zenmember
Posts: 381
Joined: 2/26/2007
From: Sarnia, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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Dear all;
It is unfortunate that we get hung up on words. There are other ways of communicating but most require that we all be in the same room. Having served most of a life sentence that has so far spanned eight decades, (Yes, Virginia, I did build a crystal set and after calculating length and stringing an antenna on trees in the backyard, listened to Churchill and Hitler on the shortwave.) I more and more come to believe that the purpose of life is to teach us how to make lemonade out of the lemons that are thrown at us.
The first of my controversial posts is a warm and fuzzy folktale about the way things were and very much follows the structure of that genre. Mark Twainish stuff that we all knew was perhaps more than a bit exaggerated but recognized the wisdom in it. Lord knows, not all of us were "dragged" out behind the barn for a licking. I personally received many tongue lashings ( another phrase which has alternate meaning today) but the only "licking" I remember getting is "the strap" from my grade nine geography teacher whilst in high school.
The second post consists of seven scenarios that contrast the drastic shift in social attitude and action that has occurred in just 37 years; little more than one generation. To most of you , that may seem like a very long time period but, to me that's just half a lifetime. The exponential explosion of the information age is proving to be too much for the human system. We can learn a great deal from great minds like Einstein and Ghandhi. Tough love needs awareness not Police action.
I agree completely with the sentiments put forth in Edda's response (remember, she is a retired pediatrician and knows whereof she speaks);
"I think this piece is correct in that there is often a lack of appropriate discipline in child rearing in our society. I don't agree with some of the methods mentioned but I agree in principle with the need for teaching children respect and letting them know that actions have consequences. There is a need for the right balance between firmness and and knowing, when to let something go. Children have to know and feel that they are loved; material things are no substitute for this. "
And I applaud Lori's references to the effects of the "ME generation" that she sees in her day-to-day practice;
"I'm a therapist too, and I work with predominantly young adults from affluent families, most of whom have never been told no in their lives. I agree that abuse is never acceptable, but overindulgence is also extremely harmful to human development. Many of the patients I work with have never developed respect, self-discipline, responsibility, or any sense of community. The value of the "common good" is completely lost on them. Some of them, I think, could have survived an occasional spanking better than what they got, which I think of as a particular kind of neglect. I've heard it said that a parent's job is to give a child both roots and wings. Overindulgence gives them neither. "
I might add that the syndrome doesn't only exist for the affluent. All of society has lost a sense of respect and dignity. My wife works in a global reservation center and it curls the hair I lost years ago when she tells me of the abuse she has to suffer from people talking on their cell phones while driving on busy throughways; insisting that theirs is the paramount problem of all times and how dare you confuse me with the facts.
Can't you see these are all just symptoms, we are witnessing the fall of western civilization. The one consolation is that after Rome fell there was a period of darkness called the middle ages. This period should give humankind some time to reflect and put things into proper perspective once again.
There's just one more quote I'd like to include here, it is one of Kirshnamurti's;
"How to look at your fear"
"Do please listen to this, it is not complicated. It demands attention, and attention has its own discipline; you don't have to introduce a system of discipline. You know, sirs, what this world needs is not politicians or more engineers, but free human beings. Engineers and scientists may be necessary, but it seems to me that what the world needs is human beings who are free, who are creative, who have no fear. And most of us are ridden with fear. If you can go profoundly into fear and really understand it, you will come out with innocency, so that your mind is clear. That is what we need, and that is why it is very important to understand how to look at a fact, how to look at your fear. That is the whole problem-not how to get rid of fear, not how to be courageous, not what to do about fear, but to be fully with the fact."
_____________________________
"We must be the change we want to see in this world."
Please light a Candle in the "zendo"
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Today's Drug Problems - 
) What they didn't know was, if their Father had administered the punishment, then they would have been beaten. I never did that. I thought I got it right, but they think differently! My daughter has never smacked her often difficult child, and he's growing up a gentle and thoughtful young man. J
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