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Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...."

 
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Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/13/2007 7:49:47 PM   
Imenuff

 

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Namaste!

This is a new thread for all of us. Truth be told, we all have those days where maybe we just don't post because we don't "feel" anything like gratitude. In fact, we feel completely burdened by one or the other thing in our lives that we currently must deal with. As we face these situations, we may feel "gratitude challenged." This is not my term and I am grateful to Lori (posted under Artemis 611 dated 9/12) for giving her permission to use it. I would ask one thing of all of us. Please read the latest "Gratitude Challenged" post/posts each time you are on the forum and tuck that/those person/persons in your prayer whatever form your prayer takes.

If you are in the midst of a "Gratitude Challenged" period/day, please feel free to post in this thread with a short little explanation. If you choose not to explain and just prefer stating that at the present time you are really feeling gratitude challenged, that's OK. Perhaps in the midst of one of these times just knowing of all the prayerful support from the forum members will help sustain each of us through it. Here is a quote from Lori's post.
quote:

I'm feeling really "gratitude challenged" today. I'm afraid I didn't maintain my serenity very well.


< Message edited by Imenuff -- 9/14/2007 7:54:32 AM >


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Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 1
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/14/2007 6:43:25 PM   
buttington

 

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I have to admit that today I have been feeling decidedly 'Gratitude challenged.' A bit gloomy in fact. No big problems, just old ones giving me a prod again!

I suppose disappointment is one feeling, after another bit of unpleasantness at home with my Son. Do we expect our children to be perfect? After all, they are on 'journeys' too and have good and bad days. If he was living somewhere else I wouldn't be involved in his bad days I suppose, nor he in mine.

It certainly is challenging!!!!!!      J

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/14/2007 9:19:04 PM   
artemis611

 

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J.:  I'm sorry you're feeling gloomy today.  It seems like you're coming to some acceptance of the situation, though.  I liked when you said that if your son were living somewhere else, you wouldn't be involved in his bad days.  I know it must be terribly difficult to live together and not experience his bad days (especially since he likes so much to try and make his bad days all about you!).  But I hope that you're getting to a place in your relationship with him where you can really let him have his bad days without taking on his bad day.  (I'm not sure if that made any sense, it's Friday night and I'm not able to put two thoughts together too well!)  Anyway, I'm thinking about you.

Lori

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/15/2007 10:15:33 AM   
buttington

 

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Dear Lori,

that made perfect sense - thank you!  J

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/17/2007 11:23:24 PM   
artemis611

 

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I feel gratitude challenged again today.  I just feel too busy.  Work has been busy, but I've had so many other obligations as well.  I'm trying to hang in there through next week and then both my work and my personal life should let up a bit.  Please say a prayer for me that I can hang in there without hurting a lot of people with my words.

Lori

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To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 5
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/18/2007 5:43:06 AM   
Solomon

 

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I'm curious, guys. What do you think it is that makes us "gratitude challenged"? I have days liek this myself, when I can see the things to be grateful for, and I'm grateful for them, but only intellectually, not emotionally. I wonder why this is?

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/18/2007 6:24:18 AM   
Imenuff

 

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Solomon, you put it so well
quote:

I can see the things to be grateful for, and I'm grateful for them, but only intellectually, not emotionally. I wonder why this is?
I was just going to respond to Lori when I saw your post. Thank you for asking the question. The older I get, the more I realize that questions are so much more valuable than answers. Initially, I was going to post that I, too, am in one of those places of feeling gratitude challenged. Your question has been real gift because in different situations, when I experience these times, it would bring up different answers. A couple of more questions have popped into mind from my own life and gratitude challenged times--What is going on right now and what did/do I want to happen in this situation and how do/will I feel if it doesn't. Sometimes for me it becomes a bit of a control issue-- I am really struggling to achieve what I see as the "most" desirable result; sometimes it is a bit of pride where I feel myself "on the line" and the fear comes in of how I will look if??

I am not sure there is any one answer at all times even for one of us. Thank you for asking the question, though. It invites me to do some honest journaling in response.

Lori, I will tuck you and Solomon along with me in prayer. Yes, I have found it important to pray for me regularly. I think it comes down to that good old "Love your neighbor AS you love yourself.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 7
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/18/2007 6:34:26 AM   
artemis611

 

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Thanks, Betty.  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.  You're in mine too, because I appreciate you so much!

Solomon, I agree that I come up with a lot of different answers to your question.  For me, sometimes it's fatigue.  But just having to answer this question helps me realize that what's happening for me right now is that I'm looking into the future and seeing so much to do, I feel overwhelmed just looking into the future.  So it reminds me to take it one day at a time.  It reminds me to pace myself, to take those small 5- or 10-minute opportunities for meditation or prayer or re-centering, to take a deep breath and check in with myself occasionally.  And also, when I do get home after long days, not to try to accomplish a lot around the house, but to get whatever rest I can. 

This is a great question.  I hope more people post their answers.

Lori

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To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 8
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/18/2007 7:47:13 AM   
Solomon

 

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I'm inclined to think that there is always something to be grateful for, but we don't always have our "gratitude glasses" on.

I had to have my old dog put to sleep a few months ago. I was quite cut up about it. But even on that day, I still managed to find 8 things to be grateful for. As Peter McWilliams reminds us in
Wealth 101 (a fantastic book on wealth and gratitude), sometimes you need to have the "negative" stuff in life, just so you appreciate the positive stuff. When your washing machine breaks down, it makes you realise just how much you take for granted the fact that it normally works.

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Things I'm Grateful For - Updated Daily. Now updated to the new Mk II version.
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 2:03:49 AM   
garysgirl1010

 

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Excellent question, Wise Solomon, and just as good an answer.  It made me think quite a lot and it made me remember a conversation I had with my father when I was a young bride and things just weren't going well financially.  He reminded me that things could always be worse, and I insisted that I was aware of that but that I still wanted them to be better.  Unflappable as always, he left me with that well known proverb, "I wept because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."

Obviously no matter how much better we'd like for it to be, we are continually surrounded with things that by rights we ought to be grateful for:  the fresh air we breathe, the beautiful sunrises and sunsets, the lovely grass being cut, the kind smile of a stranger, a cupboard with food, a warm bath...  Intellectually we do recognize those things when we sit and compile a list of the "good things" in our lives. 

Sometimes I confuse gratitude for relief and vice versa.  I'm not sure the words aren't interchangeable actually--maybe a half empty/half full gratitude issue.  For example, am I grateful that the hibiscus plant my mother gave me has weathered the miserably hot summer and is absolutely covered in beautiful yellow blooms OR am I relieved that my mother won't have an excuse to chide me about my inherent brown thumb?   And, another, am I grateful that my wonderfully reliable car purrs like a kitten two full weeks after the manufacturer's warranty expired or am I relieved that I haven't as yet had to dip into the Christmas Stocking fund to have it repaired?

At other times I wonder if I should feel grateful or entitled.  For example, should I be grateful that the bulb lit when I turned on the lamp or am I entitled to have light because I've purchased those long-life, planet-friendly spiral things and also paid my electric bill?  And oddly enough, today I was absolutely stunned when I returned an almost-year-old telephone to the wireless store to complain about what appeared to be a short in it.  I was told that it was still under warranty and they would happily replace it!  What??  I didn't have to argue or beg or demand--you're just going to give me a new phone?  WOW!

Obviously some things stick out more because they're unexpected:  the "out of the blue" opportunity to share time with a loved one; learning of the healing of a sick friend, seeing a stunning rainbow -- and those are the things that tend to touch us emotionally.  That special little something that stood out as having made our day or warmed our heart.

So, to opine in a sentence what I've taken a full page to do:  I believe it's okay to be grateful intellectually for those things that we know are blessings in our lives and take some what for granted -- and also to be grateful emotionally when we are truly touched.  Tonight I'll pray that all of you have a special blessing tomorrow that helps you to feel that emotional gratitude we all so deeply need!

And if any of you have managed to wade through these ramblings, I'll be surprised (and grateful)!!

Love to all,
Lolly

Post #: 10
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 2:26:00 AM   
garysgirl1010

 

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Lori:  It's hard to believe you hurt many people with your words.  Your posts portray you as such a kind person.  I loved your words:
quote:

At times when I feel down, coming to this site makes me feel better, just because it reminds me we're all in this messy life together.  Might as well hold hands and hang on.

Grab hold for some "virtual hand holding," and we'll all try to pull you through this next trying week.  I'm praying tonight your load will become more bearable until it lightens.
 
 
Betty:  We often forget that people with a confident and gentle spirit like yours can find themselves feeling unsure or challenged in any way.  We believe those like you are here to pull the rest of us through!  Tonight I'm happy to join you in prayer, my new Friend, in hopes that you will see the results you desire and find relief from your struggle.  I miss you!
 
Love,
Lolly
 
 


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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 8:18:52 AM   
Imenuff

 

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Dear Lolly, Thank you for praying for the special blessing today. It has been received in reading your posts. I especially like the part
quote:

For example, should I be grateful that the bulb lit when I turned on the lamp or am I entitled to have light because I've purchased those long-life, planet-friendly spiral things and also paid my electric bill?
.

I often question that "entitled to have"? Am I really entitled to it. Please, this is just my own personal questioning so I will continue my babble--What makes me entitled to it--an accident of birth?? What did I do to earn being born in this country instead of a place like Darfur. While a good 2/3 of the world lives in such abject poverty and without even clean water, what did I do to earn being born in such a "lap of luxury" from the perspective of 2/3 of the world? All the water I waste, while my brothers and sisters get life threatening illness and die of disease and the water I use to flush my toilet is so much cleaner and more pure than what they drink.

And so we go back to Frances of Assisi "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me." I often need to give myself a good swift kick with a loud "How dare you! Look around and see your brothers and sisters who are dieing of starvation, disease, etc." But I cannot deny my feelings. They must be honored and dealt with. While I realize that many of these feelings which occur are because of the society I was raised in that preaches More is the only way, The yardstick of your worth is your achievements, etc. In truth, I cannot scapegoat society but must admit that in so many ways either consciously or subconsciously I have bought into this thinking.

quote:

We often forget that people with a confident and gentle spirit like yours can find themselves feeling unsure or challenged in any way
Dear Lolly, among some of my friends who also do spiritual companioning, we have decided that God has called us to this because we have the most yet to learn and each individual we personally meet with teaches us so much and invites and challenges our own personal growth. It's kind of like being moderator of this forum. I "have" to check it regularly to make sure there is no spam being posted. In truth, the Holy One has me doing it because Diviine Wisdom knows how much I need the wisdom of each of you.

Thank you so much for your prayers. They gave me the grace to once again realize that I had fallen into the trap of working toward "the results that I desired," rather than putting in the effort, and allowing the Holy One to do with the effort what Divine Knowledge knew was best.

NAMASTE to all of you who post. You all are truly gift to me! Blessings on all of you.

Sorry this has developed into a "tome". Please remember a dear friend whose husband died yesterday. She had been through hell in her childhood and first marriage. This was truly her soul mate. When she told me of his death, her comment was "I am lost and my heart hurts."
Please send prayers to Judy.


_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 12
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 1:11:40 PM   
Solomon

 

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If you want to give something to people who need it more than you do, there's always Kiva.org.

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 2:33:35 PM   
Imenuff

 

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Solomon, you are so right! I just had one of my larger loans repaid and when I attempted to reloan the money, they only had 5 individuals and had set a limit of $25. Apparently, from Bill Clinton's book on Giving and the appearance of the founders on Opra Winfrey, they got so swamped with individuals wanting to make loans that they were extremely low on individuals who needed loans. Thanks for reminding me to go back and check so that I can reloan the rest of what was paid back.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 14
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 10:56:11 PM   
artemis611

 

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Lolly, Betty and Solomon:  Thanks for your words of wisdom and support.  So far I don't think I've hurt anyone with my words!  I'm glad it's Wednesday, the worst is behind me.  It gets better from here, which is reason enough to feel grateful!  Knowing you were all here thinking of me did help.  I felt your support, even though I wasn't able to be logged in very much.  Thank you for your "virtual hand holding," as Lolly put it.  I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel!

Lori

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To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 15
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/19/2007 10:59:47 PM   
artemis611

 

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Betty:  I'm lighting a candle for Judy in the "all" group and keeping her in my thoughts and prayers.

Lori

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/20/2007 4:37:35 PM   
Colin

 

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Is Gratitude a feeling or an action? For me I think it is an action, as a recovered alcoholic I try to accept each day as it comes together with the content in the day. I also try and apply the truth that the only thing I can truly change in the world is my perspective on my life and accept that everything that comes my way, comes for my good. It may take some time for me to see the good (minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and sometimes even years) but if I am willing to look the good is there so I strive to express my gratefulness for everything that comes my way on a daily basis.
True enough sometimes it is very, very hard to feel grateful, I lost my wife 12 years ago and had to struggle for months to gain some acceptance and gratitude, now years later I am grateful for the incredible strength that I found within myself.each time I am able to do this I approach that blissful state where I am grateful each and every moment of each and every day, some days now I begin to live in the very moment and am grateful for the ability to do this.
Love and hugs.
Colin x
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/20/2007 5:48:12 PM   
buttington

 

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Hi Colin,
Welcome! I think Gratitude is a state of mind. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of our lives we need to find at least one thing to be grateful about in a day. It's also about seeing that little chink of light in the dark, acknowledging something or someone who has brightened our day. Probably the list is a long one, but it's the end of a long day for me here in Britain!

I hope Sharon (another visitor here) sees your post because you obviously have the ability to see that light at the end of the tunnel & I don't she can yet. But there is obviously life after alcoholism and personal tragedy because you are a glowing example of it.

Best wishes,  J

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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/21/2007 3:31:07 PM   
buttington

 

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Difficult to see that chink of light today....nothing drastic, just little things, one being it's raining
Also I've been having a little flare-up of Fibromyalgia at the same time as being full-time carer of my Granddaughter, who, bless her, has brought a virus home from school and given it to me
Her Dad has been away for his work all week, and naturally, as she's feeling unwell,she wanted a bit of sympathy from him when he came home. But he only had eyes for his girl-friend. Oooooooooh, I know the feeling!
I'm sure there is a chink of light there somewhere if I look hard enough     J

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Love is the only way
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/21/2007 5:00:30 PM   
Solomon

 

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Things could be much worse. :)                    

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