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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...."

 
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RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/25/2007 7:58:07 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear Betty, thank you for that! The idea of Pandora's Box is indeed a good one.

However, I do get frustrated thinking that I couldn't possibly have chosen what is happening to me, but of course, it isn't chosen on a conscious level. And our response to a given problem will, in itself, bring results we may not have wished for.

Have a good Sunday,  Love Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 101
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/25/2007 10:05:14 AM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 720
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Jude, What I was trying to refer to is that the "good" and the "bad" are inseparable. When I really plan a vacation, have a spectacular time and everything is as perfect as it could possibly be, it will inevitably be followed by let down on my return home. Life is life and paradox is life. Would I avoid the fantastic vacation because someone explains to me about the letdown after I return home? Do I want to have the spectacular vacation and therefore, freely choose it? Do I want the letdown after it? Did I choose the vacation so that I could have the letdown?? I would guess that when Solomon leaves his old job, there will be a sense of loss either with the people he has been friends with, the secure knowledge that he has done it so often he knows it inside out, etc. There will be loss "bad" but there will also be the "good" of starting something new that more fits him. Life is paradox--the "good" and the "bad" or inseparable. Growth comes in more of a balance toward seeing the "good" in the "bad", i.e., how is/can this become "Good", what is good about it? I can truly say that the last retreat I made was one of the most "painful" I have ever made (directed retreat). Yet, I can also say that it was the best I have ever made and wouldn't change it for all the money in the world. Yes, I chose to go. No, I did not think how great it would be to have it be really painful. Yes, I chose to allow the pain with the insight of how it could bring about greater good in my life. I hope this clarifies it a little. I don't know about you, but I personally would like to throw out that good old law of physics that says for every positive there is a negative or, for every action there is an opposite reaction. I guess, though, if it's been around since the BC times of Greek Mythology, all we can do is "learn to live the questions!"

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Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 102
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/25/2007 12:56:11 PM   
Solomon

 

Posts: 207
Joined: 6/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: buttington

Hence, I wonder if I make it harder for myself by fighting back sometimes.


Perhaps that in itself is a hurdle? Perhaps it's all building up to try to get you to deal with the hurdle you have, instead of jumping other ones? I could be completely wrong, but that's what jumped out at me when I read that.

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Things I'm Grateful For - Updated Daily. Now updated to the new Mk II version.
Post #: 103
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/25/2007 12:59:42 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear Betty, I like to think of the quote, "It's not good or bad.....it just is."

It's all experience, & we put the labels on of 'good' and 'bad.'

Your retreat sounds as if it was really very good, insofar as it may have had far-reaching effects, by the sound of it, for the better, or at least for your best interests?

I can recall some therapy sessions like that. Very painful, but not 'bad'

Hope I'm making sense.  Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 104
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/25/2007 8:35:15 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Solomom, I think I know what you mean. I do resist change though, and I wonder sometimes if I'm supposed to change.
For instance, when my husband wanted to leave, I fought tooth and nail against it........but now, just like the words of the song you posted, I can feel grateful to him for leaving.

Right now I'm fighting tooth and nail to stay living where I am. See what I mean?

Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 105
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/26/2007 5:59:48 AM   
Solomon

 

Posts: 207
Joined: 6/9/2007
Status: offline 		What about "now" is it that you are so attached to? :)            

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Things I'm Grateful For - Updated Daily. Now updated to the new Mk II version.
Post #: 106
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/26/2007 1:27:37 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Solomon, it would take me all day to tell you !!  Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 107
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 11/27/2007 4:13:27 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		I know I should be feeling grateful that it's happening, and I am, but the couselling sessions are SOOOOOOO hard. I feel a bit battered after them.

Also, I'm feeling a mite fed-up with my children, who think I'm not living !! ?????? Not living in a way which they think I should be, maybe. My daughter got quite angry with me last night about it. (bless her, I know she's worried about me)

And.....(moan, moan) I'm disappointed that my son-in-law has decided that he and my daughter and grandson will not stay with me when they travel over for the funeral of my ex mum-in-law.

If it's not mothers and sons it's sons and mothers-in-law.!!!!!
Jude (trying to be cheerful)

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Love is the only way
Post #: 108
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/15/2008 5:54:30 AM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 720
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		I just received the following in regard to my Kiva loans in Kenya and why they may not be repaid(which I really don't care if they aren't). There is a deep, real ache in my gut for these poor individuals who had been attempting to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and start their own businesses which are now destroyed, all for the sake of corrupt power. Please join me in whatever form prayer/sending positive energy takes for you for all these poor little ones.

"The country is now battered almost to a pulp and blood spilt with vengeance, senseless killings and wanton destruction. Markets, food stores and shops have been looted. Hospitals are dysfunctional and health centers incapacitated by riots and barricades.

Hundreds of people have been killed turning thousands of innocent children into helpless orphans and over one million people have been displaced, becoming internal refugees over night.

The impact of the riots is most felt in the micro and small business sector. Over 1 million small businesses were looted and or burnt down
destroying the only source of income to millions of Kenyans. Most of the fighting and destruction occurred in slum areas in Nairobi,
Mombasa, Nakuru and Kericho in Rift Valley. "

The above has not been filtered and sanitized by some country's news organization who is attempting to put their own spin on the information. It is written by the gentleman who lives in Kenya and assists in making the Kiva loans.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 109
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/15/2008 8:34:12 AM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2357
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Betty, thank you for sharing this with us. The extent of suffering and misery is almost overwhelming. I'll join you in praying for the people and for an end to this senseless violence.

Edda

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Peace and joy!
Post #: 110
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/17/2008 10:42:02 PM   
joeharmony

 

Posts: 160
Joined: 11/21/2007
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Today I feel gratitude challenged by parents and siblings - my own and my partner's.  I feel deep sadness and anger about the choices they've made, and continue to make, that mean that  1. I am glad my dad is not living,  2. I was happy to leave the city where my mum lives,  3. I've had to give my partner lots of support in dealing with her dad's behaviour towards her,  4. I am hesitant about going with my partner when she visits her mum,  5. I had to tell my sister to stop trying to interfere in of my life,  6. my partner is at the stage of telling her sister the same.

Why do people put so much effort into making their "loved ones", who could give them so much love, unhappy?

At least now I've stopped blaming myself, and trying to make it alright.  But it's sad when people can't recieve or give love that doesn't have hurting attached.

Joe
Post #: 111
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/19/2008 11:55:35 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 720
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Joe, I am sorry you are having such painful experiences with both your and your partner's relatives. Many times individuals put so much effort into making others unhappy because they themselves are so unhappy and either don't know what to do about it or are afraid to even attempt to do something about it. When they see others who are happy, it just seems to accentuate their own unhappiness. I am glad you have stopped blaming yourself or trying to make things right. Prayers for you and your partner that your example of love and care for each other will eventually break down their walls.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 112
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/20/2008 7:39:34 AM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Joe, I think Imenuff is spot on here. When people don't want to look at their own failings they will concentrate on someone else's in order to make themselves feel better.

We don't have to have interaction with people who make us feel bad or unhappy. It doesn't mean we've stopped caring about them, we just don't have to receive their negativity.

I'm a great believer in sending the light to people who give us a hard time and leaving it at that. Let the Universe do the rest. Anger only gives more power to their negative behaviour, and takes our power away.

Blessings, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way
Post #: 113
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/21/2008 10:14:49 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2357
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Joe, one hard lesson in life is that we can't change others. We can only change how we respond to them. If we allow them to upset us, make us feel guily and unhappy, we give away our power and give them control over us. You are wise in not blaming yourself or feeling obligated to try to change what is not in your control. Yes, it is sad, when people don't know how to receive or give unconditional love. Usually the reason is that they never experienced it early in life. They expect to be hurt and strike out before it happens. They can't give what they don't have!

Wishing you peace,
Edda

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Peace and joy!
Post #: 114
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/22/2008 4:56:51 PM   
joeharmony

 

Posts: 160
Joined: 11/21/2007
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Dear friends

Thank you for your responses.  Most of what you've said I had already understood, but it's good to hear it expressed by others.  I'm also aware that this issue has come to the surface strongly for me because of how much I've changed and grown in the last few months, and how much my life and awareness of the universe has changed as a consequence.

I had another example yesterday, with my sister clearly bad-mouthing me to my mother, and my mum believing what she was told.  I got angry  for a while, but then I got to being able to say "F*** the lot of them."  If they want to get off on negative stuff, and lose having contact with me, it's their problem.  I'm not going to take part in their stupid games any more.

It's just a bit sad that they're missing out on sharing the joy and beauty that is now the foundation and day-to-day reality of my life.  Still, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it take a bath.

With Love
Joe
Post #: 115
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/22/2008 6:28:45 PM   
buttington

 

Posts: 1672
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear Joe,
I understand your frustration. When we are happy, we want to share it with our nearest and dearest, and they don't always appreciate it.

But, as you say, you can't make them, and if that is where they are at............that is where they are at, and you can't do anything except bless them for the impoverished souls they are, and hope they get better soon. Then get on with enjoying your life.

All good wishes, Jude

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Love is the only way
Post #: 116
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/29/2008 11:11:53 PM   
artemis611

 

Posts: 387
Joined: 7/20/2007
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline 		At choir practice tonight, I learned that two of our choir members have been diagnosed with cancer this week.  For one, the prognosis is very good.  The other one was found to have metastatic cancer with a very large tumor in her brain.  I saw her only a week ago, and tonight she's home with hospice and unable to speak.  She's not expected to live long.  The choir called and sang our goodbyes to her tonight.  I don't feel "gratitude challenged" as much as I just feel very sad.  I would love it if people would light candles for both of my friends. 

Thanks.
Lori

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To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.
Post #: 117
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/29/2008 11:52:57 PM   
Hope coach

 

Posts: 394
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Lori
so sorry to hear about your friends what a beautiful gift of spirit to have the choir sing. I will gladly add them to prayer is there a special candle group I can light candles in? You actually are joined by a cousin of mine today who called to share her reliving loss of her mother as she attended the wake of a friends mother we shared how we experience the feelings of loss again at these times.....it is a hard time and it is when I feel challenged to keep my faith even stronger the more experiences I cannot explain the why the more I turn them over to Faith and God
warmly
Hope coach
Barbara   

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In the Spirit of Recovery
Post #: 118
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/29/2008 11:58:37 PM   
Hildegard

 

Posts: 2357
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Dear Lori, I am sorry to learn about the illness of your two friends. I'll keep them in my prayers and light a candle for them in the ALL group.

Much love,
Edda

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Peace and joy!
Post #: 119
RE: Today I Feel "Gratitude Challenged...." - 1/30/2008 12:16:24 PM   
Imenuff

 

Posts: 720
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Lori, Dear, the sadness you said you feel permeates your post. I am so sorry. It is always more difficult when it happens so suddenly. However, miracles do happen. Know that you and your friends will be held in prayer with candles lit for them and you.

Much love and prayers,

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff
Post #: 120
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