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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...."

 
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/18/2008 8:47:06 AM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2720
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: online 		Dear Betty, I am sorry that today is one of those days when everything seems to cave in on you. I am glad you can express your frustration and fatigue so eloquently. I am sure the Lord will listen to you and carry you through all this difficult stuff in your life.
I'll light a candle for you in the ALL group and keep you in my prayers!

Much love and many warm hugs,  (((((Betty))))
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 241
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/18/2008 1:08:40 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear Betty,
As someone who is going through it a bit too at the moment, I SO understand your feelings, and send you lots of Hugs and Love to help sustain you.

By the way, Imee's cousin helps me enormously.

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 242
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/18/2008 4:10:01 PM   
J1937

 

Posts: 871
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Austria/Europe
Status: offline 		Dear Betty,
dear Jude,

I feel sorry for both of you, and I keep your concerns in my heart. There are candles for both of you in the ALL group.

Love and hugs,
Juliana
_____________________________
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict

Post #: 243
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 1:03:33 AM   
Thankful one

 

Posts: 1910
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Betty,
I don't know what to do about stoves and other appliances that come in and out of our lives so quickly. It's frustrating for sure.

All I can say is that I prefer to have appliances come and go out of my life more than good friends - who I hope stay in my life.

I am praying that you feel better. Thanks for allowing us to be the folks that you vent some steam off with in this forum.

I would like to send you a little something to let you know that beauty and God's everpresent love are two things that never leave us.

Since I don't have a picture of God's everpresent love (it's too huge for that), I'll settle for something of beauty to pick up your spirits. I will keep you in my prayers and hold thoughts of steady working appliances for you in mind.

Post #: 244
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 4:08:25 AM   
celtic star

 

Posts: 468
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		Hi All, I haven't logged on for a while it's just one of those times where there are two many things to juggle, too many plates to keep spinning in the air........
Anyway, I feel and pray for everyone encountering difficulties in whatever shape or size at present. May we all be led to "calmer waters"  - QUICKLY!
Namaste
Glenys x
Post #: 245
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 2:44:01 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Amen to that Glenys!!!!!!!!!!

What a fantastic picture T.O. Sunflowers have been very special flowers for me since the dark days of my marriage break-up and I have lots of pictures of them, and artificial ones too dotted all over the house.

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 246
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 4:43:42 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 822
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		T.O. Thank you for the prayers and the sunflower. I would appreciate the prayers going to my brother since they have now said that the cancer has metastasized and is also in his one lung and liver. Most of the frustration was just working to the point of exhaustion, not about appliances although that is part of it when they refuse to do a simple repair and instead, trash the whole unit. The real frustration comes as Jude said when there is very serious illiness and all the pettiness just seems to resurface again. I just don't understand why you can't find a picture of God's everpresent love. (LOL) Without firm belief in that, as I am sure most of us can say, none of us would have ever made it through the tragedies that from time to time face all of us. Thank you again for the sunflower.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 247
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 4:57:49 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 822
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Jude, Imee asked that you please tell her cousin Hi and also tell her that she is to take as good of care of you as Imee does of me. I am so pleased you found her cousin. They are a very special "family" of comforters.

Glenys, Welcome back to the world of spinning plates and juggling. Much prayer goes your way that things will settle down long enough for you to at least catch your breath. ((((((((((((((((((((((Love)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Edda,Jude, Juliana and all of you thank you for all the candles for Paul and for me. He has a really long, long road ahead of him. His one daughter is supposed to give birth the end of June and is having problems and his son has been activated to help sandbag for all the flooding. Please continue to pray for all. I have finally convinced his wife that she has to set aside some time for self-care each day. It would not be good if she got sick in the midst of all of this. Blessings on you all for a peace filled weekend. Edda, blessings on your prayer group tomorrow.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 248
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 5:12:30 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Betty, do take care of yourself too. This is obviously a testing time for your family.

Many Blessings to all of you, and special Love from cousin Amee who is indeed a great comforter.

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 249
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 6:01:37 PM   
Thankful one

 

Posts: 1910
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Today I feel more gratitude ((((challenged)))) than I have in a long time. Talk about popping my balloon. Yikes!

I have been working on a project for a long time and have spent months working with a true gentleman to make it happen. I have invested a tremendous amount of time and energy in a relationship with him and his team.

Today he called up and said that his Board of Directors has said he can no longer support the project. They He reiterated that he has enjoyed our personal interactions and that he feels like assisting the project very much. This is an abrupt change from all our conversations including our most recent conversation a few days ago.

I am grateful that he made up his mind and had the decency to let me know one way or the other. I'll just pick myself and start again with a different plan, that's all.


Post #: 250
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 6:27:56 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2720
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: online 		Dear Thankful one, I am sorry to hear about this disappointing turn of events for you. It is hard to start all over again after investing so much time and energy. As you point out, it is good to have at least clarity.

I keep you in my prayers,
Much love,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!
Post #: 251
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 7:30:51 PM   
Thankful one

 

Posts: 1910
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Jude,
Imagine my surprise when I came across this picture of you with a sunflower!

Edda,
Thank you for your words of compassion and your aways helpful advice.

Glenys,
Good to hear from you. Nice of you to drop in to say howdydodee.

Juliana,
I trust all is well with you. Thanks for being so generous to all of us.

Barbara,
Thanks for including me on the REFF newsletters so I can keep up with all you are accomplishing in your so needed ministry to people who need what you so graciously offer.

Betty,
I will keep Paul in my prayers that he will find some comfort and relief from the painful situation he finds himself in.

It is helpful for me to know what others are going through. It helps me to remember that all my problems are little compared to the life and death issues others are unfortunately going through.

To all who linger on this forum, jump in - the water's warm, soft and pleasant!

Post #: 252
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/20/2008 8:48:32 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 822
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Thankful One, I am so sorry to learn that what you had hoped and worked so hard for disappeared with one phone call. It is so disappointing to invest so much time and so much of yourself into a project only to have the ring of the telephone wipe it out. A candle will be lit in the All group with prayer that all the time effort and energy that you invested in this project maybe used for something with even more potential. May you be blessed.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 253
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 5:57:53 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear T.O. my heart is very much with you. When you put your heart and soul into something you believe in only to have it taken from under you, it's a very hard thing to understand.

When my Son and his girlfriend split up she sent me a very brave text saying that "someone even more wonderful will be just around the corner." I would like to see them back together, but if not I certainly hope that comes true for her.

And for you.

Well, I have really changed colour by the picture you found of 'me'  I'm afraid I'm a real 'pale-face' with fair skin and blond-going-white hair. Lovely picture though.

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 254
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 10:57:46 AM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 449
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Today I decided to post here as I felt life challenged , personally challenged stemming from organization, planning challenged, perhaps patience challenged not sure if I was gratitude challenged because a stillness has come over me to a point of inertia at times....then I read all your posts and realized how grateful I should be so I am here to say Im going to pray for Betty's family at this time of her brothers health and transition, Jude and family, Juliana for you and yours, Marie, and Glenys and I will pray God helps me to be always grateful .....
T.O. I have experienced that call  and watching others take credit for programs I developed which led me to my little home office ....and my own work I became embittered for a while too focused on the loss it was like giving birth and having someone snatch the baby(my project)so I will pray you will learn quicker what I needed to  learn  our work, creative ideas are God's we are the vehicles and he will always find the places for our work ideas or creations
Namaste and Peace to all here
Blessed Be
Barbara T

_____________________________

Our Glory Is not In Never Falling
Our Glory Is Rising Every Time We Fall
Confuscious
Post #: 255
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 12:02:15 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 822
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Barbara, what a beautiful way of putting it. Like giving birth, it is so difficult to let go of that very special "baby" that we have carried, nurtured, gone through "labor pains and delivery pains" with and then have it snatched away as in your case or seemingly "still born" in T.O.'s case. As with all "new life" whether creative or actual, you are right, the Holy One is the initial author of it. May you both find the "open doors" and "new nurseries" for all the "creative births" the Holy One initiated in each of you. Blessings on you both for a peace filled weekend.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 256
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 1:03:11 PM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 449
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Betty you have the God given gift of hearing feelings and articulating words that draw pictures so beautifully What a lovely empathic you are I love the vision you created fro me having said that I realize Im awaiting a new nursery from God and I am so calm and quiet it is unerving to me I also realize Im in acceptance of all that is not knowing what is is arriving and calm from hearing the sound of the pool waters all week and now the sound just is here in my heart and head Im not sure how all these are entwined but it has created a very passive me find myself not rushing with newsletters or pounding keys to market for now.....not worried about the disarray of the house and who is or is not helping the situation by unpacking or not etc.....just living in the peace of the moment looking to experience in between the moments.
Bless you for being an angel guide in my life
Namaste
Barbara T

_____________________________

Our Glory Is not In Never Falling
Our Glory Is Rising Every Time We Fall
Confuscious
Post #: 257
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 1:40:42 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Barbara, I too know that feeling of stillness. Sometimes nothing comes of it and sometimes something very special comes out of it. It's like an oasis where wisdom dwells and we can open to it or not, depending on how we feel.

I'm feeling very apprehensive about facing my Son and have been in that place quite a lot this week. The moment in my garden was definitely a time when I was open to the divine, and I felt the whole garden wrap itself around me like arms.

The thing is, the divine is always there, but we don't often notice.

Lots of Love, I'm in there with you. Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 258
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 4:20:26 PM   
Thankful one

 

Posts: 1910
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Last night and today I read Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Ramen. I have been reading and rereading many different posts on this site for several days in a row from all of you. Each post has given me additional strength to be able to feel my pain.

Thank you all for sharing your pain as it greatly helps me to feel mine.

Today I felt moved to grieve. I felt strong enough to let myself grieve. I put off the day's regularly scheduled events.

It sure hurts a lot... A whole lot...

I went to the spot on the front of the property where my oldest daughter used to wait to see me when I was coming home. There is nothing that would make my heart soar like coming down the driveway and seeing my oldest daughter sitting in the near dark in her "power spot" waiting to see me. She would greet me with a big hug and tell me that she loved me with all her heart and that she really missed me. She would tell me not to work so late sometimes as it was making her cold waiting for me.

There were too many times when she would need to come in because it got dark or she got too cold or she needed to do some schoolwork. I am so sorry for those days I put work ahead of my family life.

When she was waiting for me, my daughter would come back to the house to pee but the rest of the time she would sit and just wait by herself. Many times my wife would call and tell me that I needed to come home from work right now because it was getting close to dark and she didn't want our daughter just waiting there for me when it was getting dark.

My oldest daughter lugged a big outside chair there herself so she would have a place to sit and wait for me. She just missed me and wanted to see me. She also wanted me to feel special and was glad that it did my heart so much good to see her there waiting for me so she could be the first person to greet me. It was empowering to her to be able to show her love for me in that meaningful way.

As a family my oldest daughter would encourage us to go sit there as she felt a special connection to that spot. We ended up moving other chairs there. It was the place where we would sit as a family when we wanted to just sit as opposed to eating outside on our little deck.

When she could get us to sit there as a family, my oldest daughter liked to start and keep family conversations going there. She would usually start by sharing some of her heart and the things lately that had mattered to her. My wife and I were amazed at the depth of her ability to be in touch with her feelings and the willingness and ease with which she shared her heart like that.

We even dragged some large decorated rectangular concrete flower basins there. It was their idea as a way to make the place be even more special. We brought some bricks to put underneath so the water would be able to flow out the bottom when we had in a big rain. The girls wanted to be the ones to put the dirt in the pots. We bought seeds and both girls planted flowers there in their own separate flower pots.

Sometimes if the pitchers were in the cupboards they would ask one of us to get the water pitcher for them. They would both insist that they could fill and carry the big pitchers of water so that they could take care of their flowers. My youngest daughter would sometimes on her own water both flower pots. She would proudly tell her older sister that she had watered her sister's flowers as well. My oldest daughter would hug her and tell her she loved her and thank you very much.

When I let them know the first shoots had come up after a good rain, they dropped everything to go see them. They liked to see "their flowers" grow and were excited to see them continue to get taller. They even planted the bean seeds they got in Brownies there.

They were both excited and talked about what the flowers would look like. They said they were going to pick them and give them to Mom and Dad. They had plans to give some of the flowers to their adopted grandmother and their Brownie leaders.

They both were always generous like that thinking of giving to others. They use to like to bake cookies and go around the neighborhood just giving out fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. My oldest daughter would especially like to frequently tell me she loved me with all her heart.

********************************************************

I decided to make two small ceremonial graves for the daily relationship with my daughters that I have lost. I took some of their favorite oblong glass beads and wrote their initials in each of their graves with these small beads. I couldn't bear to cover it up yet as I am not ready yet.

My heart is broken. I carry on because I need to and I am sick of just crying. I sincerely pray for weakness that allows me to grieve. I know I need to just sit with my grief and feel the loss. It's good to cry. It helps me a lot to focus on the beauty of life when my heart is so heavy so I appreciate you letting me post pictures of things that look nice to me.
Post #: 259
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 6/21/2008 5:34:16 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 2244
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear T.O. Stay with your grief and let it take it's natural and healing course. I'm glad you are finding ways to get in touch with your feelings.

Don't be in a hurry to 'bury' your daughters' past relationship with you. To me that feels like giving up hope of ever having one with them in the future, which I am sure you will. Never give up hope.

I feel priveleged to be sharing your journey and, I hope, helping you on it.

Be assured that your picture posts are a great help to us too.

Also, now is the time to really look out for that "curve of joy."

Heartfelt hugs, I'm in there with you,

Love, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 260
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