RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects

All Forums - Search - Register - Member List - Calendars - FAQ - Gratefulness.org

Login - My Profile - Inbox - Address Book - My Subscription - My Forums - Logout

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

Users viewing this topic: none

Printable Version

All Forums >> [Forums] >> Grief and Gratefulness >> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects

Page: << < prev 40 41 [42] 43 44 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/7/2008 10:10:28 PM

ananda

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Vancouver, B.C. Canada
Status: offline

Found this in my archives and thought it was worth posting here!

Jessica

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

_____________________________

May you be blessed!

Post #: 821

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/7/2008 10:47:18 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Hello Jessica, I like this, WHO DOES WHAT. That has been a struggle with who should get the coffee going in the morning. Now I know who should have. LOL. Thank you.

God Bless
Marie

Post #: 822

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/7/2008 11:27:43 PM

Hildegard

Posts: 2844
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Jessica,

How lucky I am or was! Leon always got the coffee started while he was still able-bodied but I don't think he had read it in the bible! Now I do it gladly for both of us! And he may be able to do it again!

Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 823

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 12:56:36 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Song Tapper, use your keyboard to type in a song and play it back to hear what you typed and the name of songs that are similar to what you typed will come up.

http://www.bored.com/songtapper/

Post #: 824

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 1:34:00 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Pick up your ears and listen carefully

Post #: 825

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 1:56:39 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Post #: 826

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 2:09:06 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

The Cloud Unknowing

The Cloud of Unknowing probably written by a monk from a monastery in the East Midlands of England in the mid 14th Century.

God himself can no man think. He may well be loved, but never thought.

The two essential virtues are meekness and charity. He who might get these needeth no more for he hath all. Meekness is a true knowledge of ourselves as we are. He who knows himself truly knows God as far as that is possible in this life.

For if God is your love and your intent, the choice and the ground of your heart, this is enough for you in this life; even though you never see more of him with the eye of reason all your life long. Such a blind shot with the sharp arrow of a love that longs can never miss the bull’s-eye, which is God...

Whenever reason falls short, then it is love’s pleasure to look alive and to learn to occupy itself. For by love we can find him, experience him, and reach him as he is in himself.

Not what you are, nor what you have been, does God look upon with his merciful eyes, but what you would be.

Post #: 827

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 10:19:25 AM

Imenuff

Posts: 873
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

Jessica, Thank you for posting this again and for the smile it brought. Just shows that if we try hard enough, we can prove almost anything we want, good or bad, by using the Bible.

Marie, the "peas" is a good play on words and the "listening ears" is always a good reminder. Thank you.

_____________________________

Shalom(May you be at peace in Body, Mind,& Spirit)

I'menuff

Post #: 828

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/8/2008 11:23:10 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

This New Day....

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities,
no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can,

tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your
old nonsense.

This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays."

Ralph Waldo Emerson
May 25, 1803 - April 27, 1882
American essayist, philosopher and poet.

Post #: 829

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 12:48:29 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Dear Dog and/or Cat,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door..... Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:

1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.

Post #: 830

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 12:57:21 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

Post #: 831

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 1:13:09 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

A Fitting Purchase

A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry and was not happy about the slowness of the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"

"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time.

Post #: 832

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 1:16:34 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Why do you do this to me?

Post #: 833

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 1:22:59 AM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.

He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

Author Unknown

Post #: 834

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 8:30:26 AM

Hildegard

Posts: 2844
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline

Dear Marie, your "letter" to the dog/and/or cat really made me smile. It catches some of the things our cat used to do. We had to get a queen-sized bed to accomodate our cat!
Thank you,
Love, Edda

_____________________________

Peace and joy!

Post #: 835

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 4:31:06 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

We can make someone smile by the little things we do for one another!

Post #: 836

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 4:37:57 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Frogs Have It Easy, They Can Eat What Bugs Them!

Post #: 837

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 5:07:00 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Hold On

Hold On Tightly to What Is Truly Important in Life

Hold on to faith; it is the source of believing that all things are possible.

It is the fiber and strength of a confident soul.

Hold on to hope; it banishes doubt and enables attitudes to be positive
and cheerful.

Hold on to trust; it is at the core of fruitful relationships that are secure and content.

Hold on to love; it is life's greatest gift of all, for it shares, cares, and gives meaning to life.

Hold on to family and friends; they are the most important people in your life, and they make the world a better place.

They are your roots and the beginnings that you grew from; they are the
vine that has grown through time to nourish you, help you on your way,
and always remain close by.

Hold on to all that you are and all that you have learned, for these things are what make you unique.

Don't ignore what you feel and what you believe is right and important;
your heart has a way of speaking louder than your mind.

Hold on to your dreams; achieve them diligently and honestly.

Never take the easy way or surrender to deceit.

Remember others on your way, and take time to care for their needs.

Enjoy the beauty around you.

Have the courage to see things differently and clearly.

Make the world a better place one day at a time, and don't let go of the important things that give meaning to your life.

Post #: 838

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 5:38:26 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Sun Bathing

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over herself.

“Excuse me, miss,” said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

“The Hotel doesn’t mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.”

“What difference does it make?” Joan asked rather calmly.

“No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel.”

“Not exactly,” said the embarrassed man.

“You’re lying on the dining room skylight.”

Post #: 839

RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects - 4/9/2008 6:02:59 PM

Marie M.

Posts: 1126
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

My Different Jobs

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a Chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.

Next was a job in ashoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Post #: 840