yet we have to find a way to live with it. One way to manage it is one day at a time. Don't let worry about the future spoil the present. Make each day count.Try to do something enjoyable with your mother each day; small things like a special cup of tea, a favorite dish, listening to music, looking together at art, taking a walk. It would be so good for her and for you.

Please, do keep coming back even when you don't know why, we care about you!

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 336

RE: my mum - 10/6/2008 10:41:16 PM

Sita

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/23/2008
From: Australia
Status: offline

Dear Sharon, I am praying for you and your Mum, and all your Family...Its a hard place to be when you see your Mum in so much pain, and you are caught in emotions of wanting her to be out of pain,and to stay and fight...My Mum passed in Feb after a stroke and i wanted so much for her to stay but knew her fight had been fought and she needed to go and be with my Dad and Sister.. I want you to know you are in my thoughts darl...and that so many others are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers... Let us know how you are coping Sharon XXX
Sita

Post #: 337

RE: my mum - 10/7/2008 5:10:20 AM

buttington

Posts: 2158
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon, I'm glad too that you came back to visit us. Like Edda says, I think you know why really. We do all care about you and your Mum. There is no-one like your mum, I know, and I wish I had been more supportive to mine. So, do try to keep on the bright side for her sake. You are doing so well to be there for her. It shows what a caring person you are.
Do keep coming back to talk to us. I will light a candle now for you and your Mum.

Much Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 338

RE: my mum - 10/7/2008 6:50:04 AM

lilsparrow

Posts: 401
Joined: 9/15/2008
From: New York State USA
Status: offline

Dear, dear Sharon . . .
Although I am new here since you were posting, I did go back and read previous posts of yours. I can see that you have been going through a long and painful time, struggling with issues concerning both you and your mother.
I wrote on another thread something about the small joys, like Edda mentioned. Finding those small joys, like a cup of tea with your mother, taking a walk, and focusing on them as if they were each a precious jewel in the palm of your hand (because they are), can help to lift your heart just a wee bit . . . being there for her is the greatest gift you could ever give her and that knowledge will help you in the days to come. When I was younger I was very selfish and self-centered, and did not see the value in keeping in touch with my grandmother. It was only years later that I felt the full impact of my thoughtlessness towards her. That was when my own father lay dying. I was able to be there for him, thinking I was giving him such a gift...being with him in his own home, so that he could pass from this world onto his next journey without the cold artifice of a hospital. My heart was full to overflowing with love for him. As it turned out though, he was the one giving me the gift, and that was sharing it, really sharing it with me. He died peacefully in my arms and while my heart broke open with grief and sorrow, it became full of such joy for his life and his love that I will never be the same from the experience. So Sharon, never think that you are not a valuable, deserving person. What you are doing for your mother is very valuable and important. Do not diminish it . . . do not discount yourself. You are one of God's creatures, as are we all. You rest in His heart, as do we all. He has his eye on you, even as He has his eye on the sparrow . . . be kind to yourself . . . allow yourself to feel the outpouring of love for you from the people on this web site. You found it for a reason and you keep coming back for a reason.
I will light a candle for you, dear person, and keep you in my thoughts and prayers . . .
Please keep coming back.
with much love . . .
sparrow

_____________________________

everything counts...

Post #: 339

RE: my mum - 10/10/2008 6:28:10 AM

celtic star

Posts: 453
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sharon, it's a tough one when we have to wait for results or wait to see what happens. Given what your mum has been through in the past, it is natural for you to be worried and many of us can identify with what you describe as being constantly worried about what will happen, especially if we have many things happening in our lives at the same time, as often is the case.
I remember a friend of mine, when she was going through the worst of times and being told that she had to wait to see how things would develop,telling me that the best advice she was given during this awful period was by another friend who told her kindly, "Worrying and crying is natural but at the moment it's not going to help you because you really do not know if you have anything reason to cry about".
Sharon your mum needs you to be positive and strong because that is what is going to help her. Keep strong and keep safe, you are a supportive and kind daughter and whenever I and others post here, your thoughts and prayers for others are full of love and compassion. Prayers of support and love for you and your mum.
Namste
Glenys x

Post #: 340