RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (Full Version)

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Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/11/2007 8:23:33 PM)

quote:

my very kind son-in-law told me recently that if his wife turns out to be just like me, he'll be a happy guy!
 I am finally getting caught up on reading back posts. Lolly, dear, sounds like your son is a very wise person. His compliment to you fits so well with Juliana's posting today on The Five Languages of Love, a perfect example of L.L.1

Prayers and hugs,



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/15/2007 9:26:59 AM)

The TV was on this morning as I was waiting to hear the news while doing computer work. At the time, they were interviewing a TV evangalist but it was no more than background noise[&:]. My ear was caught by a concept he mentioned, something similar to-- Life is like sitting in the driver's seat of a car. The windshield is like the life we have ahead of us and the rear view mirror is the life we have already gone through. Although probably not the exact words, the concept really struck me as to how often I can get stuck looking at the "rear view mirror" rather than looking at the "windshield."



Solomon -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/15/2007 3:43:14 PM)

I think it's easier to look back because you're more fmailiar with it. You've been there, you know what it was like. You remember it. the future hasn't happened yet, and all you can do is anticipate, based on previous experience. [:)]



buttington -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/15/2007 6:29:43 PM)

It's the word "stuck" which is important here I think. Looking back at the past is fine so long as we don't get stuck there.

Jude



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/17/2007 3:18:48 PM)

quote:

You've been there, you know what it was like. You remember it.
Solomon, I think that's exactly why I need a very small rear view mirror. At times I find it all to easy to expect a similar situation to turn out the way the one in the rear view mirror did and I end up getting caught by the "law of self-fulfilling prophecy." Example-One knows that the last time one was with a particular person one had a horrible time so, having to be in their company again, one automatically expects to have a horrible time and so our sub-conscious does not allow us to be proven wrong--we have a horrible time.

Thank you very much for your offer. When I get a minute, you will probably get an email full of questions about what to do and how.

Jude, I don't know about you, but sometimes that rear view mirror of the past seems like it is covered in magnetic sticky glue.



buttington -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/17/2007 5:36:47 PM)

Betty, I have a 'spiritual' game called The Transformation Game' where you put a question to it about your life before you start to play. It has cards of various kinds, a dice etc. and one of the cards says "You just want things to go back to how they used to be."
I seem to get this card nearly every time I play it. We have an envelope in the game, where, at the beginning, we put cards in unseen, and as the game progresses some or all of them get removed. Any left in the envelope at the end are supposed to be issues we don't want to look at. Guess which one is often left in mine? !![:D]  Jude



artemis611 -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/19/2007 9:20:09 PM)

Last night I saw a wonderful film and I want to recommend it.  It's a documentary called In The Shadow of the Moon, it's a Ron Howard film.  It's about the history of the apollo missions, and it's very entertaining, but I also found it to be so inspiring.  I didn't expect that.  There are interviews with astronauts who went to the moon, and among the things they discuss are their thoughts and feelings when they looked back at the earth, epiphanies they had while in space about our connectedness, how they developed a different perspective on living after the experience, and their concerns about caring for the earth.  If you get a chance to see it, I recommend it.

Lori



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/21/2007 12:59:34 PM)

Lori, don't you just love when that happens[:)][:)], something completely unexpected[8|] will be unbelievably inspiring[:D]. It always reminds me how the Holy One can use the very ordinary of our lives to open us so fully to the extra ordinary. The film definitely sounds worth watching. Thank you for your sharing your experience of it with us.



zenmember -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/23/2007 11:03:19 AM)

Lori;

   Don't you find that developing 'a different perspective on living' occurs with each new experience; especially if the experience involves something outside our normal activities.  We are just now being treated to the stories my daughter has brought back from spending six weeks putting the finishing touches on a school house in Malawi, Africa. It's excitng to hear her tell of how one day work stopped on the placing of soffits to the school's roof. The explanation they received was, "Sorry boss, no more nails."  This is after two weeks before she emailed to tell us they had spent the better part of the day negotiating the "fixed" price on a keg of nails (at the nail stoe) and how she now appreciates the one-stop shopping of Home Depot. It reminded me of how many times I had been told "Boukra Inshallah"* by workers in Saudi Arabia. She had travelled before to Europe, Hawaii, Carribean but, never experienced the third world mentality as in Africa.

* the equivalent of a Mexican's "manyana'



artemis611 -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/23/2007 7:01:24 PM)

Richard, I agree that the opportunity is there to develop a new perspective with each new experience.  I know that for myself, I sometimes see in retrospect how I resisted developing a new perspective at times when I had those opportunities, only to "get it" when I gave up fighting.  I've only travelled abroad once, but that was definitely a time when my whole view of the world changed.  My experience with cancer had that effect as well, though much more slowly because initially I was determined not to really experience cancer.  But like the book says, wherever you go, there you are.  And eventually it became one of the most beneficially life-changing experiences I could imagine.  Even the struggle against accepting it taught me a great deal. 

Lori



bookdragon -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/24/2007 4:13:28 AM)

Hi, everyone-Just wanted to let you know that my husband found a job-or did I tell you that already? LOL I am working some extra shifts at work and am all discombobulated. Anyway, am trying to catch up on the posts hear.

Love to everyone, Lyla[;)]



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/25/2007 9:03:41 AM)

Welcome back, Lyla. It is so good to see you posting again and to know that your husband got a new job.[:D][:D][:D] Your job sounds extremely stressful[&:] but your suggestions for self-care were superb[;)]. You are so right that when we take good care of ourselves, it automatically flows out into our work.



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/30/2007 8:51:35 AM)

I don't know how many of you get the daily "Word For the Day" in your email from Gratefulness. Today's "Word" seemed particularly poignant[;)]
quote:

Prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible[:o][>:] and the heart has turned to stone[&:][:@].

Thomas Merton



buttington -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/30/2007 3:50:11 PM)

Yes Betty, I do get these quotes, and this one really popped out at me. It relates to when I was saying that sometimes it's hard for me to even pray for my Son. It's at these dark times that we do our 'best' learning. The heart has to be broken open in order to properly feel compassion for others.

It's a sad fact that we do seem to have to suffer ourselves before we understand other's suffering. After the last unpleasantness from my Son I honestly felt I'd rather he hadn't been born at all if it meant I had to feel such pain now. My heart really had turned to stone where he was concerned, but, as I was saying to Lori, it doesn't need a very big speck of light to appear and I'm all hopeful and love-filled again !!!!!!!  Jude



bookdragon -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/30/2007 5:17:49 PM)

I read the quote this morning. Something I have learned in my struggle to accept people as they are is that when I have trouble accepting-my heart turning to stone-the "You spot it, you got it" philosophy comes into play. When I am able to see in myself that which I am having trouble accepting in another-prayer is no longer impossible.

I have a prayer for people that I resent-it starts "God, I hope they go to heaven, NOW!" [:D] LOL It becomes a prayer for them to have health, love, wisdom and riches in their life-all the things I want for myself.  This leads to my acceptance and many times brings ME the things I WANT, not just the things I need. My needs are always taken care of and some of my wants come down the pike when I least expect it.

I need to look on these times as oppurtunities for growth, emotional, spiritual and even monetary growth (sometimes).

I am busy with the literacy organization that I am affiliated with, we are having a fund raiser that is going to be a lot of work. I am also involved with an organization that advocates for and educates families of children with autism. We are having a fundraiser next week. These are all chances for me to be involved with my community. The more involved I am in my community, the less time there is for my heart to turn to stone.

Volunteer work is about me getting out of myself, giving back some of what I have been given. If I am involved in this way, I don't have time to sit and wallow in self pity-I am a champ at that-and self hatred. I forget about the worst of my physical pain, I manage to get by it, somehow. I spent many years on the pity pot, wallowing in anger and self pity for what I DON'T have, in volunteering, I have found a way to not spend my time alone.

Well, I am just running at the keyboard, today, aren't I.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.[&:]

Love ya'll, Lyla [;)]



artemis611 -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/30/2007 11:18:30 PM)

Lyla:  "You spot it, you got it," I'm not exactly sure I know what you mean.  Is that like "It takes one to know one?"

Lori



bookdragon -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/30/2007 11:51:02 PM)

That's one way of looking at it, Lori! LOL[:D]



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/31/2007 12:44:50 PM)

Dear Jude,, Listening to your post, one can almost feel the heart hurt and darkness that comes at times. Isn't it amazing how our kids can bring us to the very heights of elation at times and can also seem to send us to the depths of the black pit of pain at other times. Having been through a total estrangement that lasted well over two years, it is not a pain that any mother would willingly ask for. Over time, a routine developed--when it hurt so badly that I felt like my insides would explode, I would ask the Holy One to use that pain as a prayer for him. I understand your statement
quote:

After the last unpleasantness from my Son I honestly felt I'd rather he hadn't been born at all if it meant I had to feel such pain now.
. I had often thought of Mary at times like that, wondering how she felt when Jesus began his public life and was just GONE. How the wierd stories she heard about Him must often have given her "Heart Hurts". Over time, I was finally able to let it go, and give it to God. If there was to be no more relationship between us on his part, it would hurt unbelievably and needed to be grieved, but I would survive, the same as I have survived after someone very dear has died. When it hurt too badly, I would sob in the arms of the Holy One, knowing at least a little how much pain I must cause the Holy One when I walk away from ONE who can do no more than Love and only created me out of Love. Using the difficult pain I sometimes feel as a Prayer for him helps me to let go. It has been a long journey, but it has taught me a lot. In the very early writings of the Desert Fathers we have the prayer "Take Lord, receive,all I am and possess. You have given all to me, now I return it. Give me only your love and your grace; that's enough for me." At moments like those, the Holy One becomes I'MENUFF for me and when I get particularly down on myself, then I also know that I'menuff for the Holy One and in the end, that's all that matters.



buttington -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (10/31/2007 2:33:54 PM)

Betty, thank you for that.
I have never actually stopped praying for my Son. Since joining this group I have tended to light candles for him even when in the depths of despair or anger. It helps me and of course does reach him.
If he hasn't locked all his doors I sometimes go all around the house with candles and incense, saying prayers as I go. Our poor house has taken a battering with all the negative stuff that has gone on in it over the last 12 years. It's my way of healing the house and telling it I do still love it and thank it for sheltering me.
I also ask for Loving kindness and Peace to fill the house in place of all the URRGGHH stuff.[:D] Last year I bought a Buddha figure for my Son's birthday, and named him the Buddha of Loving kindness. He looks very peaceful.
In my room I have a much cherished picture of Christ holding out his arms (I don't like the 'cross' image) and it sits beside my own beautiful serene Buddha. I see them both as being the same energy really. They are my focus for prayer and lighting candles and their presence makes my room feel very peaceful and nurturing. (even though it is only 10ft by 10ft. Cosy!![:)])
Instead of festering and worrying it's always better to "Give up and let God." I find it hard to do sometimes though.

Love Jude



Imenuff -> RE: PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM (11/9/2007 3:26:17 AM)

quote:

"There is no situation that is not transformable. There is no person who is hopeless. There is no set of circumstances that cannot be turned about by ordinary human beings and their natural capacity for love of the deepest sort."
Desmond Tutu



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