lost my mom (Full Version)

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bebblady -> lost my mom (10/24/2007 8:59:58 AM)

I lost my mom on Sept.2nd of this year to a stroke. I'm having a hard time as she was not just my mother but my friend. I don't have much of a support group available to me. I need a place to share my grief and my memories. 



Hildegard -> RE: lost my mom (10/24/2007 10:56:21 AM)

Welcome! You have come to the right place! I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and friend. Reading through the threads in this forum and in the "Light a Candle Forum" you will meet many who are grieving someone beloved. Everyone here is glad to give support to each other.

Your are in my prayers,
Wishing you comfort and peace,
Love,  Edda



Marie M. -> RE: lost my mom (10/24/2007 11:13:51 AM)

Welcome to a very special place to be. My condolences of the the loss of your Mother. I will offer my prayers for your Mother and you and I will light a candle.
God Bless You.
Marie
Seneca's Mom



Marie M. -> RE: lost my mom (10/24/2007 11:21:53 AM)

I have lit a candle in the "all" section for your Mother. I was not sure if you would like to start a candle group for your Mother, as many of us here have a group started for our loved ones we can go to daily and keep the light burning in their memory.

May you find peace and comfort here.
Marie
Seneca's Mom



Imenuff -> RE: lost my mom (10/24/2007 1:29:02 PM)

Dear bebblady, Thank you for the email and your kind words. I hope you received my response. Please know that you are being held in prayer and that it is important to allow yourself to experience your grief. It is always so difficult when one so close to us is no longer physically present. I know your Mom is with you and will help you through this. In these days of such much abuse to children, what a gift it is to be able to say your mom was your friend. Please know that my prayers and love go with you. Feel free to email whenever you need to.

Much love and prayers,



Rosalie -> RE: lost my mom (10/24/2007 7:26:15 PM)

Dear Bebblady, my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear mother and friend. This is a sorrow that goes very deeply in our hearts. I lost my own mother when I was only 16 years old, I am 57 now. It was very very hard then and I still feel her loss today as I see my adult children and her great grandaughter, I wish she was here with me!  But I know in my heart without a doubt that my mother is with me, that she has been with me all my life. She has witness all my joys and my sorrows and I know that I have her blessings. Your dear mother is with you, she is watching over you and blessing you and she'll continue to do so all of your life. I'll pray for strenght and courage for you to go through this very painful time in your life. May God keep you in th epalm and His hand.

Rosie 



garysgirl1010 -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 1:45:11 AM)

Dear bebblady,

I'm so sorry for your loss of your Mother.  But what a wonderful person your Mother must have been to have been both Mother and Friend to her Daughter.  While it makes it doubly hard on you to have lost her, it makes the memories of her doubly sweet.

You DO have a support group available.  Right here!  We will be praying for you to be comforted and we look forward to hearing your memories.

With love,
Lolly



china34doll -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 8:21:48 AM)

dear bebblady;i'm so sorry to hear about your mom,it's sad to have to grieve a loved one so very close to you.I pay you heal and be safe.



bebblady -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 8:42:13 AM)

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. You brought healing tears to my eyes. I am grateful for the prayers and candles you have lit for my mother and myself. It's so refreshing to find a group of caring and compassionate people who, don't even know me ! I am gratful to you all.

Bebblady



bebblady -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 8:44:00 AM)

How do I start a candle group?



Hope coach -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 12:24:38 PM)

Dear Bebblady
 
Welcome! I can tell you these wonderful others on this gratefulness site have given support, encouragement and love ...all qualities I had in my relationship with my Mom. I lost her 1 year ago November 2nd...she used to tell everyone my daughter is my partner and we were....being Sicilian we lived in an extended family, she helped me raise my daughters when I was a single parent...story is too long for here but we went on a spiritual journey of a magnitude as she became ill  and spent years later in the nursing home she became a "Prayer Warrior" praying for all others and when she died people sent letters of all her prayers that manifested help or peace in their life....the other day my daughter looked at me and said Mom grandma wants you to take over for her with the praying...so I decided to honer her year in her spiritual transition by offering prayers for others beginning with Mothers who have passsed through the veil and us daughters who are finding our own voice....As my mom and I prepared for her transition before she died she said' When I put my finger up you will leave the room...the night she put her finger up in the hospital bed I begged her to let me stay...she tapped the center of my forehead and the center of my chest with her finger and whispered "That is where I will be" As I gave the eulogy at her mass I shared that with the church of her loved ones  and I can tell you she kept her word...I hear her in my head and I feel her in my heart.  And she helped me to find comfort through others such as the gratefulness site...So many people told me this year they have the same experience they feel her around them we just all accept her presence on the spiritual level..this helps us all! Keep in touch....Namaste
Warmly
Hope coach.



buttington -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 2:33:57 PM)

Dear Barbara,
What a wonderful and inspiring story! And what a very wise and extraordinary mother you had.
I do understand though, your wish to stay with her.
Love Jude



Hope coach -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 2:52:08 PM)

Hi Jude
Thank you Mom was wise for so many also she nursed 45 years so she knew how to prepare me...I still struggle with that moment I did the leaving as respect to her wishes she told me for a whole year before she needed to focus in that moment on going to God and me being there would distract her....what a character. The one comfort was when I got to the door of the room and I looked back at her she was sitting in the bed with her rosary in her hand and a light was all around her from her head down...I just knew it was her time...just left quietly grateful to witness the transition. I still hold her rosary she held as the hospital returned it to me that night....well finding this web site was a lifesaver as so much of how Mom and I shared our spirituality , talks  etc. I share with many of you....God provides....
warmly
Hope coach
Barbara T.



bebblady -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 5:14:06 PM)

Dear Hope Coach,

My mother held her rosary in her hand as long as she could after her stroke. When she was no longer able to hold it in her hand we pinned it to her gown. I had bought an angel statue that held a tealight in it's wings to put on her bedside table where she could see it. Being that it was in a hospital I put a battery operated tealight in the statue. I changed the tealight every two days. The day my mother died I had put a new tealight in. They are supposed to last 48 hours. When my mom took her last breath we (my father and I) were at her side, my father holding her hand. When I looked up at the angel after she was gone the light had gone out. I have that angel at home  with me now and it was by her casket at the funeral home. My mother prayed for all the family everyday. She had prayed daily for my daughter who is legally blind for 28 years.My daughter has this rosary now. I felt our memories of our mothers were similar and wanted to share this with you.  In Gratefulness, bebblady



buttington -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 8:29:40 PM)

Dear all,
What inspiring stories. My own Mother just wouldn't give in until we had all left her bedside. One of my Sisters stayed with her, but I know she would have been thinking that the rest of us were going to be very upset. Not that the remaining one wouldn't be, but Mum felt she would cope better than the rest of us.
So we all went off to my other Sister's caravan, parked nearby, and had a cup of tea. About 10 minutes later we all went quiet, and we instinctively knew she had gone.
A Mother to the last, trying to protect us !!  Jude



Hope coach -> RE: lost my mom (10/25/2007 9:28:02 PM)

Hello Jude
thank you for sharing your story about your Mom. Your absolutely right they all took care of our feelings and protected us as mothers til the end. I love that you and your family were having tea...my Mom and family told me story after story about how my grandmother Ann would address all types of issues with the family and her neighbors by serving or inviting them to tea. She had a special china that she brought from England with her. Can you imagine the china making it across the ocean to Chicago via a stop in New york and what it meant to her to hold and prepare tea with something from her home... Everyone knew and told how sad she was and how she really never adjusted to living here. So her daily tea was her respite and a connection to home for her. I was sorry I never knew her.
Namaste
Hope coach
Barbara T.



buttington -> RE: lost my mom (10/26/2007 3:20:50 PM)

Barbara, that's quite a sad story about your grandmother. I can imagine how things connected with home would have comforted her.
Tea, of course, is such an English thing and I know I would miss it if I couldn't drink it. The china attached to it has more or less disappeared now, and most tea is drunk from mugs. I'm sure, although a mug user myself too, that tea tastes better out of bone china cups. 'Afternoon tea' is probably only observed in places like hotels now.

Jude



ena -> RE: lost my mom (10/26/2007 7:49:49 PM)

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.  Although parents often maintain many roles in our lives, your double loss must be hard to bare.  I lost my father/my best friend when I was 9 yrs. old, and I still feel the void as his little girl.  It gets easier.I feel him with me, especially when my troubles multiply, these days and his presence helps alleviate my fears of being overwhelmed.  I am extremely grateful for his presence in my life and as I've aged, it has become much easier for me to tune into.  I am sure you will experience this with your mother since the love/faith in each other is endless.  The grief seemed endless to me, but it doesn't sting anymore.  Take courage! I know it's hard and you're in my thoughts.  Jayne



buttington -> RE: lost my mom (10/27/2007 7:50:41 AM)

Dear Jayne,
As we've been mainly talking about mothers it was nice to hear your story about your father. My Father didn't die when I was 9, but he left the family home at that time, and I never really got over it.
However, like you I feel him close to me now at difficult times. As I was very close to my Mother I would have expected it to be her who would make her presence known, but strangely it is my Father and Father-in-law.

Maybe it's because I am having problems with the men in my life (husband, son, lover) and they feel I need a bit of male support. Also I think my Father would have regrets about his life and how he treated us, so would want to make amends.

Whatever the reason, it's nice to know they are still trying to help us.
Love Jude



teen -> RE: lost my mom (11/5/2007 3:15:19 PM)

Hi to everyone,today is the first anniversary of my mum's passing,i've had a candle burning by her photo all day,i also bought some roses+a lovely angel ornament,i just feel sad that i dont have a grave to visit so i have to improvise!.I know she is always with me and i hope she'll like what i did for her today,although i hav'nt got a grave to visit,it gives me some comfort to know that she is still around,and watching over me.I miss her very much,i was so naive to think that my mum would'nt die,you dont think of things like that,well......i did'nt,she was only 56,she should still be here!!!!!!!.Anyway,hope to get a reply from someone,take care.xxx



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