RE: lost my mom

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RE: lost my mom - 11/5/2007 4:05:57 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2453
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Welcome to the forum, Martene! I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved mother. I think you have done beautiful things for her today and I am sure she knows! You are not alone in thinking that our parents are going to be always there. And in a way they are! Your mother watches over you and is close to you. Talk to her and listen in your heart to her!

Wishing you comfort and peace,
Much love,
Edda

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Peace and joy!

Post #: 21

RE: lost my mom - 11/5/2007 4:22:41 PM

buttington

Posts: 1821
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Hello Martine, you were born just two weeks before my Son!

I'm so sorry about your Mum. Yes indeed, she should still be here.

That is lovely what you did for her and I'm sure she is still looking after you.

Love Jude

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Love is the only way

Post #: 22

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 4:54:36 AM

teen

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Benfleet,essex.uk
Status: offline

Hi Edda,thankyou very much for your lovely reply,it was such a shock when i found out that morning 5th nov 06 that she did'nt have long,she was'nt ill for a long time.She thought things were'nt right back in the June that year and was diagnosed as having fibroids,my mum did'nt like to say the word "Cancer",no-one knew how bad it was ,i did'nt know it was Cancer until Oct,within a month she was gone!.Still cant believe it now,she was in a lot of pain towards the end,i'm glad in a way i did'nt get to see her in that state at the hospital that day,the'd given her a drug so she was out of if,at least i made it in time to say a final goodbye before she died,i'm sure she was aware we were all there.She never told anyone that the treatment she was having was gonna cure her,it would of given her 6 mths at most had it worked.As someone else said on this site that there mum was trying to protect them til the end,that's what she did.She was a strong woman,i dont think i'd be able to keep a secret like that.God bless you and thankyou again for your reply,Martine.x

Post #: 23

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 5:07:53 AM

teen

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Benfleet,essex.uk
Status: offline

Hi Jude,thankyou for your lovely reply.I'm sure my mum was with us all yesterday,like she is everyday.I just think of all the things that she'll miss,it must of been dreadful knowing that you was dying and nothing but a miracle could stop it,i just think of all the things that must of been going round in her head,she must of been devastated but she never showed that to anyone!.I wish i'd of known in a way,like i said before i was very naive!.Still you cant keep dwelling on the past,you have to live your life as best you can without that person around anymore,some days are harder than others,like special events.But i will carry her love in my heart and precious memories with me forever.Thankyou again,Martine.x

Post #: 24

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 8:32:27 AM

bebblady

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline

Dear Martine,
I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother at such a young age. What you did for her was beautiful and it is always enough. I will keep you in my heart prayers as I too mourn the passing of my mom.

Post #: 25

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 11:26:11 AM

Hope coach

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline

Approaching November 2nd, I was becoming more spirtually, emotionally conflicted...how to honor my Mom and her Transition day as we call the day she died and left us for the place we call heaven! I was ill, grieving and in withdrawal from not smoking, filled with doubt of God's plan for me and my personal and financial problems, no job yet despite trying so hard and applications everywhere....my Mom was my friend and spiritual mentor when life took these turns Mom guided me and all with her faith at times like these she would say'Stand on the rock" then I would say "Mom Im standingand sitting on the rock" then we would laugh at how we were worrying unneccessarily as God already had the plan.....I needed her now 1 year later and felt so alone and in doubt for a brief moment of my own spiritual belief that only a veil seperates our relatives in the spiritual place from us....however this is an easier belief to test when your Moms here.on earth with you...well I decided to use music as a means to spend the day in her memory as we listened to our own concerts every week with all our favorite CDS etc... I planned to stay in the thought of her...well my husband was home...and he began with needing this and that, then other interupptions began to defocus me I was irritated...at 5:00pm my daughters arrived and announced we are going to the Chinese restaraunt to
order all Nanas favorite foods she would want us to celebrate her being in heaven by eating and laughing so off I went for their sake...Saturday I got a call from a cousin who invited me to go to see Dan in Real Life (great movie see It) but called back later and said im going to church first and I went with her...the songs were hymns Mom sang all my life I was beginning to sense God and Mom had a plan for me... by Sunday I was attending the Mass at the Hines VA Hospital the place where my Mom and Dad met and married...as I shared how much I was struggling with my feelings the priest asked me to assist in giving communion as he handed me the chalice with the wine I heard my Moms voice say this is where you find me in the community of the church she was very active in the mass and reading and praying till the end...well as I arrived home my answering machine was going off it was a young lady who had worked at my Mom's nursing home her and Mom had become close as she heard me answer she said "Barb I had to call you I miss your Mom so much..with a tear in my eye and heart I confirmed I was missing her terrible. She then said "do not think Im crazy but I dreamt of your Mom Friday night and as we were talking she was looking at me in the dream she told me to call "Barbara and tell her, her mother said everything is going to be all right" "Whats going on with you?" I just smiled throug my tears and chills on my arm I said "so much is going on but its all right." The veil lifted a little to make me understand Mom is here with me just in a differant way....Well my plans to spend her transition day were influenced by her love for me leading me to supportive others , the church and the spiritual beliefs we shared for so long.. all the doubts I felt about my community work and organization lifted, I now replaced my trust in God and his paln for me....
We cannot predict or control when we lose those mothers we love and share life with however our relationships dont end they just begin in another transition.....Martina, bebblady leave your line of communication open your mom's will find the way to get their message to you...I think my Mom used a phone message because we spoke by phone every day at 9:00pm and also in the afternoon when I stopped working.....
God Bless you both
warmly
Hope coach
Barbara T.

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In the Spirit of Recovery

Post #: 26

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 1:51:13 PM

buttington

Posts: 1821
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Hello Barbara and Martine.
The quote which is going round in my head is "Nothing happens by chance"
Barbara, you had your day planned, but your
Mum knew what would be better for you, and so it was. That was a lovely story and confirms for me that Love really does go on, people we love are never far away, and we don't have to visit a medium to speak to them!!

I had a lovely experience on Thursday which demonstrates this very well. I belong to a very small Circle-dance group, (it wasn't always small, but has become a foursome now rather than a circle

) and during one dance I distinctly heard the voice, as clear as a bell, of one of our group who died 4 years ago. She was French and had battled with cancer for 20 odd years. Dominique was the lovliest, kindest, most spiritual person any of us had ever met. We adored her and were grief stricken when she died aged 50. I can still see her when she was well, dancing like a little spirit, so alive and happy in the dance.
Well, I greeted her in my mind and said (silently) that we hadn't had the pleasure of her company for a while, and she answered "I'm not going to leave you yet Judith." in her musical French accent. Everyone else now calls me Jude, but she knew me as Judith.
I thought I'd keep quiet about it and see if anyone else noticed her, as it had been so clear. When the dance finished, another dancer said "Whew! Dominique !! she was so clear and I could hear her talking."

Martine, your Mum is never far away from you. Talk to her.

Lots of Love and Hugs to you both. Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 27

RE: lost my mom - 11/6/2007 3:17:35 PM

Hope coach

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline

Hi Jude

I love your experience especially because of the dancing...
seriously thank you for reinforcing my experience...it is
so good to be able to share these spirituality experiences
with others open to them too....and who have a positive
understanding of them....and Im holding tight on to your quote
"Nothing happens by chance" I will repest this as a mantra every
time I get anxious about needing a job...warmly
Hope coach
Barbara T.

_____________________________

In the Spirit of Recovery

Post #: 28

RE: lost my mom - 11/8/2007 6:57:48 PM

Hope coach

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Joined: 9/20/2007
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Hi Martine and bebelady
How are you both doing today????? Someone told me missing my Mom would get easier and I hope it does however I just keep talking and experiencing her through memories of our talks etc and Im happy today to have these.....so connect with your happiest memories and relive your best times too and your mom's may stay close as well/
warmly
Hope coach
Barbara Titone

_____________________________

In the Spirit of Recovery

Post #: 29

RE: lost my mom - 11/10/2007 9:07:00 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/10/2007
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hiya bebblady, my mum passed 10 months ago, and like you i miss her so much.

But worse was to come , in August 23rd this year, my darling 19yr old grandson was killed in Afghanistan.

My whole life is in pieces, how can i get over this. It is coming up to the 1 year anniversary of mums death and we are going to her graveside for a little memorial service, just got back from aldershot following my grandson memorial.Life used to be so happy, now it just seems empty.much love to you , and RIP to your mum. xxx

Post #: 30

RE: lost my mom - 11/10/2007 9:20:28 AM

Hildegard

Posts: 2453
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Welcome to the forum, Violet! My heart goes out to you! Such losses in just one year! This is a very difficult time for you! You miss your loved ones, but, I believe, they are still very close to you!
I will light a candle for you in the ALL group and mark it 4VI .

Wishing you peace and comfort,
With much love,
Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 31

RE: lost my mom - 11/10/2007 10:36:06 AM

buttington

Posts: 1821
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Hello Violet. Such sadness, I'm so sorry. I agree with Edda, those we love are never far away, even after death. Love never dies.

Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 32

RE: lost my mom - 11/11/2007 11:40:20 AM

Hope coach

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Joined: 9/20/2007
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Hello Violet
so sorry about the loss of your grandson and mom sometimes the spiritual plan is not clear to us however of one thing I can share with you is that Edda and Jude are right the ones we love are not far and if we listen closely they will share with us through other experiences, a memory that arrives when we hear a song, a dream I know because my mom has been with me this whole year since she left...keep in touch with others who can support you and share your happy memories.
warmly
Hope coach
Barbara T.

_____________________________

In the Spirit of Recovery

Post #: 33

RE: lost my mom - 11/12/2007 12:03:43 AM

MotherTeresa

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

I am very sorry for your loss...Mother's are truly special. I lost my Mom/Best Friend on July 14th. 1992. It is hard, you will always hold her in your heart...You now have a "Beautiful Angel" to watch over you from Heaven.
Bless you...I will keep you in my prayers.

Post #: 34

RE: lost my mom - 11/17/2007 11:04:27 AM

Hope coach

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline

Hope all are well I know the approaching holidays are difficult I know Im going to share my happiest memories and celebrations with those she loved at the nursing home...I am grateful that I feel more spiritually connected to my mom these days through dreams and memories I feel that she is very close
to me...Mom made me promise over and ovver again I would keep living life and now I understand why she made me promise to keep joy, dancing and laughter she also made me promise to keep my work with families going. Im grateful i made the promise.
Warmly
Hope coach
Barbara T.

_____________________________

In the Spirit of Recovery

Post #: 35

RE: lost my mom - 11/17/2007 5:39:58 PM

buttington

Posts: 1821
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear Barbara,
It's lovely to read of the loving connection you still have with your mother.

Congratulations of your smoke-free days.
Love Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 36

RE: lost my mom - 11/17/2007 7:33:56 PM

LadyBear

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/17/2007
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I am sorry to hear of your loss and so I will be praying that the Lord above will be your guide and stength to get through the hoildays and I am praying that all will be well with you !!

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I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

Post #: 37

RE: lost my mom - 11/18/2007 4:16:56 PM

buttington

Posts: 1821
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

Dear all,
Please join me in prayer for Eillen Maria my once Mum-in-law who died this morning.

I haven't seen her for 10 years, since my ex-husband left, and the irony of it is that a friend offered to take me to see her and we were going on Wednesday.

By all accounts she would probably not have known me, but I wanted to see her before she died. It wasn't to be.

She was a good Catholic woman all her life and found comfort in going to church, so I can only imagine how hard it was for her when she became unable to get there.

Here is a lesson for us all......don't put things off. Jude

_____________________________

Love is the only way

Post #: 38

RE: lost my mom - 11/18/2007 4:46:08 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2453
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dear Jude, I'll be glad to join you in prayers for Eillen Maria. I am sorry that you did not get a chance to see her, but, I believe, she sees you and knows your good intentions.

Your point about not putting things off is well taken!

With every good wish,
Love, Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 39

RE: lost my mom - 11/19/2007 3:59:40 PM

loizhanne

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

Dear Teen,
What a lovely way to remember your mother! I am sure that she is touched by your thoughtfulness and the beautiful gifts that you had for her. I pray that you will be blessed with peace and joyful memories on her anniversary.
When we are young, we see our parents as we see trees, the sun, and all the other stable elements of our environment. They just simply are. It is only with age and sad experience that we come to understand that trees grow old and die, and that the sun does not always shine, and even the ground itself can move. That naivete that you mention is a very common feeling. It will pass, as you come to understand that in losing your mother's physical, familiar presence, you have gained her eternal spiritual presence. You have shown great courage in this first year, and I pray that you will continue to honor the mother that you loved so much by continuing to do so.

_____________________________

May you be blessed as you bless others,
Loizhanne

Post #: 40