Chloe

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Chloe - 10/11/2007 1:45:21 PM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
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I would like to pray for my little Granddaughter who is nearly 10. She has, as you probably already know, had a rough start to her life and constantly amazes me with her resilience and cheerfulness, always singing and dancing and chattering.

Tonight after school she was watching TV when her dad came home early and, without warning, gave her only a few minutes to gather overnight things together. She did the best she could, but wasn't quick enough, and I was alerted by her anguished screams as her dad started the car and drove away. He did stop a few yards along the road, but my heart just bled for her. It seems some people just don't see the damage they are doing. He wouldn't willfully hurt her - he thinks the world of her, but understand her? No.

I just see her little frame running in the road with arms full of belongings, screaming at the top of her lungs. She can be a difficult child, but hasn't she suffered enough ??

Jude

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Love is the only way

Post #: 1

RE: Chloe - 10/11/2007 3:39:27 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2720
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: online

Oh, Jude! I am so sorry that your granddaughter has to experience such lack of sensitiviy from her father. She doesn't need any extra stress. Perhaps her father was thinking he was being funny or that he was trying to teach her a lesson, both unfortunate possibilities in this situation. I certainly will keep her in my prayers. I know how deeply hurt you feel by such incidents!

Much love, Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 2

RE: Chloe - 10/11/2007 5:59:10 PM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

Bless you Edda. At least I have had a peaceful evening

I think you are right on both counts, but he expects everyone to know his intention without him saying anything!!
I well remember an incident which I now laugh about, when I said to him that I wasn't a mind reader. He replied, "Well you should be." Nuf said.

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 3

RE: Chloe - 10/12/2007 8:47:49 AM

celtic star

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Praying for security and happiness always for little Chloe and increased sensitivity and thoughtfulness for her dad. Amen, take care x

Post #: 4

RE: Chloe - 10/12/2007 7:11:04 PM

artemis611

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From: Oklahoma
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Jude, I'm so sorry for Chloe's hurt and for your hurt. Thank God she has you! You're giving her a model for what love and sensitivity to others' feelings really looks like. I'm praying for you both and lighting a candle for your family.

Hugs,
Lori

_____________________________

To truly listen is to perfect one's own virtue.

Post #: 5

RE: Chloe - 10/13/2007 5:26:30 AM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Chloe constantly amazes me with her resilience, but I wonder what she is storing up for later in her life. Like a lot of children, she puts a lid on her hurt and presents a cheerful exterior.

Thanks again, hugs, Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 6

RE: Chloe - 10/13/2007 9:21:54 AM

angelmom

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Joined: 10/5/2007
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So sorry your granddaughter had to experience something like that, and i'm sure your doubly hurt too. I just pray this incident won't leave lasting scars to her. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Marilyn

Post #: 7

RE: Chloe - 10/13/2007 8:42:17 PM

Vicky

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Jude
Your Chloe is a lucky girl to have you. To love her unconditionally.

Shame on her father. No child should be treated like that.

Bless you, Jude. Keep Chloe safe.

_____________________________

With Hope each of us can have a life with Peace, Faith and Love.

Post #: 8

RE: Chloe - 10/14/2007 12:31:40 AM

garysgirl1010

Posts: 97
Joined: 8/22/2007
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Dear Sweet Jude,

It's so heartbreaking to "hear" your pain about your little Granddaughter. But like so many have said, I'm so grateful that she has you to give her the love and security all children deserve.

Prayers that your son will soon see what wonderful people he is "sandwiched" between and will learn to appreciate you both. Prayers for that precious little child. And prayers for our good friend Jude as she tries to juggle it all.

Love,
Lolly

Post #: 9

RE: Chloe - 10/14/2007 8:58:52 AM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
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Grateful thanks to you all. Yes, it is a struggle and a juggle

I'm not perfect either, but in Chloe's destress I saw my own....as we always do. As a pre-teen she is far from easy, but needs security more than anything. I guess I'm it!!!!!!!

Blessings to all.

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 10

RE: Chloe - 12/29/2007 12:34:36 PM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

I would like to ask you all please, to light a candle for Chloe and her Dad again. Under 3 C's
There has been a nasty row between them and some very unkind things were said.
I find it very difficult to stay out of it all, but know, if I interfere it will be worse for Chloe. She does bring a lot of her father's anger on herself, but her painful crying is hard for me to bear, and I'm at a loss to know how to help her. She is a very rebellious child and difficult to reach. It's almost as if she wills these troubled times on herself, as no matter how many times we warn her to behave and do as we ask, she still refuses, or does it half-heartedly. Frustrating!!

I know how hard it is for her Dad as I have to put up with her willfulness and rudeness too, but he does say some very hurtful things to her, which are not appropriate.

Her true nature has always been one of kindness and love, but with teen years approaching her turbulence is only going to get worse.

Today I stopped everything I was doing ( dishing up my lunch. I was unable to eat anyway) and lit a candle, asking angels to surround them both with protective light. Soon after that the shouting stopped.

Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 11

RE: Chloe - 12/29/2007 2:20:02 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2720
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From: Chicago
Status: online

Dear Jude, I am so sorry that there are such difficulties in the relationships between Chloe and her father and you and vice versa. This is a difficult age for young girls between childhood and teenage, acting like a child and wanting to be grown up. I remember not being the easiest to get along with at that time! I gladly will light a candle for her, her fathter and you.

Wishing you comfort and peace,
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 12

RE: Chloe - 12/29/2007 3:53:08 PM

Thankful one

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Jude,
I pray for you and Chloe and her father. I hope that a new level of understanding will take place in all their lives. I lit a candle for you and will certainly keep you in my prayers daily. I pray that you will be able to discern how you can be of help in this difficult situation.
Thankful one

Post #: 13

RE: Chloe - 12/29/2007 5:30:40 PM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

Thank you so much for your prayers and candles. Being able to offer up my troubles and worries here is such a blessing, knowing that you all care.

Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 14

RE: Chloe - 12/29/2007 10:49:59 PM

Thankful one

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Jude,
Our society already puts so much pressure on young girls with all the advertising and images of perfect bodies. It is hard to imagine anyone putting any more pressure on someone in this sensitive age group.

I have been praying to know how best to help her father learn to respect Chloe. I would let him know every time he does anything positive or respectful to Chloe. Try to maximize his respect that by telling him you appreciate that he did something that was kind, if you feel he will take that well. Other than that, I don't know that you can do that much except love him when you can.

As for Chloe, I am a huge big believer that telling young girls that you love them daily and that they are incredible individuals is absolutely as important as making sure they eat. I told my daughters every day that they were great at everything from putting the plates on the table right to letting them know that they had really gotten good at remembering to brush their teeth. I told them that they had a great sense of style and that they getting really good at learning to waiting until someone else had finished speaking to talk.

Basically everything they did I told them how smart they were. I frequently told them how proud of them I was at the cool people they were becoming. My advice is to tell Chloe you appreciate her. Write her little notes. Call her for no reason but to tell her you were thinking of her.

I don't think any of us can do that enough for young girls. It's just so important to build up their self confidence. It's the antidote for the negative effects of our cultural barrage of advertising.

Normally young girls will get a lot of their self confidence and their ability to relate to the outside world from their dad. If he cannot come up with that, that is the place I think you can step in without appearing to be interfering.

Just my two cents.
Thankful guy

Post #: 15

RE: Chloe - 12/30/2007 12:53:20 AM

Vicky

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I second the Thankful one (George). I could not have said it better myself.
God bless and protect Chloe! Shame on her father. Verbal abuse hurts much worse then people realize. Chloe and her father need to get counseling before he destroys the love they have. I will gladly light a candle for Chloe.
Jude, Chloe is blessed to have such a great grandma.

Post #: 16

RE: Chloe - 12/30/2007 7:59:42 AM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

Dear Thankful one,
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I do hope you will get the opportunity to carry on such lovely parenting.

You are absolutely right in what you say, and I don't do enough of it. When describing my own pain due to the words of my Son, to my acupuncturist, he said just what you have just said. To try to find things to praise him for, even in the midst of my own unhappiness. I know he's right, but it's so difficult to find anything when feeling pain and injustice. But the truth is, we are all still children inside, and he still needs to be appreciated for the things he does do right.

As for Chloe, I know I don't do enough positive stuff for her, or praise her enough, so, from today I will make an extra effort, because it isn't because I don't want to. I've trained myself to stay out of it all.

I must learn to say "no" to her less often, before, as you say, it's too late and she's gone off on her own pursuits, or run off to her mother, which would be disastrous for her.

How this poor child survives without seeing her mother I'll never know. She has developed coping strategies, but her heart must be breaking.

It's no wonder her behaviour is so difficult. Vicky, in my opinion she desperately needs counselling.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, Love and prayers, and the candles you so kindly lit.

Blessings to you all, Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 17

RE: Chloe - 12/30/2007 3:42:26 PM

sharon

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From: England
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Dear Jude
I do hope that Chloe and her dad can come to some understanding and build a lasting relationship as daughters need there dads. I've never had a great relationship with my dad and I wouldn't want that to be the case for Chloe I hope things can sort themselves out
love sharon

Post #: 18

RE: Chloe - 12/30/2007 8:16:36 PM

buttington

Posts: 2243
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: online

Dear Sharon,
Thank you for your much appreciated Love and good wishes.

Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 19

RE: Chloe - 12/31/2007 10:10:26 AM

celtic star

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Adding my prayers for peace and happiness in all things for Chloe, also praying for understanding, acceptance and love in your son's approach to his relationship with Chloe and with others. I pray for a blessed and joyous New Year for you too Jude. Look after yourself. Namste Glenys x

Post #: 20