RE: my mum

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RE: my mum - 7/30/2007 10:03:02 PM

Bluemoon

Posts: 164
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,
We have not heard from you, are you ok? Want you to know I'am thinking about you and keeping you and Mom in my prayers. Stay strong Sharon we are with you and here for you.
Sending you my love and many hugs.
God Bless you and keep you safe.
Blue

Post #: 61

RE: my mum - 7/31/2007 8:28:57 PM

Star5776

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Blue...thank you for bumping this back up. I was wondering about Sharon too.

Sharon...keeping you both in my prayers and continuing to ask for God's grace upon you both.

Post #: 62

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 8:38:37 AM

sharon

Posts: 141
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Hello friends
I am sorry I haven't been in touch for a while,I have been thinking of you all and wondering how you were all doing. I have been feeling so low and wondering why I am still here when I don't want to be. I am drinking more and more and spending money on alcohol that I should be spending on other things. I have an appointment on wednesday to see an alcohol adviser. I'm not sure why I have agrred to this as I don't think it will do any good. I'm not sure whether now is the best time to cut down or stop drinking as there is too much going on in my head. If I'm honest I don't know if I want to. At the moment I can't go a day without drinking and I guess the longer i drink the harder its going to be, but it feels like the drink has got a hold over me, some days I won't go out unless I've a drink inside me. I just don't feel that I'm strong enough to do it to face life without a drink.

Dear Edda
thank you so much for your message and your candles, it really means a lot to me. I don't know I just feel that people shouldn't bother with me as I really am not worth it. I just don't have any hope that things will get better only worse and I just don't see anyway forward. I think maybe I should stay off here as I don't want to come on here and depress anyone as you probably have had enough of me and I wouldn't blame you, I am just not worth bothering with or listening to. I go to bed every night and I wish I didn't have to wake up. I'm sorry to sound so depressing just ignore me. I hope you are ok and that leon is going on alright. I think about you every day and hope leon can have his surgery soon
love sharon

Buttington
thank you so much for your message its really appreciated. I really do not know what the reason is why I am still here as life seems to become more of a struggle each day. I have an appointment on wednesday about my drinking, don't know how I feel about going. I think going to see someone actually makes the issues real instead of hiding it, its out in the open and I'm just not sure about how I feel talking to someone about it. I just don't feel that I'm strong enough to deal with it. I'm not sure why I agreed to go in the first place it seemed like a good idea at the time but not sure now. How are you doing I hope you are ok my thoughts are with you love sharon

Dove
I'm so pleased to hear your daughter has not had a drink in seven years. I really do admire her, she is one brave person. I don't think I can do it take care love sharon

Emil
thank you for your message. I totally respect your beliefs, I'm not sure what I believe anymore. I used to have a strong faith and attended church every week without fail, but over the years I have lost my way and gave up with church and all it stood for. And to be honest not sure where I stand now. Don't get me wrong I do believe that Jesus exists but I feel that even he has given up on me over the years. I feel that if he cared then I would have succeeded in taking my life before now as I no longer want to be alive as my life is of no use or importance to anyone. I do hope that I have not offended you with what I have said as that is not my intention. I respect you and what you stand for. I am seeing someone about my drinking on wednesday as I am drinking more and more each day. I feel like I am in a black hole at the moment and can't find my way out. I'm not sure whether I should continue on here as the last thing I ever want to do is offend you or anyone, you are special people and I am glad I have been able to talk to you. I really don't know what to do for the best. How are things with you I hope you are ok and I wish you well best wishes love sharon

Bluemoon
thank you for your messasge, its good to hear from you. I am finding things such a struggle at the moment. How are you best wishes love sharon

Star
thank you for your message also, there are so many caring people on here and I really appreciate everyone. Life is an uphill battle daily and I can't see a way forward at the moment. I do hope that you are ok. I think about you and everyone each day best wishes love sharon

Post #: 63

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 10:24:26 AM

Bluemoon

Posts: 164
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,

I am truly happy to hear from you. But my heart goes out to you as in your words I can hear the sadness you are going through. Please Sharon do NOT give up hope. I pray you do go to your appointment on Wednesday and that may be an answer to your prayer. I am thinking that maybe the heavenly Father is leading you to a new path to help you in answer to your and our prayers for you. Your time has come Sharon, i beg you to please reach out and take it. You do have the strength with in you to do this.
I do know life is very hard and cruel at times and so many times I too wish I had a crutch, but it is by living the experience that I gain my strength, my hope my love for the positive things in life. When I am at my worse, I try hard to think of the stations of the cross, knowing full well i could not do it, and then it hits me....................how much Jesus loved ME to do this. He loves you too Sharon, please believe in him and believe in yourself. We are only given what we can handle and when we have reached our limit, with prayer, many tears, sadness, depression then suddenly the burden is shared. It is a step by step process, there we must learn patients, the knowledge that we are not alone is FAITH and HOPE. Is it possible for you to think of your life as something very precious and pure? Would you destroy the greatest gift God has given you?

I too had your problem many many years ago in my youth.I was obsessed,self centered, carried with me a bottle in my purse, my car, hiding all the time thinking no one knew....I was an actor!!!!! When I realized and was honest with myself and saw what I was doing to myself and most of all family and others around me.............how could I forgive my self. The pain I caused, the suffering......how ashamed I was.........I knew this MUST stop, how dare I ruin the good health I had, the family how could I curse the very name of the one who was to help me......I was quite hard on myself I did a total self examination of my heart, my soul..I stepped out side of my self and looked back......There is where I found my answers and my hope my strength......I was not going to destroy my self in my own self pity...............I just STOPPED.........I will admit IT WAS NOT EASY!!, But once i did this I was able to accept with difficulty, what life threw at me. But I gained so much, more love from those who counted, my job was safe, I had money again, I had a new strength that told me I can do it!!!

But all in all it was deep prayer, faith, hope and love that carried me in those times, I became a new person I had a second chance.The world around me was no longer black and white, I was graced with a beautiful world of color....

This may not be the way for you dear Sharon, but as I said do not give up on HOPE, your angel of help may be waiting for you on Wednesday. Please go and keep an open mind Sharon. and know I will be with you in heart and spirit especially on Wednesday. I will think of it as your NEW BIRTHDAY, open your heart to the day, to all.....let it all go and begin anew.

I am so sorry I rattled on Sharon, but I really want you to understand that there IS hope, I and others here believe you are well worth it. We will continue prayers for you and the light on the candles is our LOVE to you. Be strong Dearest Sharon, And I pray you return to us soon and let us know how you are.

I believe in you Sharon.

God Bless you and keep you in his heart Dearest Sharon.
Blue

This prayer has carried me many time over. I pray it is your prayer too.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change..
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that he will make all things right,
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen

Post #: 64

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 12:40:02 PM

buttington

Posts: 1570
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,

My heart goes out to you, you brave girl. How beautifully Blue has put into words all I would like to say, but don't know how.

I echo Blue when she says not to give up hope. You have so much to gain. We always think giving up our addictions is going to be worse than having them. It isn't. Harder maybe, but not worse. With addictions we lose our identity.

You agreed to the meeting on Wednesday because, deep in your heart, you have had enough of the drink and truly wish to stop. That's for definite. Be strong - let people help you.

My experience of drinking too much is second hand. Just now, my little Granddaughter is really missing her Mummy because her Mummy (and her Mummy before her) is an alcoholic and drug user. It took my Son 4 years to get his daughter out of a dangerous home. Bless her, she thinks the sun shines out of her Mum, and when she isn't drunk she is a very nice Mum, but can't be trusted to have her little girl for long at a time. Heartbreaking for all concerned.

I want you to look forward to the rest of your life. Be brave - let someone help you.

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and hoping it will be a positive experience for you. You are worth it.

With Love J

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 65

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 2:48:35 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

dear sharon
i'm so sorry ur mum is having to bear all this pain.
i have an aunt i'm very close to battling breast cancer.
plz chant with ur mum the healing effect is amazing.
give her all my best and lots of love to u.

_____________________________

nita
' Love Moves d World '

Post #: 66

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 3:04:46 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2273
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, my heart goes out to you in your distress. I did not have a chance to respond to you earlier this morning. In the meantime, Blue and Jude have already said much better than I could what I would want to tell you. I just would like to stress one point - please, keep your appointment on Wednesday regardless how you feel about it. Just go! Let people help you! You may not like what you hear but in your heart of hearts you know that they have your best interest at heart. Accept all the help and support offered, you are worth it!
Leon and I are muddling along until the next step can be accomplished. I, as someone who hates to ask for help, have to accept help offered and ask for it when needed. People are only too happy to know exactly what they can do. We are all part of one big family and share joys and sorrows. You are part of this big family!
Wishing you courage and strength,
With much love, Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 67

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 3:11:50 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

sweety,
u know sages say we get the human birth once in 90,000 yrs. so dont u think
it we should make the most of it. we get hooked on to all kinds of addictions wen we are under stress but then we can also shake it off IF WE WORK TOWARDS IT. plz keep ur wednesday appointment and reach out for help and support around u.................. friends, family, professional.

i come from india and am on a spiritual journey myself. i see miraculous recovery from alcoholicism thru YOGA,MEDITATION AND CHANTING. plz try them. u'll find info on the net or let me know and i'll procure it for u.

but u have to have faith in urself that u can and will come out of.
with faith, belief and action nothing is impossible to achieve.

_____________________________

nita
' Love Moves d World '

Post #: 68

RE: my mum - 8/11/2007 4:35:12 PM

artemis611

Posts: 380
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline

Sharon: I'm new since you first posted, but I'm lighting a candle for you and your mother. Please do go to your appointment on Wednesday. It sounds like you've tried before, but keep trying. This day might be the right day, you won't know until you try (and try, and try, and try--that's how it works). Surrender to the process. Stop fighting and surrender. Let them help you.

Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.

Post #: 69

RE: my mum - 8/13/2007 12:10:22 AM

Emil

Posts: 285
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Rosenberg, TX
Status: offline

quote:

Emil
thank you for your message. I totally respect your beliefs, I'm not sure what I believe anymore. I used to have a strong faith and attended church every week without fail, but over the years I have lost my way and gave up with church and all it stood for. And to be honest not sure where I stand now. Don't get me wrong I do believe that Jesus exists but I feel that even he has given up on me over the years. I feel that if he cared then I would have succeeded in taking my life before now as I no longer want to be alive as my life is of no use or importance to anyone. I do hope that I have not offended you with what I have said as that is not my intention. I respect you and what you stand for. I am seeing someone about my drinking on wednesday as I am drinking more and more each day. I feel like I am in a black hole at the moment and can't find my way out. I'm not sure whether I should continue on here as the last thing I ever want to do is offend you or anyone, you are special people and I am glad I have been able to talk to you. I really don't know what to do for the best. How are things with you I hope you are ok and I wish you well best wishes love sharon

Dearest Sharon: You have not offended me at all. Please remember that there are many of us on this board and we all have different beliefs -- and we all respect each other.

As for me, Jesus saved me from a life of drunkenness; and addiction to marihuana and pornography, from vanity and vindictiveness... Oh, there was so much wrong with my life. I too left the church (Catholic) for twenty-five years, except for a couple during which I returned half-heartedly, and finally returned in good faith to the same Catholic Church in 2000.

I thought about suicide when I was much younger, but never went through it since I sincerely believed that by doing so I could be condemning myself to eternity without God. I also thought of all my loved ones and how much they would hurt. (And I would have probably been to much of a coward to go through with it, anyway). However, I believe that any life -- even one which one thinks is not worth living -- can turn from one of misery to one of joy and thanksgiving. For instance, I could not be attempting to help you had I not gone through the drunkenness myself, and been in a dark hole myself (I used to call it "the dark tunnel I'm in").

What I did do all throughout the time that I felt I was lost was pray that God would help me find the way, through our Lord. And he did. Please go to your meeting on Wednesday. We care for you very deeply.

And, again, NO you didn't hurt my feelings. You are a dear person facing many difficulties.

And just one more thing, the very reason Jesus has not let you go through with suicide is because he loves you. He himself spoke in the parable of the shepherd who leaves 99 sheep behind to search for one lost one, of how important one soul such as yours is to him.

Please don't leave us.

With lots of love,
Emil

Post #: 70

RE: my mum - 8/13/2007 1:30:27 PM

buttington

Posts: 1570
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Sharon,
Still hoping you will have the courage to go to your meeting on Wednesday. Each day is the first day of the rest of your life. Lots of Love J

Emil,
I don't know if you have shared your story with us before I joined you, but I wanted to say thank you. We all have a story to tell, and everyone here is interested to hear it.

You will certainly know where Sharon is coming from right now, and if she reads your story she will have hope for her own future.

Over the weekend I found out just what a transforming week my Son had during his Shiatsu retreat, and what his superiors think of his journey, opening his heart right up, and, in their words, "revealing the beautiful human being you have always been." I'm so proud of him, although I can't reveal how I found this out, I look forward to an oportunity to tell him how proud I am.

We all become lost and then found again. I'm so glad to have my Son back again, and hope his future is as beautiful as the pure heart I always knew was there, hidden under fear and goodness knows what else.

I feel priveleged to share your story. Love J

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 71

RE: my mum - 8/14/2007 12:31:24 AM

Emil

Posts: 285
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Rosenberg, TX
Status: offline

Dear J: I'm so glad that things are looking up with Scott. I pray that everything continues to unfold as it should with your relationship.

As for sharing all the dirt, so to speak: no I haven't shared that much before. I am not proud of it, but I felt it could be useful to Sharon and maybe others at this time. I have been through some really down periods, and not even my heart attack changed my ways. It was three years after my quadruple bypass surgery that I began to change. That's why I consider it all a great miracle.

With love,
Emil

Post #: 72

RE: my mum - 8/15/2007 8:27:12 AM

Star5776

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon,

May God's grace surround you and bring you peace.

You are a strong and beautiful woman. May you find a way to take the steps towards being reborn into a life free of addiction and pain.

Your words have brought me something...the belief that things will get better. The belief in the healing power of love. There are things I have done in my life that weren't the best of choices, and I used to kick myself for it. But then I tried to see myself through God's eyes....a human who makes mistakes but has the best intentions. Weak and frail I was until I realized I had the strongest power on earth inside of me. The power of love. That is how I see you. You are beautiful and loved. Your mistakes are merely little bumps in the road and they are the scars that make you stronger and more beautiful than every. And this is why your words make me believe in the healing power of love....for as I read your post I saw a beautiful butterfly about to rise from her cocoon.

Keep reaching out for love, keep your light strong...for even in the darkest night the light of a star will illuminate the world.

God bless you...my prayers are with you and your mom.

Post #: 73

RE: my mum - 8/16/2007 1:11:27 AM

Bluemoon

Posts: 164
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,
Sending you a hug today and my thoughts. I am thinking about you and pray all went well today.
God Bless,
Blue

Post #: 74

RE: my mum - 8/16/2007 4:20:34 AM

celtic star

Posts: 366
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Sharon sending you tons of loving positive energy. XX

Post #: 75

RE: my mum - 8/19/2007 11:28:23 AM

Bluemoon

Posts: 164
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,
Was thinking about to you and wondering how you are. Keeping you in my prayers and am in hope you find strength. Please let us know how you are.
God Bless you dear Sharon and keep you in his care.
Blue

Post #: 76

RE: my mum - 8/20/2007 6:44:46 PM

Star5776

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon...keeping you in my prayers as well. God bless.

Post #: 77

RE: my mum - 8/30/2007 11:28:05 AM

sharon

Posts: 141
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Hello
I feel drawn back to this site not sure why, but all you people are so kind and caring and I am not worthy of any of your concern. For the peoplewho don't know I did keep my appointment with the alcohol adviser the other week. And have had my first proper appointment today. I was so stressed and anxious about going that I had a few drinks before I went. The meeting did go ok though and I have another one next thursday where she is going to tell me all about what alcohol does to the body, I'm not looking forward to that one. I have to fill in diaries of how much I am drinking each day it doesn't make good reading I am drinking loads more than is good for me but I guess I knew that anyway.Just don't know how to stop or if I even want to. If you take the drink away what am I left with nothing. I just don't know I'm just not sure my life is worth fighting for I've just had enough of everything at the moment. I wish I could feel better but I don't. I'm not even sure why I'm back on this site just felt I needed to come on. I'm not sure about anything at the momet. You are all special people and can do without me going on all the time. I do care about you all but feel that I am of no use to anyone. I think about you all everyday with love sharon

Post #: 78

RE: my mum - 8/30/2007 1:35:38 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2273
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,

I am so glad you came back! You feel drawn because we want to draw you! We are here for you and you are worth it! I am also happy that you have kept your appointments so far. Please, stay with your appointments and the things you are asked to do, even when you don't feel like it. You wonder what will be left without alcohol? What will be left is a loving, beautiful person called Sharon, now hidden by depression and the effects of alcohol. You are beginning to face your situation, please, continue on that path!

My prayers and candles are with you along the way!
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 79

RE: my mum - 8/30/2007 8:38:44 PM

Star5776

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon,

I love you, many on this site love you, your friends and family love you, and God loves you. That is what you have to fill up all of your pockets. I am so proud of you for going to that appointment. It is so brave, and many couldn't do it. My prayers are with you, my love is with you, and my strength is with you. Keep the faith and keep going on.

God bless.

Star

Post #: 80