RE: my mum

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RE: my mum

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RE: my mum - 8/31/2007 9:18:42 AM

sharon

Posts: 158
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda
thank you for your message, you are a really caring person. I just don't know how I feel. Last night I had a very severe headache and had to take myself to bed at 9pm and dose myeslf up with painkillers. I have never had such a bad head as I did last night. When I got up this morning the first thing I did was have a drink when it was probably the drink that made me ill yesturday. Why I can't just stop I don't know. I know its bad for me and is damaging my body but even though I know that I can't stop. I have an appointment next month 19th with my kidney consultant and I am dreading that as she said yesturday that the drink will be damaging my kidneys even more but I don't seem to care about that as its one way to end my life. I just don't know what to think. How are things going with leon. I hope he is getting closer to been able to have his surgery
take care
love sharon

Post #: 81

RE: my mum - 8/31/2007 9:23:14 AM

sharon

Posts: 158
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Star
thank you so much for your lovely message. Things are such a struggle at the moment, that I can't see things improving. I just feel that no one cares and that people would'nt be bothered if I wasn't alive, my mum would be and that whats keeps me going at the moment. If it wasn't for my mum I would'nt stay around. How are you doing I hope you are ok
take care
love sharon

Post #: 82

RE: my mum - 8/31/2007 10:56:24 AM

Hildegard

Posts: 2332
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, hang in there! Stay with us! Don't worry how you feel about things, just follow through on what is necessary. The tunnel may have a few bends so you don't see the light at the end of it. Your life is valuable and not just because your mother needs you!
I am sorry about your headache. I get migraines so I know how miserable they can be. I stay away even from a small glass of wine, when I feel one coming on, since it makes it so much worse!

You are in my heart and prayers,
Love, Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 83

RE: my mum - 8/31/2007 9:45:08 PM

artemis611

Posts: 380
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline

Sharon: I'm so glad you wrote in. I've been wondering about you and how you were doing, if you went to your appointment or not and what happened. One thing you've got going for you and for your recovery is that you really seem to know that you need help. That knowledge is so important, it really is. You're already well on the way. Please keep letting other people help you. No one can do this alone. You are worth the caring and concern of people who can help you. Hang in there.

Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.

Post #: 84

RE: my mum - 9/1/2007 12:58:46 PM

buttington

Posts: 1624
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,
I care that you are still here, and I'm very pleased you have come back to the forum.

I pray that you will receive the help you so very much need and deserve.

You are a loving and valuable human being. Keep on going. J

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 85

RE: my mum - 9/3/2007 12:14:40 PM

sharon

Posts: 158
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Dear Edda, Lori, Jude
thank you all for your lovely messages you are all so kind. I am feeling really really low today and don't think I have the strengh or even the desire to fight. Life just feels too much of a struggle and I don't want to know anymore, I have just had enough. I can't see things ever changing. All I can think about is the next drink. I just feel that I am a lost cause and that nothing is going to change and I'm never going to feel better. I just don't know what to do anymore
sharon

Post #: 86

RE: my mum - 9/3/2007 1:13:57 PM

buttington

Posts: 1624
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,

all I can do is light candles for you, and I will do that now.

Much Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 87

RE: my mum - 9/3/2007 2:01:43 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2332
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, I am sorry you feel so low! You do know what to do - continue keeping your appointments no matter how you feel! You are NOT a lost cause! I do hope your tell your doctor exactly how you feel. And pray to want to get better!
I, too, will light your daily candle right now!

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 88

RE: my mum - 9/3/2007 4:30:55 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1122
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon, we have all felt low at different times in our lives. You will get through this and one day you will realize how beautiful life really is. There are many here pulling for you to get through. I will light a candle and keep you in my prayers. Try taking a walk and observing the beauty around you from the skies above, to the earth, the grass, creatures of all sorts, and all that God has put on this earth for us to enjoy, including you Sharon, you are part of that beautiful picture you just need to see it.
Keep your appointments and stay away from buying alcohol. When you get the urge, sit down and have a talk with your Mom or someone you are close with. Enjoy them as much as they enjoy having you, Sharon part of their lives.

Praying for you and God Bless you to see it this way.
Marie
Seneca's Mom

Post #: 89

RE: my mum - 9/3/2007 8:22:20 PM

Star5776

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon,

May God's love and grace surround you at this moment. May peace through love fill your soul. May you see the beauty that is around you and inside of you and how many people feel blessed by you. Stay strong and know that you are not alone in this fight. Angels are at your side and God has you in his arms. Stay for awhile in his embrace and soon the sun will shine ever brightly. God bless my friend. Holding a candle light for you tonight and always.

Star

Post #: 90

RE: my mum - 9/4/2007 11:20:14 PM

artemis611

Posts: 380
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline

Sharon: I'm lighting a candle for you. Please keep putting one foot in front of the other in the direction of your recovery.

Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.

Post #: 91

RE: my mum - 9/15/2007 10:28:36 AM

sharon

Posts: 158
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Hello to you all
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your messages it really does mean a lot. Nothing has changed here still feeling so low and worrying about my appointment on wednesday with my kidney consultant. I had to go and have a blood test done on wednesday so he has an upto date kidney function when I see him. They had an awful job getting any blood out of me. I am worrying about what effect my drinking will have on the results and they have also done a liver function test so I dread to think what the results are going to be. As far as the drinking is concerned I am no where nearer been able to cut down and these appointments don't seem to be helping at all. I am at a point of giving them up as I don't see any point to them. I just feel so down in myself that I just can't cope with things at the moment and just want to give up on the fight my life isn't worth fighting for. Mum also has an appointment coming up at the end of the month with her oncologist which is also causing worry as everything is so up in the air and nobody can say what will or won't happen. No one can say how long the remission will last for and its so hard to think positive about the whole thing. Its like waiting for the next bomb shell to drop. I just don't know what to do anymore. Life is so difficult and I've had enough of it. Sorry to sound so depressing but thats just how I feel at the moment. You are all special people and I shouldn't bother you. Best wishes to you all love sharon

Post #: 92

RE: my mum - 9/15/2007 2:13:29 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2332
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon, I am sorry you are still feeling so low. Please, keep ALL your appointments. You may not see the point of it, but, as I said before, just do it regardless how you feel about it. None of us can predict the tomorrow, so you can't know how your mother will be doing. You have her now, don't let the uncertain future spoil the time you have with her! There is no need for apologizing for sharing with us the way you feel. You DESERVE all our prayers, candles and good wishes. You are worth it even though you don't think so. We are all rooting for you. Allow us to support you through this so difficult time for you. And do come back as often as you can.

With much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 93

RE: my mum - 9/15/2007 5:12:04 PM

buttington

Posts: 1624
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear sharon,

I repeat everything Edda has said. Just go through the motions even if you don't feel like it and don't think it's doing any good. Just the act of coming on and letting us all know how you are is worthwhile - a positive step.

Your Mum needs you and you need her. Keep going brave girl.
Love J

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 94

RE: my mum - 9/15/2007 7:09:01 PM

celtic star

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sharon
I am sorry that things are particularly difficult for you at this time. I pray that you are Divinely guided to the person that is best able to help you deal with the diffiiculties that you are facing. When I read through all your posts, it struck me what a brave spirit you are - keep fighting for YOU, so that you can have the life that you dream of and deserve. Namaste Glenys x

Post #: 95

RE: my mum - 9/17/2007 8:25:36 PM

Star5776

Posts: 193
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

Sharon,

My prayers are with you always. May God continue to give you the strength to win all of your battles. May God's healing love also touch your Mother.

I was in Vienna this past week and had the chance to see the Pope. I am not Catholic but it was an amazing experience to be near someone so filled with the love of God. I thought of you there as I watched the people surrounding him filled with prayers of hope and peace. May your faith be as strong as those people I met and prayed with that day....and may God light your path home to peace, happiness, and joy. Keep your chin up and your head high for you are love.

Star

Post #: 96

RE: my mum - 9/20/2007 11:19:58 AM

sharon

Posts: 158
Joined: 6/6/2007
From: England
Status: offline

Hello all you lovely people
I can't thank you enough for your lovely messages of support for me it really does mean so much although I am not worthy of your care or support. I've had a really tough session today with my alcohol adviser she wants me to go to a group next wednesday with other people with alcohol issues. I said I would go but don't know if I can go through with it. Its ok talking to her on a one to one but don't know if I can cope with other people. She's also suggested I see my doctor as I am just so low and maybe need an increase in my antidepressants which sometimes I forget to take after a few drinks. She away next week so I haven't got an appointment till the week after. My drinking is still so out of control isn't getting any better I just don't know what to do anymore. My appointment was ok yesturday with the kidney consultant no significant changes to my kidneys my blood tests came back stable what ever that means but if I carry on drinking its going to lead to problems. My blood pressure is too high and needs to be monitored by my gp and I may need to go on tablets for that. But as my alcohol adviser said alcohol increases the blood pressure. I've just had enough of things and I can't see a day when things will be any better so why don't I just give up now and save everyone the trouble, nobody would care if I wasn't around anyway so whats the point
sharon

Post #: 97

RE: my mum - 9/20/2007 1:36:14 PM

buttington

Posts: 1624
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Sharon,

Good to hear from you. Do go to the group session. Yes, it will be tough to start with, but at least you will find that a lot of people are in the same boat as you. You might even meet people who are in a worse state, but they have been brave enough to go so you must too.

I believe you do care very much about yourself. Each day you are alive is a gift. Try to see it that way - even on the dark days. You are the most important person in YOUR life. Depression is an awful theng, but keep asking for help and you will get it.
Love J

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 98

RE: my mum - 9/20/2007 2:18:21 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2332
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dearest Sharon,

I am so proud of you! You did keep your appointments up to now. I agree with Jude, DO go to the group session even though you feel apprehensive about it. If many people row the same boat together, they can make progress!
I have a tape for you that says, "I am worth it! I am loved!" Try to substitute it for the "not worthy" tape that plays in your mind. Play it, even though you don't feel it! One day, I think, you will believe it because it is the truth!
Please, continue coming back here. We want to support you!

With much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 99

RE: my mum - 9/20/2007 4:44:41 PM

celtic star

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sharon - you are stronger than you think, you are going to counselling and keeping appointments with your doctor which is HUGE - WELL DONE!. Try the group, it might be the right thing for you or it might not, but it's worth a go. Praying and wishing you all good things. Glenys x

Post #: 100