First I want to thank all of you that lite a candle in her group(Fluff) for the last 3 months. It's with a deep heavy heart that I'm sorry to say my beloved little lady lost her battle for life on June 22nd at 4:10 am. As some of you know she had a problem with her heart and then in March developed this liver condition. I took her to a specialist( waiting for an appointment for 2 weeks) and he did an ultrasound and I asked him point blank if she had cancer, and he told me no. I asked what he thought it could be and he said fatty liver tissue or imflamtion( which is hepatitas I later learned). He wanted to do a biopsy, which required her to be put under, and I knew she couldn't survive that. What gets me is I later learned while he was doing the ultrasound he could of done a needle biopsy, but calls me the next day with the blood test results and says If I want a definite diganosis I need to do this. I went back to her doctor with the joy of her not having cancer, and together we worked on it as fatty liver tissue with jaundice. I force feed her A/D with baby food and she would vomit and I finally got that under control, to the point she didn't need any pepcid or regalan. She gained back some weight and I really thought she was going to pull through. I gave her denosyl and fish oil and milk thistle, but she still refused to eat on her own. Her blood work always came back with high ALT and AST and billirubin counts, but I didn't give up my hope and faith she would get better. I took her Friday June 19th to her doctor and she felt her liver and she worried she had a mast, since it felt enlarged( but she said the ultrasound said she had a large liver) and said it may be inflamation and we did blood work again. Saturday I got them back and her billirubin was 16.5- way off the boards.It was then I knew in my heart she wasn't going to make it. I couldn't face the idea of bringing her in to put her to sleep. I know some of you may think that is cruel, but I didn't want the finally memory of that for her or me. I cried every time I had to feed her that day. I tried to make it good for her by telling her it was a souffle and it has vitamins and minerals and all the good things to make her tummy better- I couldn't say it was full of medicines. Sunday night when I went to feed her she gave more of a fuss then normal and then got very nervous and started to wease. I couldn't even hear her heart with a stetecope, so I gave her some more atentol and lasix and sat with her for an hour and calmed her down. She seemed fine after and drank her water on her own. We went to bed around 11PM and she still seemed fine. Later in the morning about 3 AM I heard her making this loud noise breathing and I got up(I didn't sleep just lay there watching her and tv)her back legs were dragging( meaning it was her heart).I knew it was near the end(I had prayed to God to please not have me make this hard decision that I couldn't do, to put her asleep)I brought her to my mothers room and brought her brother( my Siberian husky Midnite-Shadow) into to see her. I told him she was going to go to heaven now to be with my mother. He went outside the room and stood near the gate and cried- he loved her so much. For about a week he would take his food from his dish and carry each kibble one by one to the gate and then push it towards her as to say you don't like yours you can have mine. He gave up after doing this for a week. I think in his heart he knew too. She laid there and her breathing got shallow and I told her how much I loved her and told her again about heaven and how ma was going to be with her and take care of her again. I told her she could let go now, she didn't have to fight anymore. At 4:10 AM her fight ended and my heartache started again. Nobody knows how it feels to be all alone in the world, no family or friends, just my fur babies, and now I'm down to one. When he goes I can go home too and be happy again. I won't live without him and I won't start over. My life was to care for my family and then go home too, and I'm resolved to it and wait for that day. I took her to the vet for her final arrangements( she's to be creamted and her ashes returned) and I asked her if she thought she had cancer and she said yes. I told her why did the specialist give me false hope, and she had no answer. All she said was my Fluffy lady lasted 3 months longer then she thought she would, and she was glad she left this world the way she did, as I am too. Heaven now has my father, mother, my Shaboo, Shadow Lee and now my Fluffy lady. One day I will be with them all and be happy again- that's what I live for now. I will do my best to keep my midnite-shadow happy and healthy until our time comes and we can go together. He misses his sister so, as do I.
                           I wanted to thank you all for you support and for the lighting of the candles for her these last three months. I prayed for a miracle and really thought I got one, but I got another kind- the gift of a little more time. I cheerish the lasting memories of my beloved Fluffy and know she's in a better place, in heaven with my family. God bless you all and thank you again.Debbie

Dear, dear Debbie . . .
My heart breaks for you just now
as you have lost your precious little Fluffy.
Each grief is its own,
and although I and many others here
have felt its touch upon our hearts,
and have sorrowed over the loss
of dear animal companions,
your story is unique to you and to Fluffy.
Please know that although you feel so terribly alone,
you are not alone.
 
I too, have felt that my life was not worth living
without my beloved animals,
but there was always one waiting for me,
needing love and care,
and my heart just keeps opening
with each new cat . . .
there is always room for one more.
 
If I had ended it all,
when my first beloved pet died,
my world would have been so vacant
of all the love I have since found . . .
in Twyla and Sadie,
Honeyboy, Tulip and Lady Jane,
Gabrielle and Demelza . . .
Rosie and Sparrow (yes),
and Daphne, Phoenix, Libby, Fletcher,
and most recently,
the irrepressible Sophie.
And they will all be there
when it is finally my time to cross the Rainbow Bridge . . .
 
There is a beautiful story
that I will share with you now, dear Debbie . . .
 
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 
Author unknown...

You may not realize it just now,
but you are still needed here . . .
and love awaits you
in its own time, dear one . . .
 
I light a candle now,
to honour your little Fluffy
who is now free from pain and suffering
with much love . . .
sparrow
 

everything counts... ♥

Hello dear Debbie,
I join Sparrow in saying how sad I am for you right now. The love between person and pet is so special, and never dies.
As Sparrow says, you are still needed here and the love you shared with Fluffy needs to be shared again when you feel ready.
I'm so sorry for the pain you feel now for the loss of your beloved Fluffy. As a fellow cat lover I understand totally, as I have had to part with quite a few beloved cats and dogs in my life. There are so many of these wonderful little animals out there in need of love.
 
Please know we are thinking of you Debbie,
 
with Love,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dear Debbie,
 
Like Sparrow and Jude I am sad for you!  I am so sorry that you have lost your beloved Fluffy! Each companion is unique! Fluffy continues to live in your heart! Many of us have experienced such a loss. You are not alone!
 
Your heart grows with the love you give! Perhaps in time you will be able to share it with other animals waiting to be loved and to become loving companions.
 
I will light a candle in honor of Fluffy!
 
Much love,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Oh Debby
Bless your heart. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  This is a time to grieve.  But there is more living you have to do.  When we are in the depths of grief its hard to see that life can ever be worthwhile again.  But it can, Debby.  Just as we never know when someone will pass, we never know when love and / or another life will appear.  For today there is grief and a heart that feels broken.
 
I am sorry for all of your losses Debby.  And i will light a candle for Fluffy, you and midnight shadow.  With love, liliwings
 

No need to spend endless hours, days, weeks searching for the rainbow.  Open your heart and your eyes to see and know you are the rainbow you seek.  Rejoyce in the beauty of the co-creation of you.

Thank you all for your kindness and compassion, it is greatly appreciated. Nobody understands though how I feel- I'm all alone, except for my poor Midnite-Shadow, who has to watch me cry all day long. I know he is missing his sissy too, and I try not to upset him- he's all I have in the whole world. I'm totally void of humans in my life- no family or friends. My mother was my whole world for my whole life and now she's gone and my Fluffy is up there too- all my family is up there, and I just buy my time until I can go home too and be happy again. I know this sounds like the ramblings of some crazy person, but I'm not I promise. I grew up an only child and my parents were all I had, even back then. I always felt different, because at an early age I had to become an adult and care for them, and I did it until the day they both died- that's all I ever knew. I'm disabled from being a chronic diabetic with complications, so people don't want to be bothered with someone like me. I used to tell my mother I was a freak of nature, and that's how I feel still. This isn't living, it's existing that's all. The day my Midnite-Shadow goes to heaven is the day I join my family. I told my mother I just wanted to live long enough to take care of her and them and now it's just him and me. I've made my peace with it, I'm sick physically and not going to get better. I won't let the state come along and put me in one of those places where people wait to die. I used to tell my mother all the time she had me I have nobody to fight for me and my rights.Like the saying goes lifes a bitch and then you die, it's so true. This is my hell, but when I die I will be reunited with my family and finally be happy again. This is how it was meant to be. Thank you all for everything. God Bless you all.

Dear Debbie,
I'm so sorry you think this way. I wish I could persuade you that life is good and for living.
 
My Sister and her husband are both diabetics with terrible complications, but they both still enjoy life to the full. My Brother-in-law has just the teeniest amount of vision, has had heart surgery, can't feel his legs or feet and is getting kidney problems, but he does the weekly shop on his own, helps get their meals and enjoys regular days out and holidays. Help is there for you Debbie, and people do care. Please don't give up.
 
I will light another candle for you and your companion,
 
with Love and Blessings,
Jude

Love is the only way

Dearest Debbie . . .
I hope that you will keep coming to the forum.
Who knows,
something might stand out to you
that might help give you back your life.
I know that diabetes is hard to deal with . . .
my older sister had it.
But it does not identify you.
What identifies you is your love and your compassion,
which is apparent in your devotion to your family
both human and 'nonhuman' . . .
We at the forum
are here for you,
reaching out to you.
It may sound empty,
but it might be that a doctor or a counsellor
could help you more actively
with the deep sadness you are experiencing just now.
 
we are all given suffering and sorrow,
no one of us is exempt.
If you can open your heart to the gifts held within
you will find a whole new world of love.
It is there.
It is here.
It is just waiting
with love . . .
sparrow

everything counts... ♥

Debbie,
 
I am so sorry for your loss.
I pray for your heart to heal from all the loss and loniliness you feel inside your heart. May God's love and light surround you each moment and comfort you at this unconsolable time. May life's sun shine fill you up with radiant light and healing. Love to you precious Debbie, Diane

Grateful to be here!
What a gift and connection builder!
Love and Gratitude,
Love who You Are

Dearest Debbie,
 
Thank you for being so honest about the way you feel!
 
I want to second everything already said.
"People don't want to be bothered with someone like me." This is an assumption we would like to prove wrong! Try us! Everyone is worthwhile! You are very sad now!
As Sparrow says, if you are willing to open your heart you will discover gifts to share, gifts that will give meaning to your life!
 
Please, come back and let us support you!
 
I will light a candle for you!
 
Much love and warm hugs,
Edda

Peace and joy!

Dear Debbie,

I feel the same as everybody else here, and I want you to know that I am going to light a candle with my heart-felt prayer for you.

Much Love,
Juliana

"Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" (M.B.Rosenberg)

Dearest Debbie hello again
 
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Fluffy
 
Everyone wrote such true things dear Debbie can I add ask your 

 
veterinarian  to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group.
 
Check with your church or hospital for grief counseling this will help you
 
Debbie because you seem so isolated right now you really do..
 
I continue to hold you and your loved ones in my prayers daily.
 
I just hope in time you see just how valuable you are to this world.
 
Take care of yourself  Debbie ,Sandra xx
 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love~and be loved in return♥♥