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Marie M. -> RE: Laughter and the Positive Effects (2/5/2008 2:22:52 AM)
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A Dog's Diary
5:30 a.m. Started a day as hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway roused me from my deep slumber - the impact indicating the paper was much heavier than normal - I realized that no one in the house was yet awake! I roused my master by licking him in the face. He appeared very angry with himself for having overslept, shouting and waving his arms. His ill temper even seemed directed at me a bit, which is silly since it is I who saved him from being fired. Funny thing though; he didn't go into work, but spent the morning leafing through the large newspaper and drinking coffee. He seems to do this once a week, and I don't know why.
7:30 a.m. Invaders! The people who live next door came out into their yard, obviously getting ready to lay siege to our house. Snarling and barking, I let them know in no uncertain terms that I was prepared to go in full force, if they came any closer, and I was able to repel the invasion. This is an almost everyday occurrence; you'd think they would learn. My master added his voice to the fray as well, yelling angrily. I am sure the people couldn't hear him, but it was nice of him to lend his support.
10:00 a.m. I was forced to move, as the patch of sun in which I was lying in had, for some reason, slid over a few feet. It's not easy being a dog.
1:00 p.m. I have the most thoughtful master in the world! While it is true he left me alone in the house for several hours, he did set out a treat for me on the kitchen counter. It was even gift-wrapped, as a courtesy I wish he'd skipped, since it led to me having a lot of plastic in my teeth. The roast was delicious, though frozen in the center. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but crunching through two inches of rock-hard beef is hardly my idea of a delicacy.
2:00 p.m. Most unpleasant experience when my master returned home and was furious that I had not eaten the plastic wrap which had been covering my present. He kept pointing at the small pieces of styrofoam and other debris and raving in a most irrational fashion. I'm sorry, but he should know that I can't eat that stuff, it makes my stomach upset. When he began rolling up a newspaper I realized he'd lost all reason and bolted for the front door, which was fortunately open just a crack.
4:00 p.m. Spent time with friends. We had a small snack at an outdoor cafe we like, with meat scraps and bread served out of circular containers with easily displaced lids. Ran into that tyrant Sebastian, who wanted to join us with his irritating nonchalance disposition. Does he think I don't know about his obcession with Muffy that Schnauzer from down the road? Last month there was no time for anyone else to take a walk with her, Sebastian kept her away, with many long walks they had together. I let him know I wanted nothing more to do with him and this situation.
5:00 p.m. What a treat! On the way homes a flock of ravens drew my attention to a skunk that was nearby. I chased him for blocks and then he ran up into a tree. He came halfway down and I thought I had him. I don't remember them smelling quite like this before, but back up the tree he went. Let Sebastian drool over Muffy, he doesn't know the fun he is missing. The skunk appears to have taken a nap, or he's trying to trick me into believing he is. I have to be heading home it is getting late.
6:00 p.m. Of all the times to get a bath! My master, still in a rotten mood, made me stand outside in the chilling air while he shampooed and rinsed me several times. Every time I shook the water from my fur he, he too, became drenched, and in the end was shivering. Why in the world does he do things like this?
9:00 p.m. Time to sleep, though for some reason I am only allowed on the bed when no one is home. Ah, the life of a dog.
Marie
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