My Son

Re:My Son (Star5776)

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:42:40 GMT

Hi Jude,

Your message the other day reminded me I needed to get back in touch! Finally had a weekend where I wasn't busy!! I'm going to make a positive effort to check in more often.......just looked and its been well over a year! Yikes!!

Sending you love xx

Re:My Son (buttington)

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:39:32 GMT

Hello Tara,
Nice to see you on the Forum. I hope you are having a good weekend.

Hope to see you here again,

Love,
Jude

Re:My Son (Star5776)

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:30:55 GMT

Always keeping you both in my prayers. Sending love.

X Tara

Re:My Son (celtic star)

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:53:35 GMT

Jude, prayers and healing thoughts to you and your family. My heart goes out to you. I pray for a loving and peaceful resolution for you and that your son realises the effect he is having on you, Choe and others.
Love and hugs
Namaste
Glenys x

Re:My Son (lilsparrow)

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:00:20 GMT

I am sorry to hear,
dear Jude,
that this behavior has continued . . .
usually it rather happens in short bursts?
I hope the circle dancing and acupuncture help you,
and I will light a candle for your son
with love . . .
sparrow

Re:My Son (buttington)

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:48:01 GMT

As the madness continues, I'm asking if you would kindly light candles specifically for my Son.

For what ever reason his behaviour is bizarre!

I am not engaging in it with him as I know he is doing things to get a reaction from me, and so far I haven't reacted.
Friends and family are helping me by making me laugh at the rediculousness of it....there is no understanding it.

I have circle dancing and acupuncture today, which will help me some more.

Blessings to all,
Wuth Love,
Jude

Re:My Son (buttington)

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 07:10:36 GMT

Dear Juliana,
I like your interpretaion of the little people much better. Of course they aren't Martians!

Thank you for your kind words. I am going to do a cleansing ceremony of the house today, with candles and prayers.

I do see this as a learning experience for me

With Love and Blessings,
Jude

Re:My Son (J1937)

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:41:38 GMT

Dear Jude,

Yes, I trust the power of prayer in whatever form, too - and candle lighting is a form practiced very much in Austria, one that is permanent with me.

It took me a long time to decide on a picture, as I didn´t really like any of the ones offered. The one I chose is titled "friends", and therefore the only one that appealed to me. I didn´t see them as Martians - just as PEOPLE, wherever they may be from! . (Marvin may actually be among them ;-) !) Relationships of all kinds are most important to me, whether with "cyber" or "earth" friends... You are certainly one of my "oldest" and best here ;)]!

Love,
Juliana

Re:My Son (buttington)

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:15:48 GMT

Thank you dear Juliana. Believe me, they are helping.

I've just spotted your picture! Are they little Martians?
(not related to Marvin I hope )

With much Love,
Jude

Re:My Son (J1937)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:56:31 GMT

Dear Jude,

I am going to light a candle right now, keeping you in my prayer.

Much Love,
Juliana

Re:My Son (buttington)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:12:18 GMT

Thank you dear Edda for your love and care.

With Love and Blessings,
Jude

Re:My Son (Hildegard)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:59:48 GMT

Dear Jude,

I just found your message now! You have already received a lot of wise words. So I will simply tell you that you are in my thoughts and in my heart.

I will light a candle in your group,

Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Re:My Son (buttington)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 12:31:42 GMT

Thank you my dear Buba. All the Love and candles coming my way are sure to help.

With Love,
Jude

Re:My Son (bm)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:47:36 GMT

Dear Jude,
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I have light a candle in your group ,
and I hope you don't mind if I put
a link here:
gemrk

~with love and regards~
Buba,Goran's mom

Re:My Son (buttington)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:04:00 GMT

It is part of our life's work to become whole.

Dearest Sparrow, you never "go on a bit"

Thank you so much for every word.

Thank you for the prayers which I shall take to heart.

with Love and Blessings,
Jude

Re:My Son (lilsparrow)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:47:49 GMT

How can this be??? How long before he learns?

I don't think you expected an answer,
dear Jude . . .
'It is what it is',
(an expression I hate,
but is often so very true
and to the point)
and your son may never change
unless something happens to rattle him to the core.
I fear for your peace of mind
and for Chloe . . .

I hope that today
finds your ship in calmer waters.
It is almost impossible to deal with someone
who is out of control and unreasonable
and you have done well to stay out of the fray
until clearer heads prevail,
but it seems that you have no leverage or control . . .
that there are no consequences for your son.
Oh, don't get me wrong~
there are consequences,
but he does not see them.
That doesn't mean
that they are not there.
The consequences are emotional alienation
from both his daughter
and from you . . .
rifts in relationships
are hard to heal if
all concerned are not engaged in the process.
You must have to take on responsiblity
for your own healing,
and to a certain extent
for Chloe's . . .
you can be a role model for Chloe
and a source of unconditional love
that she does not seem to get
from her father.
I believe that a big part of our problems
of feeling unlovable,
and undeserving,
and 'less than' as adults
stem from lack of unconditional love.
Not all of us get it from our family or love relationships,
so we must get them from the universe . . .
from God,
from our Higher Power,
from our Source,
from Grace.
Dear Jude,
I feel I have gone on a bit,
but what I am trying to say I think,
is that you can find calm water
within yourself.
It is part of our life's work
to become whole.
There is nothing you can do to change your son.
Short of moving out,
you can only change you.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I wish that I could give you a real hug just now,

but I can't,

so please know that I hold you in my heart.

I know it is painful,

and I know that you feel helpless . . .

I hate that feeling myself.

I light a candle for you

with love

and hope that its little flame

might at least let you know

that you are not alone, dear Jude,

not alone at all,

but surrounded and held up by something greater than all of this . . .

sparrow

Re:My Son (buttington)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:34:09 GMT

Thank you dear Sandra. I agree. I won't be walked over though. All of you have given me strength to not let that happen.
I spoke to his dad about it this morning, who can't understand him either.

Blessings,
Jude

Re:My Son (sandra67)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:10:17 GMT

Dear Jude please don't think I am harsh by saying this, it's
because I care for 'your happiness' and well being.
Your son so often threatens you with 'selling the house'.

I really feel that your own sanity and peace of mind is
worth far more than bricks and mortar.

How can this be??? How long before he learns?

It has been well over two years since you started this thread
and it looks like he will never learn,but maybe you can.

Do any of you have any advice for me?

Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?.
Jude I once walked your path but with a baby inside
of me.I sold my own home and it broke my heart in two
but I did it for my own sanity ..

Jude your life is precious and it's a life that needs love
and care and your son is sadly not giving you either but
you can Jude ,you can.Life is far too short as we know,
so why let anyone walk all over you..

Take good care Jude and know I say this because I
care for your happiness within.
Sandra xx

Re:My Son (buttington)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:14:08 GMT

Candles would be very much appreciated,

Love,
Jude

Re:My Son (buttington)

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 13:00:54 GMT

Please would you light a candle for our household, especially my son as I truly despair of him ever seeing into his own heart and the pain he causes, both to himself and everyone around him.

This morning I was laughing at his over-reacting. Now I feel embarrassed and mortified.

Workmen have been here all day replacing a very old central heating boiler, as part of a scheme to save energy and bills for people on state benefits, of which I am one.
He has just got home from holiday and has literally cursed and shouted at the poor unsuspecting men because he didn't know they were coming today and he couldn't get in the drive! Then he started on me because I hadn't told him it was happening today. As he was on holiday I didn't bother him and thought it wasn't a matter of life or death as he knew it would happen sometime. These things have to be done when workmen are free. One would expect him to be grateful he hasn't got to pay out a couple of thousand pounds for a new boiler, but there we are........
Lastly, Chloe shut the keys in the living room in her panic to get it locked (she isn't supposed to be in her own living room!!) and both she and I got more shouting. I refused to partake in an argument until he had calmed down.
I got the usual "We are selling the house." threat, and what has been a perfectly peaceful day is now in tatters.

How can this be??? How long before he learns?

Despite apologising to the workmen I still feel shaken and shamed by his behaviour.

I have lit a candle in the All group by mistake, but will start the Gemrk group again.

Love to all and thanks in advance
Jude