Imenuff
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Joined: 3/23/2007
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Today I am very grateful that the last revisions on the lector training program have been finished and it is now ready. I am grateful for the music of Italy, for the gift of hearing, to be able to allow those individual tones to come together and penetrate the marrow of the bones. I am grateful for this family who so willingly supported me this past month with your prayers and so lovingly welcomed me back home. I am grateful for feet that walk, eyes that see, taste buds that taste, a nose that smells and a heart that has been loved so freely and unconditionally by the Holy One that it has begun to learn how to love as she has been loved and to give as gift what she has been given.
Sparrow, as yet, I, too, am not sure of the purpose of my journey/pilgrimage/???. I only know that with the Greatfulness Gathering in Mattli the beginning of September, It seemed to be the starting point. For decades, I had dreamed of going on retreat in Switzerland. To say it was a retreat in the stardard definition of the word, would diminish the experience. After much conversation with my own Spiritual Director, it seemed to be what the Spirit was leading me to at this point of my life. At age 66, I would jokingly tell friends that I was going so that I would get more perspective on "what I wanted to be when I grew up." In the initial stages it was not planned to be a solo odyssey but that is what it became before it ever began--general possible stops, no reservations, no solid plans--surrender to the promptings of the Spirit within about the where and what the next step consisted of. "Be still and know that I am God." And so there were the postings where at times, I jokingly referred to myself as the sometimes "bag lady" wondering around in strange cities of Europe well after dark, unable to speak the language, and having no idea of where I would sleep that night and whether it would be in a normal room or somewhere secluded under the Holy One's blanket of the stars. And so each night I now tuck all the homeless traveling the streets of the world, into my prayers.
The real reason for the trip, I do not know, nor does my Spiritual Director. I do know that in many regards it tested the very mettle of my being. I know that times arose when everything inside of me said it was time to quit this "thing", whatever it was, especially when I landed in Ireland, sprained my knee and could not walk without stabbing pain and my knee buckling underneath me. Everything inside me wanted to quit, to toss in the towel on the whole thing, whatever it was meant to be--perseverance be da--! I had persevered through the death of a child, through brain surgery for another with an incurable disease, through one waking up from back surgery completely paralyzed on one side (who now, praise God, can walk even without a brace). I had persevered through financial catastrophes, life taking tragedies, etc. Enough Already! Ireland almost broke me but it became surrender --You lead, I will stay and do my best to follow, if this is what You want. The lessons I learned about my own personal strengths, weaknesses and failings were completely invaluable. The questions I was sent in the midst of wanting to control and plan rather than live in the present moment will feed my journaling for the rest of my life.
Lest you think it all difficult, there were also the many many times I was in total awe at the utter goodness of humanity and of complete strangers I would never see again but who are now prayed for daily. There were so many of those gifted, truly spiritual times when "eye has not seen nor ear heard," nor could one possibly put into words the mystical wonder and awe of so many experiences that became a powerful part of this most graciously given time of aloneness with God. What or why, I went, I do not know. All I do know is that "this was the time and the season," and this was where I was being led. and blessed beyond any expectation for "The Holy One who is mighty has done great and wonderful things for me and Holy is This God's name.
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Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)
I'menuff
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RE: TODAY, I AM GRATEFUL FOR .......... - 
Rabbits are about fear.) But an eagle?!!!!!!! They are fearless and far-sighted and fly free, all the things I wasn't. We don't have eagles in England so buzzards became my little eagles. 
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