RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (Full Version)

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Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 2:23:47 AM)

Joe thanks for the video. Poor thing must have bumped his head coming in the door. Maybe after finishing the bone he will feel better. LOL

Marie





Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 3:21:39 AM)

                          [image]http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x311/luvlifeintoc/Days%20tags/Saturday/smileyhappysat.gif[/image]

[image]http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii142/anna-akke/Dogs.gif[/image]
                                      
                                    HAVE A GOOD DAY EVERYONE
 
 
 
Marie
 
 



buttington -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 12:41:31 PM)

In a magazine:

"Gran-osaurus vexed
 
I took my granddaughter to see a dinosaur exhibition. She turned to me and said, "Were you around when dinosaurs were here?" I was 70 at the time."
 
*
 
Poles apart.
 
A friend and I are volunteers at a local National Trust property. On the May Day celebrations the local primary school children were dancing around the maypole. My friend told her granddaughter, who rushed into school and said to her teacher, "Granny has organized pole dancing for the bank holiday!"
 
 



bernie -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 1:00:14 PM)

laughter...giggling, chuckling, great gales of laughter, howling, squealing, shrieking, tittering, snickering, merriment, hilarity, mirth, glee, jollity. "A smile that burst."-Patricia Nelson. "A noisy smile."-Steven Goldberg. "A universal bond that draws all men closer."-Nathan Ausubel. "A tranquilizer with no side effects."-Arnold Glasow. "Highly therapeutic, like inner-jogging."-Bernie   



buttington -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 6:37:51 PM)

Another one!

"Food for thought:
 
I have a double chin, which I hate - my four-year-old grandson asked me if it was for storing my nuts in."



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/26/2008 11:39:08 PM)

                                      Real Estate Terms

Sophisticated City Living - Next to a noisy establishment.
Old World Charm - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.
Contemporary Feeling - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.
Close to Lakes - Impossible to park on streets from April to October.
Picturesque Setting - Abandoned cars and waist high weeds on adjoining lots.
Wide Open Floor Plan - Previous owner removed supporting walls.
Updated Kitchen - Sink no longer overflows.
Security System - Neighbor has a dog.
Needs TLC - Major structural damage.
Motivated Seller - Been on the market for 14 years.
Convenient - Next to freeway on ramp.
Mint Condition - Spilled mouthwash on the floor.
Neutral Decor - No murals on the walls.
Move In Condition - Front door missing.
Cozy - No room bigger than 9`X 6`.
Light, Open Spaces - Many holes in the walls.
Outstanding - Sticks out like a sore thumb.


Marie



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/28/2008 1:18:33 AM)

Cup Holder
 
 
Caller: "Hello is this Tech Support?"
 
Tech Rep: "Yes it is how may I help you?"
 
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about 
getting that fixed?"
 
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry but did you say a cup holder?"
 
Caller: Yes, it is attached to the front of my computer."
 
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part 
of a promotional, at a Trade Show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any Trademark on it?"
 
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X on it."
 
         
At this point the Tech Rep. had to mute the caller, because he could not stand it.
The Caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and it snapped off of the drive. 
 
 
 
Marie
 
 
 
 
 



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/28/2008 11:25:23 PM)

[image]http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h57/Big_Lumpy_Tool/funny_pictures_102.gif[/image]





Marie



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/28/2008 11:27:08 PM)

[image]http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x80/slowjoe1234/thBugFound2.png[/image]




Marie



Thankful one -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/29/2008 12:11:58 AM)

Marie,
Thanks for the laugh I got from your last posts. I appreciate you sharing this. The comments below are from our Church bulletin.

How can you get four suits for a dollar?
 
Buy a deck of cards.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.

What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

What kind of eggs doers a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/29/2008 10:52:40 AM)

Jude, Bernie and Thankful one, thank you all for adding to a piece of laughter. May we all have at least one a day, maybe more if we can.


Marie




buttington -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/29/2008 3:01:41 PM)

Marie, I laughed a lot at 'Real Estate terms' and 'Cup Holder'

Thank you, Jude



ananda -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/29/2008 11:50:03 PM)

Seniors Road Trip


While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.  
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.  
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around -- in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.  
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic  grouchy old man.  
He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her -- the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.  
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her ..  

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."  





Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 12:04:46 AM)

Jessica your joke made me laugh, not only because of the content but sometimes because of my daily ritual of looking for my glasses frantically, only to find they are on the top of my head. UGH LOL.

Thanks
Marie 



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 1:37:20 AM)

IT CAN BE TOUGH TO BE
THE SMALL FISH IN THE SEA !
 
                   [image]http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff3/ecstasyseduction/Icons/Other%20Graphics/sunshine.gif[/image]
 
 
[image]http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b128/kimasabe/ARTWORK%20Graphics%20animations/smileywaterskiing-tyTerri-NC28.gif[/image]        [image]http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q242/ovenmittens/fish.gif[/image]
 
           [image]http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z242/timawang_uod/fish.gif[/image]
[image]http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd100/ompeacepeace/fish.gif[/image]
           
 
 
Marie
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                 
 



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 2:31:47 AM)

[image]http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj71/alex_bobo/fish.jpg[/image]

But no matter how small a fish may be in the sea,
we have the "gift" to do great things.
 
 
 
Marie
 



joeharmony -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 7:12:38 AM)

Shit Happens according to various religions and spiritual philosophiesTAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

AZTEC: Cut out this shit!

QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM: No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM: Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.

EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.


With Love
Joe



Thankful one -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 7:38:06 PM)

Joe,
I thoroughly enjoyed your last post. I got a good laugh that I certainly needed.

Let me add a few sort-of belief systems.

Gratefulness: Today I am grateful for this shit!

Positive thinkers: Wow! The shit is really happening!

Negative manifesters: The shit always, always happens to me.



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 8:59:33 PM)

[image]http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj192/tektronix_2008/cats.jpg[/image]

 Whatever It Is I Did Not Do It.
 
 
Marie



Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (1/30/2008 11:00:55 PM)

Knock Knock
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Minnie.
Minnie Who?
Minnie people out here freezing cold.
Please open the door!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Tobe.
Tobe Who?
Tobe...or not to be!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
StopWatch.
Stopwatch Who?
StopWatch yer doin and open this door now!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Ears.
Ears Who?
Ears looking at you big kid!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Abbe.
Abbe Who?
Abbe Birthday to you!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Monrow.
Monrow Who?
Monrow, row your boat,
gently down the stream.
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Super.
Super Who?
Super Kaly Fragile Istic XP ala Docious.
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Pete.
Pete Who?
Pete-zaa delivery here.
 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Otto.
Otto Who?
Otto remember now but I can't!
 
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Butcher.
Butcher Who?
Butcher little arms around me, my honey! 
 
 
[image]http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z120/emjaym_photos/animated%20gifs/Gorillaknockknockjoke.gif[/image]
 
 
 
Marie



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