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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...."

 
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/21/2007 5:21:52 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		I know!    J

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Love is the only way
Post #: 21
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/21/2007 7:09:30 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 645
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Jude, Please know that both you and your granddaughter will be held in prayer that something specially good happens for both of you. Yes, it could always be worse, but it hurts in our hearts when we are taken for granted, or ignored when we are sick. May the Holy One bring a special blessing to both you and your Granddaughter to show both of you that in spite of your son/her dad's actions, you both are very specially loved and deserving of much better treatment. The Holy One truly knows what heart hurts feel like and I pray that you both be blessed with heart joys to replace these heart hurts.

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Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 22
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/21/2007 7:55:21 PM   
artemis611

 

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Jude:  I'm sorry to hear about the day you're having and that you're feeling worse physically.  I'm thinking of you and your granddaughter. 

Hugs,
Lori

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To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 23
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/22/2007 6:43:20 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		Thank you Lori and Betty for your Love.

Hugs back to you!!!

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Love is the only way
Post #: 24
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/23/2007 12:08:22 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 645
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Jude, hopefully a little piece of joy has popped in for you and your granddaughter. Maybe at least it is not raining and the pain has lessened a little.

Hugs and prayers,

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 25
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/23/2007 5:31:07 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		Thank you all for your good wishes. I had a lovely day yesterday with my friend, despite the virus steadily getting worse My Granddaughter of course is quite fit now She seems happier, even though her Dad went out for Sunday lunch with his girlfriend. Unfortunate that it had to be today, but there it is. She's had to become resilient, like so many children today, with the lack of stability in their lives. The Fibromyalgia is a bit better though, so your prayers and good wishes are working
Love J

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Love is the only way
Post #: 26
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/26/2007 8:09:31 PM   
artemis611

 

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		I have recently had a huge insight.  I am realizing how much time and energy I spend expecting people to hurt me or disregard me, and feeling hurt and disregarded even though it hasn't actually happened.  (Duh!)  No wonder I have "gratitude challenged" days, if I keep having them in my mind but not in reality!! 

Anybody have any words of wisdom for me?

Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 27
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/27/2007 5:39:38 AM   
Solomon

 

Posts: 205
Joined: 6/9/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know about words of wisdom, but I'll have a stab.

Thought 1] It's way easier said than done, but stop expecting people to hurt or disregard you. Conciously choose to think that "Fred is going to be nice to me", "Mary will bring me some flowers", etc. Also, look for evidence that this is the case. A driver let's you out in traffic - why not verbally thank "Mr Blue Car driver"? He wont hear you, but you will hear you, and it's a piece of evidence that someone out there cares. Write down all the nice things that people do for you, each day. The clerk at the grocery store who smiles at you when you approach the checkout. Mr Blue car driver.

Thought 2] I love my family, and my friends. I love my dog. But I don't allow them to "own" me. I conciously choose the responses I have to their emotional stimuli. For example, if my mom is having a moan about a friend of hers, I don't get involved. I listen to what she has to say, offer some advice, make her a cup of tea and then forget about it. I don't allow her to make me feel miserable. Her emotions are her emotions, just like mine are mine. I don't let er emotions overshadow my own.

The way I see it, folk are constantly giving "gifts". When my mom was moaning, she was giving me the "gift" of a bad mood. I looked at the gift, decided I didn't want it, and didn't accept it. She wasn't doing it maliciously, she was just having a bad day. So I refused to accept the gift. She felt better for a whinge, and I felt better for serving her by listening to her moan and making her a cup of tea.

When someone tries to offer you a gift, it's OK to say "No thank you!".

Also, congratulations on having the insight. You've just opened another window to your house.


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Things I'm Grateful For - Updated Daily. Now updated to the new Mk II version.
Post #: 28
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/27/2007 7:57:00 AM   
artemis611

 

Posts: 375
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Solomon, thank you for your reply.  I think I do pretty well at your Thought #2, but I DEFINITELY need some work on Thought #1.  It uses one idea that I've shared with my patients, but haven't thought to do for myself, writing down the nice things people do for me every day.  What you're saying makes a lot of sense, it's probably easier to consciously have a positive thought than to try to "stop" having negative ones, and the positive ones can become habit as much as the negative ones can.  I also appreciate what you say about people giving us "gifts," that we don't have to take. 

Thank you, Solomon, for taking time to respond and giving me inspiration.

Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 29
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/28/2007 9:24:26 AM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 645
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Solomon, thank you for the words of wisdom. I must agree with both you and Lori,
quote:

Thought 1] It's way easier said than done, but stop expecting people to hurt or disregard you.
I don't know about you all but in my own life, these situations
quote:

Lori

time and energy I spend expecting people to hurt me or disregard me, and feeling hurt and disregarded even though it hasn't actually happened
usually happen more when I am "down" on my self. It almost seems as though when I don't have an attitude of acceptance of self, "warts and all" that is when I most expect others to be non-accepting/hurtful toward me.

Thank you both for your wisdom and honesty.

Today I Feel Gratitude Challenged/Real Sadness about the situation in Burma. It angers me to hear the leaders from the industrialized nations offer lip-service to stopping the violence all the while the major oil/gas corporations of our countries are supporting these ruthless, corrupt dictatorships. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!" May we all offer prayers for our suffering brothers and sisters and add our own voices against such violence caused by political corruption.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 30
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 9/28/2007 3:22:47 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		May Peace be in my heart
May Peace be in your heart
May Peace be in the hearts of all mankind. Amen


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Love is the only way
Post #: 31
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/6/2007 7:20:58 PM   
bookdragon

 

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/19/2007
From: central Florida
Status: offline 		What a great topic. Hi, Colin, I'm one of you! For me gratitude is an action word. Someone opens a door for me, I say thank you, there was a time when I didn't, I just glared and went in the door. I  love the thought that someone else's bad day can be a "gift" that I can chose to accept or not. If I am grateful for what I have, today, then when somone is having a bad day and they share it with me, I can remember when I was having one and be grateful for the good days.

When the days are going wrong, I was taught to make a list, what am I grateful for today. Some days it is really hard to do, others I could fill a legal pad with what I am grateful for. If I am in the car, then I can start one in my head, think about what is good about the day. Now, of course, being human, I don't do this all the time! Sometimes I chose to wallow in the anger and fear. When I have had enough, I look around and think "I love my husband-I HAVE a husband, my dog loves me and I love him, I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, a job I enjoy, volunteer work I love".....etc. First and formost on this list is God and my sobriety, because without these two-there is nothing.

Jude-prayers for you, your granddaughter and son. I, too, suffer from chronic pain and there are days when I can't function. Again, offering the pain and asking for gratitude for the day helps.

I'menuff, I'm with you in your frustration with the sutuation in Burma-I ask God for guidance for the people there all the time.

Hope everyone is having a blessed and joyous weekend.

Love, Lyla


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One Day At A Time
Post #: 32
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/12/2007 5:04:05 PM   
china34doll

 

Posts: 94
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Buttington; I agree on your statement;I'm in that same situation times two;first with my son when I finally asked him to leave as I needed my space to clear up clogged thoughts,he joined the army and since married,he has a home,wife and twins,now its my husband and we both are very sick he is a negative angry person and the sicker he gets the worse his attitude is,but I always remember that I married him for better or for worse,in sickness and in health.I need to remind my self of that every day.I have recently gotten into buddhism forum and found thousands of pages on my life,personalities and the whole nine yards.I'm not trying to promote any religion just the fact that this is what I chose to get me thought my hardest times when I have no one else. sorry about lengthly message Thanks
Post #: 33
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/12/2007 5:13:14 PM   
china34doll

 

Posts: 94
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		 I learn to be grateful by looking at those that have less,such as I have MS & for months even years I spent valuable time feeling sorry for my self when I took a really good look around me I found two young women with  teenaged children and not being able to cook,clean,go to  sports with them,or even their prom,or to ever be able to run with them and play,my heart goe's out to all those that haven't be able to capture the beauty in the world and I call that being given a second chance at life and thats why I am so grateful today.Thanks
Post #: 34
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/13/2007 5:47:09 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		China, you amaze me with your ability to bounce back!!

Lots of Love, Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 35
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/13/2007 5:56:51 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		Dear China, sometimes it's the Diabetes which makes people bad-tempered. His insulin dosage may need changing, so best to get him to see someone about it.

I can't ask my Son to leave as he owns half the house

Love Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 36
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/13/2007 2:36:13 PM   
bookdragon

 

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/19/2007
From: central Florida
Status: offline 		Last night, as I was trying to deal with the chronic pain that I have, I started making a gratitude list in my head. I'd like to share it with all of you. First and foremost is God and my sobriety-without those I would have nothing. Then there is my husband. He ended up in the hospital on Tuesday. I went immediately to "that place"..you know-he's dead or dying and I can't live without him, place. Well, on the way to the hospital, I just started to think about all the times that God has taken us to this place or similar ones and started to realize that I was getting way ahead of myself. As it turned out, it was something that was easliy treated and he came home the next day and is back to work. Next, my dog-as dumb as it sounds, we never had children, sooo. He cuddled up next to me the night my husband was in the hospital-no questions-just unconditional love and acceptance.

Then there is my 12 step family. They listened to the babbling and fear, offered prayer and support and let me know that they were with me all the way. One came and picked me and took me to the car-my husband had it at work and then put gas in it for me. He also gave me clear and simple directions to the hospital, in another city that I was unfamiliar with. Others simply gave me silent support, called me and made sure I was all right and celebrated with me when my husband was ok.

I have a roof over my head, books to read-I average 10-15 books a week, food in the fridge and so many other things.

I slept, finally and the pain isn't so debilitating, today. Did thinking about all those things I have to be grateful for have anything to do with that? I don't know, but it sure couldn't hurt.

I have to remember, when I am gratitude challenged, that I have so much to be grateful for and without those things-well, I don't want to think about where I would be. I just know that I love today, for right now and that I hope for a better tomorrow.

Love, Lyla

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One Day At A Time
Post #: 37
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/13/2007 3:28:07 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2232
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Dear Lylan, I can sympathize with your anticipation of terrible things happening that never happen. It is so hard to stay in the moment! I think it is fine to be grateful that worries were unfounded!
I am reminded of Teresa of Avila who said of some of her sisters that they excused themselves from prayer because either they had had a headache, were having a headache or might get one!

I am glad your husband is well again and your pain not too bad!

Love,  Edda

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Peace and joy!
Post #: 38
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/13/2007 6:54:28 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1501
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online 		Dear Lyla,
Thank you for reminding us how important it is to list things we are grateful for. They can get lost in our rush to think the worst. I'm very good at imagining the worst! Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 39
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 10/14/2007 10:40:20 AM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 645
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		This morning, I "felt" really gratitude challenged when I woke up late, rushed to Mass because of being the assigned lector, and sank in the bench after doing the first readings. The Gospel (main reading for those not Catholic) was about the ten lepers that were healed and only one came back to say thank you and he was the one who was religiously unacceptable to the priestly class. The homily consisted of the "excuses" of the other nine and how much we all use those same excuses. THEN IT PROCEEDED TO QUESTIONS--What did I do to "earn" sight when so many are blind--A free gift. What did I do to earn being born in a free country rather than a dictatorship? What did I do to earn being able to walk, to talk, to hear, to have the intelligence I have rather than being mentally handicapped. WHAT DID I DO TO EARN ALL OF THIS??? Did I earn any of it or was it all free gift???

NAMASTE!

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 40
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