THE WILL-TO-GOOD

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (bernie)

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:04:39 GMT

"The fundamental contribution of existential therapy is its understanding of man as being... The distinctive character of existential analysis is, thus, that it is concerned with ontology, the science of being, and with Dasein, the existence of this particular being sitting opposite the psychotherapist.

'We can understand another human being only as we see what he is moving toward, what he is becoming; and we can know ourselves only as we 'project our potentia in action.' The significant tense for human beings is thus the future - that is to say, the critical question is what am I pointing toward, becoming, what I will be in the immediate future.

'.... the quintessence of divinity is the power to be... 'I shall be what I shall be.' This bears out our statement above that being is in the future tense and inseparable from becoming; God is creative potentia, the essence of the power to become."

("To Be and Not To Be: Contributions of Existential Psychotherapy," Rollo May)

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (Hildegard)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:37:48 GMT

Dearest Isabella,

I agree with what has already been said. You are NOT a bad person because you wish that those who have done wrong should not live as if nothing had happened. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened, excusing it or acting as if it didn't really happen. Those who have done wrong should have to suffer the consequences of their actions. Forgiveness does not mean that justice should not be done. Forgiveness means not to be any longer under the control of the wrong-doer.

You are a good and loving mother who did the best she could under the circumstances. Those who did not walk in your shoes have no right to judge or question you. You want and always have wanted the best for your children, which means you have the WILL-TO-GOOD!

Wishing you comfort and deep peace,
With much love and many hugs,
Edda

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (Isabella Bernardo)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:45:04 GMT

thank you
@all.

with hugs
is.

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (buttington)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:26:56 GMT

Dearest Isabella,

I also agree with everything Sandra has said. As parents we can never get it right all the time. You don't need to beat yourself up about what happened because you did the best you could, and that is all any of us can do.

Sylvia doesn't blame you or think badly of you, so neither should you think badly of yourself. What other people think and say says more about themselves than it says about you. They don't know.

Many, many Hugs sent your way. I pray that the light will find its way into your heart and the warmth of our Hugs will comfort you.
Jude ♥

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (sandra67)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:34:33 GMT

Dear Isabella

that I shouldn´t ask like this

If we don't ask 'these questions' they will in the end destroy the life we have.You are always so gentle Isabella and a very special person that is worthy of gentle words and huge (((((((((♥))))))))))))))))))))

they maybe cyber hugs but I firmly believe they are 'special' just like you are.So ask away even if my replies sometimes don't make sense

Like Bernie said you do have 'The Will-to-Good 'always...

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (bm)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:30:35 GMT

Dearest Isabella ,
I agree with all Sandra have said.

~you are in my thoughts and prayers~
Buba,Goran's mom

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (Isabella Bernardo)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:20:17 GMT

thank you Sandra for your so gentle words.
Sometimes I think, that I shouldn´t ask like this, because it could seem, I just want gentle words, that´s not s o.
But as you say, I have these questions, and I am many times angry about myself, don´t can stop..

thank you,
hugs,
is.

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (sandra67)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:11:42 GMT

Dearest Isabella,

No one can watch their children around the clock no one.You 'trusted' this is what we all did/do.People will always 'ask questions' and it must be heartbreaking to hear those questions , but it does not change that you are a Good Mother and the best Mother in the world as far as your children are concerned.

Isabella I can only say it how I feel..

Are people bad, if they cannot forgive?

No they are not they are called 'human' .What you and your family are suffering must be so hard to cope with let alone to 'forgive'.I guess we must try somehow to learn to 'except' that we can't forgive and 'move on' otherwise it does 'eat away' at us (although it's far easier said than done).

I want really to be as good, as an averaged person can be, but I am a bad one too, because I don´t want, that these people can live as they would have done nothing bad.

You are good,kind &gentle Isabella and I firmly believe one day 'these people' will indeed be countable for their actions we all will be . I know that I often think of this and pray for forgiveness for myself.

I am not sure anyone believes in God 100% so your not alone in this thought.Even Mother Teresa had her doubts.

Please know Isabella that you are 'good' you really are.

Re:THE WILL-TO-GOOD (Isabella Bernardo)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:36:03 GMT

Yes Bernie, but noone is free of other feelings, even no one!
And it is hard to have a "good will to good love" if someone killed your daughter or did other abuses. All good will has boundaries. Are people bad, if they cannot forgive?
I ask this question many times, because I cannot accept acts which are the reason my daughter didn´t want to live, and I cannot accept that my other daughter lives her whole life with her abuse, and I cannot accept that I get all sick thoughts of other people they ask: "Where was their MOTHER!" And I cannot accept, that I slept in the badest moments of my daughter, in the meanwhile she died. Because I had to be near in her badest moments and I wasn´t. And its not the question if I slept because it wa late and it´s not the qauestion, that I´ve been in my company to work or that I was out to shop for my families food or I was at the doctor, ... whatever I did - people ask: Where was the Mother....
And I know, they have right, because I wasn´t near with by kids in that moments and sorry, so it is hard to agree really, that we shall do ever good - I try to do, but I can´t with this people, they have done all this bad things. And that´s why it is so hard to believe in God. On one side, we want to make everythig right, and we trash around to cause everything, and on the other side, we don´t get not the price for it, no, in the opposite, we will get always one at our head.

I want really to be as good, as an averaged person can be, but I am a bad one too, because I don´t want, that these people can live as they would have done nothing bad.

I envy you, because you always found really good words and really t h e ideas and impulsto show us, how we can turn on to find better ways, and on the one side, it is so so clear, on the other, I fail, because my heart never can forgive - however I wished some times I could.

is.

THE WILL-TO-GOOD (bernie)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:46:08 GMT

The Will-to-Good

"As a new identification takes place, now between the personal self and the spiritual self, there can develop in man an inflow and fusion of the higher spiritual energies - the energy of Love and the energy of Will. Thus, eventually there is produced a "loving will," a will which is strong, wise and good.

'How is the will-to-good awakened? - By a constantly growing capacity to identify with a larger purpose. This becomes possible, however, only when the focus of one's life is in the mental nature, when the head and the heart is becoming active. The will-to-good requires, obviously, some knowledge of the nature of the 'good.' It involves planned activity and a definite goal to be achieved It requires the ability to think in terms of the whole, and an appreciation of the next step which humanity must take, based on intuitive perception, implemented by love and expressed intelligently ('The Will and the Good' –[Further development of this subject can be found in Dr. Assagioli's book: The Will - Its Stages and Training])."